Demanding ladies.. Wow.

[BeExcellent]

Dafuq???

She gave you a clear opening to number close and set up a date. Instead, she saw your intent on getting intoxicated with her, and that can translate into trying to sleep with her.

WTF is it with you guys insisting on "getting drinks"? I have NEVER taken a new prospect out for drinks. It's boring and can send the wrong message. I would have taken her up on tennis.

I'm with Des here. You had a perfect date opportunity, one where you get to see her in something short and cute no less, and something where you get to see her exert herself...and you fumbled trying to push for a drinking date. You play tennis with her for Pete's sake. Be glad she's athletic and likes to keep active (that's indicative of a healthy lifestyle). If you decide you don't like her, you still got a good workout. If you decide you do like her then there is a natural segue into flirting (she's got tennis legs, etc.) and naturally getting another date.

Agree that some of y'all need to RELAX and quit being so scripted and so goal oriented.

 

[RickTheToad]

I've met (and eventually dated) women I met in bars where you can't talk because the music is too fvcking loud. The only thing preventing you from turning a tennis date into a lay is YOU.



I get laid on date #4. However, I've never pushed a woman away when she wanted to fvck on date #1, or even date #0. If she gives the green light to go a little faster, step on the fvcking gas pedal.



Correct. You do that AFTER tennis. Invite her out to grab a non-alcoholic beverage, go for a walk somewhere, etc. You need to get used to the idea of grabbing any little opportunity you see and going for it. There is no set list of rules of where and how you're supposed to date a woman. She asks if you want to do something, you go with her, flirt, kino, and turn it into more. She opens the door a crack and you pull it open. Once you get used to the idea of taking advantage of any little opportunity that presents itself, you'll find yourself getting more dates, sometimes more than you can handle.



That's a 5hitty excuse to make up for your missed opportunity. Start with something fun and get to know her along the way. If you find out she's a cvnt, at least you had fun while getting to that point. That is how you avoid wasting time with a woman; you make sure you have fun while meeting and dating them.

Get rid of that mental roadblock of "I'd like to meet her first before having fun". It's a 5hitty excuse and it will prevent you from being successful with women.



If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have asked to play tennis with you. Women won't go out of their way to play tennis with a random dude unless they have a bit of interest in him. You take that little bit of interest and keep feeding her reasons to be more interested. That's how you get a date outside of Tinder, POF and all that other bull5hit.

You do realize it's 96 degrees out and will be this hot for the foreseeable future. There wouldn't be drinks afterwards as we'd both be a stinky sweaty mess.

Respectfully, I disagree with your, @AJ84 an @sazc and @BeExcellent 's responses. Makes little sense in this circumstance. Plus, you cannot bring drinks on a public CT court. It's a 100 fine. Being a stinky person drenched in sweat as a first date, not a very good idea. I have no problem with playing tennis, but being a sweaty mess with friends is one thing, on a first date, not a good idea.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm with Des here. You had a perfect date opportunity, one where you get to see her in something short and cute no less, and something where you get to see her exert herself...and you fumbled trying to push for a drinking date. You play tennis with her for Pete's sake. Be glad she's athletic and likes to keep active (that's indicative of a healthy lifestyle). If you decide you don't like her, you still got a good workout. If you decide you do like her then there is a natural segue into flirting (she's got tennis legs, etc.) and naturally getting another date.

Agree that some of y'all need to RELAX and quit being so scripted and so goal oriented.

Didn't push anything, I offered to meet for drinks to see if I actually even like the lady first, she declined. No prob.

 

[RickTheToad]

Well, nothing is ever black and white. I do agree activities are a great way to build rapport. However, I personally don't like Alpha females who reach out with a suggestion and then *insist* upon it. Sure they can reach out and they can make a suggestions but the 'my way or the highway' stuff doesn't work for me. I've met women recently that changed the meeting place and time because of some [insert a reason] and in the cases where I complied with their request I realized within mins of meeting them they had entitlement issues. One of these women did voluntary work for the homeless and her views on people who didn't volunteer were as if you were a self-absorbed low life, yet it was clear to me that she had this savior image of herself who should be praised and worshiped.

