David DeAngelo's Inner Game Programs

[white cloud 8]

Hi,

I am just curious what people here think of David DeAngelo's Inner Game Programs? As I am still choosing fear of approaching girls.

On Being A Man: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/e/16974/OnBeingAMan/

Deep Inner Game: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/16973/DeepInnerGame/index.asp?s=16973&e=1&z=562135

Is it worthwhile to get these if your inner game is weak? Opinions please?

 

[white cloud 8]

Okay, so it looks like many people here do *NOT* like David DeAngelo..lol If either of these are any good or if people could make recommendations of other books/CDs/DVDs it would be much appreciated. For myself personally, it is mostly fear and working on my inner game because once you have a strong foundation of principles only then can you understand more advanced techniques.

 

[everywomanshero]

David Denagelo will not likely make approaching women any easier. This is an extremely common anxiety in many cultures. Just know all the other guys are going out and getting drunk to try overcoming it.. you are better than that!

As far as for help overcoming approach anxiety, there is programs for overcoming social anxiety that will help, and I think BadBoy's CDs are good. They give you the best structure with a great explanation (different spin) on existing PU theory without bogging you down with details. Badboys CDs would be the best for you because it calls for immediate action in small steps and doesn't give you excuses to use like "I have to listen to 4 hours of PU rhetoric tonight" instead of going out. That's what I recommend to you. If you can, it's best to go out alone. I like malls. Wingmen can be OK just watch out for the bad ones who talk you out of approaching or barge into sets and screw them up on a regular basis. You should use accomplishment intros if a wingman will be entering a group. Do not have wingmen enter a situation where you are with a lone wolf, I see this happen and it doesn't make any sense, a high 5 in passing and a brief stop to give social proof might, two guys gaming one girl when the other guy was already doing fine isn't a technique, it's a distraction.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

David Denagelo is full of ****. he is a salesman! he shapes his teachings around what will bring in the most amount of customers.

Do you think he would dare admit you have to be good looking? hell no! if he did that, he would cut his customer audiannce in half. only decent to better looking guys would buy his stuff. the ugly ones would just be like "****, no point in buying dating material now"

 

[hydrocodone]

DOWNLOAD THEM! do not waste your money on this ****. if you must have it then use bit torrent. you'll find most of DD's and Mystery's stuff on there.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'd use the dating gurus to learn about women but as for personal anxieties I would look toward someone more learned about general social phobias. None the less, I still say that David D's original DYD is a good cornerstone for learning about women. Does his subsequent work merit consideration? I don't know, DYD gave me enough insight into what it was meant to teach.

 

[Freddy1]

With his inner game stuff. Its alot of fluff talk with a few gold nuggets of useful information.
I would go for cognitive therapy instead and work it out of your system slowly. (He touches alittle bit on cognitive therapy in the DVDs but you can already find info on cognitive therapy already in books without needing to cough up so much cash.)
You could also get a a referal from your doctor for beta blockers (antidepressents) to help you over come anxiety.
I would also recomend you work on your body language skills. It does help with developing your courage. Just make sure to ground you self more by bending your knees alittle when approaching. The feeling of anxiety wont be high up in the chest as much.

 

[white cloud 8]

What do people think of the Conversation King? Does it really have anything really ground-breaking or just your run-of-the-mill material?

http://www.conversation-king.com/?hop=djcenter#

 

[donovan]

Approaching women is not a real "inner game" issue. It has more to do with LACK of practice and context.

You're obviously going to feeling anxiety when you're running across the road or approaching a woman in between 10 guys. That's probably not what you're worried about.

Build your social circle, talk and be friends with girls in them, then talk and befriend everyone you meet. That helps tremedously.

The only cure is practice. Sorry no amount of money on programs will fix it.

 

[donovan]

With his inner game stuff. Its alot of fluff talk with a few gold nuggets of useful information.
I would go for cognitive therapy instead and work it out of your system slowly. (He touches alittle bit on cognitive therapy in the DVDs but you can already find info on cognitive therapy already in books without needing to cough up so much cash.)
You could also get a a referal from your doctor for beta blockers (antidepressents) to help you over come anxiety.
I would also recomend you work on your body language skills. It does help with developing your courage. Just make sure to ground you self more by bending your knees alittle when approaching. The feeling of anxiety wont be high up in the chest as much.

Not true. All of David Deangelo's materials are very good. Don't use anti-depressents. Are you ****ing crazy? Who is this guy?

 

[donovan]

David Denagelo is full of ****. he is a salesman! he shapes his teachings around what will bring in the most amount of customers.

Do you think he would dare admit you have to be good looking? hell no! if he did that, he would cut his customer audiannce in half. only decent to better looking guys would buy his stuff. the ugly ones would just be like "****, no point in buying dating material now"

The more I get into this game the more I realize that David has it worked out.

 

[Bonhomme]

DYD is not bad, except for way, way, way too much emphasis on his "****y and funny" shtick, which is not for everybody, and can damage your game more then it helps if not done right.

If you do get any David D stuff, repeat the following mantra until it's burned hard into your mind and you hear it in your sleep: "Do not try to be ****y and funny, but run with it when it flows naturally."

