Dating outside of one's own race...

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I pride myself in being able to understand a person's motivation to do something even if it's not necessarily of my character. However I have yet to completely understand the attraction of an individual to define him/herself by being a member of a particular group.

This goes beyond culture but includes also religion and political stance. Is it the feeling of acceptance from a collective (hello Star Trek fans), is there a connection with their purpose in life? Could it just be the amusement of separatism and exclusion? To some it seems as if their very existence is dependent on it. I just don't get it.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by sexualchocolate


i live in the south and have had a 5 yr old make a racist remark to me. and his dad just stood there. racism is taught.

one time when my son was three he went to a neighbors apartment to play with her little girls that were about the same age. he knocked on the door and their father said "that little white boy is here again" (they were black)
my son came home crying and i said whats wrong and he said "you didnt tell me i was white, i didnt know!"

not everyone teaches their children to know the difference between white and black. i was under the impression that by the time my children are grown, there will be some white kids, some black kids and more kids that were mixed between the two. perhaps it is just because i live in the south i dont know.

 

[tristan22]

http://www.oudaily.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/10/12/434c8ccec38a8

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

I used to hang out with this black girl (I'm white) who I thought was absolutely gorgeous (I was involved, so nothing doing). When we went places, more than once we overheard comments, as folks just assumed we were a couple. Pissed us both off, but those folks were just showing their ignorance and were summarily ignored. Still, I was surprised this happened, as I saw mixed couples all the time and never thought twice about it.

My advice would be to keep seeing her, despite Grandma's wishes. I made the mistake once of passing on a truly great girl due to external influences (not the gal mentioned above BTW), and regretted it ever since. I'd hate to see you make the same mistake. If Grandma did find out, and she threatened to kick you out, I'd bet that talking to your GF (if she would be OK with it) would help a lot. I bet she'd see why you like her really quickly, despite her voiced opionions........

 

[sexualchocolate]

for the record KB i was just being silly, for the most part. I am in know way shape or form a racist.

i am only prejudice of people who try to hurt others. Im all for doing whatever the heck you want just so long as you are not bringing others down.

I actually have more white friends than black.

Now i guess ur gonna tell me u have "A" black friend. And u cant believe how well mannered he is. Heard it all before.

I work in heating & cooling and have to go to peoples houses to troubleshoot.

Then out of nowhere, i hear " i know a black man and he was so nice." Then end up saying something totally racist. Even had whites calling in telling flat out lies to my manager trying to get me fired.

They will sit there and call blacks lazy, but when i go to school to learn a trade and take care of my own. They wanna get me fired. Thats why i work twice as hard as my white employees.

It kills me that u think blacks are more racist than whites. lol. hilarious. No blacks i know are racists. u may have had one occurence where a black guy said something stupid to you.

Try living with it every day. Not saying all whites are like that. I dont see color at all. Always keep a good white friend around.
Just saying it sucks bc now i have to deal with the stupidity of racism bc of other ignorant people.

U had to have seen the shows where they make-up a white guy to be black, well dressed, speaking proper english. He gets told at a job interview they are not hiring.

Then the same guy, now white gets hired on the spot.

My point is yes there are plenty of black racists. but it stems from the hate that whites have inflicted upon them. But our racism doesnt have the power to ruin a white persons future. unless physical.

How come there are millions of black jokes which are the most hateful sinister things u could say.

<BUT NO WHITE JOKES>
could somebody please tell me just one white joke.

*Oh and as far as the CIA flooding inner city streets with crack to fund a Nicaraguan War.......Read through this...............

www.lycaeum.org/drugwar/DARKALLIANCE

 

[tristan22]

Nevermind, i don't want to debate!

 

[K B]

for the record KB i was just being silly, for the most part. I am in know way shape or form a racist.

I don't think so. I still think you are a racist, sexualchocolate.

I actually have more white friends than black.

Can you tell us why that is?

Then out of nowhere, i hear " i know a black man and he was so nice." Then end up saying something totally racist. Even had whites calling in telling flat out lies to my manager trying to get me fired.

