Dealing with disrespect on first date

[LMFAO]

Went out with an HB9 this week to a bar. 10 minutes before the date was supposed to take place she said she's really sorry but she misunderstood the gps transport planning app on her phone and she's going to be late and apologised again. I thought OK then if she's a little late and she informs me no big deal I suppose. The rationalisation in my head is that she's really hot and that I'll make an exception.

Walked around a bit in the city and then went to the bar and had a drink while waiting. 30 minutes later I got a phone call from her saying she's arrived in the area and just walking down there, see you in 2 minutes.

Nothing for 5 minutes, at this point I was really debating whether to walk and go home. Then 15 minutes later she called me to say she couldn't find the place in a massive panic and that she asked passers by and no one knew. I walked outside and waved at her. She apologised. I asked her if she parked nearby, she said no she took a train (which takes all of 20 minutes and you'd have to be a total idiot to mess it up - on reflection it sounds like she didn't leave the house until basically the time the date was set on).

Had a couple of rounds of drinks with her, she was very flirty and had a good time although when it came round to the bill she wouldn't even offer to pay. Kissed her goodnight though she wouldn't go for a deep kiss. A closed kiss on the lips which was fvcking bizzare. Texted her a couple of days later, and guess what she's gone ghost. Surprise surprise. I know no one in her social circle so nothing to lose, so I texted her this beauty: "I didn't know it was possible to be as late to responding to a text as to that date, but seems like it is".

Moral of the story:
1) Girls are quite often late to dates, but if it's over 20 minutes then I'm off whether they tell me in advance or not they are running late I don't give a fvck. Even if it's the hottest girl in the world.
2) Not rewarding a girl with a kiss for bad behaviour.
3) Cutting the date shorter than the 2 hours wasted with her. It's too long for a first date. One and an half hours tops.

 

[.Bing.]

Went out with an HB9

:crackup: An HB9

she took a train

Can't she drive? Don't take any disrespect or contact girls who go ghost.

 

[Jaylan]

Wait a minute....so she was almost an hour late and you waited around?

I would have left after waiting 15 minutes, and told her to reschedule when she was actually free. And Id put it across in a way that let's her know I have no problem if things didnt work out.

The only way in hell a girl could get me to wait longer nowadays is if we had previous dates and some rapport already built. And then Id have her make it up to me by getting the first round.

In summary...dont excuse bad behavior...especially not on a first meet,

 

[Bingo-Player]

Im almost 100% this chick was purely out for the free ride ( drinks)

It wouldn’t at all surprise me if she has a guy for each day of the week to supply dates none of which she has any intention of sleeping with

The no tongues kissing is fvcking outright rude combined with the unexplainable need for her to go ghost only reinforces my theory

I liked the whitty text you sent whilst she was ghosting I’m guessing she didn’t reply ?

At the very least you forced her to acknowledge her own ignorance i doubt it will make much difference as this chick clearly has no conscience

To be honest chicks like this who have no connection to any of my social circles i would be inclined to abuse via text until she blocked me

Have fun

 

[LMFAO]

Around 40 minutes yes. She was very hot otherwise there's no way in hell I would have waited, that said it really shouldn't matter. All guys think like that and that's why really hot girls think they can get away with any sort of behaviour and have this entitlement.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I'll go against the grain here and say she wasn't really disrespecting you. People are late for all sorts of reasons, and usually because they got lost. Women are not good map-readers and often lack the spatial awareness to distinguish their ar$e from their elbow.

Personally I would happily wait an hour for a woman to show and just entertain myself in the intervening time. Possibly even longer if it was obvious she was on her way, and/or stressed about being late for you. That being said, I don't really adhere to a particularly strict schedule of my own, so it comes down to personal preference I suppose.

Getting all het-up about her not showing up on the dot, to me, demonstrates a bit of neediness, lack of patience and possibly insecurity about the situation. It's a date, not a business meeting.

"I didn't know it was possible to be as late to responding to a text as to that date, but seems like it is".

I don't really understand who/what you are referring to in that text, so there is a good chance she didn't either. Either way it seems like you are failing her first test.

 

[LMFAO]

Im almost 100% this chick was purely out for the free ride ( drinks)

It wouldn’t at all surprise me if she has a guy for each day of the week to supply dates none of which she has any intention of sleeping with

The no tongues kissing is fvcking outright rude combined with the unexplainable need for her to go ghost only reinforces my theory

I liked the whitty text you sent whilst she was ghosting I’m guessing she didn’t reply ?

