Dedicated to Igetit!. NC to cure flaking. Let's see if I'm DJ enough to run this sh!t

[sageproduct]

Hey guys,

Pardon me for creating another thread, but I think I can share something here that more guys can benefit from who don't want to read a guy's FR journal.

The Girl (Girl #4 in my Journal thread)

18 years old, in her last year at a Catholic all-girls high school. High interest in me but is clearly following some bullsh!t chick advice of "playing hard to get" (there have been some definite tip-offs for this). It's pretty damn transparent to me that she is trying to feign disinterest and is doing such a poor job of it because of her inexperience with guys.

I mean, I'll acknowledge that it's possible that my diagnosis is wrong, and that she's an AW. Which is ok because then I don't want her anyway.

Timeline

Tues 11/20 - Sat 11/24 Message 3 messages back and forth on OKC, get number.

Sun 11/25 15 min phone conversation. 3 major common hobbies, lots in common, she's clearly interested, hook is set, tentative plans for Tuesday night (pending she doesn't have to work)

Tues 11/27 Text during day, she tells me she got called to work but suggests I ask her out again sometime.

I do a light 1 day of NC, reengage on Thurs, 30 min phone conversation. Hook is REALLY set, she obviously likes me. I ask her to come out to where I live (hour away) over the wkend (I had reason to gauge interest as high, so I struck again while the iron was hot). She has family commitments.

I slow down my communication with her.

Sun 12/2 Ask her out via text. She responds immediately, is excited. Plans set for Tues.

Mon 12/3

9:45pm sageproduct I've got to work tomorrow! will you be in town this weekend at all?
9:49 Nahh I'm gonna be out in the city

I ignore her vague counter-offer. Controlling the frame is more important.

My Play

I've got my reasons to believe she's got very high interest. BUT, homegirl's gotta step it up if she wants to roll with me. She could be head over heels for me, but for all I care, this playing hard to get sh!t is gonna get her nowhere.

Indefinite NC, length pending how she plays this. I'm penciling in a good 4-5 days though.

The whole point is for her to think I am LOSING INTEREST, and that she needs to date me ASAP before she loses me.

Caveats to the NC

A CRUCIAL part of this play is to make sure it does NOT come off as me being angry/emotional in reaction to her flaking. Therefore, I have to modify the play a bit. If I go COMPLETELY ghost, she'll know that something's up and that I'm making a play, which will be counterproductive.

So, just like how Igetit! used to say that if you're going NC and she calls you, then you PICK UP BUT DON'T MENTION NOR AGREE TO A DATE. Similarly, I've established too much of a pattern of responsiveness via text to just completely ignore her if she texts me. So, I'll just have to similarly be (very) slow in responding and appear disinterested when she (inevitably) texts me, and DON'T bite on ANY of her baiting for seeing each other.

See, I made the mistake earlier on of giving her a bit too much attention via text. I am just realizing how this hurts me now, as I now need to be more tactful in applying NC.

Thanks to...

Igetit!, if you happen to poke your head in here and see this, this is for you man. 3 years ago you advised me extensively on a NC situation, but it's not til now that I think I'm finally man enough to properly apply it.

Backbreaker, your posts recently have also given me tons of background information and understanding of how the game works, all of which I needed to finally put myself in the right attitude.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Even though I have budding one-itis for her (we have sooooo much in common), I won't hesitate to walk. Because if this doesn't work out in my favor, then I'll know she wasn't who I thought she was anyway.

Updates will be posted.

 

[BeDJ]

I was just checking on the responses to my thread, but I had to respond to this....

1) She wasn't interested and flaked on you Tuesday
2) The HOOK WAS NEVER SET, she flaked on you again over the weekend.
3) 3 Strikes and you still don't think you are out, SHE CANCELLED ON YOU FOR TUESDAY.

You do not or ever did have frame. She CLEARLY is not interested in you. Don't let your ego get in the way.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Don't forget the most important piece of advice: A woman who is passionately interested in you will find ways to maximise her time with you.

That isn't happening here. She's interested in getting attention from you but that's all I'm picking up from her behaviour at this stage.

Good work on not taking the "will you be out" bait. In my experience, many girls ask this to see if it's safe to hit the town with another dude.

As a test, you may want to tell her that you will be out and see how she plays it. I'd put money on her flaking again.

And what's a teenage girl doing on OKC anyway? Surely if she's anywhere decent looking she'd have tonnes of guys to choose from.

I'm calling ATTENTION WH0RE.

 

[Igetit!]

Thanks to...

Igetit!, if you happen to poke your head in here and see this, this is for you man. 3 years ago you advised me extensively on a NC situation, but it's not til now that I think I'm finally man enough to properly apply it.