Agreed. I didn't like that my suggestion was turned down and she's setting the date, time and place. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[Desdinova]

You do realize it's 96 degrees out and will be this hot for the foreseeable future. There wouldn't be drinks afterwards as we'd both be a stinky sweaty mess.

Why are you continuing to make excuses for your missed opportunity? Swallow it, tell yourself that you fvcked up, and take the next opportunity that comes your way. That's how you learn. That's how you improve. That's how you end up with women.

 

[RickTheToad]

Why are you continuing to make excuses for your missed opportunity? Swallow it, tell yourself that you fvcked up, and take the next opportunity that comes your way. That's how you learn. That's how you improve. That's how you end up with women.

I disagree. I didn't fvck up anything. Not making excuses, stating the obvious.

 

[HankHill]

We are all happiest when women are in their feminine and men are in their masculine. If a woman you haven't even met comes on head strong in the first few interactions regardless of how nice their suggestion it's a deal breaker for me. Reminds me of my interaction with one woman:

Me: Up for coffee this weekend <-- minimal investment
Her: How about drinks Fri night
Me: Sure, let's save that for round 2
Her: How about Sushi then?
Me: Take care

 

[logicallefty]

Mmmmm. Yeah I don’t think I’d want my first date to involve anything where i would break a sweat. But I’m not against other dates that are active such as a hike in decent weather, mini golf, bowling, and my favorite one of all, ice-skating. Just nothing like tennis where you have to work out so hard. I’d save the tennis for a later one.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Korea is a bit different than Bridgeport, CT.

If you mean diff as in time zones, you would be correct.

Go get baeeeeeees. Drop the excuses. The alternative is **** central and being divorced raped.

Step up or step aside.

 

[AJ84]

Agreed. I didn't like that my suggestion was turned down and she's setting the date, time and place. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

Ok I get the sweaty thing good point. But what happens the next time a girl basically asks you out and you suggest something and she suggests something else? How many women ask you out? How many do you ask out?
She was interested. Instead of being put off by her wanting to play tennis perhaps you could of said “ how bad do you want to sweat in this heat lol. Let’s play ping pong indoors instead I know of a place ...” or something to effect. If she still insisted on playing tennis then yeah there’s a weird tennis fetish happening but you didn’t seem to give her or the situation a chance.
But live, learn and move on. The next time a woman you are interested in takes the intiative as you out, find a way to make it happen, because women don’t ask men out that often. Be flexible for her and maybe she will be ‘flexible’ for you

 

[RickTheToad]

Ok I get the sweaty thing good point. But what happens the next time a girl basically asks you out and you suggest something and she suggests something else? How many women ask you out? How many do you ask out?
She was interested. Instead of being put off by her wanting to play tennis perhaps you could of said “ how bad do you want to sweat in this heat lol. Let’s play ping pong indoors instead I know of a place ...” or something to effect. If she still insisted on playing tennis then yeah there’s a weird tennis fetish happening but you didn’t seem to give her or the situation a chance.
But live, learn and move on. The next time a woman you are interested in takes the intiative as you out, find a way to make it happen, because women don’t ask men out that often. Be flexible for her and maybe she will be ‘flexible’ for you

As strange as it sounds, my bumble message never sent. Said failed to send. So, I sent a new one said sure, let play some tennis. What's your cell so we can setup a time/date when is good for both of us. She replied, I really do not feel comfortable in sending my cell out to someone who I've not met yet or communicated with yet, but I'd still like to play tennis. Hope we can still play.

Huh? You'd go meet me to play tennis at a tennis court where there is not many people around, but not give me your cell? I just replied. Okay. If you change your mind, feel free to message me back. Take care.


Can't win.

 

[Tilex]

I wish I was your in place when she said that.
I would seriously 1-up her like you wouldn't believe.

"Maybe you & I should try out for the Olympics together.
We'll do Tennis, Judo, Wrestling, Track relay, Speed Skating, Ice Hockey, Basketball, Pole Vaulting, and Freestyle Swimming"

 

[HankHill]

As strange as it sounds, my bumble message never sent. Said failed to send. So, I sent a new one said sure, let play some tennis. What's your cell so we can setup a time/date when is good for both of us. She replied, I really do not feel comfortable in sending my cell out to someone who I've not met yet or communicated with yet, but I'd still like to play tennis. Hope we can still play.

