Crusade of the Knight: A Journal.

[novaknight]

Entry 10

Oh god...
Not aggain. She was in a group. Couldn't approach.
Out of anger, I decided to redeem myself today.

I talked to two guys trying to make friends. And I also just started chatting up another girl. Oddly enough...this time I used no openers. I just used whatever was happening around me as fodder for conversation. I got lucky with that. I tried number closing. She claimed she didn't have a phone (which I believe is bull****). Oh well. Better luck next time.

Today raised my confidence though. I just realized that I CAN talk to girls without canned openers (providing that there's stuff going on around me, like bad weather or odd events).

Tommorow I have a challenge. I will approach her. Whether it's a group set or not. Even if I don't get that perfect chance for an isolated encounter...I better devise a plan of action to counter that. I have thought of some openers that are great for a female audience. So even if there's other girls there...it'll be no problem.

Talking to those people though...I feel that it improves my generally shoddy social skills. I am going to do that more often. Just talking to people and enjoying their company. Cause hey, I'll be honest, it's actually kinda fun.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Dude! I know exactly what you mean about talking to people and just enjoying their company, its very fun. Oh well about the girl, just go for it even if shes in a group, think about it as expanding your social circle.

Openers are great when you don't have to think alot. Now go and make me proud buddy!

 

[novaknight]

Dude! I know exactly what you mean about talking to people and just enjoying their company, its very fun. Oh well about the girl, just go for it even if shes in a group, think about it as expanding your social circle.

Openers are great when you don't have to think alot. Now go and make me proud buddy!

I just got her number this morning!
Can't believe it I'll post more when home from school

 

[Nino-Tk]

Damn bra! Its night time here...the time zones I guess, way to go playah!

 

[novaknight]

Entry 11: Field Report, The Number!

Number closed today, early in the day. I told myself that if I don't number close, I would commit the horrid sin of being a *****, the opposite of a man.

Honestly, I forgot my opener. My opener was supposed to be about Twilight, cause girls either hate it or love it. Most girls love Twilight (I personally don't like it at all, I think its kinda gay).

I approached though. I thought I was gonna blow it. But somehow...I didn't!
I was able to make up my own opener. It was really simple, about a break from school. And then I was able to smoothly transition to the number. She texted me.

Texted her during the day, saying that I might catch her in her classroom at the end of the day, where I say hi sometimes. Apparantly I found her, but dang, my sticking point is groups. I could not isolate her and flirt. She said hi, and she said she received a text from me. "Hey, looks like you found me", she said smiling.

I wished her a good weekend and we went our way. Then I got a text from her asking what the Nova is doing this weekend. No, she didn't ask me out.

I feel that today, my game wasn't that solid, from a technical perspective. I forgot openers and stuff like that. But there is something I did really well today. You see, being rejected so many times, fear doesn't affect me usually. Today I had not the slightest bit of fear. But my problem is not knowing what the heck to say, with my social challenges. Today though...I was able to beat it. My strategy was to be analytical of my surrounding, and events, and use it as fodder for openers. And I was gonna be direct, get to the point. That simple battle strategy won me the battle today.

I am new to text game. I have no idea how to utilize it. I just told her that I am just gonna be hanging out this weekend. I felt that this wasn't the optimal response. Then...something struck me. Why should I care about being perfect? It's a ****ing text. God dammit, if I am to score through a text, I shouldn't even be calling myself a DJ or a PUA. Why obsess over small details? That's not being smooth, or technical with game. That's called obsessing, and its being an AFC!

I don't know what to do yet. She replied, telling me she was basically doing the same. But why should i care about exactly what I'm gonna say next? Whatever I do (as long as its within reason), as long as it's done in confidence, can only get me foward!

 

[novaknight]

Entry 12: Tactical planning: An Approach .
I'm real tired right now. Supposed to be sleeping, but I decided to go outside for a jog. Think I ran like 4 miles.

What keeps me up is my situation right now. I have some degree of success outside of my school. But for pretty much the first time in my own school...I actually have a good chance with someone kinda cute, the girl I've been gaming all along. Honestly I hate school because if you **** up...there are repercussions. Outside of school, if you mess up, you simply select another target. And it's pretty rare that a guy like me has someone possibly interested in him. If I mess this up...i'm not gonna mope about it like I did in my AFC days, but I don't want to pass this great chance.

I know I'm obsessing over tiny details, but I honestly don't know how to respond to her text.

