Diary of a Seducer: Macallik's Approach Journal

[macallik]

FR: Letting Nature Take Its Course

Alright fellas I'm finally typing up this update for the follow up 'date' with Akilah so let's get into it....

This past Sunday, me and Akilah are texting back and forth. Im the kind of guy that doesn't like texting so I cut to the chase I ask if her she wants to hang out. She lets me know she is down so I just need to pick the place. This is the hard part coz I don't know bout yall, but where I'm from, on a Sunday there aint sh!t to do but church.

After a little contemplation, I hit her back on her phone, saying that we should go to the beach because "it should be kinda quiet but mainly because I want to see her in a two piece". She texts me back laughing but declines and suggests we got to a Nature Reserve instead. Ooookay sounds gay. Fvck it, I've got nothing else to do plus I'm liking my chances with Akilah so I accept

I pull myself away from Metal Gear Solid 1 long enough to get a shower and get dressed. Also I had to make a run to the grocery store to get pizza toppings for my mom which helped make homemade pizza that was actually pretty good. But yea, me and Akilah meet up at her house and she tells me she can follow me or I can park in her yard and ride with her. Well with the cost of gas nowadays I practically broke my leg trying to get into her car.

I thought about trying to segue straight into her house -> bedroom but didn't have the chance. We take her car and head to the Nature Reserve. The ride consisted mainly of strained conversation and me going through her ipod and rolling my eyes at the crappy songs she had. It was like the who's who of crappy crossover artists and sappy songs but I digress.

We get to the park and she hops out the car first. She is wearing some skimpy jean shorts and a tight tee shirt. Instant wood, lol. Unfortunately, there are other people walking around at the nature reserve. Not 100s or even 10s but at some couples and people walking their dogs, etc about 6-7 people in total so that seems to be a monkey wrench thrown into my whole 'take her to a secluded area and get busy' plan.

Fastforward about a half an hour. We are walking through the trail; climbing rocky hills, ducking under branches and whatever other obstacles you expect in a nature reserve and the 'date' is going okay. Im keeping the kino going like nobodies business. Every now and then I would just rest my arms on her shoulders and once I put my arm around her shoulder (I slipped up, I don't like doing that coz to me it signifies bf/gf or possession when that is not the signal i want to send out to her)

Also, I'm walking around with a constant erection and I keep grabbing her and holding her real close from behind so she feels it even though I don't do/say anything sexual.

She keeps asking me if I am feeling shy because I'm not talking and I keep telling her no. It got kinda irritating. The reason I wasn't really talking was coz I feel like I kinda lost some interest in her and so I have lost that will to push myself to find out more about her. It's weird coz I don't usually lose interest this quick, especially if I've only made out with the girl. Maybe its coz all I think she can offer me is sex that I am losing interest/pursuing only the sexual aspect with her?

We reach the end of the trail and I tell her lets go back through the trail and then head to the car. During the walk back I see that the other people are leaving and so its now or never. We get to an somewhat secluded area. There are trees all around the walkway, so unless you are on the path you can't see in. I push her against a tree in the middle of the main trail and start making out with her. Things start to get a little hot n heavy with the groping and body meshing and we stop... Not 2 minutes later some dude comes jogging by with his little dog. That would have been some funny/awkward sh!t right there!

So we start walking again after our little session and a couple minutes later we reach another quiet spot and she grabs me and we start making out again. There is an overhanging cliff to the right of us and being the opportunist that I am, I tell her lets go makeout over there. She says that she should have never kissed me down her coz she knew I was gonna do this, but walks to cave-like underside of the cliff with me.

I plop down and motion for her to sit with me and since she doesn't want to sit on the sandy rock, she sits in my lap... how convenient. Obviously she wants it.

We continue making out and I'm flexing my d!ck constantly so that she can feel that sh!t; let her know it's there and happy that she is here. She brushes her hand against my d!ck and I flex it and she gently strokes it for a bit before stopping. I grab her hand and put it on top of the d!ck and she starts rubbing it, this time with feeling.

After like ten minutes of rubbing I realize she isn't going to take the initiative to go any further so out of left field I say aloud "Jeeez okay okay, just tell me if you need help undoing the button" and undo my pants. She hits me with that cliched sh!t Im sure most of you have heard before. That whole "OMG you're so bad" "I can't believe I'm doing this" "your a bad influence" charade. It was a turnoff really... it sounds so generic and its obvious as fvck that she wants it just like I do but I guess it is one of those things that one guy liked when a girl said it and so they say it to every guy before doing something sexual?

Back to the good stuff though, she starts giving me a handjob and then she starts telling me she knows what I want but Im not getting to third base yet. I'm like "I don't even know what 3rd base is, can you explain that to me " and she just smiles. I start fingering her and she is moaning a little. I try to go for the g-spot but that is hella awkward to try and find if the chick aint laying down or on all fours so I settle for the cl!t and start rubbing it in circles. She starts moaning even harder before stopping me coz she said "I keep doing that it will lead to sex."