At the very least you forced her to acknowledge her own ignorance i doubt it will make much difference as this chick clearly has no conscience

To be honest chicks like this who have no connection to any of my social circles i would be inclined to abuse via text until she blocked me

Have fun

She's a lawyer and was acting on the date like she was already in love with me. Giving many flirty lines, like asking me if I've been a bad boy this year, laughing and joking. Always smiling and leaning forward. Really seeming to enjoy it. I genuinely never experienced anything like that, even from girls I've dated in long term relationships. It was too good to be true, and it was. Of course when the tab came out she didn't whisper a word.

When I went for the kiss and she did the closed mouth thing, I told her now open wide. She laughed and said you'd have to excuse me for now. I told her no I won't excuse her and she just laughed out loud and she gave me a playful kiss on the cheek.

I would agree that texting her after her going ghost is not always a bad strategy even if just to make yourself feel better. Most pua disagree with this notion, and feel that it's coming from a weak position and should just go no contact. I think calling a girl on her bullsh*t is perfectly fine if put in the right frame. I'd be surprised if she received many messages like that before, most guys are probably scared of her and would do anything to be with her. If she has no connection to your social circle it's fine, and she can't ruin anything as you won't be going out with any of her friends.

 

[Partizan]

Meh. I've been late to or have cancelled dates before for legitimate reasons. I'm sure women have this problem as well considering they are human beings with lives. It seems like she gave you notice and communicated with you throughout.

What's the bad behavior here?

 

[LMFAO]

There's no hard and fast rule on a girl being late to a date. I suppose we should be setting up our own rules.

If you were 40 minutes late to a date (because you left the house just around the time you're supposed to be somewhere and made some bulls*** excuse that you don't know the way when she's been there 100 times before) do you really think an hb9 would happily wait there, drinking by herself and then spend 2 hours with you? Then just shrug when you go ghost on her not even saying thanks or anything despite her paying 40 dollars for the drinks?

Unlikely isn't it, so why should we be treated like worthless s**ts and not even consider it disrespectful?

It is rude behaviour and she could have just been upfront and said I'm really sorry I could only leave now and it would be another 40 minutes or so, would it OK for you to wait or reschedule for another time? Instead of saying every 15 minutes she's coming soon and lying out of her teeth.

 

[ColonelKilgore]

You failed, my friend. You waited way to long. Basically you showed her that you dont value your time. 40 minutes late. That is rude. And then you payed for the drinks.

I think you'll be hearing from her again when she wants a couple of free drinks.

 

[RangerMIke]

Your biggest mistake was texting her knowing she got under your skin. She doesn't care that she ticked you off because her lack of respect showed that she didn't care. How can she care if she doesn't care. She's probably showing your text to her friends and laughing about it. Don't get ticked off ALL women so this.

You send a woman a text and trust me all her friends see it. They are always trying to decifer stuff we send them.

The next mistake you made is treating this woman different because she was a HB9. If you really wanted to get her attention after she was 30 minutes late call and tell her you ran into friends and you went to another bar tell her where it is and invite her to join. Then adopt an attitude that she is not showing and talk to other women. If she walks in while you are hitting on another woman so much the better.

The problem with a HB9 is that we men.... by being so accomodating trained her to behave this way. She acts like this because she always gets away with it. Don't blame her.

 

[LMFAO]

Your biggest mistake was texting her knowing she got under your skin. She doesn't care that she ticked you off because her lack of respect showed that she didn't care. How can she care if she doesn't care. She's probably showing your text to her friends and laughing about it. Don't get ticked off ALL women so this.

You send a woman a text and trust me all her friends see it. They are always trying to decifer stuff we send them.

Wouldn't say that's my biggest mistake considering she rejected me already with the ghosting. It's not something I usually do but it was worth the exception to her being a b!tch. Whether her friends see it I don't give a sh!t. They will rationalise anything, yet know there's probably something wrong with her if she keeps failing with guy despite being an hb9 in her early 30s.

The next mistake you made is treating this woman different because she was a HB9. If you really wanted to get her attention after she was 30 minutes late call and tell her you ran into friends and you went to another bar tell her where it is and invite her to join. Then adopt an attitude that she is not showing and talk to other women. If she walks in while you are hitting on another woman so much the better.