Wow.....a whole thread in my honor. Well thanks Sage.


I'm still here man. I don't post as much as I used to,but I'm still here. I just do more reading than replying,that's all.


So...it FINALLY started to sink in,huh? Took you three years,lol. It's cool though.


So I take it all this "no contact" business has to do with the info in my signature. Well if you wanna try it out on this girl,have at it,but know this....the chick has to have some interest for it to work.

Also....PURSUE OTHER WOMEN. Don't put your life on hold hoping she'll start acting right so you can date her.


Anyway,it's almost 7 in the morning and I just got off work and am bout to pass out,so I'm outta here. Update this thread man. That way we can take a look and try to help you navigate all the nonsense and games this chick my try to pull.


Anyway,gotta bounce...later.

 

[sageproduct]

She CLEARLY is not interested in you. Don't let your ego get in the way.

Perhaps...we'll find out soon.

That isn't happening here. She's interested in getting attention from you but that's all I'm picking up from her behaviour at this stage.

Although overall I disagree, that is a valid deduction based on the information here, and I have to acknowledge that as a possibility. It's almost always better to underestimate a girl's interest level than overestimate it.

And what's a teenage girl doing on OKC anyway? Surely if she's anywhere decent looking she'd have tonnes of guys to choose from.

Catholic. All-girls. High school.
Ego aside, there have been some subtle cues that she's not an AW and just inexperienced with guys. She doesn't really know how to flirt. When I complimented her on having a charming voice, she was obviously not used to accepting a compliment. Those are just two instances in which I believe an AW would have behaved differently. These subtle clues aside, yes, I believe wholeheartedly the information here points to AW.

I'm still here man. I don't post as much as I used to,but I'm still here. I just do more reading than replying,that's all.

Wooo glad to have you here.

So...it FINALLY started to sink in,huh? Took you three years,lol. It's cool though.

Yeah man haha. I just didn't really have the experience with girls and emotional maturity then to understand what's REALLY at play. I had absorbed all this information here, but it wasn't until this 1 month "relationship" I had last month that I was really able to open my eyes and FINALLY kick the idea of Hollywood romance to the curb.

So I take it all this "no contact" business has to do with the info in my signature. Well if you wanna try it out on this girl,have at it,but know this....the chick has to have some interest for it to work.

It's pretty much exactly the info in your signature, lol.
When she flaked and I knew what I had to do next, it just popped into my head that you had advised the exact same thing before.

Also....PURSUE OTHER WOMEN. Don't put your life on hold hoping she'll start acting right so you can date her.

Finally, I'm in a position where I can actually do this. I have a number that I'm going to hit up this week, as well as another one from a cold approach this weekend that I'm going to try as well. Maybe I'll even have some time for some cold approaching

 

[sageproduct]

It's been 4 days. Think I'm gonna break NC today and send her a casual text, maybe respond once, then call her up tomorrow. I think staying in NC any longer is just going to be fishy and too obvious.

 

[moon goddess]

All this game playing seems like too much work.

The chick could really be working or she's not interested. If she's not interested, NC is not going to work.

 

[sageproduct]

^Yes, this would be too much work, IF I were putting my life on hold just for a chance to date her. I'm not.

Yeah, if she's not interested, she's not interested. I'm not just going to give up, though.

 

[EastWind]

It's obvious to everyone here who is older than you, but you are way too invested in this girl. Your ego is standing in the way of you realizing she doesn't care for you. As you get older you will learn the not-at-all-subtle difference between "lukewarm interest" and "absolutely into you". It's clear you haven't experienced the latter or you wouldn't have created this thread.

That said, this is normal for your age. The over-analyzing a dead and crystal-clear situation. The ego standing in the way. The clinging on to hope.

You could get miles ahead of the competition if you realize that she is not interested in you. If she was, this thread would not exist.

Exit while you can. Don't go "no contact" to "get her interested", delete her from your mental list. She is not an option anymore.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Here's the thing, OP. Igetit says that NC works if the girl has had interest in you, but it's fading...or has interest in you and you'd like to raise it.

You're judging this girl's interest based upon what she SAYS, and not what she DOES. Her ACTIONS will tell you how interested she is. Her words won't tell you anything.

So far all I see is a lot of pleasant conversations and no meet-ups. I don't see any actions that lead me to believe she was ever interested in your d!ck.

As for me, I have been doing heavy NCing on an ex of mine. Bad idea? Probably. But I'm approaching it as a learning experience. It's working pretty well so far. I haven't invited her over yet, so I'm not claiming it works yet.