We start making out again with her standing, facing towards me and me sitting down. She is leaning in to kiss me while giving me a handjob @ the same time. After a while I lean back and smile. The only thing close to her mouth still is my d!ck. She is hesitates like she is going in for a second or two and then she gets up and walks away.

She peaks around the corner of the cliff, comes back, and then walks around the cliff to see if anyone is there. I'm sitting under the cliff with my d!ck out while this girl is going on a treasure hunt for some nature reserve voyeurs, smh. Anyawys she comes back and starts slobbing the knob. It was actually pretty good, partially because its been a while since I got some head, but regardless, the whole idea of maybe getting caught is a thrill and the horizion made for a memorable backdrop while i was getting my d!ck sucked. It beats a ceiling fan or some wack ass musical poster any day, haha.

I finish up and then its just kinda funny awkward. In my head I'm like "Ohhhh babbbbbyyy I just got my d!ck sucked. Start the ticker tape parade. Yippie!!!" so Im just smiling to myself, in my own world while Akilah is likely feeling awkward and like she is being judged be my coz I'm silent and smiling. We get back to the car and she is like what do you want to do now and I don't have the heart to tell her that I already came and so Im ready to go sleep so we drive around for an hour or so before we head back to her place so that I can get my ride and go.

We get close to her house and who should be outside other than her dad, the preacher! Akilah, being the smart girl she is, slows down, makes eye contact with her father and speeds off. Man I felt guilty being an accomplice so I'm sure it looked guilty as hell to the Dad. Because we aren't sure how long he is gonna be outside, me and her gotta drive randomly for ANOTHER hour where we talk sommore and go over our alibies if her father is still outside.

We get to her house and no one is outside so I tell her goodbye and sneak off into the night...



All in all, it was a good day. I don't even really want to fvck Akilah but I probably will end up doing so coz her parents are leaving in a couple days and she has her own place as well.

 

[macallik]

I'm a lil late but thanks for the kind words j0n024. After my last encounter I think I am slowly getting on the road to crazy FR stories that you have been riding for quite some time, lol



Comments are welcome people. Let me know you are out there, heck tell me how much you hate me or something, damn.

 

[macallik]

FR: Swing and a miss by Sosa

Usually I get a couple rejections each time I go out and don't really report on them, but this one made me think. I was standing at the club and this cute petite girl was behind me, supposedly giving a little eye contact. I had had a couple drinks, not excessive, but enough for a buzz. (I think it came to 3 Buds and a heavy scotch and ale on an empty stomach) The little cutie had on a semi see-through black top with a bra underneath and some skinny jeans on.

I glanced behind myself and saw potential in the situation. After a while she walked past me, made a second of eye contact and put her hands on me to get by like you often do in a club setting with little space. The thing is, there was more than enough room for her to maneuver around me so i took this as a sign of interest. I decided then and there I was going in to my friend although I had already started talking myself out of it in my head haha. When that happens I really need to get into some sets to just act first and think second but so we go sometimes.

When she returns to her position, I go in, confident at first but self conscious within a couple words. I don't know what it was but my swagger was non-existent. The way I was talking to her didn't seperate me from any other guy in the club, let alone the rest of the world. I kinda panicked and went into auto-pilot, asking questions that have nothing to do with who she is as a person or showing who I am as a person. Terrible stuff for a seducer. I went to grind with her and she declined saying she doesn't dance. I stall out and go back to my friend and talk to him before relocating.

I decide to reopen her later when the club has closed and we are leaving the club. But for some reason I'm like a fish out of water tonight, struggling for something.. anything to talk about. All I can think about is not stalling out and my mind is subconsciously working against me. Kind of like that 'Don't think of an elephant' idea where you can't properly handle the negation and what you don't want to happen ends up being the only thing you can think about/execute.

I ended up telling her "I have had a couple drinks so i am not as talkative as normal" proceeded by "This is normally when i ask for the number..." She (unsurprisingly) replies that she doesn't give out her number. I go "Oh.." then i pretend to text someone on my phone to save my bruised ego while she walks away.

I felt frustrated with myself, coz it's my job to make her want me, either explicitly (via DHV, C&F, quoting, etc) or implicitly (social proof, group theory, negging, etc). What I realized is for me, swagger alone seems to be the main difference between cashing in and going home feeeling like I didn't capitalize on my opportunity.

When my swagger is on point, everything else comes natural. A lot of women talk about disliking ****yness but the ones I've experienced in my life eat it up. It's a fine line between being ****y because you are confident and being ****y because you are insecure though. I've seen a lot of failure in recent journals I've been reading...

To all the guys crashing and burning out there, ask yourself, "What am I doing (either explicitly or implictly) to raise interest with this woman?" It is okay to assume you are the prize but upon interaction you also need to SHOW (i prefer to do so in a subtle manner) that you are a prize.

