Dating in your 40's...the women are bat s crazy

[spred]

Out of curiosity what's your source on this? Are you Asian yourself? My Vietnamese ex liked my teasing/negging and dished it back sometimes. This explains why. She did also tell me Viet men pay for everything, whereas white guys want to split everything. It's not surprise a lot of asian women I go out with, at least during the dating phase, expect you to pay for dates. My Viet ex, she and I would take turns paying for dates after we became a couple on our fourth date. Although she wanted us to take our profiles down after 1 date, and I did too, she was hot.

I am from Eastern Europe and can confirm.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Out of curiosity what's your source on this? Are you Asian yourself? My Vietnamese ex liked my teasing/negging and dished it back sometimes. This explains why. She did also tell me Viet men pay for everything, whereas white guys want to split everything. It's not surprise a lot of asian women I go out with, at least during the dating phase, expect you to pay for dates. My Viet ex, she and I would take turns paying for dates after we became a couple on our fourth date. Although she wanted us to take our profiles down after 1 date, and I did too, she was hot.

LOL and Vietnamese guys are just as sought after as white guys.

 

[jnMissouri]

LOL and Vietnamese guys are just as sought after as white guys.

Nope, not true. I have several male viet friends, white women are generally not interested in them they tell me and most Asian women are not either. The only exception to this I'll say is in viet culture specifically. They try to date and marry and breed in their own nationality. It's their culture, but not ALWAYS true. My ex for example married a viet guy, in a town where there were very few, she said that was one of the few options for her.

In my case she wanted to marry me, but would she have had kids with me? Maybe, but her entire family, 4 sisters, a brother, are all with viet people even though they live in the US.

But my viet guy friends tell me white women are NOT interested in them...

 

[jnMissouri]

Women in general btw, are bat s crazy. They are ruled by their emotions, rather than logic like us men.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Nope, not true. I have several male viet friends, white women are generally not interested in them they tell me and most Asian women are not either. The only exception to this I'll say is in viet culture specifically. They try to date and marry and breed in their own nationality. It's their culture, but not ALWAYS true. My ex for example married a viet guy, in a town where there were very few, she said that was one of the few options for her.

In my case she wanted to marry me, but would she have had kids with me? Maybe, but her entire family, 4 sisters, a brother, are all with viet people even though they live in the US.

But my viet guy friends tell me white women are NOT interested in them...

Good info, thx for the response. I notice this to some extent in the hispanic culture in the U.S. A lot of young hotties seem to be dating down when sticking to their own ethnicity. I'm sure a lot of them could do better if they were more open to outsiders.

It's almost enough to make you want to be fluent in Spanish and be a regular condom-wearer.

 

[BeExcellent]

Admittedly I’m a bit late to this thread, we chatted a bit about it OP, but here are some thoughts from the old lady:

Figure out what exactly you want long term. You have a high body count and a high net worth. You’ve been there done that. Once you figure out what your end goal is then you figure out what are your “Must Haves” and your “Deal Breakers”. Then you screen on those criteria. Ruthlessly on your particular criteria but be open beyond that.

Look for woman you can enjoy your time with. And someone you find attractive & sexy.

I do the same thing. My criteria boil down to this, as I’ve stated here many times:

1. Do I desire him sexually?
2. Can he lead me (Is he dominant)?

Answer to both questions must be yes or I’m outta there. I also prefer a sense of humor and playfulness, high intelligence, and a level of financial success such that he has his act together, can handle his life like a grown ass man, and is in my league somewhere (six figure income & up - which is what I earn myself).

Everything else is case by case.

My fiancé checks all the required as well as the preferred boxes, but he’s not perfect. He has never been married (doesn’t understand from experience what that level of commitment entails), he’s not a father (doesn’t understand what being a parent entails), and because of those two things he has an inherent selfishness that he doesn’t fully realize he has. He is an introvert although very charming in familiar company, and he comes off as arrogant because people somehow assume a very handsome man couldn’t possibly be awkward so they assume he’s arrogant. He’s also much younger than I would typically think about dating.

These characteristics lead to conflict sometimes and there are things he doesn’t like about me as well. But on balance we are a good match, have lots of fun together, are attracted to one another, travel well together, and so forth. He likes the idea of being married and we know many happy marriages (yes really) in our social circles. I like the idea of someone to “do life” with. So whether we marry or not our long term goals line up and our “Must Haves” versus “Deal Breakers” line up.

