Dating a woman who makes more money than me?

[StevenR]

I recently met a gal and have started to date her. A couple weeks ago I took her to a local Mexican Restaurant, and we seemed to get along and had a little make out session afterward. I was thinking of asking her for dinner at my place but most people advised me to take is slow, so I asked her to go to the local art museum this last saturday(of which she is actually a member I find out). After that we went and had dinner, and afterwards we had an even more intense makeout session. It didn't go any farther and I already knew she had to get up early to go on a ski trip she planned with her girlfriend and girlfriends husband.

Some people earlier suggested that if it got that far on a second date I should ask her to come over to my place to watch a movie or something. I decided(okay, chickened out) to ask her next time since I knew she had to get up early, but after we were done making out she came back to make sure I knew how to find my way back okay(we were by our cars), and we started making out again. I thought maybe she wanted something more and did ask her if she wanted to get a movie. She said tonight wouldn't be a good night, and we kissed goodbye.

The advice I was given on SS was if she turned down my offer for a movie her interest level is probably not all that high, and I should act aloof for awhile. However, that wasn't the feeling I got, but I am not sure how to proceed exactly. I am thinking of asking her over possibly next Friday anyway.

There are a couple things that do make me feel a little insecure with her. First, she is an attorney and she drives a really nice car and has a house. I recently quit my job and am surviving with my photography business, which unfortunately business is slower than I had hoped, especially this month, so I am struggling financially. Not only that, I learned that her last boyfriend was a multi millionaire business owner, not just a small business either. He could afford to take her on weekend trips to Monte Carlo on his private jet.

She is also used to eating at very upscale places on a regular basis and traveling the world(which I would love to do if I could afford to right now). I obviously cannot take weekend trips to Europe and stay in the most expensive hotels on a whim and stuff like that, although so far I kinda like her, she is also a few years younger than I am, I think she just turned 30. Any advice on how to take things further at this point? Another question I have is has anyone here dated a woman like this, who are not wealthy themselves? How did it turn out? Was money an issue in the relationship?

 

[sodbuster]

Try it and see how it turns out. You may just be a FB,but-whatever. I've dated women who made decent money with attitudes, and some who didn't.It all depends on the womans basic personality. If money is going to be an issue with her[life with her will suck also, she'll look for other things to complain about],you are better off without her. If It was a major issue, she would have kept the last BF.

As far as her ACTUAL income, I would want to see her w-2 before I believe it. She may be fronting the lawyer image and have less in the bank than you do.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Steven,
Another wise post by Sodbuster....My mate has recently been taking out a Woman who puts out that she is a Lawyer,another acquaintence informs that she is really just a Lawyers clerk......maybe your woman is rich,don't get a cringe about it"all that glisters is not gold",you have skills and she likes you...whatever people have they generally take for granted...This is not to say that there aren't problems....Some years ago I made it with a Rich (by my standards)woman I found it demeaning to be a toy boy,your Lady probably got the same feeling with her Sugar Daddy...At some stage it will be necessary to have a little chat about your relative wealth in the mean time just cruise.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

Her financial status will only be important if you act like it's important. I would ignore it entirely.

Also, don't let that story about the guy with the jet and trips to Monte Carlo build up in your head too much. Chances are she's built it up plenty already.

 

[Warrior74]

The woman I am dating makes more than twice what I make, probably more. Used to a lot of finer things. But here is the deal. Get her life story. Find out who she was before the money. Find out who she really is and date that person. The money is just a product of who she is. You are not your bank account, you are not your kakhis (fight club theory right? lol). My chic grew up dirt poor and worked her ass off to get there. But she's a real person on the inside, not some corporate drone. She likes me because she feels she can be a real person, she can relax with me, she can be herself and I make her feel like a woman. I'm not afraid of her money, hell her money just makes things easier for us to be together. She still wants a man to lead her and guide her and support her. She wants a man to serve and support as well. She is still a woman at heart and never forget that. She is with you for the man you are not for what you have, isn't that what a lot of men want? I'm sure a gold digger after what you have would not make you happy. Think about it. Good Luck!

