Desdinova Goes To Bootcamp (journal)
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Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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Didn't do fvck all today. I've got relatives pouring into town, and my parents decided to take us out for supper. It was pretty miserable, as well as it was my boy's first day back from his mother. He had some new bad habits to show me.
I was hoping for some decent women at the restaraunt, but it was mostly old people. I did chat for a few seconds with a girl at the drink machine.
My first number close hasn't called back (surprise). I'll call her one more time tomorrow.
My second number close didn't answer the phone, so I left a message. I know that there's a huge consensus on not leaving a message, but as I said in the bootcamp PDF, this isn't rocket science. It's a bloody phone call. I know how to NEXT a woman who has no interest in dating me. However, I think I need to sit down and write a good standard script for leaving a message.
I've been waiting two days between the meet and the call. I may shave it down to the next day. I'm also trying to figure out if I can get texting involved in this. Perhaps a call first, text second, then NEXT. Using text messaging with dating is pretty new to me as it didn't really exist 8 years ago. But within the last year, I've had more success in getting women to respond to text messages rather than phone calls. This is something I'll have to play around with and weigh the results before I come up with my own standard for dating.
Not sure when I can get out sarging again. I'm still at risk for getting called out to work every evening for then next week and a half, and I've got my 3 year old in tow. I've also got more relatives coming in to visit. However, I've got Saturday night through Tuesday evening next week to get out again. I'll be heading to a much more popular hangout on Saturday and see if I can work the entire bar. That's what I used to do in the good ol' days - meet everyone, chat with everyone, make friends with everyone. I never had a fixed seat or table where I sat. I need to practice doing that again, and leave with a few numbers.
I've got infinite time to get out there and try stuff out again. I suppose I still have a bit of anxiety when it comes to approaching women (especially when they're in groups) which I need to kill off. All in due time. I'm in much better shape than I was when I first started this bootcamp. Monday was fantastic. I've never carried on conversations that well in YEARS!
I was hoping for some decent women at the restaraunt, but it was mostly old people. I did chat for a few seconds with a girl at the drink machine.
My first number close hasn't called back (surprise). I'll call her one more time tomorrow.
My second number close didn't answer the phone, so I left a message. I know that there's a huge consensus on not leaving a message, but as I said in the bootcamp PDF, this isn't rocket science. It's a bloody phone call. I know how to NEXT a woman who has no interest in dating me. However, I think I need to sit down and write a good standard script for leaving a message.
I've been waiting two days between the meet and the call. I may shave it down to the next day. I'm also trying to figure out if I can get texting involved in this. Perhaps a call first, text second, then NEXT. Using text messaging with dating is pretty new to me as it didn't really exist 8 years ago. But within the last year, I've had more success in getting women to respond to text messages rather than phone calls. This is something I'll have to play around with and weigh the results before I come up with my own standard for dating.
Not sure when I can get out sarging again. I'm still at risk for getting called out to work every evening for then next week and a half, and I've got my 3 year old in tow. I've also got more relatives coming in to visit. However, I've got Saturday night through Tuesday evening next week to get out again. I'll be heading to a much more popular hangout on Saturday and see if I can work the entire bar. That's what I used to do in the good ol' days - meet everyone, chat with everyone, make friends with everyone. I never had a fixed seat or table where I sat. I need to practice doing that again, and leave with a few numbers.
I've got infinite time to get out there and try stuff out again. I suppose I still have a bit of anxiety when it comes to approaching women (especially when they're in groups) which I need to kill off. All in due time. I'm in much better shape than I was when I first started this bootcamp. Monday was fantastic. I've never carried on conversations that well in YEARS!
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
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Tomorrow night, I go sarging, and it's about time because I already miss it!
I decided to try out my 'Phone first, text second' idea. Here's how it worked on my first number close:
First, I phoned her and she basically ditched me, being too busy. Not a rejection, just a put-off. She told me she'd call the next day (Wednesday)
Wednesday came and went. Thursday came and went.
I sent her a text today:
"Hey, Des here. You're a BAD GIRL. You didn't call me back. I'm telling your mom!"
She responded about an hour later, telling me she's been busy with work, the neighbor's kid, and her friend Neil.
Neil? Okay, let's have some fun...
"Yeah, excuses, excuses. You just don't want your mome to give you heck. I could do worse and tell MY mom on you! Tell Neil I say hi.
ALWAYS let the potential c0ckblock know you exist. It makes them become more AFC.
I got a response about the neighbor's kid being there tomorrow night and Sunday. Not sure why she's telling me this, as I really couldn't give a damn at this point. But then I remember the words of Dale Carnegie. Nobody gives a 5hit about what you want, they only give a 5hit about what THEY want.
I'm getting a funny feeling that this may possibly be her kid and she's not telling me. That's fine by me since she knows nothing about mine
We'll see where this goes...
I decided to try out my 'Phone first, text second' idea. Here's how it worked on my first number close:
First, I phoned her and she basically ditched me, being too busy. Not a rejection, just a put-off. She told me she'd call the next day (Wednesday)
Wednesday came and went. Thursday came and went.
I sent her a text today:
"Hey, Des here. You're a BAD GIRL. You didn't call me back. I'm telling your mom!"
She responded about an hour later, telling me she's been busy with work, the neighbor's kid, and her friend Neil.