I have several plans of approach right now.

My first idea is to text her tomorrow and ask her to meet me in the school lobby on Monday. Then I start to open conversation, and start unloading game. This is a safe bet. She seems very social, so perhaps I will be able to catch her alone. Man, I have a hatred of group interactions. One on one, I've been slowly learning and memorizing social rules and norms. But group interactions...man let's just say that they can tough. I've been practicing and getting better at this but I still haven't reached the right level. If I have to approach her in a group, I'm f/ucked. However, there definately are drawbacks to texting her and asking her to meet up before school started.

My second idea is to just try to catch her where she normally is. Hopefully I can catch her, and move things along. This approach is real risky. I might not catch her. I might catch her in a group, or whatever. However this will look spontaneous and unplanned.

Enough of the approach planning. These are minor details, and I shouldn't be stressing over it.

I've analyzed my ways, and have found a major flaw though. Kino. I tease her. I try push and pull. However, I do not have enough kino. When I approach her on Monday, I WILL fix my kino.

As I am about to once again try to sleep...I remember...no matter what happens...
I am still the man.
I never thought I'd be here. Seriously. I'll admit I'm no PUA or DJ god. But I am literally blown away by what I've done. If you knew what I once was...and compare the two versions of me....you'd be blown away too. This crusade of the Knight has not been an easy one. The path from AFC to the dude I am right now...started from mental hell. But here I am.

I'm ready, Chiquitas. The law of inertia states that once something starts picking up momentum, there's no stopping it. And there ain't no guy or thing out there stoppin me.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 13
Damn. Texted her, and missed her. I've missed her so many times, yet every time we interact it's been so positive.

Oh well, it means more time for calibration. Recently I've been straying away from using conventional PUA routines. I feel that parroting Mystery isn't good enough. Understanding the concepts behind it is far more important, so you can actually make your own unique approaches.

A thing I also learned is that negging is not a bad tool at all. It's a great tool. However...a neg is never supposed to be an insult. It's a backhanded compliment. Kinda a Indicator of Disinterest. From observing successful players...I see that they do this on some sort of subconscious level.

My kino is still not up to par. This will be my goal from now on. To become good at it. I'm going to be studying and observing those successful players.

I've been starting to think of those routines I used to rely on as training wheels. You gotta start somewhere. But those training wheels, they severely limit your mobility in pickup and DJing. Once you get em off....you will be able to be more versatile. You will be able to adapt to different situations, instead of being forced to trek on the same terrain or risk malfunctioning.

Slowly I'm weaning myself off these training wheels. It's gonna be hard, I'm gonna get some cuts and bruises at first. But its really worth it.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 14: Me and God.
I've been praying a lot recently, talking to God. I know some of y'all may not be religious. But recently I've been discovering God popping up in my life. Basically I've felt that from the highs and the lows, God has been watching and looking out for me, and making sure I don't sink too low even when I fall.

I've felt that the Lord has been watching over me this journey now. I've felt that he really works wonders. And I think that where I am now, from where I was before...it really is a testament. It started as a pursuit to get action, or a relationship. Not exactly what your typical churchgoer would like as a testimony, it would probably be very distasteful. But screw them, this is my testimony. My journey from AFC to recovering AFC to a Non-AFC...to hopefully a successful man. I've abandoned religion before. But now, after the steps that I took, I think that I couldn't have done this without some divine intervention.

This might sound kind of homophobic, but I'm not trying to be a homophobe. Recently, after praying, something deep inside my heart keeps convicting me, telling me that some of the gay thoughts that I have are really wrong. That I shouldn't be partly homosexual, and it's sinful. I don't know how to approach this. But a voice deep inside tells me that I can and I should change, and cleanse my soul.

Now I'm not being discriminatory. If someone's gay, sure, I ain't one to judge. Maybe being homo is right for them, I dunno. But even though some guys are kinda cute...I think it's not for me, and it's not moral (from my standpoint).

In the past, I've thought that doubting God was a bad thing. And when I threw him away, I thought that religion was some sort of evil monster. Well, questioning is a great thing! You should always question! And religion? I'm no fan of religion still. But spirituality, it's been pretty healthy for me. And nowadays, its why I wake up, and have the motivation to go conquer the world and continue my crusade.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

If its empowering you, you are free to believe anything you want.
About the gay thing - its not a sin. Its only mentioned once (barely) by an insignificant guy.
If you were to read to bible, try differentiating between what's said by the church, and what's by jesus. Meanings get lost in translation + perception.