The problem with a HB9 is that we men.... by being so accomodating trained her to behave this way. She acts like this because she always gets away with it. Don't blame her.

Completely agree.

 

[skinnyguy]

Went out with an HB9 this week to a bar. 10 minutes before the date was supposed to take place she said she's really sorry but she misunderstood the gps transport planning app on her phone and she's going to be late and apologised again. I thought OK then if she's a little late and she informs me no big deal I suppose. The rationalisation in my head is that she's really hot and that I'll make an exception.

Walked around a bit in the city and then went to the bar and had a drink while waiting. 30 minutes later I got a phone call from her saying she's arrived in the area and just walking down there, see you in 2 minutes.

Nothing for 5 minutes, at this point I was really debating whether to walk and go home. Then 15 minutes later she called me to say she couldn't find the place in a massive panic and that she asked passers by and no one knew. I walked outside and waved at her. She apologised. I asked her if she parked nearby, she said no she took a train (which takes all of 20 minutes and you'd have to be a total idiot to mess it up - on reflection it sounds like she didn't leave the house until basically the time the date was set on).

Had a couple of rounds of drinks with her, she was very flirty and had a good time although when it came round to the bill she wouldn't even offer to pay. Kissed her goodnight though she wouldn't go for a deep kiss. A closed kiss on the lips which was fvcking bizzare. Texted her a couple of days later, and guess what she's gone ghost. Surprise surprise. I know no one in her social circle so nothing to lose, so I texted her this beauty: "I didn't know it was possible to be as late to responding to a text as to that date, but seems like it is".

Moral of the story:
1) Girls are quite often late to dates, but if it's over 20 minutes then I'm off whether they tell me in advance or not they are running late I don't give a fvck. Even if it's the hottest girl in the world.
2) Not rewarding a girl with a kiss for bad behaviour.
3) Cutting the date shorter than the 2 hours wasted with her. It's too long for a first date. One and an half hours tops.

You're just a plate to her. She probably has 30 guys better than you on speed dial.

If you want to meet a girl at 7, tell her to be there at 5.

 

[pyros]

See this, nobody, not an HB8, not an HB4, not your mother, not your neighbour or your buddy arrives to a meeting 15 or more minutes late 'cause he/she got lost'. If we're talking about adults, nobody gets lost in his own city when they have to meet someone.

If they are interested in meeting you, they check the map a day or two before, check the public transport schedule, make sure their car has gas...etc etc...which is , by the way, the same you would do if you were meeting someone you're interested in. Common sense.

If I read again that 'women are not good at reading a map...' I will terminate him. This IS JUST PLAIN STUPID. If they want to meet you, they will make sure to get there on time.
Do you think they would get lost if it was a job interview? they wouldn't right?

From personal experience, if any girl is arriving more than 20 minutes late, you just leave without letting her know.

This accomplishes several things:

a) They get the point that they should not mess with you (make you wait, make you waste your time, toy with you...etc)
b) They understand that you're not THAT interested. (no pedestals for you honey)
c) You get to spend your time doing something productive instead of waiting for some stupid s-lut.

This happens because 1- she's a stupid not interested wh-ore, and 2- you're too desperate.

P.S.

There was this chick whom I went on three dates. First date she arrived 30 minutes late, and as in your case, she texted me to let me know she was 15 minutes late. Then she finally arrived 30 minutes late.
On our second date I waited for her at home for 1 hour. She texted me twice giving me some bull-sh-it excuses to tell me that she missed the bus...blah blah...then, at 1.5 hours late I left my place and went to the gym and ignored her calls for the rest of the evening.
She got upset (can you believe it?) via text, and I just told her that nobody arrives more than 15 minutes late if the are respectful.

Then on the next two dates she arrive 10 minutes late, and I banged her both times. After this chick I decided not to wait for any b-itch anymore unless we've had several dates and she has a legitimate excuse.

 

[Desdinova]

when it came round to the bill she wouldn't even offer to pay.

First dates are always crapshoots. I generally expect to spend money on the bytch. If she offers to pay half or more, she wins points. I plan our second date according to how/if she pays for things.

Kissed her goodnight though she wouldn't go for a deep kiss.

The point of a first kiss is to break more sexual tension and move things to another level. You cannot jump over the steps required to get her into bed. It doesn't matter if the kiss is open or closed mouth. Some women don't like open mouth kissing. Don't judge her solely on this.