 

[Janez]

I just read the title and nothing else. As I don't really want to read much.

Dating a woman with more money than u have.. Well that is just great. If she can't sexually and mentally satisfy you, well then she can at least finnancially satisfy you. If not, no problem, you can still date a woman that earns less than you.

 

[StevenR]

The woman I am dating makes more than twice what I make, probably more. Used to a lot of finer things. But here is the deal. Get her life story. Find out who she was before the money. Find out who she really is and date that person. The money is just a product of who she is. You are not your bank account, you are not your kakhis (fight club theory right? lol). My chic grew up dirt poor and worked her ass off to get there. But she's a real person on the inside, not some corporate drone. She likes me because she feels she can be a real person, she can relax with me, she can be herself and I make her feel like a woman. I'm not afraid of her money, hell her money just makes things easier for us to be together. She still wants a man to lead her and guide her and support her. She wants a man to serve and support as well. She is still a woman at heart and never forget that. She is with you for the man you are not for what you have, isn't that what a lot of men want? I'm sure a gold digger after what you have would not make you happy. Think about it. Good Luck!

I think her life story, financially speaking, is that she comes from what so-called "old money". Both her parents and her are Ivy League graduates, the guy she previously dated was also from an old money family and was pretty much given the family business.

My parents are well educated and financially well off too(I am fairly well educated but not financially well off). However, unlike her ex, I wasn't just given the family business to run. My folks built the family business from nothing and worked all their lives to build it up, they didn't inherit it themselves so they are not "old money".

My parents helped me with my education but they expected me to make it on my own once out of school. I am not sure how exactly that works in old money families, why their kids inherit so much wealth when their parents are still alive and healthy. But I agree with you in that money doesn't make a person who they are, it is nice to have but you can lose it and then you are an ordinary person. I also don't believe in doing something I hate just for money, which is probably why I am relatively poor now. I also think I have some major self esteem issues because I have not been able to accomplish anything close to what my father has done so far.

Anyway, I asked her over for dinner this weekend, and she said she was busy but she counter offered to take me to a movie and dinner the next day. So I figure she is still interested but wants to take it slow for some reason? We have already had a couple makout sessions at the end of our first and second times out, so I thought she would be primed and ready but apparently I moved too fast or something. Every woman is different I guess.

Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention, there is this older Asian chick that seems to like me, I am on one of those online dating sites as well and she contacted me. She is older than I am, in her 40's but she has an incredible body, better than many 20 year olds! She treated me for dinner and I promised her a photo session and she is coming over to my place this evening. I am not really interested in anything more than a FB, even though she is a fun person to be around. She actually wanted to come over to my place after dinner last time but I wasn't prepared as it was a mess. Do you guys think she just wants to have sex with me still? Should I when I am pursuing this other woman?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Steven,
If your Lady is busy all weekend then chances are she is frying fatter fish.....Your Asian Lady sounds nice....If she is Chinese and you think she is fourty she may well be fifty....If they don't get hooked on our food they stay young forever....Remember that ****y and funny will be a mystery to her,in general they have a very basic sense of humour....They are very sensitive about body odour too so take care....You have the ideal set up being a photographer gives you plenty of licence to touch...In general they are pretty free and easy with their favours...the ones I have met are into Classical Music for vocals Andre Bochelli goes down well...Spend a little time with her it will be an interesting experience.

 

[StevenR]

she may or may not be frying fatter fish, but as long as she wants to keep seeing me I will assume there is some interest there and keep trying(to a point). Maybe she has romantic notions about making love for the first time on Valentines day or something like that, and she is holding off until then. Of course I could care less what day I happen to get some on and will keep trying lol.
We are going to meet on Sunday to see an alternative film and go eat dinner afterward. Since she invited me, is it kinda the dating etiquette that she at least offers to pay in that case? If she does should I just accept it straight, or should I at least offer to go Dutch? The whole idea of not paying for a date outside of a relationship is foreign to me, a few women have done it in the past but they were older and I wasn't as enthralled by them anyway. I want to make sure I do everything right and don't screw up here.

