Dating in your 40's...the women are bat s crazy

[Pierce Manhammer]

Did you discuss that with her? Early on, my plate was late all the time. I brought it up and now she comes on time or earlier.

Yup.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yup.

Why not just tell her you want her there 20 minutes before you actually want her there?

If she's early that's a quickie.

 

[member160292]

Why not just tell her you want her there 20 minutes before you actually want her there?

If she's early that's a quickie.

Because that’s not how things work

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Why not just tell her you want her there 20 minutes before you actually want her there?

If she's early that's a quickie.

The ship sailed the relationship had other problems, thanks for the encouragement tho.

 

[jnMissouri]

Plenty of people make great decisions in some areas of their lives and terrible decisions in other areas of their lives.

The fact you are constantly putting the balme on others for the positions YOU put yourself in is very telling.

The only constant in all of this is YOU. When there are a lot of variables and one constant and the same problems, well...your ego doesn't want to allow you to see it, but the truth is there nonetheless.

Making sound financial decisions has no bearing on making good relationship decisions and the ability to screen women properly for what ACTUALLY matters for long term relationship suitability.

Your problem seems to be that you base 90% of their LTR qualifications off looks and that is not how to properly screen someone for an LTR. That's how to properly screen someone for a FWB only.

That's an assumption you're making, an untrue one at that. I also expected them to be educated, good income (six figures +) and loyal. Thing is, narcissistic women are good at putting up a social mask. Each of my last three relationships has been shorter and shorter. Six, five and four months. In fact I had another one end (she's still trying to hoover me on and off) And I met these women within weeks of each breakup. I'm getting better at spotting the covert narcissists, but you purely make assumptions that I'm solely basing my selections off of looks. I don't date women who don't have their financials together and they must show certain signs. Trouble is, they are good at faking loyalty and stability for a while. Which is why they try to suck me into a relationship quickly and lock me down by marriage (no chance). It's because they can only keep the façade going for so long.

My last gf was:

-Top university educated.
-Six figure (total comp 200/250K) salary at Fortune 50 company.
-Parents still married.
-Never married.
-No kids.
-26.
-96 lbs
-A drop dead 10/11.
-Asian (Vietnamese, stay away from these, even she told me they are trouble, and neither I or any of my friends have had any non crazy ones....viet girls are usually very hot, remember the hot/crazy matrix....).

As the relationship progressed, I found out she was in therapy, on anti depressants, was up and down in past relationships as well, etc. She was manipulative, etc.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows you don't TRULY know the other person until you've been with them for a while. It's not like she admitted she was crazy in the first few dates (she did admit it a few months in, even saying she was REALLY crazy, not just a little). It's not like she acted unstable on our first few dates. She was on her best behavior until she got comfortable with me. That's when her TRUE self showed....

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's an assumption you're making, an untrue one at that. I also expected them to be educated, good income (six figures +) and loyal. Thing is, narcissistic women are good at putting up a social mask. Each of my last three relationships has been shorter and shorter. Six, five and four months. In fact I had another one end (she's still trying to hoover me on and off) And I met these women within weeks of each breakup. I'm getting better at spotting the covert narcissists, but you purely make assumptions that I'm solely basing my selections off of looks. I don't date women who don't have their financials together and they must show certain signs. Trouble is, they are good at faking loyalty and stability for a while. Which is why they try to suck me into a relationship quickly and lock me down by marriage (no chance). It's because they can only keep the façade going for so long.

My last gf was:

-Top university educated.
-Six figure (total comp 200/250K) salary at Fortune 50 company.
-Parents still married.
-Never married.
-No kids.
-26.
-96 lbs
-A drop dead 10/11.
-Asian (Vietnamese, stay away from these, even she told me they are trouble, and neither I or any of my friends have had any non crazy ones....viet girls are usually very hot, remember the hot/crazy matrix....).

As the relationship progressed, I found out she was in therapy, on anti depressants, was up and down in past relationships as well, etc. She was manipulative, etc.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows you don't TRULY know the other person until you've been with them for a while. It's not like she admitted she was crazy in the first few dates (she did admit it a few months in, even saying she was REALLY crazy, not just a little). It's not like she acted unstable on our first few dates. She was on her best behavior until she got comfortable with me. That's when her TRUE self showed....

