Dating gets much better for men as you age. Read on...

[SW15]

Older men can and do date younger women but I think some of the posts on here are a bit delusional in the grander scheme of things. At 30 if you are still in shape and reasonably attractive and normal you can still go out with women that are 25ish, most of the women I've been on dates with over the past couple years were around 23-25. Even if I continue to be fit and take care of myself, I realize that 15 years from now, when I'll be 45, I'm most likely not going to be going out with women that are 23 who aren't gold diggers. This isn't being pessimistic or defeatist or due to a "lack of game", it's just simple reality that father time will show.

I agree with your point on being delusional. As men, we are quick to point out how 30 and 40 something women who refuse to settle are delusional. That's a fair assessment. Let's turn our focus to the typical 40 year old man. The typical unmarried 40 year old man isn't spinning plates of women in their 20s. The typical unmarried 40 year old man doesn't even have a monogamous 25 year old girlfriend. The typical 40 year old man who is unmarried is a sexual scavenger, hope to pick up sexual scraps in a relationship with a 35-40 year old woman. The more typical 40 year old man is married with kids to a same aged woman, and is hoping she doesn't divorce him. Even some better than average unmarried 40 year old men are not dating much younger women.

At 37, I can say that between ages 33-37, which is supposedly when I'm at peak SMV, I haven't seen a big pick up in interest for me. Between 33-37, I've had to work as hard to source prospects or retain extended relationships as I did between 23-27.

As for the childless women, I do know exactly what you are talking about, as I'm originally from the Boston area, but there is ALWAYS a reason why these women are single AND childless. As I've said on this forum before, there is a reason why a woman is 35, still single and has no children. Sure, maybe she was in med school or something hyper-competitive like that, but in the bigger picture this is going to represent a fairly small percentage of women and therefore is irrelevant. Typing about this on here right now reminds me of the t.v show "Sex and the City", a bunch of 30-early 40s single women who struggle in the dating world. The interesting thing is that instead of glamorizing their life at the end of the day the producers ironically showed that these women ended up in some rather undesirable set of circumstances.

You are actually fortunate to be in Boston. There is a culture in the Northeastern United States and the West Coast states towards later in life pairing off, for better or worse. In Dallas, there has historically been a populace that paired off earlier in life. Things have been changing in Dallas due to a lot of transplants coming into the area. It's pretty easy to find 30 something singles in Dallas itself, but once you leave city limits in Dallas, it's all coupled off people, mostly marrieds with kids. If you use swipe apps in Dallas, most of the 30 something singles in Dallas are transplants that have moved around a bit. The typical 35 year old Dallas area resident female who grew up in the area is partnered off, likely from her social circle.

You bring up medical school. Professional women like doctors and lawyers are some of the worst possible girlfriends. They are often more into themselves and their careers than being a good girlfriend. Plus, like any woman, they are strongly hypergamous. You are not worthy of their times unless you are a top 5% income earner and/or top 5% net worth individual. A lot of female doctors and lawyers end up pricing themselves out of the market based upon their unrealistic demands with their poor, career driven attitudes and general selfishness. These women spend more time trying to be like a man than actually positioning themselves to be attractive to men for extended relationships.

Professional women like this are something that 30+ or 35+ men have to deal with when trying to date. If possible, it is best to avoid female doctors and lawyers.

 

[oc16]

Around mid-20s to mid-30s, most social circles become dominated by couples. However, what is important to realize is that a lot of these relationships are transient, even if it takes a while (3-5+ years) for these relationships to fail.

Also, just because a woman is in a relationship, it doesn't mean that she isn't open to jumping ship. Always remember that women specialize in monkey branching.



Access is one of the toughest things. For men in the late 20s to mid 30s (I'm 37), it is amazing to think about the access issue. Even if I pound the pavement hard via daygame and the bars, I'll have access to many more women via swipe apps. It might take 2 hours of lingering around the grocery store to get in 2-3 approaches.

Doing cold approaching takes dedication, sacrifice, and numerous lifestyle adjustments.

