Crusade of the Knight: A Journal.

[novaknight]

Entry 6
Got a haircut . Seems that I'm actually gettin a slight bit more female attention. What a nice confidence booster. Finished the day with a load of brown rice, vegetables, and beef. IOIs from a HB6.5 I rarely get to see. She has a boyfriend though, and the fact I wont see her often made me not go for it.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 6
Sh!t. I missed an approach on a HB6. Very pissed at myself, last minute resistance was bugging me down. It's rather hard approaching in school settings (where I have to operate most of the time, where my value is probably the lowest, and where I suck the most). But I must destroy that resistance and keep calm.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 6
****. I need help. I just can't approach her. I don't know what the **** to do. Every time I wuss out, and am at a loss of words at what the hell I should say.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Entry 6
****. I need help. I just can't approach her. I don't know what the **** to do. Every time I wuss out, and am at a loss of words at what the hell I should say.

Lower your standards for conversations.
Try going up to some guy friends you already know and start talking complete bullsh!t. Whatever comes to mind. This is what you want when talking to girls.

Im still practicing it.

 

[novaknight]

Field Report!
I'm following Norwegian's advice. I told myself that if I didn't approach, I will force myself only to eat one lunch next week I have school. And I don't want to starve, so I approached.

My problem with conversations is that I have a social disability. Been put in remedial social skills classes back in the day. Those helped a bit. But not much. I have a very mechanical and robotic way of thinking at times, and am very quirky. Hence why I am awkward as ****, and often perceived as weird.
I've been trying to make improvements, but theres no cure for this issue. I'm not gonna let some crappy impediment I was born with hold me back though.

I approached the HB who I thought might have slight interest in me. She actually seems really cuter when I'm closer to her. Initiated light kino, and threw in DHVs. High fived and goofed around with some buddies of mine, and talked about helping my friend try to score a girl with a nearby girl. I think I mighta came across as weird at times. But it's better than not approaching and dreaming. I negged her a bit too, and ended with a time constraint.

I thought the golden part of my convo though, was her saying "You're mean! I'm gonna cry now!". I was going, "Oh crud" in my head, thinking I gone too far. And back in my AFC days I would have profusely apologized immediately.
But...I remembered something from my social skills classes! People's words should not be interpreted by the words alone. She was giggling as she said it. Perhaps thats an IOI! If it indeed is...I HAVE A SHOT AT THIS!

I think lookswise...I'm very very lacking. Sure I'm a man of stature and not fat, but I'm skinny. My facial features aren't very good at all. And I was doubting whether that IOI was a real one or she was just being friendly. But man...I remembered this. That even if you're unattractive like me...its okay! Not the end of the world.

So damn. I never knew I would successfully talk to a girl in MY OWN SCHOOL, that cesspool swarming with idiocy. I hate gaming and DJing in my school. But the Knight has won another challenge today. Gotta raise interest level and close the deal after spring break is over.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Good one with the approach dude...I commend you Knight! The only thing I really find unnecessary is all the DHV and false time constraints, just be warm and friendly, the rest will follow.

 

[novaknight]

Thanks Nino. I think i might get texting this week, so number closing will actually mean something. But the DHV stuff....it's because I just can't get myself to be natural (unless I have some liquid if ya know what I mean). And even then I can be mad awkward.

What style do you use?

 

[Nino-Tk]

Yeah I know what you mean with the liquid...That stuff once made me kiss my cousin.
Well to be honest, I really don't have a style...After so much reading and what not, I finally understood the advice "Make every lady feel loved". I love women, so I make them feel that love, I write poetry so words come easily to me.
I am about Honesty, warm vibe and I think what helps is when I am genuinely interested in a person, I flow more...My game ain't tight, its loose hence why I flow natural.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 7
Most of this belongs in the Health and Fitness section, but I'm postin here cause its my journal.

Decided to try MMA (mixed martial arts) today, cause the guy who teaches me in martial arts also teaches that. Cause I'm going for a black belt test sometime in the near future which has been set back by injury numerous times, I decided to try MMA to work on conditioning.

Let me just say that MMA is much different from traditional martial arts. A skinny tall waif like me can do well in traditional sparring, where a tap counts as a point as long as it's a proper punch. In MMA you can't get away with that crap, you actually gotta know how to do it for real. Conditioning is HARD. My asthma (my number one sticking point) always rapes and harrasses my lungs. But I felt really good after it. I think I'll continue doing this along with regular martial arts as a supplement.