 

[Lyndon]

Dating

Well….there are many ways of getting to a solution…may be the one you say is not the most appropriate one….but whatever….;-)

 

[rushing dude 123]

Hey man saw that u had a journal to so had a look and i just have to say i think MGS1 is a awesome game 2 lol!!. lol nah but seriously i liked ur approaches/closes and the date with akilah was very good how u overcame her resistance. I think u do things pretty well , maybe a suggestion i could make is maybe a experiment on a bit more of day game 2. Other than that thanks i learned a few things from u and read a bit on the other journals u linked on ur page, which were pretty good 2. Would like to c more of ur approaches.

 

[macallik]

FR: Aint nothing going on but the rent

Thanks for dropping a line Lyndon. I guess only time will tell if the choices I make are the right ones but as long as I'm having fun, I can't see myself being disappointed with my decision at all really.


haha rushing dude. I got the PS3 MGS4 Bundle and because I heard that there was an epic storyline in the MG series, I bought the MGS: Essential Collection as well. At the current rate I'm going I should be playing MGS4 by around er... 2015

But as for your comments, thanks a lot man. I'm gonna look into the things you suggested definitely. Also, I like how your journal poses theories and then tests them in the field for results. I might try something similar in the future. Keep us updated on your journal man.




Onto the today's report. After my somewhat awkward rejection in my last FR (titled: Swing and a Miss By Sosa) I put some thought into what would be a good opener in the club (please drop your opinions on what a good club opener is, I'm down to test any suggestions) talking in the club seems hard because well... what exactly do you talk about in the club scene being that a) you don't want to bullsh!t about the superficial stuff like how the music is great/sucks or what your favorite drink to get at the bar is, but b) you don't want to get too deep because it is essentially a first date.. when it struck me. Why not make that question the opener???

I gotta admit when I first got the idea i felt like it was the bestest damn opener in the world. Taking the post-modern approach to the whole thing and dissecting it while subtlely partaking in it seemed creative and cute to me so I figured I'll have tons of success using it.

Fastforward to last night. there is a girl standing in the corner next to me, I go up with a little swagger and post up next to her but don't talk to her. I've got a ****y smile on my face and usually when my demeanour is like this I can't go wrong.

Thirty seconds go by. Then a full minute. Then another one. Then another. Fvck, I was looking so confident but its hard to maintain that feeling when you aren't going in and approaching even though you want to. The anxiety of the sitaution is hurting my game for sure here. I recollect an article I read on SS years ago about just walk up and then let the rest fall into place so I stop thinking and my feet start moving. My head is trying to tell my feet to stop but it was like they were possessed, haha

M: Hey how you doin tonight?
Bonita: I'm good
M: Cool cool. Hey I got a question for you... Alright when you meet a guy in the club what do you talk about because you don't want to bullsh!t about the music but at the same time you don't want to get too deep because it is essentially a first date
(I gotta admit, I'm not really used to 'canned' material (well perhaps 'thought-out material' is a more appropriate phrase) so when I started talking I felt like a robot or some seedy PUA haha. Images of the 'who lies more openers' and 'asking for a female opinion' flashed violently through my head as I opened, haha. However, this is my homemade opener so nothing to feel awkward or ashamed of anyways.)
Bonita: Hmm well I don't know. Probably not much being that my boyfriend is right over there (points to this guy who looks like he is trying to pick up a girl sitting on the other side of the table Bonita is sitting by)
M: Oh man so that must really cut down on the conversation topics we have to talk about huh
Bontia: Yea
M: Well you can help me, for the next girl. What would be something great to talk about in the club?
Bonita: I dunno, something interesting and creative
M: Dammit I thought I just was! (laughing to myself and ejecting)

Well the opener worked okay I guess. I definitely need to test it a LOT more before I can give an honest review of it She didn't seem very interested from the onset and I doubt that guy really was her boyfriend so i can't really gauge the opener's effectiveness but it did start an easy to handle conversation easily. I think I'm going to tweak it a bit as well anyways, make it a bit more ****y and personal, also maybe use it during to open during the day as well.

At the club I was at I also saw a slightly tall, cute girl with a facial piercing dancing with this short dude and I managed to lock eyes with her a couple times while scoping the scene with a gangsta lean haha. I relocated and then stared again to get a bit more of a confirmation that it was indeed me she is looking at and it was. I asked my friend about her and he said he doesn't know who she is but then upon closer inspection he says

Friend: Oh that is ________ and she is with her boyfriend. He used to play basketball in the local league and just got out of prison.

Dammit

Anyways, the guy leaves his girl on the dancefloor and she kinda gravitates towards my vicinity. Like she went from being 14 feet away to 4 feet away from me. My d!ck convinced me to go in, risking life and limb going after a guy's girl fresh out of jail. Not the smartest move I've made in the journal and I am trying to stay out of drama but anyways it ended up being a crappy approach anyways.

M: *grabs arm gently* Are you here dancing with your boyfriend
_____: *kinda smiles* Yeah
M: Oh okay *fades into background*

and that was it. The weird thing was she stayed in the vicinity and kept looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I wanted to go back in or think of a better opener and go back in time and use it. All the stuff I've read on boyfriend destroyers and the likes and I still aint executing it when I should.