I live in a part of my city that is singles dense and it takes me effort to do cold approaching. When needed, I'm cold approaching my gym/fitness classes. When I go to a fitness class, I have to be in that fitness class for 45-60 minutes all for the 5 mins before and 5 mins after class to get in 2-3 approaches. At the gym, it depends upon what time I go and which women are there. I also have to contend with the earbud issue. I have approached women wearing earbuds, though it's not ideal. Lingering around the grocery store or the mall for hours isn't easy. Bar nights are tough. Some of this stuff is more difficult for me as an introvert.



I try to stay off apps but I have some recent experience on them. I'll share some of what has happened on my most recent blitzes. I usually get upset by what's going on within 3 weeks on apps and delete them. Whenever I'm on apps, I have no problem getting matches and getting dates. Hinge has been the most productive of these apps for me. Bumble has gone downhill in recent times but a few years ago, I was popular on it. I have no problem getting dates with 6-7.5 looking women. However, a lot of these dates are dates that don't result in me getting laid on the first date nor do they result in me getting a second date. That's a waste of my time. I'm not upset by a slower seduction (I want to get laid fast, but it doesn't have to be date 1) but I want my first dates to lead to a productive outcome. A lot of women, even childless women in their mid-30s, have more options than any man can imagine, so they'll bail on an interaction if all 30 of their criterion are not met. Additionally, some women are not great catches. In a recent blitz, I had a date with a divorced childless woman
and a never married childless woman who had been out of alcohol rehab. They were both in their mid-30s. Both had baggage, but at least the rehab completer had 4 years of sustained sobriety. For various reasons, I did not offer either a 2nd date.

I would date a childless woman if she were divorced. Single moms are just hit it and quit it. I've had very few interactions with them, but single moms definitely have a shorter relational shelf life than a childless woman.

Childlessness is becoming more common. Childlessness tends to be more of a white woman thing. After age 30, there are many single white women who are childless. They are easy to find on Hinge and Bumble. It wouldn't take too much effort to find them in real life in a major city if in-person time is carefully planned. Good luck finding a Hispanic single woman over 30 who is childless. Millennials born in the 1980s have high rates of childlessness. In 2025, there will be a lot of ~40 year old never married, no children Millennials.

Awesome that you take group fitness classes. I belong to two gyms at the moment, one is La Fitness where they used to offer a bootcamp class (did it for 7 years, then got cancelled) and the other gym is owned by two women who offer just group fitness classes.

I've noticed (atleast in NJ) most men for whatever reason are not into group fitness (only maybe Crossfit) and there are plenty of women in these classes. I met and hung out with a 21 year old (I was 41) and also went out with a Bulgarian (10 years my junior) thanks to these group fitness classes.

You are right, most of these classes you have to do the talking 5 mins before or after.

 

[sangheilios]

I agree with your point on being delusional. As men, we are quick to point out how 30 and 40 something women who refuse to settle are delusional. That's a fair assessment. Let's turn our focus to the typical 40 year old man. The typical unmarried 40 year old man isn't spinning plates of women in their 20s. The typical unmarried 40 year old man doesn't even have a monogamous 25 year old girlfriend. The typical 40 year old man who is unmarried is a sexual scavenger, hope to pick up sexual scraps in a relationship with a 35-40 year old woman. The more typical 40 year old man is married with kids to a same aged woman, and is hoping she doesn't divorce him. Even some better than average unmarried 40 year old men are not dating much younger women.

At 37, I can say that between ages 33-37, which is supposedly when I'm at peak SMV, I haven't seen a big pick up in interest for me. Between 33-37, I've had to work as hard to source prospects or retain extended relationships as I did between 23-27.



You are actually fortunate to be in Boston. There is a culture in the Northeastern United States and the West Coast states towards later in life pairing off, for better or worse. In Dallas, there has historically been a populace that paired off earlier in life. Things have been changing in Dallas due to a lot of transplants coming into the area. It's pretty easy to find 30 something singles in Dallas itself, but once you leave city limits in Dallas, it's all coupled off people, mostly marrieds with kids. If you use swipe apps in Dallas, most of the 30 something singles in Dallas are transplants that have moved around a bit. The typical 35 year old Dallas area resident female who grew up in the area is partnered off, likely from her social circle.