Huh? You'd go meet me to play tennis at a tennis court where there is not many people around, but not give me your cell? I just replied. Okay. If you change your mind, feel free to message me back. Take care.


Can't win.

Now this I can understand from her point of view. See she can play tennis (or meet you for drinks etc) and if things don't go well there's no connection. If she gave you the ph# there are lots of stalker type of dudes out there that will incessantly txt or say stupid stuff. Sure you can block them but still they have your ph# which in many cases can be used to do a reverse lookup for address etc. I don't even bother asking them for their ph#s once they have the comfort level they'll usually offer it to me.

Typically I don't even ask for their ph#s once they have enough interest/comfort they usually offer it on their own. Getting a ph# isn't a big deal unless you meet someone in real life.

 

[sazc]

@RickTheToad I just wanted to take a second to point out that 3 females agree that she has interest, otherwise she woudnt have suggested tennis.

I also wanted to take a sec to point out a bit of a weird double standard going on here. As a rule on these boards, a woman who cancels a date but also counteroffers has interest BUT a woman who agrees to a date and then tries to change the proposed outing is a controlling beesh... It doesn't matter that shes clearly interested, she's a controlling beesh, is assumed to lack femininity, and should be dropped, pronto.

To me that feels like self sabotaging behavior. Keep the one around who cancels but suggests meeting up at a later date, drop the one who agrees to meet you but wants to do something different than what was proposed. to me It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to drop one that is interested.

 

[sazc]

As strange as it sounds, my bumble message never sent. Said failed to send. So, I sent a new one said sure, let play some tennis. What's your cell so we can setup a time/date when is good for both of us. She replied, I really do not feel comfortable in sending my cell out to someone who I've not met yet or communicated with yet, but I'd still like to play tennis. Hope we can still play.

Huh? You'd go meet me to play tennis at a tennis court where there is not many people around, but not give me your cell? I just replied. Okay. If you change your mind, feel free to message me back. Take care.


Can't win.

she needs to get a google voice number....

 

[RickTheToad]

Now this I can understand from her point of view. See she can play tennis (or meet you for drinks etc) and if things don't go well there's no connection. If she gave you the ph# there are lots of stalker type of dudes out there that will incessantly txt or say stupid stuff. Sure you can block them but still they have your ph# which in many cases can be used to do a reverse lookup for address etc. I don't even bother asking them for their ph#s once they have the comfort level they'll usually offer it to me.

Typically I don't even ask for their ph#s once they have enough interest/comfort they usually offer it on their own. Getting a ph# isn't a big deal unless you meet someone in real life.

Perhaps, but I do not meet people without a way to contact them. I've done that before and so have a few of my friends, and we've all said it's a bad idea because we've all been stood up before. They just close the match (like this one did after I said take care) and then there is no way to get in contact with her.

@RickTheToad I just wanted to take a second to point out that 3 females agree that she has interest, otherwise she woudnt have suggested tennis.

I also wanted to take a sec to point out a bit of a weird double standard going on here. As a rule on these boards, a woman who cancels a date but also counteroffers has interest BUT a woman who agrees to a date and then tries to change the proposed outing is a controlling beesh... It doesn't matter that shes clearly interested, she's a controlling beesh, is assumed to lack femininity, and should be dropped, pronto.

To me that feels like self sabotaging behavior. Keep the one around who cancels but suggests meeting up at a later date, drop the one who agrees to meet you but wants to do something different than what was proposed. to me It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to drop one that is interested.

As luck would have it, the previous message never sent, so I did agree and still got blocked because she's not comfortable with giving out a phone number. I've received hundreds of phone numbers over the years, this is the firs that refused. She obviously likes to play games, I just will not play them. I did become flexible, and it wasn't enough. Not sure what else I could had done. I had a funny feeling this would happen when she pushed for tennis instead of drinks. Prob. just doing it for attention. I've disabled bumble for the time being. It just seems very low quality ladies on the platform in my area. Or, they like to play these games. Just not worth it.

