Dating in your 40's...the women are bat s crazy

[Slowhandluke]

Serious question but do the men who post here on SS want kids?

Some do, some don't. I think for a lot of men, that is why they date. It's subliminal. Sooner or latter, a lot of guys will say, "the sex is nice, but I want to have a family.. a meaning in my life. I want a legacy and a person that I can find meaning in INSTEAD of finding meaning in just myself".

Yeah, a lot of guys who say they don't want kids, but ultimately, it's just a lie to get older women, or they change once all their friends have family's.

Those men that have kids already, they either don't want to date anymore (too much financial risk) or they are just "having fun". After all, as their kids grow up, these kids for a lot of people become their social support -- i.e., there is less need for a wife. Obviously, there are exceptions. The more kids, the less likely he will need a wife to help him out socially or physically. Also, since bonding between couple happens involves time and going through struggles. A "new girl friend" that is older, there's less chance she has time to form strong bonds. There's a higher chance she has her own kids to worry about, etc..

There's a lot of things working against older men bonding with older women. It's all the "baggage". Heck, it's even doubtful that the older women would put up with "struggles" like him losing his job or health. She will just leave. After all, unless she's a widow, she already has a history of leaving relationships especially if she hasn't even been married- can't have a new relationship without leaving the old one.

Ultimately, it just ends up being "hooking up" for entertainment. There's no real bond. Is seduction technics really necessary for "hooking up" -- I guess so. It does sound useless, right? If people want to have sex for sex sake -- get an male or female escort. It's cheaper time wise... and probably financially.

I like to think websites like this are helping men (who don't know how to seduce/flirt/etc.)show their value so they can match with their appropriate counterpart and not to trick other people into just sleeping with them. Am I an idealist? Maybe Besides most women are not that stupid.

Trying not to judge, they're entitled to feel however they feel, just saying, the wanting kids excuse is BS.

Again imho.

 

[Ignorance is not bliss]

And even they have their issues. My previous two gf's before this last one were 25 and 29. They both had some severe emotional issues. Women in general have issues. Ruled by their emotions. Just randomly crying. No logic, no empathy. Just pure emotion. Also another girl I dated recently was 35, not far above the top of the range the guy mentioned. She was ABSOLUTELY BAT S CRAZY, top ten MBA, etc. JUST CRAZY.

Another girl I met in LA recently, also a top ten MBA, 38, never married, no kids, but wants. Showed CLEAR signs of NPD and BPD, two of the cluster B personality types. Her moods would swing within minutes. One day we are talking on the phone 6 hours until the morning, the next she bites my head off via text and is in alpha female mode. Just absolutely insane. She showed me texts of her ex's blocking her, etc. Now I see why.

This hits close to home. Was just dumped by a 40 year old. I suspected manic depressive with the mood swings. Almost daily suicidal thoughts. "I hate being here" "I want to sleep, hopefully I won't wake up" that's the light stuff. Also the off the wall screaming anger, over mundane things.
I looked.up the symptoms, every single one.
She also admitted that she had issues since childhood.
I'm new
The reason I joined the forum is because another guy who knows her, recommend the

I have no desire to “prove” anything. I just pass on what I’ve learned in life to whomever has an ear to hear.
There are multiple subtle tells in a person’s features which are caught in photos and which betray certain personality characteristics. This is too subtle for the young and for older know-it-alls.
I will give you an example which is ridiculously obvious but which you may understand…The wide-eyed stare. Most men of knowledge recognize that as a sign of crazy.
Another very obvious one would be an uneven smile. Sort of a smirk. That should tell an intelligent man many things.
One can start there but take it to a more micro level after years of experience and observation. That awareness increases as a man gains insight over the years. Put another way, it’s simply an advanced ability to read body language and micro-tells.
I know this falls on deaf ears for some, but many older men understand what I’m talking about.

I have a crooked smile.
It's always irritated me.
What's it mean?
You're taking out your arse on that. You don't know me, or my character.

 

[Ignorance is not bliss]

1. They come from more conservative cultures. It's not quite as common for them to show direct interest in a man. Therefore, their idea of "flirting" in such cases is teasing, which can lead to hurling insults, throwing tantrums and just generally being out of control.