Blacks around here do this every day. I work in retail, and blacks are FAMOUS for screaming "racism" if they are told "no" or if they have to wait in line like everyone else. They then proceed to go and tell a manager that the reason why you said no or made them wait is because you are a racist.

They will sit there and call blacks lazy, but when i go to school to learn a trade and take care of my own. They wanna get me fired. Thats why i work twice as hard as my white employees.

"They" will sit there and say that white people have plenty of money, that they get all the breaks. "They" don't want me to go to school. When I went to college to earn MY degree to take care of MY own, I had to work twice as hard and twice as long as the black students because I have a rather large student loan to pay off, all because my skin wasn't dark enough to qualify for a scholarship.

It kills me that u think blacks are more racist than whites. lol. hilarious. No blacks i know are racists. u may have had one occurence where a black guy said something stupid to you.

I am going by the STATISTICS, sexualchocolate. The same numbers that backbreaker, who hapens to be black, so graciously gave us. Of course, MetalFortress had to translate it all for him so he could understand what it really meant.

By the way, where did backbreaker go?

U had to have seen the shows where they make-up a white guy to be black, well dressed, speaking proper english. He gets told at a job interview they are not hiring.

Then the same guy, now white gets hired on the spot.

Why are you complaining? It happens EVERY DAY to white people. Blacks don't seem to mind that THEY are hired over more-qualified white people because of their skin color. Do you know how many places HAVE to hire a certain number of blacks, regardless if they are qualified or not? Whites are being discrimanted against every single day in the name of "diversity." You have heard of "affirmative action, right? RIGHT??

College scholarships are another example. Do you know how many scholarships are available to blacks ONLY? Do you know how many scholarships are available to WHITES only? I think we both know the answer to that one.

Okay, Mr. Silly Man.....let us assume for a minute that your RIDICULOUS little article is true for a moment. Can you tell me why those CIA agents decided to "flood" inner city streets and NOT the upper-class suburbs? It doesn't really make sense; the people in these inner-cities are poor, which common sense tells us that there is not a lot of money going around. Common sense also tells us that there is more money in the upper-class suburbs. The difference is, the people on these "poor" inner city streets are STUPID enough to waste what little money they have on illegal drugs. The big bad white man would not be able to sell crack to the people in the inner cities unless the poor, STUPID people in the inner cities CHOOSE to buy illegal drugs.

 

[backbreaker]

die....post....die

 

[sexualchocolate]

they offer these privileges to blacks bc there are some whites that will admit... hey we've got a problem here. racism is still alive. there are people who cant get jobs bc of it.

even if racists got there wish and every color of person went back to their country of origin, there would be a blond blue eyed vs brunette war all over again.

its true bc light skinned blacks used to be prejudice against dark skinned blacks. somehow they thought they were better.

best bet is for all of us to try to help those in need.

whites are primarily driven by money. not all just those who are the movers and shakers. if they lose their job they jump out of their office window. or shoot up the place. they cant imagine having to sell their Jag in order to get back on their feet.

the problem is that people naturally form teams. It shouldnt be white against black. People who make more money than the working class are naturally more arrogant and think they are better than those struggling.

when actually the person prolly came from money.
even experience the same problems as lower class people. wife may be cheating, credit debt from trying to keep up with the Jones'. may have bad ass kids, drug addiction.

I dont claim any team. The only team i claim is my family and at my job. Thats why i have white friends. bc they introduce other things to me that whites like to do. i had never been water skiing, or tubing,etc. and its fun. Plus theyve got my back.

Yes every culture is drastically different from another. who are we to judge and put down a whole culture bc we have a different belief system.

When each has something beautiful we can learn from.


ive never heard a white person say. "damn that was messed up how blacks were treated. but will complain that blacks are offered assistance.

The US is driven on currency, nothing else. seems every political decision has a purpose to prosper. just imagine what we dont know, the conversations that go on behind our political officers doors.


still not a racist i just want u to understand the power that racism has over all people.

well i think people are getting pissed at us. so speak ur peace and kill it. until you have experienced racism please dont talk.

 

[newb]

the only issue with interracial relationship are those which arise from cultural differences

Im white and have dated a philipino and a latina.

