Dating epiphany phase women as a former nice guy

[JuanSama]

Since I turned into an old man, I've been getting more attention from older women aged 28+. It's not the same attention I get from younger women because those are mostly looking to have fun. No, the old ones want longer term commitment on my part. Some of them tend to shame me with words like "you seem immature because you don't want to settle down" or fear tactics about becoming the old guy at the club. Basically, these women no longer want to spread their legs for chad 24/7, but instead, want someone who they can also build a relationship with.

Thing is, I used to be a nice guy when I was young, so I didn't get much sex at all. Now that I'm getting some, I have trouble justifying why I should settle down with these women. With the younger ones, I have to put on a massive act to get any intimacy because I'm still a nice guy on the inside. I guess older women are attracted to that part of me. But I'm sure that they're gonna be thinking about cheating with chad while ovulating because of the dual mating strategy.

I don't know if this is an ego thing where I can't accept the fact that I'm basically getting chad's leftovers because I didn't get to enjoy these women when they were at their prime. I know plenty of men who happily settled down with women who rode the carousel during their younger years. Or maybe I'm just being smart here.

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

 

[SW15]

the old ones want longer term commitment on my part.

This tends to be a thing for them.

these women no longer want to spread their legs for chad 24/7, but instead, want someone who they can also build a relationship with.

There are some women who will continue to carousel ride into their 30s.

I used to be a nice guy when I was young, so I didn't get much sex at all.

Typical

Now that I'm getting some, I have trouble justifying why I should settle down with these women.

It's a challenging feeling. The women your age right now didn't want you when you were in your teens and early 20s.

In most cases, it isn't the exact same set women. It is different women who are the same age as the prime age women who rejected you a decade ago.

I'm sure that they're gonna be thinking about cheating with chad while ovulating because of the dual mating strategy.

Many of them won't be ovulating because they use birth control.

I don't know if this is an ego thing where I can't accept the fact that I'm basically getting chad's leftovers because I didn't get to enjoy these women when they were at their prime. I know plenty of men who happily settled down with women who rode the carousel during their younger years. Or maybe I'm just being smart here.

If you have elevated SMV now at 30, you still have a good opportunity to seek out women in their early 20s.

I wouldn't rule out a 28-30 year old woman right now solely on her age, but I can see why you would proceed with caution.

You are being smart here.

 

[New_Journey]

Since I turned into an old man

Bad start

It's not the same attention I get from younger women because those are mostly looking to have fun.

Most women are looking to have fun

Some of them tend to shame me with words like "you seem immature because you don't want to settle down" or fear tactics about becoming the old guy at the club.

You respond with "Ok"

Basically, these women no longer want to spread their legs for chad 24/7, but instead, want someone who they can also build a relationship with.

You think women don't want a relationship with Chad?

I used to be a nice guy when I was young

By the way you write, still are

I have trouble justifying why I should settle down with these women.

You don't have to justify $hit to anyone.

I have to put on a massive act to get any intimacy

Explain more, this will be the root cause, write what do you mean by act.

But I'm sure that they're gonna be thinking about cheating with chad while ovulating because of the dual mating strategy.

I got a better idea, why don't you become the guy they wanna cheat with?

I don't know if this is an ego thing where I can't accept the fact that I'm basically getting chad's leftovers because I didn't get to enjoy these women when they were at their prime.

Yes it is an ego $tupid $hit. Why do you give a fvck that Chad fvcked her? How about fvcking her better than Chad and making her your $lut in bed? Have you thought about that? Or you don't think you are enough to compete against Chad?

Do you think Chad is thinking "Oh fvck, this girl was fvcked by this other Chad, yuck, I'm fvcking a leftover"?

Men don't worry about those who they perceived are below him, you think Chad is above you, then become Chad.

I know plenty of men who happily settled down with women who rode the carousel during their younger years.

Cause it doesn't fvcking matter in the end, you'll never gonna know her true body count, so don't worry about it. What you should worry is to fvck as many girls as you can so you don't have to worry about hers.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Now that I'm getting some, I have trouble justifying why I should settle down with these women.

This is your gut telling you this 304s are for recreational use only. Do not give them exclusivity.

I don't know if this is an ego thing where I can't accept the fact that I'm basically getting chad's leftovers because I didn't get to enjoy these women when they were at their prime.

Ego may or may not be a part of it. Too many variables.

I know plenty of men who happily settled down with women who rode the carousel during their younger years.

If they are happy, good for them. Would you be happy marrying a carousel rider? Pump & ghost those girls who are not up to your standards. But ony you get to decide what your standards are.

Or maybe I'm just being smart here.

I think you are. Other members will say you are insecure or something (Maybe they are projecting? Who knows, I dont care enoguh to discuss with them).

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

I think you should talk to @pipeman84 and @Modern Man Advice (if he´s still around). When you get contradicting advice from different members, decide what´s best for you and ignore the rest.

 

[pipeman84]

Since I got tagged by @Dr.Suave I'll give my 3 cents:
- if you're 30 as stated in your profile and consider yourself an old man, you have a big problem right there
- if you want to settle down, then do it with a young woman with as little baggage as possible
- discussing commitment and justifying yourself to women who you know have ridden the carousel or have relationship baggage is not only a waste of time but also demeaning.