After this i went to another club and danced with a girl for like a minute before she said it was too hot and stopped dancing. Whatever. I had a lot of eye contact tonight but hardly followed up on any. Can't wait to get to that confidence level where I just walk up to cuties with swagger ALL THE TIME. I think I need to be more consistent in approaching to get there

Oh and don't forget to drop your opinions on what a good club opener is or would include with examples if you got any. I'm down to test any suggestions

 

[macallik]

Nothing from nothing leaves nothing

Can't even make a FR out of last night. In short, five girls rejected me. Didn't get a chance to dance with 'em, let alone speak to them. On the plus side, if you can call it that, I did approach after 'signs of interest' although none of them ended up being fruitful. If a girl would give me decent eye contact I went in for the dance. If she turned and looked at me while I was behind her I went in for the dance and if she danced in a way that was movin towards my direction, I would go up and dance with her but I never got much grinding in before they turned, looked at me and ejected. Ouch

The club got closed early because some gang members weren't getting admitted so they rushed the door, but before it did I ran into Carrie and managed to not talk to her yet again. She was dancing with some guy when I first noticed her and then another guy when I was gettin ready to talk to her. Oh well. Still have to test my new opener and I'll let yall know how it goes

 

[macallik]

Doe Ray Me. It's all about Me !

I see myself as the kind of guy who doesn't need the social spotlight to live my life. In fact, one of my fears in life is becoming famous because people wouldn't like me for who I am but what I have. That is my fear with women too or at least thats what I tell myself when my cheap ass goes dutch on dinner dates and doesn't buy drinks at the bar or 'conveniently' leaves my wallet at home when we go to the movie theater. If I was looking for an actor to play me, it would be someone broody but with a sense of humor (and ruggedly good looks of course). I never call my closest friends or visit their houses often. I feel guilty about it, like I am not making an effort to be a good friend but I am just so comfortable by myself that it discourages me from making the effort.

I went out with one those friends last night. He is that guy with a couple hundred facebook friends and knows a lot of guys and girls that say hello to him when we are out clubbing. The thing is, I swear never ever (ever ever ever) talks to girls when we go for a night on the town. I'm sure you fellas know someone like that, if you are not 'that guy' yourself. He actually reminds me of how I used to be when I was a little younger and I think I inadvertently take some of my old frustrations out on him at times. I think that notion of people disliking their flaws in other people rings true in this case.

After a couple hours of watching him watch me at the club or staring at the dancefloor, I ended up scolding or belittling his successes at the end of the other night. It's not that he is a try hard but on the contrary that he doesn't try hard enough. At the end of the night he will say something like "The girl in the black was staring at me a couple times" not in a braggadocious way but kind of statement to reinforce to himself that he could have gotten her if he were only in some alternate universe where he approached girls. He is just so content.. or should I say resigned, to not meet girls that he doesn't even expect/try to meet girls when we go out. His reasoning for going out was to be seen so that if he sees the girls again and he is introduced through a friend, the girl he is interested in can think "Yeah, he's a cool guy, I've seen him out clubbing a few times" I kid you not, this is what he told me.

The thing is, his defense mechanism has brought attention to my defense mechanism. I don't think I can attract/keep an older attractive woman like Carrie and as a result I have somehow managed to avoid her each time I have the chance to hang with her or shot myself in the foot and rationalized it to be her fault. Funny story though, i wikipedia'd defense mechanisms and read one of them called 'intellectualization' In laymens terms intellectualizaiton is when someone overanalyzing the theoretical aspect of a situation to distance yourself from the emotional aspect. I hope that one defense mechanism isn't leading to another, plus all this self diagnosis can't be good either. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, and I'm back. What was trying to say before I started rambling was that as a seducer, the onus is on me. I am the parent of 99.9% of the outcomes I encounter in relationships and life. I guess it is like the existentialist say, accepting responsibility for the actions and results in your life is the biggest hurdle.

One question I posed to myself today was what am I looking for right now and
I have a confession to make. At the risk of sounding like a girl... I don't know what I want in the opposite sex.

I want everything and nothing at the same time. Nowadays. when the ladies ask me what I am looking for in a girl, I tell them a sense of humour because that is the only thing I am certain that I want. Even then, a sense of humour is just based on the girls I've had in the past. Who knows about the future though, I might get along great with a girl who doesn't think Arrested Development is the best tv series ever. I might click with a girl who thinks that Tom Bergeron is funny comedian and that Family Guy is a better show than South Park. You never know what you want until you've tried it a couple times so I don't want to pidgeonhole myself either.

The thing is though, if I told a girl exactly what was on my mind when she asked that question that always comes up in the 'getting to know you' stage, she would head for the hills, stopping briefly to notify the mental asylum of a possible missing patient. But since we are all friends here and you don't know where to send the police to have me commited, I'll let yall in on the 'specifics'. It goes a little something like this...

What do I want?
-I want to fvck as many girls as possible but I want something more than just sex. It should be noted that I can/have had/and will continue to have hot, steamy, meaningless sex throughout this journal and the next decade in my life at least, but I would like at least one steady girl that I can look forward to being with for extended periods of time.