Texted her a couple of days later, and guess what she's gone ghost.

You waited a couple of days? She's seeing you as low interest. Once you get the ball rolling, keep it rolling. Women are extremely fickle at the beginning of the relationship. Remember, she has lots of options. Putting in a bit more effort will help secure her IL in place.

 

[LMFAO]

I'm still confused whether she was into me and I fvcked it up or she wasn't interested at all and played me from start to finish. I suppose I shouldn't give a sh!t either way but I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and I have more dates lined up.

In the future after kissing a girl, especially a really hot one, I will just text or call her the next day. I left it one day longer this time as I was confused about the finish.

I tend to get kisses with tongue on the first date and playfully told her to open wide (for a proper kiss). She kissed me straight on the lips and took a step back. Maybe I should have just left it and not said anything, smiled not giving a sh!t and said goodnight.

I agree with the lateness thing, anyone over 20 minutes won't be getting any contact until she's texting and calling in a spin and see if she gets the message for a date another time.

 

[pyros]

I'm still confused whether she was into me and I fvcked it up or she wasn't interested at all and played me from start to finish. I suppose I shouldn't give a sh!t either way but I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and I have more dates lined up.

In the future after kissing a girl, especially a really hot one, I will just text or call her the next day. I left it one day longer this time as I was confused about the finish.

I tend to get kisses with tongue on the first date and playfully told her to open wide (for a proper kiss). She kissed me straight on the lips and took a step back. Maybe I should have just left it and not said anything, smiled not giving a sh!t and said goodnight.

I agree with the lateness thing, anyone over 20 minutes won't be getting any contact until she's texting and calling in a spin and see if she gets the message for a date another time.

do not worry. When this happens 90% of the time it is because the girl had medium to low interest to begin with (and this is probably why she came so late). She probably has more options and she just prefers another option.

If you go to buy a t-shirt, and you see a dozen t-shirts you probably like a few of them, ones more than others. When you choose one you try to select the best for you, but it does not mean you did not like other t-shirts too right? same here.

 

[Masculinity]

Don't give a woman special treatment because of her attractiveness. Have set rules that you follow and actually enforce them on yourself (e.g., leave if a woman is over 15 min late - no exceptions).

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Some good responses here, but this is the best one:

Your biggest mistake was texting her knowing she got under your skin. She doesn't care that she ticked you off because her lack of respect showed that she didn't care. How can she care if she doesn't care. She's probably showing your text to her friends and laughing about it. Don't get ticked off ALL women so this.

You send a woman a text and trust me all her friends see it. They are always trying to decifer stuff we send them.

The next mistake you made is treating this woman different because she was a HB9. If you really wanted to get her attention after she was 30 minutes late call and tell her you ran into friends and you went to another bar tell her where it is and invite her to join. Then adopt an attitude that she is not showing and talk to other women. If she walks in while you are hitting on another woman so much the better.

The problem with a HB9 is that we men.... by being so accomodating trained her to behave this way. She acts like this because she always gets away with it. Don't blame her.

She does get away with it, always. Guys will wait for her, they'll buy her drinks, they'll do ANYTHING for her within their means. If you were cool with waiting, that's fine, but at least switching the venues shows some gusto. You didn't like that other place, you were bored, nobody cool to talk to, so, YOU decided to leave. YOU were going to have fun one way or another. YOUR night was NOT dependent on her. If she wanted to come along for the ride, it's her choice, either way, you were going to be alright.

And, RangerMike is exactly right about those texts. They LOVE to show their gf's the angry texts of "boys" that get pissed off at them. It's a badge of honor. Just don't do it. You may have thought you got her back, but you didn't. You just fueled her ego.

Don't give a woman special treatment because of her attractiveness. Have set rules that you follow and actually enforce them on yourself (e.g., leave if a woman is over 15 min late - no exceptions).

This is another option. This shows that you aren't going to put up with her $hit, right off the bat. Her being late could be a $hit test she does to everyone. She's just waiting for the guy who's not going to put up with it i.e. an Alpha

 

[VladPatton]

Next time wait for your date to arrive (late). Be happy to see her when she finally shows up, and then cancel the date right there as you look her in the face. "Glad you made it, but I have to go now...I'll call you...see ya".

And you just leave her there standing in the street. More powerful than any text or ghost tactic. She just wasted your time AND hers with nothing to show for it.