 

[maturin]

Keep putting yourself first. Do it until it becomes second nature. That'll kill the nice guy hold over. No special treatment given from the start. Did they earn it? Dump a few who bore you. They aren't measuring up. No explanations required. Did you get explainations? Get in the habit of dumping them. Now you're playing hardball. Nice guy crap never worked. It's the premier method to be taken advantage of.

 

[Gamisch]

Bad start


Most women are looking to have fun


You respond with "Ok"


You think women don't want a relationship with Chad?


By the way you write, still are


You don't have to justify $hit to anyone.


Explain more, this will be the root cause, write what do you mean by act.


I got a better idea, why don't you become the guy they wanna cheat with?


Yes it is an ego $tupid $hit. Why do you give a fvck that Chad fvcked her? How about fvcking her better than Chad and making her your $lut in bed? Have you thought about that? Or you don't think you are enough to compete against Chad?

Do you think Chad is thinking "Oh fvck, this girl was fvcked by this other Chad, yuck, I'm fvcking a leftover"?

Men don't worry about those who they perceived are below him, you think Chad is above you, then become Chad.


Cause it doesn't fvcking matter in the end, you'll never gonna know her true body count, so don't worry about it. What you should worry is to fvck as many girls as you can so you don't have to worry about hers.

I agree with most you said expect that her bodycount doesn't matter. However, I do agree with the fact that you simply can't straight up for that number. Yoiu gotta FEEL it. A small conco will give you all the information you need.

Perhaps you should've added that as long as you also just having fun, her bodycount is irrelevant. The game is to have fun ,untill you meet one that's worth it.

Many men forget that VOLUME is a necessity to increase the chance you find one worth fighting for. Instead they take whatever they can get, go all in and 6 months later it's poof all gone with tons of drama.

If anything, any woman you deal with should feel the pressure that you're one "hello" away from your next conquest.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Since I turned into an old man, I've been getting more attention from older women aged 28+. It's not the same attention I get from younger women because those are mostly looking to have fun. No, the old ones want longer term commitment on my part. Some of them tend to shame me with words like "you seem immature because you don't want to settle down" or fear tactics about becoming the old guy at the club. Basically, these women no longer want to spread their legs for chad 24/7, but instead, want someone who they can also build a relationship with.

Thing is, I used to be a nice guy when I was young, so I didn't get much sex at all. Now that I'm getting some, I have trouble justifying why I should settle down with these women. With the younger ones, I have to put on a massive act to get any intimacy because I'm still a nice guy on the inside. I guess older women are attracted to that part of me. But I'm sure that they're gonna be thinking about cheating with chad while ovulating because of the dual mating strategy.

I don't know if this is an ego thing where I can't accept the fact that I'm basically getting chad's leftovers because I didn't get to enjoy these women when they were at their prime. I know plenty of men who happily settled down with women who rode the carousel during their younger years. Or maybe I'm just being smart here.

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

You're only 30. Date younger women. What's the problem here?

 

[justaroundthecorner]

The body count actually works like that:

None - great for LTE start, she will easily fall in love with you, there is low chance she will cheat on you unless you will provoke such behaviour (usually by cheating on her), it is perfect for LTR start, LTR resistance for crisis should be high unless one of you is mentally immature

Low (1-2, no LTRs longer than 1,5 year) - very good for LTR start, some issues arising from her previous relationships, alas usually nothing that cannot be managed, LTR resistance for crisis should be rather high

Lower Medium (3-6 or usually at least one long LTR) - you will have some overwriting challenges here and there, she will be more willing to leave you if your behaviour will be suboptimal, resistance for crisis shall be dependent upon enforcing relationship boundaries (in which case it may be quite high) or leaving them as they are (in which case she may monkey branch if better prospect will arise)

Medium- high (7-12) expect higher expectations from her and receiving less for your input - she was left by her boyfriends and also left some of them out of her own will - now she will do a lot to leave first on her own terms if things will go bad between you two. Around this point some normal women convert to gold-diggers or "refurbished" princesses.

High (13-20) - she is not an LTR material. Expect transactional relationship - you will get poor, sick or bad looking - expect to be left without remorse. Expect that your money will be used to finance her agenda/offspring from previous relationships. Monkey branching and cheating probability is high.

Very High (+21) - she liked to taste life a lot before you happened and either it shall be disaster or you are one of apostles of chaos ruled by emotions and disorder and more or less you do not care if it will go wrong or not. It will go somehow, which shall need to be enough for you as you should expect anything else than emotional stability. She might have a lot of tattoos, perhaps one with word "love".

 

[jhonny9546]

@JuanSama
Me 2 started late. I perfectly understand what you mean with

I don't know if this is an ego thing where I can't accept the fact that I'm basically getting chad's leftovers because I didn't get to enjoy these women when they were at their prime. I know plenty of men who happily settled down with women who rode the carousel during their younger years. Or maybe I'm just being smart here.

You see it like an opportunity.