My point is that nobody is perfect. And as we all age we all get set in our ways. So genuine compatibility is rare. Women, it seems to me have to some degree or other forgotten how important it is to be the feminine energy in relationships. Masculine men want feminine women, all other things being equal. Masculine men want to spoil their girl and protect her and take care of her. Feminine women want to care for, spoil and treat their man very well.

Too many women expect to be treated like a Queen but resent treating a man as a King. I treat my man like a King. He loves that and is growing into treating me like a Queen but he’s had shady take advantage crazy women so much that he’s adjusting into things and is relearning the trust this dynamic requires.

Make no mistake. Being involved with crazy people casts a long shadow, in men as well as in women. Always look deep in the mirror and own your shjt and how you got here.

Sometimes very successful people are utterly unreasonable in their expectations. You cannot be overly demanding with another autonomous human being. That creates drama and eventually outright revolt.

Over time I have developed greater and greater patience with myself, and with others. There are areas where my current relationship requires tremendous patience. And areas where he has granted me tremendous acceptance.

You must be willing to take on another person’s humanness with all the associated attributes and flaws. Building something meaningful and fulfilling is not easy.

Quit expecting easy.

Cheers

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Admittedly I’m a bit late to this thread, we chatted a bit about it OP, but here are some thoughts from the old lady:

Figure out what exactly you want long term. You have a high body count and a high net worth. You’ve been there done that. Once you figure out what your end goal is then you figure out what are your “Must Haves” and your “Deal Breakers”. Then you screen on those criteria. Ruthlessly on your particular criteria but be open beyond that.

Look for woman you can enjoy your time with. And someone you find attractive & sexy.

I do the same thing. My criteria boil down to this, as I’ve stated here many times:

1. Do I desire him sexually?
2. Can he lead me (Is he dominant)?

Answer to both questions must be yes or I’m outta there. I also prefer a sense of humor and playfulness, high intelligence, and a level of financial success such that he has his act together, can handle his life like a grown ass man, and is in my league somewhere (six figure income & up - which is what I earn myself).

Everything else is case by case.

My fiancé checks all the required as well as the preferred boxes, but he’s not perfect. He has never been married (doesn’t understand from experience what that level of commitment entails), he’s not a father (doesn’t understand what being a parent entails), and because of those two things he has an inherent selfishness that he doesn’t fully realize he has. He is an introvert although very charming in familiar company, and he comes off as arrogant because people somehow assume a very handsome man couldn’t possibly be awkward so they assume he’s arrogant. He’s also much younger than I would typically think about dating.

These characteristics lead to conflict sometimes and there are things he doesn’t like about me as well. But on balance we are a good match, have lots of fun together, are attracted to one another, travel well together, and so forth. He likes the idea of being married and we know many happy marriages (yes really) in our social circles. I like the idea of someone to “do life” with. So whether we marry or not our long term goals line up and our “Must Haves” versus “Deal Breakers” line up.

My point is that nobody is perfect. And as we all age we all get set in our ways. So genuine compatibility is rare. Women, it seems to me have to some degree or other forgotten how important it is to be the feminine energy in relationships. Masculine men want feminine women, all other things being equal. Masculine men want to spoil their girl and protect her and take care of her. Feminine women want to care for, spoil and treat their man very well.

Too many women expect to be treated like a Queen but resent treating a man as a King. I treat my man like a King. He loves that and is growing into treating me like a Queen but he’s had shady take advantage crazy women so much that he’s adjusting into things and is relearning the trust this dynamic requires.

Make no mistake. Being involved with crazy people casts a long shadow, in men as well as in women. Always look deep in the mirror and own your shjt and how you got here.

Sometimes very successful people are utterly unreasonable in their expectations. You cannot be overly demanding with another autonomous human being. That creates drama and eventually outright revolt.

Over time I have developed greater and greater patience with myself, and with others. There are areas where my current relationship requires tremendous patience. And areas where he has granted me tremendous acceptance.

You must be willing to take on another person’s humanness with all the associated attributes and flaws. Building something meaningful and fulfilling is not easy.

Quit expecting easy.

Cheers

Quit expecting "easy", says Team Woman

A common complaint here in the Valley of the Sun...lol.

You should certainly expect one's best foot being put forward.

"If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best", so they say.

In other words, batsh1t crazy.

But congrats on your transcendence. It's very rare that ultra-successful people have such humanity. Creme de la creme.

You actually sound rather easy, given that you have no flaws.