You bring up medical school. Professional women like doctors and lawyers are some of the worst possible girlfriends. They are often more into themselves and their careers than being a good girlfriend. Plus, like any woman, they are strongly hypergamous. You are not worthy of their times unless you are a top 5% income earner and/or top 5% net worth individual. A lot of female doctors and lawyers end up pricing themselves out of the market based upon their unrealistic demands with their poor, career driven attitudes and general selfishness. These women spend more time trying to be like a man than actually positioning themselves to be attractive to men for extended relationships.

Professional women like this are something that 30+ or 35+ men have to deal with when trying to date. If possible, it is best to avoid female doctors and lawyers.

Exactly, the average guy around 40 is totally out of shape and not exactly something that a 25 year old woman is going to go for when she can date men more around her age. Again, there are exceptions and you can still be an attractive man at this age, it just isn't the norm. Hell, I'm 30, in really good shape and most people around my age are already over the hill and look nothing like me.

I'm originally from the Boston area and grew up there but I moved out when I was in my mid 20s, I currently live in AZ. I've noticed that with women who are in very competitive careers where they are more masculine oriented and not really all that interested in being a relationship with a good man, especially since they don't have time for it. There isn't really anything wrong with this so long as they realize they aren't really wired to be wife material.

I remember a time back home when I was in my early 20s I was around this group of youngish nurses, mid-late twenties-early 30s, that were at a family social event. Over the months I had overheard so many stories about how they had such a hard time finding a "good man" to settle down with. These women were pretty average looking but because they had a good paying job they acted entitled to some unicorn type man, it was really bizarre. I think the issue was, which I picked up on overtime, was that all of these women were very similar and in the same type of predicament so they'd kind of circle jerk themselves into building upon this mindset that they had about how great they were and that there were no good men. It got to the point where these women were rejecting men over literally the most trivial things, these women are single for a reason and it shouldn't be hard to figure out what that is.

I've noticed what I've mentioned above where I am currently living but it doesn't seem to be quite as bad. I've mentioned this story on this forum before but I have a friend that worked at a bank and the coworkers set up this fat teller on a date with someone they knew. I guess when she got back they asked her about him and she said that she wasn't interested in him because he was overweight, yet this is coming from a woman who is also overweight lol.

 

[sangheilios]

Awesome that you take group fitness classes. I belong to two gyms at the moment, one is La Fitness where they used to offer a bootcamp class (did it for 7 years, then got cancelled) and the other gym is owned by two women who offer just group fitness classes.

I've noticed (atleast in NJ) most men for whatever reason are not into group fitness (only maybe Crossfit) and there are plenty of women in these classes. I met and hung out with a 21 year old (I was 41) and also went out with a Bulgarian (10 years my junior) thanks to these group fitness classes.

You are right, most of these classes you have to do the talking 5 mins before or after.

I think yoga is a really good one to look into, in my current city they had a yoga for singles night but it never worked out with my schedule, it was literally $5 for the class and you just bring your own mat.

 

[SW15]

Awesome that you take group fitness classes. I belong to two gyms at the moment, one is La Fitness where they used to offer a bootcamp class (did it for 7 years, then got cancelled) and the other gym is owned by two women who offer just group fitness classes.

I've noticed (atleast in NJ) most men for whatever reason are not into group fitness (only maybe Crossfit) and there are plenty of women in these classes. I met and hung out with a 21 year old (I was 41) and also went out with a Bulgarian (10 years my junior) thanks to these group fitness classes.

You are right, most of these classes you have to do the talking 5 mins before or after.

Same stuff happens in Dallas. All group classes are more women than men. The few men I've seen in group fitness classes don't seem to be huge approachers like I have been. I've never gotten anything meaningful out of app swiping, but I have gotten extended relationships out of day approaching, including group fitness. It is a huge time suck to do fitness class approaching, but it is a good venue for approaching.

I'm not sure how this comes back post pandemic.