See, that's really a cop out. People will pretty much ALWAYS show you who they really are within the first 3 dates, most of the time on the first date. It's up to you to know how to see the clues, know how to ask questions that seem innocuous but give insights into their personalities and then to believe them.

Many guys fail at step 1, most fail at step 2. They see the red flags, they choose to ignore them.

Let's be real, there were red flags within the first 3 dates, you either didn't see them or chose to ignore them.

At the end of the day, this all comes back to ability to screen properly. Maybe instead of worrying about all those superficial things you should be more worried about what type of person she actually is. Money and Harvard educated doesn't mean sh!t in terms of who she is as a person. That's how I know you aren't screening for things that actually matter, because you said absolutely zero about the type of person she was, only about how much money she makes and other random things.

I'd much rather date a waitress who is a good person than some corporate manager who is a stone cold b!tch.

 

[jnMissouri]

See, that's really a cop out. People will pretty much ALWAYS show you who they really are within the first 3 dates, most of the time on the first date. It's up to you to know how to see the clues, know how to ask questions that seem innocuous but give insights into their personalities and then to believe them.

Many guys fail at step 1, most fail at step 2. They see the red flags, they choose to ignore them.

Let's be real, there were red flags within the first 3 dates, you either didn't see them or chose to ignore them.

At the end of the day, this all comes back to ability to screen properly. Maybe instead of worrying about all those superficial things you should be more worried about what type of person she actually is. Money and Harvard educated doesn't mean sh!t in terms of who she is as a person. That's how I know you aren't screening for things that actually matter, because you said absolutely zero about the type of person she was, only about how much money she makes and other random things.

I'd much rather date a waitress who is a good person than some corporate manager who is a stone cold b!tch.

Well we'll have to agree to disagree. I think it's unreasonable to believe people will show you who they are in the first 3 dates. If that was the case, most women wouldn't end up in abusive relationships. People are on their best behavior early on. You don't really get to know somebody until a few months have passed.

Seems like most people would agree it takes a few months....

how long does it to take to know the real person when dating - Google Search

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Well we'll have to agree to disagree. I think it's unreasonable to believe people will show you who they are in the first 3 dates. If that was the case, most women wouldn't end up in abusive relationships. People are on their best behavior early on. You don't really get to know somebody until a few months have passed.

Seems like most people would agree it takes a few months....

how long does it to take to know the real person when dating - Google Search

Imo if you focus on congruency that can lead to gleaning insight

 

[BadBoy89]

My last gf was:
-Top university educated.
-Six figure (total comp 200/250K) salary at Fortune 50 company.
-Parents still married.
-Never married.
-No kids.
-26.
-96 lbs

WTF.

The average 13 year old teenage girl weighs 101 lbs.

How does a 26 year old woman weigh 96 lbs?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

WTF.

The average 13 year old teenage girl weighs 101 lbs.

How does a 26 year old woman weigh 96 lbs?

I used to live in California and there are many women like this. They come from Asia.

 

[jnMissouri]

WTF.

The average 13 year old teenage girl weighs 101 lbs.

How does a 26 year old woman weigh 96 lbs?

Height...she was 5 feet tall. Vietnamese, they are petite.

 

[jnMissouri]

I used to live in California and there are many women like this. They come from Asia.

She was Vietnamese...

 

[jnMissouri]

Imo if you focus on congruency that can lead to gleaning insight

3 dates is too small of a sample size...you're talking 3-6 hours to decide if someone is crazy. Will likely DQ prematurely. With my girl, there weren't any red flags at all. Same with the previous Viet girl a few gf's ago in 2021-2022. Perfectly fine. It was at the 3 month mark her mask came off. In fact it was a picture I saw in her phone while we were at the airport and she was scrolling to show me something from a year prior...that her lies started to unravel...It's why narcissists try to lock you down quickly and love bomb you. They know they can only keep the mask on for so long before their real personality and flaws come out. Covert narcissists are experts at hiding it...for a while.

 

[corona20]

THIS >> " I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough women that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable woman who understands how to treat a man. "

now, reverse this, to

I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough man that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable man who understands how to treat a woman.

something u can't unsee. next time you see a woman with a "BF" means, she sucked and ****ed enough dudes already..for that year..

 

[BadBoy89]

Height...she was 5 feet tall. Vietnamese, they are petite.

Companies don’t give six figure salaries, $250K to Vietnamese girls who are 5’0.

They have be at least 5’4.