I like doing martial arts, done it for quite a long time now. Only thing I don't like about it is that when you're tall and lanky, proper form becomes very difficult (I actually found it easier when I was shorter and stockier). Long legs do no good for your stances/technique (though they certainly cause pure intimidation in sparring at times). But it's still doable (my teachers actually as tall as me, and is very technical down to the minutest detail). Asthma though...lets just say that my asthma as a child left me with a lung capacity of pure CRAP. Hopefully I can train my lungs to get better.

The main reason why I like doing martial arts so much though is the discipline it makes you have. Paying attention to minute details. And combat. I wanna get good at combat in it. My height (despite my skinniness) really intimidates a lotta people, , even those who have more experience or are not that skinny, and that's what I capitalize on. But after they get through that...I'm done. And I've been told MMA's a fine solution.

For the girl, I plan on escalating next week and asking her out. Wish me luck.

 

[Amo]

Feel for you with the asthma thing. I had childhood asthma that completely ****ed up me physically - it's why I want to get into the gym so badly.

 

[novaknight]

Feel for you with the asthma thing. I had childhood asthma that completely ****ed up me physically - it's why I want to get into the gym so badly.

It's completely overcomeable. My father had asthma and was rather sickly. But now he is 50 years old running long distance, something that asthma would cripple you greatly for, and very healthy. I've never seen him sick before for a LONG time. If he did it, you and I can definately accomplish it.

But asthma is a really big barrier to jump over, no doubt. Long distance cardio trains your breathing. Sure it's gonna make you skinny, but its gonna help your lungs a lot.

Do you do any sports? Just wondering, cause perhaps its affecting your performance.

 

[Amo]

No, I don't do any sports. I've always been the "last kid picked in gym" kinda kid.

I'm focusing on building strength and mass now, and then building cardiovascular endurance afterwards. My asthma is gone now, and I'm a lot better. It's just that it's like everyone has this huge head start on me because I never did anything physical because of my asthma, amongst other reasons.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 8
Got texting. Now I can number close. Next week...preferabbly monday, I WILL number close my target. And I will.

The past few days I've been waking up, looking at the mirror. I can do this. Yes I CAN. Every day I wake up, I tell myself that. And I WILL do it.
I've been experimenting this approach on other bad things. Just telling myself I can beat it. I CAN beat my asthma. I CAN be a better person.

All of us can.

 

[Rhino]

Entry 8The past few days I've been waking up, looking at the mirror. I can do this. Yes I CAN. Every day I wake up, I tell myself that. And I WILL do it.
I've been experimenting this approach on other bad things. Just telling myself I can beat it. I CAN beat my asthma. I CAN be a better person.

All of us can.

That's the spirit! I love it.

 

[leodown2]

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[novaknight]

WTF Leo?

 

[Nino-Tk]

Leo is a retard.
Anyway Novaknight I like your spirit bra, keep it up ese.

 

[novaknight]

Thanks Nino. Man...I'm feeling so pumpedd...

I've always loved challenging myself to see what I do. I don't like subjectiveness, I enjoy quantifiable results.

And because of this, I am starting to make a challenge.
From now on, until I number close that girl...I will not be wanking.

Analyzing the choices possible....
I can either
A: ***** out and don't go for her. I'd be left with blue balls, and no girl, or experience.

B. ***** out on the challenge, and not go for her. No blue balls. But it would be even worse, cheating yourself of a valuable chance to learn.

C. Go for a warm, nice girl that you actually like. Fail or win, I'll gain experience. If I fail...I'll know I tried, and be able to improve next time. If I win...I get the girl. And most of all...I won't have blue balls.

I'm expecting that I'll choose option C, going for the number close.

 

[novaknight]

Entry 9
****t...I missed an approach. Not cause of chickening, but because I didn't catch the chick there. She left by the time I noticed her.

I can do this...I WILL do this, once I catch her.

I also did MMA today. I never had so much recklessness and fierceness before. I raged pretty hard at times. Supposedly the energy I saved from not jerking and missing my approach was able to be channeled into anger, carrying me forward into the fight. For some reason, despite previously being scared of even a light punch, I got hit a few times and didn't even care.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Yeah I beileve in your man, you can do this.