At one time, online dating was good, now it seems like a cesspool. I was listening to Z100 this morning and the topic was online dating apps. Many are having the same experiences. Even one of the DJ's (lady not man) said with so many options, many just think there's something better coming around the corner. But, they wait too late and all the good people are passing them by as they swipe left because of silly reasons.

 

[logicallefty]

@RickTheToad

I also wanted to take a sec to point out a bit of a weird double standard going on here. As a rule on these boards, a woman who cancels a date but also counteroffers has interest BUT a woman who agrees to a date and then tries to change the proposed outing is a controlling beesh... It doesn't matter that shes clearly interested, she's a controlling beesh, is assumed to lack femininity, and should be dropped, pronto.

To me that feels like self sabotaging behavior. Keep the one around who cancels but suggests meeting up at a later date, drop the one who agrees to meet you but wants to do something different than what was proposed. to me It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to drop one that is interested.

I don't see a problem with it at all.

Woman who cancels and counters likely has a legit excuse for doing so. That's neither a dominant or a feminine action. All humans do this.

Woman who agrees and tries to change the plan, that's a dominant action. Reminds me of the GF I once had who I would meet after work for dinner. If i got to the restaurant first and picked a table she would ALWAYS want to move to a different table than the one I picked or the one they seated me at. After about the 6-7th time of this I was at a restaurant we had previously been to and I purposely sat at the table that she herself picked last time we were there. And sure enough, she wanted to switch tables. Even though last time that table was the one she picked. Controlling and dominant is what this is. If I wanted to date another man I'd date another man, not a woman trying to pretend to be one, which is most women these days.

 

[AttackFormation]

Fvck is wrong with you guys? do you have autism or some kind of other social disorder? one guy can't imagine how tennis could include social interaction, another can't talk to a woman while out on a bike ride. Slow the pace, talk to her at breaks and shorten the play/ride intervals and session, take a walk/sidetrack during breaks and/or after the game/ride to some pond or whatever, do something mischievous like racketing her with the ball when you go to "resume" the game and then keep escalating with her instead of going back to the game. And it's 2018, girls today don't give out their numbers. They give out some form of social media.

 

[HankHill]

I don't see a problem with it at all.

Woman who cancels and counters likely has a legit excuse for doing so. That's neither a dominant or a feminine action. All humans do this.

Woman who agrees and tries to change the plan, that's a dominant action. Reminds me of the GF I once had who I would meet after work for dinner. If i got to the restaurant first and picked a table she would ALWAYS want to move to a different table than the one I picked or the one they seated me at. After about the 6-7th time of this I was at a restaurant we had previously been to and I purposely sat at the table that she herself picked last time we were there. And sure enough, she wanted to switch tables. Even though last time that table was the one she picked. Controlling and dominant is what this is. If I wanted to date another man I'd date another man, not a woman trying to pretend to be one, which is most women these days.

x1,000,000
I was just going to reply making exactly those same points...you saved me the typing.

 

[Dash Riprock]

As strange as it sounds, my bumble message never sent. Said failed to send. So, I sent a new one said sure, let play some tennis. What's your cell so we can setup a time/date when is good for both of us. She replied, I really do not feel comfortable in sending my cell out to someone who I've not met yet or communicated with yet, but I'd still like to play tennis. Hope we can still play.

Huh? You'd go meet me to play tennis at a tennis court where there is not many people around, but not give me your cell? I just replied. Okay. If you change your mind, feel free to message me back. Take care.


Can't win.

I can see OP's point about asking her out for drinks and she counters with tennis, as a man should take the lead and make the plan. I probably wouldn't have taken the tennis offer either. Plus, it's a bad choice for a first date. I DO like drinks for a first date because communication skills are everything and if there's no chemistry it's easy to bail after an hour or less.

So, for me, it IS a flag if the woman starts wanting to change up my plan right away, especially for a first date. It tells me she's bossy, and always has to get her way. Let the man LEAD.

Now, here's where you f*ucked up: It's 2018. People don't like giving out their personal info to people they don't know. REALLY dumb reason to eject. I NEVER give out my personal cell number to OLD or even IRL dates, at least for a few months. I have a Google Voice number with an out of state area code I use. I've met a fair number of women who prefer to communicate via the OLD app until at least after the first date. Nothing wrong with that.

Good luck.