dating... a woman's game

[wifehunter]

Been giving serious thought about the status quo in the area of dating. On another forum, they were saying the cards are stacked against us guys, and that women will always have the upper-hand/advantage in the area of dating. Interestingly, I've always had a gut level aversion to it, because of all the unsaid rules and regulations. Never felt comfortable or at peace while on any dates.

I know here on sosuave.com you all look at dates as a solid IOI indicator, so I expect there will be some disagreement. I'm very interested in hearing some different perspectives!

 

[marmel75]

Women have had and always will have the upper hand because they do the choosing and men do the pursuing, at least at first. If you don't like the way it works, just move to Tibet and become a monk or something.

You need to work on yourself first if you don't feel comfortable on dates. i got to the point where I was so comfortable I was making my dates nervous. Once you get to that point, you are halfway home...

 

[NSX-R]

If you mean a date is only when you go out only for a coffee or to a bar then you are terribly mistaken. This is the mainstream way and it's not always working.
Doing action dates like going for bowling, basket,football or anything you would usually do with your friends is going to create a special image of yourself to the chick you're interested to and most importantly you're gonna have fun and be comfortable.

Unfortunately there is no other way to get a girl into liking you.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Girls are masters at spinning plates, it's just the way it is. An attractive girl, heck even a 6 or 7 is always going to be at least "talking to someone" if not more.

So yeah, I'd agree it's a woman's game, especially with the advent of online dating where a girl can set up a profile and instantly get 10 guys to message her right off the bat.

That's why a guy who is spinning plates is more attractive. He flips the script.

 

[bigneil]

Men and women must be equal. It's simply the sad fact that alpha females always have the upper hand over beta males.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Women have had and always will have the upper hand because they do the choosing and men do the pursuing, at least at first. If you don't like the way it works, just move to Tibet and become a monk or something.

You need to work on yourself first if you don't feel comfortable on dates. i got to the point where I was so comfortable I was making my dates nervous. Once you get to that point, you are halfway home...

Rock solid confidence.

 

[Robert28]

Just make sure when you do work on yourself for awhile that you also raise your standards to match your improvement. What I mean is these girls that are giving you a hard time now, might be the same ones who think they are worth your time after you improve yourself. Don't fall for it and don't lower your standards for them. They're old news, they had their chance and missed out. Make that known too.

 

[AllDay85]

Just make sure when you do work on yourself for awhile that you also raise your standards to match your improvement. What I mean is these girls that are giving you a hard time now, might be the same ones who think they are worth your time after you improve yourself. Don't fall for it and don't lower your standards for them. They're old news, they had their chance and missed out. Make that known too.

I don't believe in making it known, at least not blatantly. Let them hear through the grapevine, let them see other women tag you in social media, let them see you out in public with her, but don't telegraph it. Many women will see through this and rationalize it.

 

[old_skoolr]

I believe the older you get the easier it becomes.

Once you have experience in dealing with women and the bvll**** situations that come with them. You can help identify them and take the right course of action. Also the so called 'biological clock' that is apparently ticking makes women desperate as they get older. Mix this with a strong inner game where you are completely accepting of yourself and who you are, and you will succeed.

Let the woman have their game, a DJ does not care for games, because he has won the moment she chose to play it.

 

[Lozboss]

OP- I'll let you into a secret.

If you're good - it becomes YOUR GAME.

What we discuss and teach is how to get good. That starts with self improvement (lifting, clothing etc) and is then put into practice on dates.

You undergo sh*t tests, you fail some, you learn from it. Till aftera while you are so tuned in that you pass them and sometimes you don't notice it was a test until after the date. It becomes second nature.

The average man is so poor, most are betas and the 'alphas' are self centered arseholes who turn off most Alpha females.

It's sh*tty at the start, but you'll soon find that with practice and more importantly your own personal development you'll really enjoy dates as you can sit back and enjoy the experience.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't believe in making it known, at least not blatantly. Let them hear through the grapevine, let them see other women tag you in social media, let them see you out in public with her, but don't telegraph it. Many women will see through this and rationalize it.

Co-sign on allowing the "grapevine" to speak. Also co-sign on allow social proofing and let them see you with other women. It helps a lot.

 

[Robert28]

I don't believe in making it known, at least not blatantly. Let them hear through the grapevine, let them see other women tag you in social media, let them see you out in public with her, but don't telegraph it. Many women will see through this and rationalize it.

