Critique my cold approach (video+audio)

[sageproduct]

I'm an AFC. The last time I really used sosuave was 2 years ago, when I was in my last year of high school. Two months ago I started meeting up with guys to do cold approaches during the day. All direct game. I've made maybe 4 or 5 outings so far and have only had a couple good # closes. Yesterday, I managed to get a good one on video (security got really close to cameraman, so he stopped filming. that's why part 2 has audio only). Beginning was cut off, so my opener was:

Me: Excuse me, can I tell you something?
Her: ??
Me: You are absolutely adorable, and I had to come meet you
Her: Oh hi! Well I'm ___________
Me: I'm sageproduct

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs7FiDJHSaE&feature=youtu.be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw5LPwBW0ck&feature=youtu.be

I'm mainly looking for feedback on the approach.

I followed up with her later that day:

Me: James bond goes to aruba...best movie ever
Her: Is that really a movie?
Me: When you and I make it, yes..it'll be a really hot porno
Her: We will not make any movies.
Me: Haha. Plans tomorrow night?
Her: Ya studying for finals
Me: You gotta give me a chance here..thursday night. Coffee and long walks on the beach
Her: I don't drink coffee nor enjoy long walks. And I'm working Thursday night
Me: Guess I'll have to handle two coffees all by myself

I think I went sexual too soon and went for the meet-up too soon in the texting convo. I'll text her again tomorrow (two days after meeting her) and make some light jokes, then flirt and set a date.

 

[Iceberg]

I love that you're showing yourself out on the scene.

I'd say that some things sound canned. But mostly you're coming across as a cool, comfortable, social guy.

When the girl was going to the store for her application, that would have been a good time to eject yourself. Better to leave them wanting more than to overstay the welcome. But, whatever.

Overall, you did great. I dont want to over-dissect your approach. If you videotaped me talking to people, I'm sure you'd find 100 things I was doing "wrong." But at the end of the day, people like me. And I'm sure they'll like you. So keep working, and you'll keep improving. You're doing better than most....trust me.

 

[sageproduct]

Much appreciation for the feedback.

A lot of what I say kind of canned material as of right now. I'm not juggling these lines in my head by any means, but when I speak the first thing that comes to my mind, a lot of times it'll happen to be a line from a pickup video that I've seen.

I think I still show a bit too much supplicating behavior with the females who are in a higher tier of attractive too much. Yesterday I approached what I'd consider a 9 and noticed myself moving around a lot (not necessarily fidgeting, just shifting my arms and stuff), and I couldn't stop smiling and nodding.

 

[AlexLefty]

Me: Excuse me, can I tell you something?
Her: ??
Me: You are absolutely adorable, and I had to come meet you
Her: Oh hi! Well I'm ___________
Me: I'm sageproduct

I see you watch simplepickup
#1, this girl is dumb as fvck dude.

Overall you did awesome.
At the beginning you were too giddy and talking to much, looking nervous, and idk if you made enough ec.. but overall 8.5/10

If you don't want her to know you forgot her name, tell her to type it in, or ask her how to spell it...otherwise it's a pretty good neg if you need one
Edit: ^nev you did this..haha she almost had you with the: 'can you guess how to spell it??'

Omfg dude you are doing sooo awesome...you even shuffled the location? Dude you are boss..we need more posts like this..and not stupid questions.

 

[sageproduct]

Yes sir, SP has really inspired me to start approaching and take care of this area of my life. No argument on the girl being dumb LOL

Thank you. I do think I've been too supplicating, fidgeting around too much and smiling too much. Some have also told me my EC is a little weak, which would have taken me a long time to realize on my own because I'd always automatically thought that I did it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Good stuff playa. Your going out there and acting. I suck at cold approaching unless it's an event. Then I can approach everyone in the bizznitch.

1. 4 minute max. You were sitting over there going in circles with some of your conversation. You gotta show her that your interested in her but at the same time you have business to attend. This shows confidence as well as mystery.

2. When you get the number you gotta say it with confidence. You said "We need to keep in contact, you seem pretty cool"

I would have said

You seem very cool, Let's exchange numbers and we can kick it 1 on 1 sometime

We should is more of a question. What I said is a direction.