2. Asian women in particular tend to be coddled and spoiled by Asian men and so this type of behavior is never checked. Not in the courtship process, anyway.

3. Third, as these two groups of women age, they become more desperate so their "flirting" can take on a strange intensity, which combined with point 1 can lead to batsh-t crazy.

I'd say from personal experience, it's also Asian romance movies.
Insane amount of screaming and bawling. Then they lived happily ever after.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I have a crooked smile.
It's always irritated me.
What's it mean?
You're taking out your arse on that. You don't know me, or my character.

I’m going to try to help you with your illogical thinking because of my extreme benevolence, even though I will not be rewarded with watching you see the light.
Of course I don’t know you, although from your writings I already know a lot about your character. You tell much more than you think you do.
This discussion pertains to seeing a picture, correct? I have not seen a picture of you, and therefore cannot comment based on your picture. I can only come up with a few possibilities as to what your crooked smile means, because I only have your verbal statement that you have a crooked smile and that you hate it.
Show me a picture and I will have an even more accurate idea of your personality than I already have from your rather revealing writings.
Back to the subject at hand, it seems to me a very logical and reasonable observation that as a perceptive man gains experience and ages, he develops a highly refined ability to interpret physical characteristics and mannerisms.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why would a 35 year old businessman hitting on you be laughable? A lot of men hit on women they want to have sex with especially those that think they have a chance with. To be honest, most men are not stupid. There's a good chance he's been successful with similar woman and that is why he's hitting on you.

Laughable in my mind, my opinion. For me personally. Early 40s is too young for me. Now generally I do not care what grown consenting adults do. I don’t judge (although I’m not going to hang out with the town bicycle as that might become a poor reflection on me by association) but beyond that? Do what suits you.

The guy who was flirting the other night was social with a number of women in the venue, the rest were substantially my junior in age, and he was fit, well dressed, very attractive face. He was average height and quite charming. I’m sure he does fine & the younger gals were receptive to him/exchanging contacts. He didn’t ask for my number but I make it crystal clear in conversation that I am engaged and I wear my ring.

No my kids have never slowed my social life although I did not start dating until more than a year post divorce and even then was quite selective. I had a bad experience with the 3 year LTR prior to my fiancé but I was taken in by his charm, got involved and so forth. Lessons learned as many men here have similarly experienced.

Have standards and screen. Sooner or later you sort out the stable from the unstable. It is a matter of time.

 

[Ignorance is not bliss]

I’m going to try to help you with your illogical thinking because of my extreme benevolence, even though I will not be rewarded with watching you see the light.
Of course I don’t know you, although from your writings I already know a lot about your character. You tell much more than you think you do.
This discussion pertains to seeing a picture, correct? I have not seen a picture of you, and therefore cannot comment based on your picture. I can only come up with a few possibilities as to what your crooked smile means, because I only have your verbal statement that you have a crooked smile and that you hate it.
Show me a picture and I will have an even more accurate idea of your personality than I already have from your rather revealing writings.
Back to the subject at hand, it seems to me a very logical and reasonable observation that as a perceptive man gains experience and ages, he develops a highly refined ability to interpret physical characteristics and mannerisms.

The fvck are you on about?
You said nothing, you proved nothing.
You made an ridiculous assertion that you can read people by seeing a picture
You also said a crooked smile means something, but won't say what it is.
. What writings have I been posting? I've been a member for two days.
You must be a savant

 

[Atom Smasher]

The fvck are you on about?
You said nothing, you proved nothing.
You made an ridiculous assertion that you can read people by seeing a picture
You also said a crooked smile means something, but won't say what it is.
. What writings have I been posting? I've been a member for two days.
You must be a savant

Thank you.

 

[Solomon]

When there are lots of other variables and one constant variable with the same problem the likeliest answer is it's the constant causing the issue.

The only constant in all of this is you OP. Perhaps instead of blaming them for these problems, maybe you should look at why you keep facing these issues.