With the lower quality plates I don't want to give them strictly FB status. I want some kind of affection with all the girls I am involved with but not too much because if you are low quality something is obviously awry with you. I am guessing when I have more high quality plates I will want less and less from the low quality plates though.

-I don't want a girl who plays games but I don't want a girl who likes me too fast too quick. This is definitely the rub for me as an aspiring seducer. There will always be a finer, cuter chick around the corner and so chasing or putting up with any silliness seems counterproductive. On the other hand, the fun is definitely in the thrill of the chase for me. I enjoy making my moves and watching the girl slowly cave for me instead of her being head over heels from the start.

-I want a girl who I can have stability with but like DeNiro said in 'Heat' I don't want to get so attached that I can't drop it in 30 seconds if I see trouble. Nuff said.

 

[macallik]

I am being made redundant at my job this upcoming week. They ran out of work and are letting me go. I want to get laid, not laid off

Thats the way the cookie crumbles I guess. I didn't LOVE my job, but I liked it enough that I wasn't resenting what I was doing or feeling insignificant. The people I worked with were also amazing. Immigrants to ex-cons to high school dropouts to ppl who have worked on nearly every continent. A lot of their ideals mirror what I am or want to become. I won't forget them, thats for sure.

The way I am looking at this though is that it should give me more free time to hunt during the day. I also plan on reading (non-seduction material) as well. Novels, Literary Criticisms, artistic theories, etc. It make me feel productive, and accomplished because otherwise it is just me, my PS3 and a feeling of worthlessness clouding around my life. This is why I prefer being in school. I feel like I am moving towards a goal... not any goal in particular but just self-betterment makes me feel good. Perhaps this is why I like seduction so much....

 

[macallik]

FR: Make me feel... like nothing is for real

One of childhood friends is currently being visited by his girlfriend from university. We all went to university together and she is a cool, down to earth chick, who has the problem of wanting everyone to like her. Anyways, before i get off topic, she brought along her sisters and a friend, all of which are attractive. Me and the fellas planned it so that me and the friend would hang out and the guy I talked about briefly (in the report Doe Ray Me. It's all about Me!) would take a sister, so that my other friend can spend quality time with his girlfriend.

The situation with my girl is going rather decent. She is easy to talk to and easy on the eyes. She has a lot of the same ideals I have in relationships although I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing though, ha. She was talking about being in more than one relationship and liking more than one guy at a time, etc.

The attraction was definitely there thanks to me being my ****y and funny self, as well as social proof through the sisters who went university with me and saw some of my adventures and escapades. Me and the girl talked about and did the stuff you supposedly would want to talk about based on the romantic comedies I've seen. We walked on the beach @ night, got caught in the rain, stayed up all night talking, she's on vacation so we have limited time, etc. One thing I didn't do was kiss her mostly because by the time I thought she was primed and ready I had morning breath and no means to fix it. (From now on I'm keeping a travel-size Listerine in my ride) Other than that though, the situation seems like something out of a movie, no? However...

...looking back and when I 'feel' about the situation it comes off as just a copy of the copy or my 'personal' reinterpretation of what is considered love in the world... hyperreality in the Jean Baudrillard sense of the word. Something was definitely missing on both sides of the coin. I don't know if it was sincerity, lust or being commited to the person, if only for a brief period of time but something was awry. I left the girl with a hug, knowing that if I never saw her again, it would be unfortunate but I wouldn't lose a second of sleep over it... which actually isn't want I want.

As for my friend, he surprisingly made out with his girl two days ago. Unfortunately for him, I fear he is trying to make it into more than it is worth. Early this morning we were all chilling watching tv and one by one, everyone fell asleep. With his girl, I saw him do the hesistant, slow moving, 'I don't want to wake you, I jut want to feel you next to me' arm around the shoulder move on a sleeping girl. I had to stifle myself from bursting out laughing and waking everyone.

I do find it ironic how we are childhood friends since about the age of 13 and yet on the one hand I am having trouble trying to feel something with the women I am with and his problem is that he feels to easily or too hard. IMO we have lived similar lives, but the only real difference in this field seems to be experience. I made a greater effort to improve myself with women as we got older and it created a kind of chasm between our ideas and beliefs about women. His foolhardy approach to love makes me cringe as a seducer and at the same time, jealous as a person. It reminds me of one girl I was kissing for the first time and I was putback by how she kissed. It was not her style or technique, but the way that she closed her eyes and leaned in... how she jumped head first into the moment with someone she has clicked with but still only known for a couple of days. For me, as a seducer, constantly contemplating choices and evaluating every encounter, these kind of actions seem impossible...

 

[rushing dude 123]

yeh man i had the same problem, but my friend always makes excuses like "the music is to loud" or "to much **** blocking" or "i am tired", always being pesimistic about anything. I am constantly telling him dj's don't look for ways out, they look for ways in and turn there disadvantages to advantages....Kinda like the approach u did which was just asking a girl what u talk about with guys in a club. Honestly though man, i think worrying about them is just harming our game, we have more important things to worry about, instead of helping the ones that r not looking for help.