 

[DonJuanjr]

THIS >> " I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough women that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable woman who understands how to treat a man. "

now, reverse this, to

I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough man that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable man who understands how to treat a woman.

something u can't unsee. next time you see a woman with a "BF" means, she sucked and ****ed enough dudes already..for that year..

This made me wonder.... For all the well experienced men on here... I'm sure that most of the women from your pasts were still more experienced that you are due to their natural abundance.... How does that make you experienced fellas feel?

 

[jnMissouri]

THIS >> " I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough women that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable woman who understands how to treat a man. "

now, reverse this, to

I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough man that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable man who understands how to treat a woman.

something u can't unsee. next time you see a woman with a "BF" means, she sucked and ****ed enough dudes already..for that year..

You're a woman? Most women aren't like that. Some, sure. I've found most traditional Asian women have low body counts. My recent gf actually called the guys she dated before me and proved without them knowing I was on the phone that they never slept together. Kissed a couple times, couple dates, that's it. Her ex boyfriends, took months to sleep with her. She was 26, body count three, including me.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

While this certainly may be the case with this woman, the exception does not prove the rule.

There are low count women, but they are rare nowadays. As has been said repeatedly here their real body count is a close guarded secret.

Here’s a classic:

"I've only had sex with five guys."

Translation: I've had five boyfriends, who I regularly had sex with but never anal, and then were lucky to get their ****s sucked twice a month. I've also had sex once inside a bathroom stall at a club, but that doesn't count because I was drunk. I've sucked the **** of eight other guys, but that's not sex, and then there was the time I tried anal sex, but it only lasted for five seconds, and after that, I was pissed at the guy for sticking his **** in my ass, so I left immediately, so that doesn't count. I've had four guys eat me out on the first date, and I sucked them off so that I wouldn't have to have sex with them because I'm a good girl, and I don't have sex on the first date. Then there are the three guys that I had sex with on the first date, but that doesn't count, because they said that they just needed to use my bathroom and then they ended up in my vagina, but that doesn't matter, because it just happened and I never texted them again. I also had sex with two guys in high school. Still, it wasn't really sex because they didn't know what they were doing and came in under a minute, so I didn't technically lose my virginity until I had sex with my first boyfriend in college, but not before I sucked another three different ****s during orientation week. But that doesn't count because it was a crazy time in my life.

You're a woman? Most women aren't like that. Some, sure. I've found most traditional Asian women have low body counts. My recent gf actually called the guys she dated before me and proved without them knowing I was on the phone that they never slept together. Kissed a couple times, couple dates, that's it. Her ex boyfriends, took months to sleep with her. She was 26, body count three, including me.

 

[corona20]

I observed my sister when we were young, i can count the number of men that i'm sure she fvcked or svcked by the time she graduated high school,

she had
3 serious boyfriends, i saw this white guy walk into her room after school once. and locked the door on and turned up the music loud..( LOL,) ... i remember this clearly.., another asian guy she was making out with... after high school, she was with 1 mexican guy long term, had a kid with him, another biker dude who i came over to her condo, and i was like "who the fvck is this dude"... then im SURE theres MORE that i never saw or heard. And FINALLY, her HUSBAND she's been with for 10 years currently.

so lets count the ones i was ABLE to observer
3 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 , about 9 and im sure theres maybe, 2 to 4 more. (just my guess. )and this is coming from a conservative/traditional/religious/catholic family. So 10 body count MIINIMUM..easy..

She never went to college with dorm room type, never went to go "clubbing" with her gfs , never went to bars. Anf This was in the 90s Early, 2000s era. No social media, no tinder, none of that....she is 45 now i think. Oh, and she NEVER HAD A TATTOO!!!

SO, imagine those women who went to college and lived in dorms, imagine those who went to go clubbing, those who aren't traditional/conservative, who have access to social media with TATTOOS.

It's not about how many, its about the MINIMUM that we should ask them, obvioulsy, they'll never tell the real number, but theres a chance they might give a MINIMUM number besides the obvious 1. If you want to dig for body counts that is..

 

[DonJuanjr]

Who cares about the amount of men women have fvcked... If it's more than a couple(which it will be) than she's going to have pair bonding issues any ways. The relationships will always be short lived. Or is it because even the most experienced men still have less sexual experience than the average women just due to the abundance women have, and that's unsettling to people's egos...