Dating coach

[Travel memoir21]

Im guessing you are dating women around your own age and not 18 years olds. And if that’s the case, women around your age don’t want to talk about “passions” and “books”, they want get f*cked hard. They want to know they are still attractive at their age.

33 year old women? She’s likely been f*cked by 12 guys in last little while, and “suddenly“ she wants to talk about “books.” while her stock is crashing, lol.

What if she's a writer and an english major?

Would talking about books help? lol

 

[Serenity]

I at times got a bit of feedback of the girls and some of them said that i was trying too hard. so i tried to change it.

Are you genuinely having fun with these interactions? I had the same experience for a while and my solution to it was to go way outside the box. I just let go of everything, didn't care about any sort of performance. I became completely overtaken by curiosity, even doing things I gave about a snowballs chance in hell of succeeding just to see what actually happens.

Before this I had seen most of what there was to see about pickup, dating etc. and built up this expectation out of it. Turns out all I had to do was let go and not fear judgement, to be bold. I went from "following procedure" to "let's fvck around and see what happens". To my surprise at the time the unexpected worked better than anything I expected to work.

Forget results, just fvck around and enjoy the ride.

 

[marlon792]

Yes absolutely. After my divorce while still blue pilled, my dating success was like you described. I seemed to do well on online dating (I had not learned about cold approaching at that point) in terms of getting dates with good looking girls, and not all but the majority of them would be into me on the first date, but if I liked them and chose to continue dating them, eventually whether it was the 2nd date, 3rd date, or 2nd month into dating, I would get dumped. Every single time. And it is for the very reasons I mentioned in my previous post, but also because I often wouldn't escalate quickly enough which is something I learned to do later. What was worse was that I'd see the guys they'd date immediately after me. These guys were like 3-5 points below my SMV in looks. But they must have had more game than I did back then.

I found it helpful to follow a script at first. Scripts are not ideal because each situation is nuanced and you have to read the situation to know exactly what to do. But when you are first starting out or if you find that you are uncalibrated, how can you properly read the situation with uncalibrated radar? You can't, which is why you go with scripts. The scripts will fail you on occasion, but they will succeed more often than not, and more importantly, they go against what your inner voice keeps telling you to do and you need that in order to change your behavior and recalibrate yourself - you need to do something you don't think will work while that inner voice keeps telling you to do what you normally do, and then once you see the script working, you realize that inner voice has been misguiding you. Some examples of scripts are: Never setup another date while on a date or immediately after, wait 3-5 days after a date before texting the girl (it's ok to reply if she initiates texting with you), if she is slow to respond to your texts then you should be as slow if not slower to respond to hers, use texting 90% to setup dates and 10% to keep dialogue open (most guys do the opposite), don't let her know your whole life story - dole it out slowly over many dates and instead focus more on her, don't be afraid to disagree with her. Those are just a few things - there are many more.

yeah those are really great points. some things that i have changed are that i dont tell her my whole lifestory during a date. and i dont text too soon after the date. i mirror her texting response time etc and make sure i am not investing significantly more than her. also, i read on sosuave that someone makes it a rule to disagree with a girl on a date at least once. i think that is something that could help me, as i can be a bit agreeable. would you say that following this script that you described, solved most of your problems wrt this? thanks again for your great help !!

 

[marlon792]

Are you genuinely having fun with these interactions? I had the same experience for a while and my solution to it was to go way outside the box. I just let go of everything, didn't care about any sort of performance. I became completely overtaken by curiosity, even doing things I gave about a snowballs chance in hell of succeeding just to see what actually happens.

Before this I had seen most of what there was to see about pickup, dating etc. and built up this expectation out of it. Turns out all I had to do was let go and not fear judgement, to be bold. I went from "following procedure" to "let's fvck around and see what happens". To my surprise at the time the unexpected worked better than anything I expected to work.

Forget results, just fvck around and enjoy the ride.

yeah that is a good point. so in your opinion, it is more internal game, than actual scripts/tricks?

 

[marlon792]

Im guessing you are dating women around your own age and not 18 years olds. And if that’s the case, women around your age don’t want to talk about “passions” and “books”, they want get f*cked hard. They want to know they are still attractive at their age.

33 year old women? She’s likely been f*cked by 12 guys in last little while, and “suddenly“ she wants to talk about “books.” while her stock is crashing, lol.

hahaha fair point. she was 22-23 years old and we connected both personally and there was attraction. but i will keep this in miind. thanks amigo

 

[Serenity]

yeah that is a good point. so in your opinion, it is more internal game, than actual scripts/tricks?

That's what worked out for me at least. I had fun, they had fun and if they didn't I would just go find someone else who's fun. It's a very simple and easy to follow concept. "Scripts" and "tricks" just overcomplicates everything and sucks the fun right out of it.

 

[marlon792]

That's what worked out for me at least. I had fun, they had fun and if they didn't I would just go find someone else who's fun. It's a very simple and easy to follow concept. "Scripts" and "tricks" just overcomplicates everything and sucks the fun right out of it.

yeah good point indeed... i had a date yesterday and followed this logic. I like it and it takes the pressure off a bit

 

[inner_game]

Some examples of scripts are: Never setup another date while on a date or immediately after, wait 3-5 days after a date before texting the girl (it's ok to reply if she initiates texting with you), if she is slow to respond to your texts then you should be as slow if not slower to respond to hers, use texting 90% to setup dates and 10% to keep dialogue open (most guys do the opposite), don't let her know your whole life story - dole it out slowly over many dates and instead focus more on her, don't be afraid to disagree with her. Those are just a few things - there are many more.

Can you share some others?

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

I actually offer a free call to any guy to help go through their problems and what they need to improve.

Let me know if you are interested (that goes for anyone else too!)

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thhis is really great advice, thanks oldmanofthesea. i notice that on a date with a cute girl, i am constantly checking whether she is liking me, how i think the date is going etc.... Gradually, as i date more, i become more relaxed and the feeling of having more options is helping with that.

I do try to do a bit of daygame and i get some numbers from a few dates. i really like doing this. i feel that i am comfortabel in appraoching girls and can hold up a conversation. the girls mostly start flaking when i am into her... perhaps they notice it and it reduces their interest a bit. it is very frustrating though... have you had this as well?

You need to start assuming she is into you because she is already out with you. You can't be in the moment with her if you are constantly trying to analyze things. Quiet your mind.

Once you make this shift mentally your actions will subconsciously follow and it will help you in ways that are hard to explain but definitely are there.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The whole point of a man going on a date with a woman, is the elephant in the room: is your P going to go into her V? It could be that day. Or, down the road, after you marry her. But that is the goal of men/woman dating. Otherwise, just hang out, get drinks & watch the game with a buddy. You must make her view you as sexually desireable. How? Your looks & your game.