Now on a serious note, u will really enjoy mgs 3 lol, pure owenage. Jk lol nice to see ur keeping the FR's coming man.

 

[macallik]

Thanks for the feedback RD. It's hard coz he's been one of my best friends so I want to see him do good... Actually has been doing good with the girl he was hanging wit so perhaps I spoke to soon about him. He just needs to find another lovey dovey chick and he is set I guess.

The girl from the last FR: (Make me feel... like nothing is for real) has taking up most of my time and concern. It is a lost cause in terms of getting anything from her but I am actually cool with that now. For a day or so I was actually jealous and couldn't stop thinking about her. It wasn't like I was replaying a convo in my head or rethinking how we had such a great time. I knew she was out meeting the opposite sex and forging a connection while I wasn't, but my mind seemed to try and chalk this up to me actually 'liking her' liking her.

I managed to put things in perspective and after me and her had a long talk and I actually lost interest. Nothing like a long talk to bring those false ideas that always gets built up when you infatuate crashing down. It's a good sign when I can keep my interest in check without other options but I need more plates. As for the girl, the conclusion I've reached for the err in my interactions with her was that i was being romantic (for lack of a better word) with a chick that doesn't like feelings, a female dandy. In fact I'm gonna do a little thinking and create a theory concerning this in my next post.

Last night I went out and danced with two girls total. Didn't chat up any new girls though. I also saw Akilah and tried to hook up at the end of the night and she acted like she was kinda interested but flaked when it was time to callback/hang out. Not really surprised though. when you get a girl to give fellatio and then stop talking to her immediately after, they think you're after one thing. I could fake like I want to be in a relationship but i don't want to be in one with her and it can only lead to trouble. I'd rather have nothing to do with her then be fvcking her and trying to get her to leave me alone.

As for me, I'm gonna focus more on the day game aspect of it all for now. With my recent abundance of time during the day, I would like to make the best of it. Plus, I don't want to be just another guy who gets drunk and throws himself at a girl in the club. When four grown men are waiting for their chance to talk to one girl and no gangbang is involved, something is seriously wrong with the clubbing world we partake in. This happened last night with the female dandy girl I was talking about. Also, I see the approaches and funny interactions that Rushing Dude is having and I want to get my day game up to par and meet more quality girls.

 

[macallik]

FEMALE DANDY THEORY
I've actually come across about two or three girls like this that have been in my life for various timeframes and they've always thrown me for a loop. So I'm just gonna write out my beliefs on the situation to help others in similar situations and maybe get some discussion going so that we can find a solution or way around this. First off here are some traits on what I would call a Female Dandy:


- Multiple relationships Always juggling fellas, do not like to commit


- Extreme dislike or disapproval of emotions on either side of the relationship Inability to deal with or tolerate emotions. Does not like PDA, relationship titles, putting themselves in positions to get hurt, etc. Usually once you hurt them, they go way out of the normal paramaters of revenge and try to get back at you in twisted ways.


- Little to no female friends They supposedly think so much different from other women. The female dandy will dislike how women tend to think and caught in trivial bullsh!t and relationships, however...


- Their beliefs look contemporary/futuristic but are actually traditional at heartThe same girl will sh!t on LTR and then babble on and on about her ideal marriage. She will speak of equality but ends up being a sucker for chivalry and the likes. She will spin many plates but not do anything extremely intimate/physical with them because she doesn't want to sleep around with people. The girl who everyone thinks is a ho but ends up being a virgin.


My theory is that these girls are some of the most insecure women on the planet, but they live their lives to counteract all of their true feelings for fear of them being unearthed and taken advantage of. However, cracking that shell to leave them exposed always seems just out of reach. The fact that you can see the veiled insecurity if you pay attention is seductive because it makes a seducer push to get her to open up or change but it never works that way. Similar to how girls try and get the badboy type to try and open up and usually fall head over heels in the process, it is the same Catch-22. The only countermove I can think of is going in showing no emotion.



READING IS FUNDAMENTAL
Finished reading my first book of my 'extened vacation'. It was Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Sallinger. The reason I picked this book is because I saw Six Degrees of Seperation recently, and there is a great monologue on the book so I had to see what the fuss was about. It was a good book. I can't really relate to the protagonist although I did like some of his insights on life and the world around us. Perhaps when I was younger and going through my 'teenage angst' years dealing with conformity and structuralized popularity I could relate more, but nowadays i have (or at least like to think that I have) unlimited control over my life and beliefs.

One thing I did find interesting was Holden Caufield's dislike for phoniness when to the reader he is phony as hell. Becoming what you dislike and disliking what you become. I was interested in how no one actually understood Holden. I kept waiting for someone to click with him and it never happened, females and males alike. The one person you think that Holden gets along nicely with (Jane) never actually appears or says anything in the book, and likely hooked up with his roomate. I liked the interactions between Phoebe and Holden although she definitely didn't act her age.