Cheers

 

[jnMissouri]

Admittedly I’m a bit late to this thread, we chatted a bit about it OP, but here are some thoughts from the old lady:

Figure out what exactly you want long term. You have a high body count and a high net worth. You’ve been there done that. Once you figure out what your end goal is then you figure out what are your “Must Haves” and your “Deal Breakers”. Then you screen on those criteria. Ruthlessly on your particular criteria but be open beyond that.

Look for woman you can enjoy your time with. And someone you find attractive & sexy.

I do the same thing. My criteria boil down to this, as I’ve stated here many times:

1. Do I desire him sexually?
2. Can he lead me (Is he dominant)?

Answer to both questions must be yes or I’m outta there. I also prefer a sense of humor and playfulness, high intelligence, and a level of financial success such that he has his act together, can handle his life like a grown ass man, and is in my league somewhere (six figure income & up - which is what I earn myself).

Everything else is case by case.

My fiancé checks all the required as well as the preferred boxes, but he’s not perfect. He has never been married (doesn’t understand from experience what that level of commitment entails), he’s not a father (doesn’t understand what being a parent entails), and because of those two things he has an inherent selfishness that he doesn’t fully realize he has. He is an introvert although very charming in familiar company, and he comes off as arrogant because people somehow assume a very handsome man couldn’t possibly be awkward so they assume he’s arrogant. He’s also much younger than I would typically think about dating.

These characteristics lead to conflict sometimes and there are things he doesn’t like about me as well. But on balance we are a good match, have lots of fun together, are attracted to one another, travel well together, and so forth. He likes the idea of being married and we know many happy marriages (yes really) in our social circles. I like the idea of someone to “do life” with. So whether we marry or not our long term goals line up and our “Must Haves” versus “Deal Breakers” line up.

My point is that nobody is perfect. And as we all age we all get set in our ways. So genuine compatibility is rare. Women, it seems to me have to some degree or other forgotten how important it is to be the feminine energy in relationships. Masculine men want feminine women, all other things being equal. Masculine men want to spoil their girl and protect her and take care of her. Feminine women want to care for, spoil and treat their man very well.

Too many women expect to be treated like a Queen but resent treating a man as a King. I treat my man like a King. He loves that and is growing into treating me like a Queen but he’s had shady take advantage crazy women so much that he’s adjusting into things and is relearning the trust this dynamic requires.

Make no mistake. Being involved with crazy people casts a long shadow, in men as well as in women. Always look deep in the mirror and own your shjt and how you got here.

Sometimes very successful people are utterly unreasonable in their expectations. You cannot be overly demanding with another autonomous human being. That creates drama and eventually outright revolt.

Over time I have developed greater and greater patience with myself, and with others. There are areas where my current relationship requires tremendous patience. And areas where he has granted me tremendous acceptance.

You must be willing to take on another person’s humanness with all the associated attributes and flaws. Building something meaningful and fulfilling is not easy.

Quit expecting easy.

Cheers

My criteria:

-Petite, sexy, attractive. No, she doesn't need to be a model, a nerdy girl who is hot and has some flaws is fine as long as she has a nice body and a cute face.

-FEMINE!! Too many women want to be masculine and dominant in relationships. They wonder why the divorce rate is so high. Women have forgotten how to let a man lead. Except when it comes to paying for dates apparently...

-Not sure how to put this one, but she must be somewhat successful. I've learned that dating highly successful multi millionaire women who are CEO's of their own companies, best selling authors, etc. is not what I want. These women are VERY masculine. I see them on the elite dating site year after year whenever I get back on there, they seem to never leave. They are endlessly picky, not realizing their clock is ticking. I just don't want a barista who I have to pay for trips and such, I want her to contribute financially to the relationship. So far all my gf's have, even the moderately OK ones making 60K a year. That's enough for them to contribute. I pay for the roof over our heads since the house is in my name, I just want them to pay utilities and food. My ex of 9 years did that and still managed to save like 60K. She would not have been able to do that where it not for me paying for the roof over our head, as utilities and food were barely $600-$700 a month combined. Less in the summers.

-I expect her to be fiercely loyal. If she checks out other guys in front of me, smiles at them, flirts with them or is overly friendly, that's an issue for me. To date I've only had one gf that was like that, although early on she did check out other guys in front of me and even later on in the relationship I would catch her doing it. But she never cheated. One of these days I'm going to start a thread about my boundaries and "insecurities". I know a lot of women gaslight men and men gaslight women about being "insecure" about them hanging out with the opposite sex, etc. I had one girl who thought it was OK for me or her to take trips to Vegas with members of the opposite sex as long as we stayed in separate rooms. Not ONE of my friends who I asked about that said they would be OK with that, they all said she was bat s crazy and I agree. There's a reason she is attractive and no one has ever proposed to her...