 

[DJ422]

I'd Imagine that everyone has those kinds of thoughts at one point or another. Here's how I look at it, and maybe this viewpoint is basic or simple but W/e.
It's less your thoughts but your actions that count. In my opinion, even if you have thoughts, if you don't act on them and DO act on feelings you have for girls, then you ARE NOT gay.

 

[novaknight]

I'd Imagine that everyone has those kinds of thoughts at one point or another. Here's how I look at it, and maybe this viewpoint is basic or simple but W/e.
It's less your thoughts but your actions that count. In my opinion, even if you have thoughts, if you don't act on them and DO act on feelings you have for girls, then you ARE NOT gay.

Problem is those thoughts torment me a lot. I wonder if porn counts too.

Anyways, if it doesn't, good. I want to be straight. I really do, for personal reasons. Mostly practical.

I wouldn't mind having a gay friend though. Not trying to be stereotypical but some of those guys sure know how to dress, I can learn a thing or two from them. As long as they don't make themselves look too girly.

Do any of you have gay friends?

 

[DJ422]

I have a gay classmate. Not sure if We're friends really. I have a close friend who is lesbian though.

The thoughts would torment you less if you didn't let them linger, but thats easier said then done, I know.

 

[novaknight]

I'm determined to beat those thoughts. But it's going to take a while to reform myself.

Meanwhile, to get my mind off of them, I continue on my spiritual journey, and my quest to become good at chicks.

Just wondering, what brings you to the forums? And what goals do you have for yourself?

 

[DJ422]

I found the forums when I was clueless about girls and wanted to start dating.

My Goals:
1. Love life
2. Have LOTS of positive interactions with girls
3. Get Dates
4. If I find a girl I really like, make her my girlfriend.
5. Learn the skills and make the mistakes NOW, so that when I meet a girl I want to marry when I'm older, I know what to do.

 

[novaknight]

I found the forums when I was clueless about girls and wanted to start dating.

My Goals:
1. Love life
2. Have LOTS of positive interactions with girls
3. Get Dates
4. If I find a girl I really like, make her my girlfriend.
5. Learn the skills and make the mistakes NOW, so that when I meet a girl I want to marry when I'm older, I know what to do.

I have similiar goals as you. I came here on the forum, being a very socially inept guy, and a BIG TIME AFC. Now I'm still not good at subtle social things, but I've learned enough to survive for now. I have a special interest in PUA stuff, and learned a lot here.

I'm getting decent with girls. My plan is to ask a girl out soon. I used to have self confidence issues, but hey, I'm a lot more confident in my abilities now.

I'll be checking in your journal. I took a special interest in it.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 15
Man. I crashed big time today. I blanked out since I was forced into a group setting with the girl I'm gaming. I did do some good things though (a not so terrible hug), but other than that I freaking SUCKED. I just felt really awkward today.

But I have high hopes. I think I should ask her out on Monday. When people see me and that girl together people always are like "aww how cute". Kinda annoys me, but hearing it makes me know I should make a move.

I want to ask her out on Monday, is that too soon?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Not too soon.

 

[DJ422]

I was once told that Thursday's are a good day because you can see them on friday and the weekend if they say yes, and you only have to deal with them for one day if the reject you. What's your take on that?

 

[novaknight]

I think that's a fine idea. But my biggest flaw is my social ineptness. I just CANNOT deal with mixed sets and groups.

I feel my value dropped. The question is whether to try to raise it before going for it...or just go for the kill. All her friends are always like "aww so cute" whenever I approach her and stuff.

This is an important point for me. I've had some success with women outside of school, but never in school. If this works it proves I am really progressing.

Have you guys ever asked out a girl before and succeeded? I got rejected like every single time I asked a girl out, yet my successes come from when I don't ask the girl out.

 

[DJ422]

I'm 1 for 2 when it comes to asking out girls. The thought never crossed my mind untill the start of this school year so It would seem like a pretty good record. My rejection was with a girl who only saw me as a friend but I was too blind at the time to see it. The girl who accepted hinted at the fact she liked me and once said " I hope this guy I like asks me out soon". I figured out that it was me and asked. Well, I guess I didn't really "ask", I knew she would say yes, So I more just offered to her.

How did you have successes from not asking the girl out? Or is my situation what you mean by that?