 

[macallik]

Nothing to report. I've been hella lazy lately. The new flat screen and the copy of Madden 09 I have in my room certainly isn't helping. I'll be back with the goodness when i get off my ass and in the field

 

[macallik]

Quiet storm... blowing thru my mind

It's me again. Not much to report on, but I am slowly escaping the throes of AA which had me in its grips for a while. I've been biding my time well over the last couple weeks. While I have been playing entirely too much Madden 2009 (holla @ me if you good on the sticks for an online game) and Half-Life 2, I have also been getting some exercise done with runs 1-2 times a week and reading as well. Instead of settling for my stuffy house, being antisocial, I now grab a towel, squirt on some suntan lotion and head for the beach to read. I've gotten a couple hi's and a couple looks that I should have pursued but nothing worth noting as of yet..

Been out clubbing as usual lately, which reminds me that I need to get a job. Every time I withdraw money from the ATM I feel like I'm one step closer to begging for money on the streetcorner. Back to clubbing though, nothing major on that scene: a couple dances here, couple rejections there, the usual. Tried a couple 2sets and got blown out of every one. I had one approach that was noteworthy. It was an older woman in her mid twenties-early thirties and it flowed well. I walked by her to the bathroom and got some eye contact and what I took to be a smile. As I came out of the bathroom, I went in with "Excuse me... Are you feeling okay? Have you had too much to drink or anything?" to which she replies "Oh I'm feeling okay, why?". So i said with a smile "Oh I was just wondering coz I walked by and you didn't ask for my number or anything. I wanted to make sure you were feeling okay".

She starts cracking up and I'm in. I then ask her to rate my opener on a scale of 1-10, followed by talking about the worst and best opener she has heard, then we talked about what is expected/talked about in clubs. It flowed nicely but then I started getting bored of shouting over the speaker/not hearing her, and wanted to dance. She jokingly gave me some spiel about invading her personal space but in a way i wasn't exactly sure it was a joke. One of her friends came up to dance with her (a dude clearly a homosexual) and I stood there for a second and then ejected. I was gonna go back in for the # as I was leaving the club but she was dancing with some non-gay looking dude so I left in a huff.

Also, last night I went out and saw a girl I had danced with at a club before called Aries. I gently grab her as she is walking by to get her attention and she gives me this biiiiiig hug. She was hanging onto me for literally a minute she was so close for so long my d!ck got hard and so i did what any respecting man would do and thrusted it at her during the hug. I tell her save me a dance for later and she goes back to her corner with her entourage.

Later on, I went searching to get my dance and she was talking to another dude so I write her off for the time being. An hour or so passes and she is on the stage with a girl friend... she sees me... and comes over. She is hanging on me, kissably close again, and says lets go to the main area to dance. We start walking and then I'm like fvck it, I might as well swing for the fences. I ask her "Do your really wanna go to the main area to dance" to which she replies "wherever, I don't care" so I try and take her behind the main area for some hot action but she peels away at the last second, lol.

I danced with her a bit then and again later on and got her #.

She decent physically, but I don't see much more potential other than that. She is 18 and seems like she would be unintellectual (is that even a word). I think she is the kinda girl you sleep with and then hang out with once every 2-3 weeks afterwards when you are horny.

Speaking of trying to fvck I saw her at the club the other night with some other dude and I think some dude was texting her to fvck her when I was dancing with her last night, haha. I saw her getting a text saying something about fvcking while we were grinding. Long as I get my piece I suppose. I was arranging a hookup 2nite actually but something is wrong with my/her phone so that when I send the msg, it never leaves my outbox so after she texted me saying she had no plans, i tried to respond to no avail and then went for a run. When I got back like an hr later I decided to just call her and of course she doesn't pick up. Blah.

Also I saw Carrie and Akilah out last night. Said hello to Carrie, who was bartending, before I went all sheepish like a kid talking to his high school crush. Akilah I gave a hug to and then avoided for the rest of the night. It was awkward because she was standing by the main stairs so when I would cruise the place I would have to find original ways to get by her without being spotted. Once I went in the back by the maintenance area with the mops and trash bags.

So in conclusion I have gotten one number in like 3 weeks and I need more plates... yeeehah.

 

[macallik]

I've done a bit of reading recently but I didn't want to give any updates til I got a new # under my belt. (I refuse to be one of those approach journals that covers everything but approaches. You know who you are...)This has nothing to do with approaches so skip it if you want



A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
This was a decent book. Four people all bump into each other on their way to committing suicide and talk each other out of it for the time being.Pretty funny, with some laugh out loud moments. I had trouble with the young female character though. She was the stupidest most obnoxious character I've ever read. If I meet a girl like that in real life, I'm running for the hills. I hear Johnny Depp purchased the rights to turn this book into a movie...[/girly gossip]