I don't think it's a lot to ask to put our relationship first. If our relationship, if I mean that much to you, why would having random new male friends be so important to a girl? Beta orbiter backup options, or narcissistic attention supply IMO. My most recent gf, her parents have been married 40+ years or so. All of the female daughters (ex's sisters) are divorced at least once, including my ex. They all have the attitude that the woman is a queen and men must pamper women and do whatever she wants, let HER do whatever she wants with anyone, because...vagina.

Another thread I'm thinking of starting; what is everyone's plan for dating when you're 50+? 60+? 70+? I can't even fathom it. My wealth will keep increasing, so I can get younger women. My gf before last was 25. I was 38 when we met I think? I'm 40 now. Honestly dating and relationships wise, I've become disillusioned. I know every relationship I enter will come to an end eventually, so what's the point. I've researched this and a lot of people online (reddit) say, what's the point of life if it will end? What's the point of eating if you get hungry again? The point is to enjoy it. OK, I guess. Even with my money (which by the way, unless you have 5, maybe 10 million, it's not THAT much money, but I'm getting very close to 5 million, a couple more years.). You'd be surprised that money doesn't actually make you happy. I don't have the problems that others do. I can pay off my house, most of my rentals, not worry about cars, etc. The thing I worry about is law suits. Retiring sounds good, I planned on retiring at 40, now I'm thinking 45 at the LATEST.

I think I figured out what I can do to occupy my time when I retire: dating and trading options. My ex turned me onto that, she's a pro trader. I learned a bit from her, and did a lot of research and reading myself. I turned 100K into 500K paper trading in 3 weeks. The market turned to crap though and live trading is a little different psychology wise she told me, even according to studies I've read. First two days I was making good money every day. Then I lost 25K in the next few weeks. Last four days as I refined my strategy and followed the suggestions of discipling my trades and some of her suggestions when we were together, I've been able to make an average of about $700 a day within 2-3 minutes in the mornings. My goal is $200-500 per day until I get better. After that, the books say once you hit the goal for the day, stop trading or if you want to trade, do paper trading lest you lose your money for the day, so true. I've had days where I was down 1.5K, then made that back AND 1.6K profit. But I'm learning to cherry pick trades and be disciplined, this is apparently the hardest thing to do per the books, being patient, making a trading plan and following your plan. So the last four days I've been profitable again, learning to be disciplined and going to paper trading after. So I made my goal today then switched to paper trading and make 3K paper trading in a few minutes. I do agree that paper trading is not the same, not just psychologically, for some reason paper trades are FAR easier to make money in even though they are the same real time data with the same app.

 

[jnMissouri]

Anyways, I'm learning to go back to not getting my validation from women. The thing is, when you have the money, you'd think you'd be happy with that. Realistically, I'd love a family. But I can't trust women, and every woman I date is divorced it seems like. Nearly every. The reality is most relationships and marriages don't work. It's interesting, because the NEW stats say 40% of first marriages end in divorce. 50+% of second, and 75+% of third. So if you think about it, most people who get married stay married. But why is it 99% of the women in online dating are divorced? It seems like the dating pool is literally the rejects. It's almost like this: these are the people who dropped out of high school, have no diploma. Now they are the left over's competing for retail jobs. While the people who went to college or started a business or learned the trade are successfully employed. Maybe it's not the best analogy but you get the idea.

 

[RBK]

Yikes at 30+ women, stay in the 23-26 age range.

 

[derby1]

Unmarried, childless women over 30 are broken. Don’t even try it

Im single dad of 1, last year I thought it was quite an achievement to get 3x childless women on dates. (over 27 yrs old)

all 3 of them were just awful.

proper gaslighted from the get go aswell. constant accusations

 

[DonJuanjr]

proper gaslighted from the get go aswell. constant accusations

Care to elaborate?

 

[BeExcellent]

The trust thing is baggage OP. When you carry distrust of a universal nature (I don’t trust women) you self sabotage right out the gate. You set up a self fulfilling cascade.

What this belief system does is it starts you off in defense mode. You are suspicious of a girl without reason. You are looking for confirmation of your distrust. The energy this creates is creepy and insecure and negative. This NOT congruent with how you appear or with who you really are. That discord is scaring off chicks. Think on that.