 

[sodbuster]

I think you'll screw it up-you are WAY overthinking this one. RELAX, right now your sphincter is so puckered you can't even fart. SW,SW,SW, NEXT.[old salesmans saying-some will,some won't,so what,next]

 

[StevenR]

Well, in the past, it seems that women would go cold on me for no apparent reason at all, so I go over in my head what I said or did wrong to screw it up. The other thing I wonder, is if she is banging some other guy earlier in the weekend, why would she be interested in hanging out with me at all? Just to lead me on? If she is getting great sex from some alpha male she should be so enamored with him she wouldn't even care about me in the least.

 

[The Conquistador]

A woman makes more than me? Great! She can buy the condoms and lube then.

 

[Mr. Me]

Steve, you're a photographer. So, instead of looking at negatives, see what develops.

 

[Duffdog]

Steve, you're a photographer. So, instead of looking at negatives, see what develops.

Boooo... photography and bad jokes don't go together.

Seriously, as a photographer, you should be used to controlling the situation--not being controlled by it. Not too many models will tell you the best way to shoot them. Treat this girl as if she is in front of the lens, I bet you will go much further that way.

 

[StevenR]

Here is an update on my situation, we went out yesterday to a movie and dinner at a nearby cafe afterwards, then we had another heavy makeout session in her car. However, that is as far as I got and she didn't seem ready to go all the way. I think I mentioned up above that I invited her over for dinner but she said she was busy the night I asked her, and she offered the movie and dinner idea for the following day(sunday) instead. She paid for the movie and dinner and I paid for the popcorn and tip, so I don't think she is just using me. But this is the third date and our third makeout session and no sex yet.
So what should be my next move? Next weekend of course happens to be Valentines day, I am wondering if I should play it safe and just take her out to dinner or ask her over for dinner at my place again. Or is that too much pressure to put on her?

 

[jophil28]

So what should be my next move? Next weekend of course happens to be Valentines day, I am wondering if I should play it safe and just take her out to dinner or ask her over for dinner at my place again. Or is that too much pressure to put on her?

Just do it... you are overthinking this a little. She is good to go..woman make themselves subtley 'available' to the right man.
Invite her to your place and cook her dinner with some great wine...and then get BOLD.
If she has dated you three times she is interested and if she is making out, she is getting warmed up for the inevitable. She probably wants it as much as you, but quality women rarely go for the zipper ahead of the guy.

 

[Mr. Me]

Valentine's Day is for your committed girl friend, fiance or wife.

 

[StevenR]

We are in that gray area between some sort of relationship and just dating, and I guess she would probably expect something, I would do something with her on the weekend(as in go out on a date) even if it wasn't Valentines day. Stupid valentines day makes me feel like have to be this master strategist and figure out what is just right without overdoing it and without doing enough. It friggin drives me crazy, I thought this stupid day was bad enough when I was either single or figuring out what to do when already in a committed relationship.

 

[Mr. Me]

We are in that gray area between some sort of relationship and just dating, and I guess she would probably expect something

The thing is, you're not in a relationship with her where she can expect there'll be a celebration of Valentine's day, so save yourself the mind reading act. You're revering her a bit much, it seems in your posts, or is it that you're giving yourself away a bit much? Let her ask you out if she wants to do something with you on that day.

 

[StevenR]

So, do something active, would you go somewhere outdoors that involved a 2 or 3 hour drive in the middle of winter? If she already likes me it seems a lot less risky to take her to a nice restaurant, especially since Valentines is supposed to be about romance not high adventure, even if we aren't specifically celebrating V-day. I was thinking high adventure sort of stuff, like taking her skiing, flying, the mountains, a national park, etc. would be better a little later on when we are more comfortable around each other. She has a nicer car than I do too, she drives a nice Mercedes and I have a pickup truck.