 

[Doggystyle]

What do people think of the Conversation King? Does it really have anything really ground-breaking or just your run-of-the-mill material?

http://www.conversation-king.com/?hop=djcenter#

Nothing you can buy is ground breaking

 

[white cloud 8]

Nothing you can buy is ground breaking

Thank you for that piece of advice. If it doesn't come from within you, well then...

 

[white cloud 8]

It looks like the only way around this is to go and do it. There are no fixed 'right' ways but, there are 'better' ways. I have wasted ALOT of time in not approaching all of those attractive girls over the years. Nobody is stopping me from talking to them, the girl isn't, my friends aren't, I am. I am trying to get my head around it that if I just start doing it (laying down my pride) that it won't be uncomfortable anymore but, this really has to stop...NOW!

 

[Freddy1]

Not true. All of David Deangelo's materials are very good.

Which David DeAngelo material are you refering to. Lets go through them.
For example "Mastery With Women" does he even needs to go through what he refers as the "mail bag" and pulls out some of the letters people have wrote to him. Its fluff talk. Its not even relevent to the subject in hand. From vol 1-5 alot of can be found in self help books. Infact nearly the entire "The Inner Game" series can be bolied down to cognitive therapy (in which he does briefly mentions coginitive therapy in the series) with some self improvement stuff found in other books.
I think Mystery has his stuff put down alot better.

Don't use anti-depressents. Are you ****ing crazy? Who is this guy?

Do you have any medical knowledge on social anxiety and social phobia?
I personal do know it is mental medical condition that can be treated by a psychiatrist with medication if its severe enough. (And yes antidepressents are used to treat anxiety/phobia disorders). Infact I know some people who has social phobia/anxiety conditions. So I do have some clout to talk about it.

"Who is this guy?" Maybe I should be asking that.

 

[Freddy1]

It looks like the only way around this is to go and do it. There are no fixed 'right' ways but, there are 'better' ways. I have wasted ALOT of time in not approaching all of those attractive girls over the years. Nobody is stopping me from talking to them, the girl isn't, my friends aren't, I am. I am trying to get my head around it that if I just start doing it (laying down my pride) that it won't be uncomfortable anymore but, this really has to stop...NOW!

If you condition is severe enough talk to your doctor. He can give you a referal for congnitive therapy treatment (or you can find info on the web about it).
(I dont recomend certain hard shock exposure therapy. This could make your condition worst if you dont succeed.)
There are also certain medications that has been succesfully been used to treat severe anxiety. Just speak to your doctor.
According to a psychologist I know he says most phobias can go away after being exposed for it for about 1/2 hour straight. Use the cognitive approach. Start off the minor anxities first and work yourself up form there. Just start off bit by bit until you get rid of it. DONT RUSH whatever you do.

 

[white cloud 8]

If you condition is severe enough talk to your doctor. He can give you a referal for congnitive therapy treatment (or you can find info on the web about it).
(I dont recomend certain hard shock exposure therapy. This could make your condition worst if you dont succeed.)
There are also certain medications that has been succesfully been used to treat severe anxiety. Just speak to your doctor.
According to a psychologist I know he says most phobias can go away after being exposed for it for about 1/2 hour straight. Use the cognitive approach. Start off the minor anxities first and work yourself up form there. Just start off bit by bit until you get rid of it. DONT RUSH whatever you do.

I don't need medication, I am just afraid, scared of rejection which hasn't happened, lazy, and I choose fear because I find it comfortable. Everything has a choice, life is a choice. I can change all of that just from choosing if I want to better my situation and be on my way to a better way of living. Right now, I am not living a fulfilling life, plain and simple.

 

[everywomanshero]

I doubt that the fear of rejection is really what's causing you to not approach. You risk rejection when you apply for a job or ask to borrow a pencil, yet you do this things with impunity. The problem is the guilt, shame, and self-blame placed on having to approach a woman. If you can change the way you think about what;s going on, it should help.

You are a guy. You know women usually don't approach guys extremely directly. You know women don't approach guys at all unless there is something interesting about him. If women NEVER sit by you or NEVER place themselves in your proxemity, then you will beyond any shadow of a doubt need to both approach women and continiously work on appearance/being interesting. There is nothing abnormal about this. The problem is (likely) that you are too normal. So if you are normal and need to approach lots of women, then why feel guilty? What is there to feel guilty about by being normal? It would be abnormal for you not to approach. Feel guilty for not approaching if you must, but certainly don't feel guilty for doing something completely normal (approaching women you *might* *possibly* be interested in IF (and only if) they turn out to be interesting and have excellent teeth, hair, skin, and interpersonal skills. Approaching doesn't signal you're interested, approaching signals an outside chance that you could possible have the remotest interest in her. If she does anything you feel removes that fleeting chance of interest, then she has failed your test. On to the next one! I don't follow up on dozens of approaches per week because I am happy with my LTR. Do you know how many women are out there right now wondering why I didn't follow up after it seemed to be going so well? Why do you think women are always frustrated and saying all the good ones are taken or worrying about their looks to get approached more??? The bar is set incredibly low, add to that guys like me who are taken get their hopes up only to be let down and find out we're taken all the time, and you have a bunch of frustrated women who are lucky to be approached at all by a guy who is even moderately cool, not a (borderline) street begger, and available.

 

[Freddy1]

..The problem is the guilt, shame, and self-blame placed on having to approach a woman.

Man you always hit important points!

I think Everywomanshero hit it on the head!!!