Neil? Okay, let's have some fun...
"Yeah, excuses, excuses. You just don't want your mome to give you heck. I could do worse and tell MY mom on you! Tell Neil I say hi.
ALWAYS let the potential c0ckblock know you exist. It makes them become more AFC.
I got a response about the neighbor's kid being there tomorrow night and Sunday. Not sure why she's telling me this, as I really couldn't give a damn at this point. But then I remember the words of Dale Carnegie. Nobody gives a 5hit about what you want, they only give a 5hit about what THEY want.
I'm getting a funny feeling that this may possibly be her kid and she's not telling me. That's fine by me since she knows nothing about mine
We'll see where this goes...
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 15, 2004
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I've been taking the last little while off the bootcamp. I've had no choice between work, relatives visiting, my kid, and stuff that needs to be done around the house. There's just been no time.
Next week I'm on holidays again, so I'll have the time to go out and get some numbers.
I also fvcked up my first bootcamp number close. Here's what worked with this girl: Phone first, text afterward to build a bit of rapport. However, I asked her out through text messaging. I'd forgotten why it's important to ask her out in person: Even if her IL is a bit on the low side, she will feel inclined to say yes in order to avoid making you feel bad. This works in your favor because the date itself should be used to elevate her IL, initiate kino, and finally go for the kiss close. All my success has come from the first date onward. The period between getting the number and the first date has always been the most difficult transition for me.
On another note, I've been playing around with online dating since I haven't been able to get out and do approaches. It's a whole different ballgame in the online world, but I've got a couple of decent convos going on there.
Next week I'm on holidays again, so I'll have the time to go out and get some numbers.
I also fvcked up my first bootcamp number close. Here's what worked with this girl: Phone first, text afterward to build a bit of rapport. However, I asked her out through text messaging. I'd forgotten why it's important to ask her out in person: Even if her IL is a bit on the low side, she will feel inclined to say yes in order to avoid making you feel bad. This works in your favor because the date itself should be used to elevate her IL, initiate kino, and finally go for the kiss close. All my success has come from the first date onward. The period between getting the number and the first date has always been the most difficult transition for me.
On another note, I've been playing around with online dating since I haven't been able to get out and do approaches. It's a whole different ballgame in the online world, but I've got a couple of decent convos going on there.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
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- 11,639
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I've made a decision with regards to this bootcamp. It's been crystal clear that I'm still suffering with the point between the initial approach and the number close. In other words, the conversation itself. I cannot get from point A to point C without crossing point B. I've never realized how much of a problem I had with conversation until I did this bootcamp.
Now, since this board is heavily focussed on self-improvement, I'm going to take some time off the bootcamp to work on my conversation skills. This is an area of my life that I need to get sorted out. Lacking conversation skills will not only decrease my chances with single women, but it will prevent me from opening doors of opportunity when it comes to other various aspects in my life.
So, the bootcamp is on pause for now. I will be returning to this phase after I do some work on improving this aspect of my personality.
Now, since this board is heavily focussed on self-improvement, I'm going to take some time off the bootcamp to work on my conversation skills. This is an area of my life that I need to get sorted out. Lacking conversation skills will not only decrease my chances with single women, but it will prevent me from opening doors of opportunity when it comes to other various aspects in my life.
So, the bootcamp is on pause for now. I will be returning to this phase after I do some work on improving this aspect of my personality.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
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Don't worry, I'll write an entire post about it once I get what I want out of improving this part of myself.
The first place I started while I was doing the bootcamp is the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It certainly has provided the groundwork on how to converse with people. He lists six ways to make people like you:
1) Become genuinely interested in other people
2) Smile
3) Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
5) Talk in terms of the other man's interest
6) Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely
I found another good place here on sosuave:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=37719
Again, this is the place where my game is suffering the most. I have little to no approach anxiety. While that's all good, I will continue to find myself dateless until I come across a woman who herself is a great conversationalist. That means I'll need to approach 50-100 women before I get anywhere because if there's one thing I've noticed, most women (and much of the human population) are LOUSY conversationalists with strangers. And here I thought I was the only one with this problem! Someone always needs to take the lead when it comes to approaching (we know the man needs to). The same seems to exist when it comes to creating the conversation.
I'm breaking down the elements I need in order to have a good and effective conversation with a stranger (especially women). Again, I'll be posting about it once I've got this 5hit down.
The first place I started while I was doing the bootcamp is the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It certainly has provided the groundwork on how to converse with people. He lists six ways to make people like you:
1) Become genuinely interested in other people
2) Smile
3) Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
5) Talk in terms of the other man's interest
6) Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely
I found another good place here on sosuave:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=37719
Again, this is the place where my game is suffering the most. I have little to no approach anxiety. While that's all good, I will continue to find myself dateless until I come across a woman who herself is a great conversationalist. That means I'll need to approach 50-100 women before I get anywhere because if there's one thing I've noticed, most women (and much of the human population) are LOUSY conversationalists with strangers. And here I thought I was the only one with this problem! Someone always needs to take the lead when it comes to approaching (we know the man needs to). The same seems to exist when it comes to creating the conversation.
I'm breaking down the elements I need in order to have a good and effective conversation with a stranger (especially women). Again, I'll be posting about it once I've got this 5hit down.