Think of it in terms of the market: a product has an expiration date or planned obsolescence. Eventually, women may settle down. This does not mean that she won’t cheat; if the opportunity arises, she might. If she is not completely a freak and has perhaps just come out of a long relationship without children, you might find that you are compatible, and you could live your life happily and enjoyably together. However, always remember that a man is typically complete in his life. Women, when they do not have goals of having children, may primarily serve the purposes of companionship and sex. If she does not want to provide you with these two things, next. The discussion changes significantly if you have children, a family, and everything else.

But, something I've learnt along the way: the most beautiful and powerful thing you can say to a woman is that "you don't need her".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you are still a nice guy on the inside then it's all a dog and pony show and these women will figure it out pretty quickly.

 

[New_Journey]

A small conco will give you all the information you need.

Men who look for chastity are lying to themselves, they're not looking for chastity, they are looking for women who lie better, but I digress

The body count actually works like that:

None - great for LTE start, she will easily fall in love with you, there is low chance she will cheat on you unless you will provoke such behaviour (usually by cheating on her), it is perfect for LTR start, LTR resistance for crisis should be high unless one of you is mentally immature

Low (1-2, no LTRs longer than 1,5 year) - very good for LTR start, some issues arising from her previous relationships, alas usually nothing that cannot be managed, LTR resistance for crisis should be rather high

Lower Medium (3-6 or usually at least one long LTR) - you will have some overwriting challenges here and there, she will be more willing to leave you if your behaviour will be suboptimal, resistance for crisis shall be dependent upon enforcing relationship boundaries (in which case it may be quite high) or leaving them as they are (in which case she may monkey branch if better prospect will arise)

Medium- high (7-12) expect higher expectations from her and receiving less for your input - she was left by her boyfriends and also left some of them out of her own will - now she will do a lot to leave first on her own terms if things will go bad between you two. Around this point some normal women convert to gold-diggers or "refurbished" princesses.

High (13-20) - she is not an LTR material. Expect transactional relationship - you will get poor, sick or bad looking - expect to be left without remorse. Expect that your money will be used to finance her agenda/offspring from previous relationships. Monkey branching and cheating probability is high.

Very High (+21) - she liked to taste life a lot before you happened and either it shall be disaster or you are one of apostles of chaos ruled by emotions and disorder and more or less you do not care if it will go wrong or not. It will go somehow, which shall need to be enough for you as you should expect anything else than emotional stability. She might have a lot of tattoos, perhaps one with word "love".

Oh look a scientist. Show us the research and you came up with those numbers

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Men who look for chastity are lying to themselves, they're not looking for chastity, they are looking for women who lie better, but I digress


Oh look a scientist. Show us the research and you came up with those numbers

Is this is your biceps on the photo? If yes and you are dating a stripper or former prostitute I can tell you only one thing right in your face - she is as good as virgin! Good for you! Btw. hot, hot biceps.

 

[New_Journey]

Is this is your biceps on the photo? If yes and you are dating a stripper or former prostitute I can tell you only one thing right in your face - she is as good as virgin! Good for you! Btw. hot, hot biceps.

So you come here posting numbers like everyone should believe what you say, and then you want to defend it by giving examples of:

1. Prostitute
2. A virgin

So according to you, those two extremes are good enough evidence for you to conclude your theory, as if it were no grey area just binary thinking like nice guys do. Not good my friend.

she is as good as virgin!

Good at what? Explain

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Nah it's just me teasing with you and saying (out of experience) that every guy dating "experienced" women likes to strike various rationalisations about this fact (just like you do), I give you some examples of comments full of rationalisation:
- other guys are slut-shaming!
- experienced women are better in bed!
- smart guys understand that women have their needs and support this idea!
- incels like to tell women how they should behave, but women actually know better!
- Men who look for chastity are lying to themselves, they're not looking for chastity, they are looking for women who lie better, but I digress
- smart females know what they want and noone will tell them what to do
- experienced man likes experienced women!

At least one of the comments above should be familiar to you. Now, I will tell you out of experience that I have dated both experienced females and virgins and I would take virgin or low-body count female ALWAYS over a mid to high body count female. It is the best possible experience with female. It's THE catch if you are into particular female. It is like taking a fresh fruit from the tree. It's ALL Yours.

Tbh every guy deep in his heart wants to be the first and only guy that his female of choice slept with. But life is life and the most of guys (thankfully, not me) needs to deal with the opposite. I simply decided that I will not tolerate any other guy experiencing female I will spend my life with and I roll with this motto successfully so far - if other guys would have my mentality regarding this matter, you would not live in the world full of only fans prostitutes or single mothers looking for betabuxxers but men are, in overall, weak when it comes to their egos and childish when it comes to their mental durability for stressors coming from female behaviour.

What I wrote above might be a generalisation, but in overall that's how sexual experience works with females (it messes them up). It does not work the same with males as it requires much more effort from us. This generalisation is still better than any weak opinion like "experienced females are the best". Right.

 

[SW15]

You're only 30. Date younger women.

30 is still a good point for men with being able to attract younger women.

It gets more difficult starting around 35.

 

[New_Journey]

Now, I will tell you out of experience that I have dated both experienced females and virgins

Doubt.