Killing Time by Frank Tallis
We enter into this guy's life. We learn of how he used to be a nerd and until he met a guy who stood up with him against a bully @ a bar. They became friends and his friend convinced him to talk to that girl he always liked and they started dating as a result. {Spoiler}He builds a time machine based on some archaic formulas he found in a document and finds out his girlfriend is fvcking his best friend, so he bludgeons her to death and hides the body in some uninhabited part of the city. Years go by and the main character is a successful businessman. His friend comes back and tells him that he thinks he knows the reason why the wife disappeared... she killed herself because I (the friend) was fvcking her. The main character tells him don't sweat it and the book ends. Good book

Kiss Me Judas by Will Christopher Baer
A good cop gone insane comes out of the asylum looking for some sex before christmas. Gets a prostitute who steals his kidney after drugging him and sleeping with him. He thinks it is love (and apparently the author does too) and so he spends the whole book trying to catch her and fvck her (and maybe kill her though obviously it's not gonna happen). The book is all over the place. I didn't like it that much coz of that. To summarize the book it begins with him sleeping with a hooker, ends with him kissing a teenage homo dying of AIDS and somewhere in the middle he lets a male prostitute suck him off. Not your everyday Boxcar children story.


Now I'm readin a book on the stock market for beginners as well as George Orwell's 1984 (which fits in nicely with Half-Life 2)

 

[tr0ublemaker]

seems like what sets you apart from the other guys who hit on the girls avaliable to you is your "way with words" (sounds cheesy), but witty and colorful conversation, which you're capable of, is very attractive to women, especially the more intellectual of women..it contributes, and can really open doors, so keep that up..I guess you'd call that your "swag" that seems to be a hit or miss at times, but you'll eventually learn to control it in your favor

 

[macallik]

Aries flaked on me last night. Said "tonight isn't a good night" when I called to arrange the hookup she had agreed to during the day. Looking back it was expected. We talked for less than 2 minutes in the initial meeting. I forgot her name until she texted me it and she didn't know what I sounded like until we talked on the phone.

She kinda sorta attempted to reschedule but it seemed half-hearted. I told her I'm busy until Thursday (im really not though, lol) so that gives me time to decide what actions I will take. I gotta spike her attraction and I'm thinking perhaps I should cancel the (attempted) dates until she is attracted enough so that I know she won't flake. Might add her to fb or msn if she got it.

seems like what sets you apart from the other guys who hit on the girls avaliable to you is your "way with words" (sounds cheesy), but witty and colorful conversation, which you're capable of, is very attractive to women, especially the more intellectual of women..it contributes, and can really open doors, so keep that up..I guess you'd call that your "swag" that seems to be a hit or miss at times, but you'll eventually learn to control it in your favor

Thanks man. Can't wait to get the swag under control so that I'm more consistent. I agree that conversations create far more attraction with more intellectual girls. I need to find out how to get with the 'less intellectual' girls as well. There are too many dumb girls around not to try and exploit them. I try to be a witty guy with all the girls, but usually I have to be funny in order to get anywhere with less intellectual ones. I'm hypothesizing here but perhaps I can see a logical reason behind this:

Wit has to do with how you react to a situation. How you engage with the frame that has been set, it is reactive by nature. On the other hand funny is creating a new frame that draws others in and makes them laugh. It is assertive by nature.

If intellectual women understand themselves and where they are goin in their (dating) life, they need someone to acknowledge it (reactive) whereas the less intellectual (or less dating-savvy) females need you to get in there set a frame for them: take control and show them what is what (assertive). This is probably why they are so attracted to bad boys and men that are no good for them in the long run...

Makes sense in my head the more I think about it. Gotta field test it of course though....

 

[rushing dude 123]

Yeh man field testing never lies and is the only true way u will find out. Also dude Have u tried some different venues, seems like u keep bumping into the same chicks, unless they r all stalking u or something lol. Also another reason u might wanna change venues, is pick up is kinda like training, if u keep using the same training method u will not necessairly build muscle, but ur body just becomes use to the routine. Think thats why trainer always change all the methods of training after 3 months (i think), so that u don't get in a routine. It is similar with pick up, so variety is always good. Just like the good advice u gave me, push ur boundarys dude.

ps. nice to see u r still out there man.

 

[macallik]

Yeh man field testing never lies and is the only true way u will find out. Also dude Have u tried some different venues, seems like u keep bumping into the same chicks, unless they r all stalking u or something lol.

Lol. Yea man I do be running into the same chicks all the time don't I. I've been trying places like the beach and the park but no success yet. I usually look for a look or an indication of interest to go in, like a smile or something before I go in but imma have to change that.

Also another reason u might wanna change venues, is pick up is kinda like training, if u keep using the same training method u will not necessairly build muscle, but ur body just becomes use to the routine. Think thats why trainer always change all the methods of training after 3 months (i think), so that u don't get in a routine. It is similar with pick up, so variety is always good. Just like the good advice u gave me, push ur boundarys dude.

ps. nice to see u r still out there man.

Yea you right. good insight. imma work on mixing it up. I don't have a social life at the moment. I don't stay home all day, but the only time I leave the house is to try and bump into a cutie. I'm gonna work on just getting out more socially and meeting more people instead of just girls I want to get with.

Oh and RD, your journal is quickly turning into the best active one on SS, keep it going man.