 

[Vince]

Originally posted by Joe The Homophobe
the irish immigrated to new york, lived in the ghettos, got out. The italians immigrated to new york, lived in the ghettos, got out. Blacks are still in the ghetto!

Hispanics are now ahead of blacks economically in the USA. That is amazing knowing that most cross the border risking their lives with little money and work lower paying jobs than the average american citizen plus they don't know english. Not only that but the mass immigration of hispanics to the U.S didn't start not that long ago so in a few decades they already moved past blacks.

Nothing against black people but it is time to stop blaming whitey. When hispanics who come here without even knowing english are owning more homes and starting more business and are better off economically, you look at them and say how come whitey isn't keeping them down?

:crackup: hmmmm....The Irish and Italians are still considered white and if you are going to separate them by nationality then you might as well do the same for blacks ...there are American Blacks, Jamaicans, Nigerians, etc. Many black people from other countries have come to the United States and have done well just as the Italians and Irish have. Personally, I DO believe it's a mental thing with some American blacks. You will say blacks should get over what happened to them 100s of years ago... it's not that simple.

My mother is a nurse practitioner in the South and she gave a little boy and eye exam. She asked him to point out the flag (United States flag) on the wall. She asked, "What's on the left side of the wall?" He responded, "THE REBEL FLAG!" This 4 year old boy calls the Stars & Stripes the rebel flag...You can't tell me he was part of the Civil War or in the South in the 1800s.

Things are passed down from generation to generation... views, hurts, anger, etc.

 

[DinoCassanova]

I'm with backbreaker 100% when he said "die post die". lol..... No seriously though men, this one's gotten derailed I think, don't you? I posted in it early-on too, but now it's starting to closely resemble an AO-hell "race chat" room.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
However I have yet to completely understand the attraction of an individual to define him/herself by being a member of a particular group.

I think most people define themselves according to group because humans are simply sheep. Most people don't have the willpower to determine their own destiny, so they feel attaching themselves to some group will give their lives meaning.

Have you noticed in most first world countries, "fringe groups" (ie. Neo-Nazis, religous fundamentalists, etc) are composed of losers? These people are rejected by society, so they have to find a group to "belong". That's how most cults work.

Most confident people who have a purpose in life will rarely become too attached to an ideological group. In those anarchist/socialist protests, how many happy & successful people do you see? How many happy people join Al Qai'da? Probably very few.

 

[K B]

they offer these privileges to blacks bc there are some whites that will admit... hey we've got a problem here. racism is still alive. there are people who cant get jobs bc of it.

Yes, racism IS alive. Sexaulchocaolate seems to think that it is only "alive" when it is against a black person. Open up your eyes and look around, it is WHITES who are being descriminated against these days. WE are the ones who can't get jobs if a company *has* to hire a black person to be "diverse." "Diversity" is a politically-correct term that discrimnates against white people.

its true bc light skinned blacks used to be prejudice against dark skinned blacks. somehow they thought they were better.

I would go a step further and say that light-skinned blacks and dark-skinned blacks are often pejuduced against EACH OTHER. I have personally seen it, but for some reason, I seem to see a lot more darker-skins against the lighter-skins. I thought you said earlier that you don't know one single black racist?

Yes every culture is drastically different from another. who are we to judge and put down a whole culture bc we have a different belief system.

I agree with you, sexualchocolate. And that is precisely WHY I told imamnotacrook (do you remember the guy who started this thread and what his original question was?) that dating outside of one's race, from either side, will result in a culture shock. Kind of like when two people are of different religions. Yes, some can make it work, but you will have some SERIOUS issues that will have to be dealt with. The people here who live in a fairy-tale world where their hair don't move like to pretend that is doesn't matter--well, maybe it SHOULDN'T matter, but it DOES matter.

ive never heard a white person say. "damn that was messed up how blacks were treated. but will complain that blacks are offered assistance.

Well, I've never heard a black person say, "damn, I sure would like to thank the white people in this country who made it a law to free all slaves and grant us all freedom." It still doesn't change a THING, sexualchocolate. You were never subjected to any of it, and I had no part in any of it, so I don't feel guilty in the SLIGHTEST.