OPs problem is OLD
It's a cesspool of low-quality women (even hot chicks) from OP's original post he seems like a good-looking or high-status guy so he doesn't have a problem getting women. I would recommend if he does OLD to go lower the age (24-33) or find a social circle where he can vet for better quality women. I know it's not easy to do trust me I know but it's night and day

Heck I would even recommend a church that is a true-believing church with a singles group would be far better than OLD

If you're looking for LTR OLD then you're either gonna be lowering your standards significantly (even if the woman is hot most likely she doesn't have a pleasant personality or is crazy) or keep meeting crazy boards like OP

 

[Fruitbat]

Serious question but do the men who post here on SS want kids? Some do, some are already married with kids, but many of the guys here do not, they're spinning plates, don't give a fvck (had a brief convo today with one such man) but yet still deem 30+ women as post wall, over the hill, worthless, useless.

Trying not to judge, they're entitled to feel however they feel, just saying, the wanting kids excuse is BS.

Again imho.

For me,I came here a broken man and learned a lot, I got married to a hot woman 11 years younger and we had a child. I come back here because I have been here a long time, maybe almost a decade.

the spinning plates was always just to find a decent one. At some point the earth and fluids has to give way to real life.

I found here, and this I hope will be endorsed, that the man who was failing (me) believes it’s about what you say, how often you text, techniques etc. while some of this is sound, to actually be successful with women it’s about changing you, not changing how you interact. A winner with no game beats a loser with game, hands down. Without a bit of game, the winner will end up having a bad time with his women, but he will still be getting laid.

So I never saw this forum as being per se only about living a hedonistic batchelor lifestyle, it’s learning about having a frame and the art of dealing with women and becoming a better man.

 

[BeExcellent]

For me,I came here a broken man and learned a lot, I got married to a hot woman 11 years younger and we had a child. I come back here because I have been here a long time, maybe almost a decade.

the spinning plates was always just to find a decent one. At some point the earth and fluids has to give way to real life.

I found here, and this I hope will be endorsed, that the man who was failing (me) believes it’s about what you say, how often you text, techniques etc. while some of this is sound, to actually be successful with women it’s about changing you, not changing how you interact. A winner with no game beats a loser with game, hands down. Without a bit of game, the winner will end up having a bad time with his women, but he will still be getting laid.

So I never saw this forum as being per se only about living a hedonistic batchelor lifestyle, it’s learning about having a frame and the art of dealing with women and becoming a better man.

@Atom Smasher has always held a similar view. A tip of the hat to you

 

[Fruitbat]

@Atom Smasher has always held a similar view. A tip of the hat to you

hat tip back to the YL.

it’s been a while, hope you’re doing well.

I’d say you’re looking good for even 43 in your pic but that would make me a simping beta. The fact I responded immediately without waiting 2 days adds to this.

 

[BeExcellent]

Strengths of @Fruitbat are cheeky sense of humor, IDGAF attitude and solid comfort within himself. And the swagger of success doesn’t hurt either. Let the other gents take note…

All the Best to you & the family!

 

[Fruitbat]

Strengths of @Fruitbat are cheeky sense of humor, IDGAF attitude and solid comfort within himself. And the swagger of success doesn’t hurt either. Let the other gents take note…

All the Best to you & the family!

theyre gonna beat me up for that.

same to you

 

[RBK]

I have a girl, If I was single there was no way in hell I'd date anyone over 30. 99% of these women are looking for a provide and resources for their future children. Biological clock is TICKING hard.

 

[bat soup]

My now ex, 42 (Asian, looked 31, bat s crazy it turned out). Hard core Borderline and Narcissist, had the majority of the signs based on my past experiences.

Her replacement...35 year old "virgin" (vaginal). Bat s crazy, no wonder this hot Ukranian chic had never been proposed to and all her relationships were a couple months except for...a serial killer...no joke. Never even texted me on my birthday...put work deadline before meeting up for my birthday the night before. Not even a text or call on my b day so I ghosted her.

So I'm dating again, one chic won't give me her number until the second date. I'm thinking, OK our second date will be a walk in the park, literally. No way I'm spending more than I did for coffee with such a woman. And she thinks it's fun to tease me with her number (we met on match). OK, then you can pay for your own meal if we go out...."it's more fun that way" loser...

Another girl, 38, Yale MBA, gorgeous, string of relationships with narcisists and borderlines. Literally within 2 days she's talking marriage (my 42 year old ex above took 2 months) and moving to be closer to me...we had never even met. She cops and attitude every few minutes. Volatile. No wonder she's never married, no kids.