In a way, though, I've already won with NC. She is begging for my attention, and I do what I please. I make the rules again. We will see how it goes.

 

[ARrocket]

NC until the weekend.

Then...

"yo plans changed, I'm gonna be in your area pretty soon. Let's meet."

AKA one final (probably) attempt

 

[perseverance]

There's nothing to suggest that this girl is intersted in you. I think you're barking up the wrong tree here.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Most everyone here has said to you what I would say. So, all I'll add are the following:

1. When they like you, they find ways to make time for you; when they don't, they find reasons NOT to make time for you.

2. The phone works both ways. And girls talk on the phone way more than guys do. If she wants to see you, she has the ability to hit you up.

3. Running no contact isn't being a DJ, especially on a girl that doesn't want you like that. Being a DJ means being able to read a situation and figure out the best plan of action, whether it's to continue perusing a chick or realizing she's not interested and letting it go. Stopping your pursuit of her would be more DJ than what you're doing now.

Hope this helps!

 

[sageproduct]

Well, it sucks, but it looks like you guys are probably right. Sent her a text yesterday, no response, called her today, left voicemail, no nothing. Mother****er I was so sure about this one.

Anyway, the good update is that I just got home from a few hours of sarging, and I returned with NINE numbers! I know that's not huge in a general sense, but for me, I've never gotten more than 2-3 numbers in a day. Long report, but it's significant enough for me to shamelessly self-promote. Link here.

 

[BeDJ]

Sent her a text yesterday, no response, called her today, left voicemail, no nothing.

God damn

Stop being so desperate. For the 9 numbers, do the complete opposite of what you did to this poor chick.

 

[sageproduct]

Lolol. Talk about irony. 1 minute after my previous post, she called me. We talked for about 25 min and got disconnected. She's asking me a lot of questions, suggested a day for when we can meet up, said she would ditch her friends to hang out with me...

Let's not close the book on this just yet...Just called her back again, looks like her phone died.

 

[sageproduct]

8:08pm hey sorry my phone died! &my parents just got home
8:17 Haha, yes cuz our conversation was so dirty you don't want your parents to hear it
8:17 hah well they wouldve wanted to know how i met u
8:18 Lolz. To me, franks not such a bad guy
8:21 HE'S A VERY BAD MAN
8:23 Well if he's what is keeping you from getting messaged by 20+ random dudes a day (aka competition)..I'll have to say I'm pro-Frank
8:29 I just like reading different peoples bios! you sure about that though? pro frank is a serious label to give yourself
8:31 Hello I'm ________ I like watching tv, sports, hanging out. Looking for a cool girl to chill with. I have a good job and am motivated in my goals. Message me and we can talk!
8:32 hahaha not ones like that
8:34 Wait so you actually read my profile? I was fairly certain it was my greek god body and brad pitt-level handsomeness that intrigued you enough to respond and not my personality
8:36 no it was completely your profile! I loved the fake convo thing
8:37 Awwwwwwe gee thx sweetie pie. It ws my way of screening for someone who has a sense of humor
8:38 Wait so you also think I'm ugly then :0
8:40 no youre cute! I just didn't look at your pictures until later
8:41 Ohh thx now I'm blushing
8:46 aw. you're so bashful
8:48 Hahh. Let's resume this love tomorrow time to study..pce out girl scout
8:59 alright study hard!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

As soon as I read "OKCupid" I knew this was going to be a waste of time. A chick online could care less if you go NC. Why? She'll have 100 other dudes that week hitting her up and you'll be forgotten.

 

[sageproduct]

She deleted her profile a week ago

 

[dap]

Is the above a txt message log? Either way, you are putting in WAY too much effort. Your messages are twice as long as hers. I don't believe that texting necessarily kills attraction (some do), but THIS kind of texting certainly does. An entire hour spent typing paragraphs as she gives one sentence responses? It makes you look so available. Give her a few txts and that's it. If she wants more she will have to meet up with you sometime.

Let her have the longer texts. Let her double text before you respond. Cut her off after a couple. You don't have all goddamń day to wait by your phone. Ur busy hunting bears, meeting girls, and depositing checks.

EDIT: just read some more of your posts. You txted then called then left a message yesterday? When she finally returns your call, rather than retaking the frame by keeping things brief (ur busy and haven't even met this girl) u give her 25 minutes of your time? And then as soon as that's over you try to call her back to find that "her phone is dead"? And then that is when u start texting/IMing or whatever? Look at how much you are investing in this girl (and she knows it). How much is SHE investing in YOU? This isn't NC, this is full court press contact. And for a girl that was never interested in the first place!