My complaint is not that blacks are offered "assistance." Some of them probably need it. My complaint is that there is NO ONE offering "assistance" to whites. ALL white people are not rich, and some of us, like some of you blacks, need assistance. If a white person is offered assistance, then that atomatically means that the person giving it must be a racist or a white supremist. Don't believe me? Name ONE, just ONE program that is designed to "assist" whites if they are victims of racism, or one that promotes "diversity" to anything that is all black.

still not a racist i just want u to understand the power that racism has over all people.

I don't know if you are really not a racist, but I will agree with you in that racism has great power over all people. That is what imamnotacrook needs to understand. If he is white and is dating a black, or vice-versa, as a couple they WILL feel the wrath of racism, from both whites and blacks. GUARANTEED.

 

[tristan22]

I have some minorities attending my law school and i don't know how in the he!! they got in? When we have mock trials, it takes 5 times as long b/c the judge has to keep interjecting.

Sexual-Chocolate, you've been owned! Do you realize how many times you've contradicted yourself in this post?

 

[Vince]

Originally posted by K B
Yes, racism IS alive. Sexaulchocaolate seems to think that it is only "alive" when it is against a black person. Open up your eyes and look around, it is WHITES who are being descriminated against these days. WE are the ones who can't get jobs if a company *has* to hire a black person to be "diverse." "Diversity" is a politically-correct term that discrimnates against white people.



I would go a step further and say that light-skinned blacks and dark-skinned blacks are often pejuduced against EACH OTHER. I have personally seen it, but for some reason, I seem to see a lot more darker-skins against the lighter-skins. I thought you said earlier that you don't know one single black racist?



I agree with you, sexualchocolate. And that is precisely WHY I told imamnotacrook (do you remember the guy who started this thread and what his original question was?) that dating outside of one's race, from either side, will result in a culture shock. Kind of like when two people are of different religions. Yes, some can make it work, but you will have some SERIOUS issues that will have to be dealt with. The people here who live in a fairy-tale world where their hair don't move like to pretend that is doesn't matter--well, maybe it SHOULDN'T matter, but it DOES matter.




Well, I've never heard a black person say, "damn, I sure would like to thank the white people in this country who made it a law to free all slaves and grant us all freedom." It still doesn't change a THING, sexualchocolate. You were never subjected to any of it, and I had no part in any of it, so I don't feel guilty in the SLIGHTEST.

My complaint is not that blacks are offered "assistance." Some of them probably need it. My complaint is that there is NO ONE offering "assistance" to whites. ALL white people are not rich, and some of us, like some of you blacks, need assistance. If a white person is offered assistance, then that atomatically means that the person giving it must be a racist or a white supremist. Don't believe me? Name ONE, just ONE program that is designed to "assist" whites if they are victims of racism, or one that promotes "diversity" to anything that is all black.



I don't know if you are really not a racist, but I will agree with you in that racism has great power over all people. That is what imamnotacrook needs to understand. If he is white and is dating a black, or vice-versa, as a couple they WILL feel the wrath of racism, from both whites and blacks. GUARANTEED.

Actually, they won't hire a black person, they hire an Asian person instead.

No body talks about the qualified minorities that DO go to school and do well that cannot get jobs because they are black. You don't think that happens???

http://www.nber.org/digest/sep03/w9873.html

 

[tristan22]

^^^^^^^^^^
Stop making excuses! It took me almost two years to find a decent job. I had to go back to school, get a RE license and then i got hired selling Real Estate.

I now make tons of money, so the struggle was worth it!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
...Most confident people who have a purpose in life will rarely become too attached to an ideological group. In those anarchist/socialist protests, how many happy & successful people do you see? How many happy people join Al Qai'da? Probably very few.

Interesting point.

 

[Vince]

Originally posted by tristan22
^^^^^^^^^^
Stop making excuses! It took me almost two years to find a decent job. I had to go back to school, get a RE license and then i got hired selling Real Estate.

I now make tons of money, so the struggle was worth it!

Not making excuses. If you don't think you have it easier because of your color or because you are a man, then you are kidding yourself. Everyone is so quick to point out that a minority/black has it so easy.

 

[Iamnotacrook]

Thanks, everyone, for all the replies...............