44 year old hot girl, on her profile she says she won't be exclusive with a man before marriage...no wonder you've never been proposed to.

38 year old Latina, made plans with me, then reschedules the day of when I message to confirm, she tries to push our date to another date, I'm like, silence and distance...

I'm honestly at the point where I've slept with enough women that I don't really care. I got my "validation" and a high body count. I want a relationship with an attractive and stable woman who understands how to treat a man.

All of my last 6 girlfriends or so took turns paying for dates after we were in a relationship (3 dates or so). I'm really getting tired of the left over women in their 30's+. Heck even my 29 and 25 year old gf's had some issues. More stable than most but obvious emotional issues. Finding a woman who gets it is nigh impossible.

Went on a date with this cute Chinese chic the other night, our second date. We came home to my place, fooled around, no sex though. Invite her over for dinner again and she says I'm sweet, she has no plans, etc. I tell her I'll have dinner ready at 7. Haven't heard from her since last night when I texted her that.

I swear women are bat s crazy....

There's a reason why they're still on the shelf. Leftovers.

 

[viking22]

In most major metropolitan cities there are lots of attractive single childless women in their early 30s. You can find ones from good universities who grew up in the country so you don't have the cultural misunderstandings to worry about and have good jobs without being alpha female career types.

Of course they are incredibly picky but if you are handsome and rich it shouldnt be an issue.

 

[SW15]

they are incredibly picky but if you are handsome and rich it shouldnt be an issue.

Most men aren't handsome enough and aren't rich enough to not have issues. The threshold is high. Also, almost all of those women are White. Most Hispanic women at age 30+ are either single moms or married/in a LTR moms.

 

[Solomon]

Update

OPs problem is OLD
It's a cesspool of low-quality women (even hot chicks) from OP's original post he seems like a good-looking or high-status guy so he doesn't have a problem getting women. I would recommend if he does OLD to go lower the age (24-33) or find a social circle where he can vet for better quality women. I know it's not easy to do trust me I know but it's night and day

Heck I would even recommend a church that is a true-believing church with a singles group would be far better than OLD

If you're looking for LTR OLD then you're either gonna be lowering your standards significantly (even if the woman is hot most likely she doesn't have a pleasant personality or is crazy) or keep meeting crazy boards like OP

Let me correct myself

Met a HB7 through my social circle recently 38 years old, in great shape no kids
But the chick was bat bat bat shyt crazy. I'm talking about the chick who claimed to be hearing demons, (admitted to me she was seeing a psychiatrist)her ex boyfriend who was a big-time drug dealer died a month ago. She insinuated she may have had something to do with it

I blocked her number after our one-on-one date

Gonna take a break from dating after that one lol

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Billy Pilgrim,
"You look at enough profile pics of older women, and you can tell off the bat which ones are crazy and which ones are sane.For the most part, it's in the eyes." Yes I absolutely agree,Atom Smasher in one of his posts described himself similarily...It has been suggested that if you divide a face vertically into left and right sides then the right side of the face reflects the left hemisphere for logic and the left reflects the right side for emotions....Where the two sides are radically different then it is postulated that the mind is out of harmony....,it is said that a baby will be unsettled in the presence of such a person......The Pop Sociologist Malcolm Gladwell wrote about about reading personality in his fascinating and very readable "Blink",can I suggest you hunt out a copy and read the Chapter on mind reading.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Hi Billy Pilgrim,
"You look at enough profile pics of older women, and you can tell off the bat which ones are crazy and which ones are sane.For the most part, it's in the eyes." Yes I absolutely agree,Atom Smasher in one of his posts described himself similarily...It has been suggested that if you divide a face vertically into left and right sides then the right side of the face reflects the left hemisphere for logic and the left reflects the right side for emotions....Where the two sides are radically different then it is postulated that the mind is out of harmony....,it is said that a baby will be unsettled in the presence of such a person......The Pop Sociologist Malcolm Gladwell wrote about about reading personality in his fascinating and very readable "Blink",can I suggest you hunt out a copy and read the Chapter on mind reading.

Thanks for the tip Scaramouch. I do like Gladwell. It might be worthwhile to ask a girl if she's left handed, as this often correlates with right hemisphere predominance, and vice versa.