I don't mean seek them out, but if they come to you (and they will, had it happen many times) don't be afraid to hurt their feelings and tell them to f off.

 

[El Payaso]

Yes, it is heavily stacked in women's favor but there are ways you can make it work in your favor. Is it hard? Of course but most good things don't come easy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've only ever encountered one legit alpha-female in my entire life. And, she disturbed my sense of reality so much that it was my red-pill awakening.

All women hated her, because they saw her as a threat (and they were right; she could have chosen from any of their boyfriends TBH). She only seemed to spend time with orbiters and FWB. I unwittingly became her orbiter, and she was f*cking brutal. One time she even replaced me on a 'date'. She was the extreme of feminine sexuality and craftiness. Spending time with her was like taking a crap on my soul. Good times; I owe that b*tch a lot lmao.

I would love to meet her kind again to see how the red-pill me would fare.

After her did she make you appreciate more submissive and feminine females that much more?

 

[AttackFormation]

No, quite the opposite. She made me rather disdainful to any woman that submits easily - though, that was a phase I'm over now. She was my red-pill moment: after her, I focused on game, red-pill theories, psychology, fitness, and anything that would make me stronger. Like a boxer training for a big fight, I was making myself strong enough to dominate a woman like that. But, I've never met such a powerful woman since: with the potent mixture of attractiveness, sexuality, intelligence, and callousness.

This is all years ago now, but a woman like that can make or break a man. It made me 10x better. If I met her kind again, I'm confident that I would f*ck her physically and psychologically - though I doubt I have the energy to keep her type for long, because I'm not a natural alpha-male, and would tire of the aggravation (same with any woman, just more so).

I hear a lot of talk of alpha-females, but meeting one is very rare in my experience. Most women just put up a front the same way men do. Think how rare the alpha-male really is (Vince Mcmahon, Donald Trump, Vladamir Putin) for example.

lol... dominated by a woman, pathetic...

 

[AttackFormation]

Sh*t happens; it's how you respond that shows the strength of character.

Your posts are normally of a better quality than this. It's not like you've never heard of an alpha woman/ beta male dynamic before.

It's because I don't subscribe to the idea of an "alpha woman", a concept that makes me laugh while typing it, and the fact that men compare themselves to women in this way disgusts me. It's a sign of what a low point the rearing of men is at today. The dynamic is just "beta male".

I didn't mean to attack you, I just stated the truth. And most/all of us have gone through being (more) beta anyway, my point was that being beta is pathetic and must be seen as such.

 

[AttackFormation]

However, for your, and our, purposes, the dynamic might as well be 'just beta male'. It serves our purposes just fine, keeps things simple (therefore effective), and is the most practical philosophy. I accept that talk of the alpha female can be brushed off as superfluous information, but I object to it being brushed off as a figment of beta weakness.

This is getting into petty details, but it is a figment of beta weakness because if you're not a weak man then women can't control you. In other words, it stems from the man being weak and not the state of the woman. Only a man who thinks himself comparable to women would think there is any relevance to something like an "alpha woman". You think gorillas give a sh!t? tigers? lions? chimps? bulls? dogs? it's a concept that only women should think about.

Anyway let's stop it here, this isn't really a discussion of game which imo should be the priority.

 

[Colossus]

Women tend to hold the cards early in dating, but this is largely dependent on age your own value as a male. The higher your value, the less of a commodity you are the more choosy you can be. If you are consistently failing in dating, then you are either dating "up", or your relative value as a single male is just poor. I also think men today in general are way too needy and do not utilize their #1 trump card as a male---the ability to do an about face and WALK AWAY from an uninterested women. Stop wasting your time trying to conjure up interest or win her back or regain the frame with a girl you've been dating less than 3 months. There are SO many beautiful women out there---truly they are a dime a dozen and most of them are not that special either. Accept this and you see the world in a whole new light.

 

[macallik]

This conversations seems mighty AFC to me. Do you think guys that are successful with women are thinking about "whether women have it easy?"

 

[wifehunter]

This conversations seems mighty AFC to me. Do you think guys that are successful with women are thinking about "whether women have it easy?"

Funny, I don't date. I frequent places on a daily basis, and am weekly seeing 4 plates. No, you don't need to date to get ladies like you. You just need exposure. Too poor to date anyway, my businesses are just now gaining traction, it's been two years. Hoping this new year will be a good one. Cheers guys!!!