@BillyPilgrim go re-read my post. When you take just the last line and incorrectly riff on it what you do is make it obvious that either you didn’t read the content OR you have terrible reading comprehension skills. I assume you didn’t really read it based on your odd response.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

@BeExcellent - Please stop referring to yourself as the "old lady"! You're 53, for Christ's sake. That's young! Hill says that people who refer to themselves as old at a young, ripe age are afraid of old age. And I agree. Stop it! You're so extremely intelligent and bright it baffles me that you partake in this wretched behavior. I want to see your future posts read: "Advice from the young lady..."

 

[SW15]

@BeExcellent - Please stop referring to yourself as the "old lady"! You're 53, for Christ's sake. That's young! Hill says that people who refer to themselves as old at a young, ripe age are afraid of old age. And I agree. Stop it! You're so extremely intelligent and bright it baffles me that you partake in this wretched behavior. I want to see your future posts read: "Advice from the young lady..."

She explained once that it the phrasing is done as a joke.

 

[forcerecon01]

Anyways, I'm learning to go back to not getting my validation from women. The thing is, when you have the money, you'd think you'd be happy with that. Realistically, I'd love a family. But I can't trust women, and every woman I date is divorced it seems like. Nearly every. The reality is most relationships and marriages don't work. It's interesting, because the NEW stats say 40% of first marriages end in divorce. 50+% of second, and 75+% of third. So if you think about it, most people who get married stay married. But why is it 99% of the women in online dating are divorced? It seems like the dating pool is literally the rejects. It's almost like this: these are the people who dropped out of high school, have no diploma. Now they are the left over's competing for retail jobs. While the people who went to college or started a business or learned the trade are successfully employed. Maybe it's not the best analogy but you get the idea.

So true I seek validation from women too much

 

[derby1]

Care to elaborate?

accuse me of saying quite deep stuff I didnt say.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent - Please stop referring to yourself as the "old lady"! You're 53, for Christ's sake. That's young! Hill says that people who refer to themselves as old at a young, ripe age are afraid of old age. And I agree. Stop it! You're so extremely intelligent and bright it baffles me that you partake in this wretched behavior. I want to see your future posts read: "Advice from the young lady..."

I use that tag line in humor to acknowledge the fact that I’m old enough to be the parent of many men here. That and the ribbing I sometimes get for being in my 50s, like geez I must be utterly out of touch and couldn’t possibly be attractive or fit or hot etc. And I get it. When I was 22 I thought 50 something was old. So it’s a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of my age. My son will be 20 this summer and my daughters are now teens, and so I pay attention to the interactions going on in the very young dating pool.

And of course I have my own experience in the dating world as well as having been in the nightlife business, which is essentially a laboratory of the dynamics of human mating behavior.

 

[BeExcellent]

Agreed @catsmeow truly. My locale is the same. Gives me a chuckle. Last night a 35 year old businessman was hitting on me. Laughable in my mind, but true.

Life is quite amusing. Truly.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Agreed @catsmeow truly. My locale is the same. Gives me a chuckle. Last night a 35 year old businessman was hitting on me. Laughable in my mind, but true.

Why would a 35 year old businessman hitting on you be laughable? A lot of men hit on women they want to have sex with especially those that think they have a chance with. To be honest, most men are not stupid. There's a good chance he's been successful with similar woman and that is why he's hitting on you.

I have always taken it as tongue-in-cheek @BeExcellent , and lol at the bolded; many if not most of the guys here believe 30 is old! Broken, damaged, unfit to be in a relationship, unworthy, unattractive, useless, over the hill, post-wall skanks.

Which is so hilarious, they should move to my neck of the woods! Where 30+, 40+ women are highly sought after by high status men as they know how to take of themselves, are physically fit, healthy, good skin, good attitudes and "feminine" (cause I know how you guys love using that word when describing desirable women) whereas the 20 somethings are so skin damaged from laying out in the sun too long, and out of shape cuz they don't think they need to work out, they look like old ladies not to mention possess the worst piss-poor entitled attitudes I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

I am being 100% serious too, that's how it is here, and have heard many men complain about it as well.

But to each his own, our opinions are relative to our experience, so carry on guys, I just find it humorous.

So I guess these men don't want to have kids. To each his own, but there sure are a lot of older woman complaining they can't find a man (or any man). Perhaps they just have high standards and not just feminine enough. Who knows.