Poonstra
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2018
- Messages
- 267
- Reaction score
- 189
- Age
- 46
So I met this Brazilian girl on tinder, just about a year ago. Altho we have a bit different interests, we get along pretty great and start dating about twice a week. The sex was really good and she never denied it, in fact, it was usually the first thing we did when we saw each other.
About 6-7 weeks in we were sitting on my couch and had my laptop near. She upfronted some money, so I tell her to give her bank account number so I can refund her. She makes a fuss about it and says she wants it cash. I press the point and she says she doesn't have one.
I put two and two together and ask her if shes illegal in my country, she is. I don't care, I like the girl so we continue forward.
She has two kids, a boy 15 and a girl 17. They live in an apartment where they share a room. In the apartment also live her two sisters, one of which has has another 2 kids. Over where I live, kids can go to school, even if they don't have a legal status.
I never bring up her being illegal, and around the 6 month mark the inevitable question comes, if I can help her obtain a legal status. The girl turns 18 in about 6 months, and from that point on she can't go to school anymore. I say I'll think about it.
Two weeks later I get a text, the police got her (it was a unfortunate series of events that let to her getting chaught) and they are taking her to the station, here she stays until she can be identified. Here illegals are presented with an option, if they choose to leave the country on their own they get 4 weeks that they can use to get their affairs in order, and they can spend that time in freedom.
Of course by this time there's an emotional attachment, I promise to help her get back once she and her kids are back in Brazil.
On the day that she had to leave the country I take them to the airport, where we have to report to an office of the military police, and from there she's put on a plane. I took it pretty bad seeing her and her kids getting escorted through security by two MP's.
The first three weeks without her were pretty bad. When there used to be someone and now their gone, that leaves a void.
I start doing research about the procedures which are necessary to get the three of them back here, while she studies for to test that she has to do as a part of her coming back. I discover that there are some serious legal consequences for me if I bring them over. I have to provide housing and I have to guaranty all medical costs to a maximum of 10K a year for 5 years for the 3 of them, so in a worst case scenario I cloud go down 150.000 Euro. If it doesn't work I'll be responsible to make sure they get back.
Last month I go over to them on vacation. I spend a week in Rio with her, and two more weeks with her and her kids. She has a house there but it was ofcourse nothing much. I've met her kids when they were here, but didn't spend much time with them, they are teenagers and do there own thing. One of the things I wanted to do there was see if I fit in this family and feel if there is a way that this could work. I wasn't feeling it, they were pretty nice to me but also not super warm. The 17 year old girl managed to not ask me a single question in the time I was there.
So last week i get back home, and had a hard time making up my mind. Last Friday I decide to call her and tell her I don't see this working. I think she saw this coming by her reaction.
I pretty much think I know how you guys will answer, but did I do the right thing? Couse I feel like sh!t. I feel like I'm letting them down in a big way.
Some other thoughts on this:
If it was her alone, perhaps I could do it, but all the risks are being put on my plate, if those kids cause damage it's gonna be my problem.
I do think she genuinely liked me, witch makes this pretty hard. Sh!t test were at a minimum and she was honest about her situation.
If she wouldn't have asked me to help 2 weeks before she got caught, I might have done it. Now I feel she was planning this, she had one year to find a man and get her hooks into him.
She never made problems or asked for money.
If I wouldn't have promissed to help them they might not have left. I feel that I let them on and feel bad about this.
About 6-7 weeks in we were sitting on my couch and had my laptop near. She upfronted some money, so I tell her to give her bank account number so I can refund her. She makes a fuss about it and says she wants it cash. I press the point and she says she doesn't have one.
I put two and two together and ask her if shes illegal in my country, she is. I don't care, I like the girl so we continue forward.
She has two kids, a boy 15 and a girl 17. They live in an apartment where they share a room. In the apartment also live her two sisters, one of which has has another 2 kids. Over where I live, kids can go to school, even if they don't have a legal status.
I never bring up her being illegal, and around the 6 month mark the inevitable question comes, if I can help her obtain a legal status. The girl turns 18 in about 6 months, and from that point on she can't go to school anymore. I say I'll think about it.
Two weeks later I get a text, the police got her (it was a unfortunate series of events that let to her getting chaught) and they are taking her to the station, here she stays until she can be identified. Here illegals are presented with an option, if they choose to leave the country on their own they get 4 weeks that they can use to get their affairs in order, and they can spend that time in freedom.
Of course by this time there's an emotional attachment, I promise to help her get back once she and her kids are back in Brazil.
On the day that she had to leave the country I take them to the airport, where we have to report to an office of the military police, and from there she's put on a plane. I took it pretty bad seeing her and her kids getting escorted through security by two MP's.
The first three weeks without her were pretty bad. When there used to be someone and now their gone, that leaves a void.
I start doing research about the procedures which are necessary to get the three of them back here, while she studies for to test that she has to do as a part of her coming back. I discover that there are some serious legal consequences for me if I bring them over. I have to provide housing and I have to guaranty all medical costs to a maximum of 10K a year for 5 years for the 3 of them, so in a worst case scenario I cloud go down 150.000 Euro. If it doesn't work I'll be responsible to make sure they get back.
Last month I go over to them on vacation. I spend a week in Rio with her, and two more weeks with her and her kids. She has a house there but it was ofcourse nothing much. I've met her kids when they were here, but didn't spend much time with them, they are teenagers and do there own thing. One of the things I wanted to do there was see if I fit in this family and feel if there is a way that this could work. I wasn't feeling it, they were pretty nice to me but also not super warm. The 17 year old girl managed to not ask me a single question in the time I was there.
So last week i get back home, and had a hard time making up my mind. Last Friday I decide to call her and tell her I don't see this working. I think she saw this coming by her reaction.
I pretty much think I know how you guys will answer, but did I do the right thing? Couse I feel like sh!t. I feel like I'm letting them down in a big way.
Some other thoughts on this:
If it was her alone, perhaps I could do it, but all the risks are being put on my plate, if those kids cause damage it's gonna be my problem.
I do think she genuinely liked me, witch makes this pretty hard. Sh!t test were at a minimum and she was honest about her situation.
If she wouldn't have asked me to help 2 weeks before she got caught, I might have done it. Now I feel she was planning this, she had one year to find a man and get her hooks into him.
She never made problems or asked for money.
If I wouldn't have promissed to help them they might not have left. I feel that I let them on and feel bad about this.