Good stuff though brother and don't be caught with a texting buddy. Be direct with her. No texting all day!

 

[Chamber36]

What a ****load of fluffing. It's soooooooooo fluffy. Hard for me to take tbh.

Also it's obvious she likes you because of her ridiculous laughing.

But you are doing good. I'm sure you would have gotten a second date if you had tried to arrange that romantic date.

And that Sheisseporn stuff.... When she hung around you after you told her about that... I knew you were in.

You had her hooked imho, she was all over you. I think it's mainly because you are physically in a higher league than she is. You look better.

 

[Groovy]

15 seconds into it and I already disliked, lame voice, stutter, swear. Go back to the DJ bible.

 

[konmai]

bump going to watch this later and read the comments, when i get on my laptop.

 

[sageproduct]

Thanks remotecontrol for the breakdown. I read your posts yesterday on the phone, and what you said has been running through my mind.

AJ, wouldn't it be best to spend 10-20 minutes on the interaction in a cold approach to get to know the girl better and decrease chances of flaking? I like your suggestion for # closing.

Chamber could you explain what you mean by too much fluffing?

 

[konmai]

Only watched the first video. I wouldn't necessarily take laughter as a sign of her liking him. Some chics just politely laugh and don't know how to eject themselves from an uncomfortable situation. Props for the cold approach though. Not sure if you had performance anxiety, since a camera was on you. I didn't find any of the jokes or negs to be funny honestly. They were bland. I find observational humor works better instead of canned lines that are shoved into the conversation.

Her: I don't drink coffee nor enjoy long walks. And I'm working Thursday night

Sounds like she's pretty much brushing him off right there. She's not counteroffering or trying to help at all, and he'll keep having to throw different dates and activities at her. If she goes out with him, it'll just b/c she has nothing else to do, free meal, etc.... There doesn't seem to be any attraction.

Try another girl. Keep approaching to get a better feel for whether your conversation skills are on point.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

AJ, wouldn't it be best to spend 10-20 minutes on the interaction in a cold approach to get to know the girl better and decrease chances of flaking? I like your suggestion for # closing.

There's no set rule on how long you should spend on a cold approach; although most here will tell you to get in and get out. I agree with you that spending a little more time can help the girl feel a connection with you and increase interest, BUT the reason why most here suggest getting in and getting out is due to the poor level of conversation skills that most guys have..... meaning you will likely decrease her interest if you hang around too long.

If you develop strong social skills and learn how to direct conversations well; you can def increase interest and minimize flaking through time spent.

Chamber could you explain what you mean by too much fluffing?

The conversation really didn't have any flow to it. You kept recycling questions and there was no building off previous topics to increase her interest. As Remote mentioned earlier, she tried to eject right away which shows her interest was low, but you kept going which was good to see you not get discouraged or perhaps you didn't recognize it like we did.

Generally when you cold approach you want to:

-show the girl your confident: thought you did that fairly well

-be able to quickly engage her interest and elevate it: didn't think you did this part

-either get an instant date right there, a kiss or # close at the peak of the conversation: again others mentioned this, but you waited too long, she was trying to eject and you kept asking her about the job situation ---- these are the things Chamber probably noticed as well.

Think about it this way, watch the video again and think to yourself is any of these questions increasing her interest?

To me they seemed like space fillers.

Also make sure you know the type of girl your dealing with before you start dropping cuss words on the initial approach.

Props on the approach and I'm glad your taking an active role in improving and you will.

Don't diss yourself so much when you do approach, fluff talk for a couple minutes MAX, then get into the meat of the conversation, close and move on.







PIMP

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Thanks remotecontrol for the breakdown. I read your posts yesterday on the phone, and what you said has been running through my mind.

AJ, wouldn't it be best to spend 10-20 minutes on the interaction in a cold approach to get to know the girl better and decrease chances of flaking? I like your suggestion for # closing.

Chamber could you explain what you mean by too much fluffing?

The more you yap out at the mouth, the higher % that you might say the wrong thing or give off too much information that can turn her off.

What you want to do in the time your with her is to get her to talk about herself and by doing this you are building rapport with her. If you talk to her too long then you won't be as much as a mystery. If your mysterious then she will project her desires unto you. This is ideal.

and

@ good post remote

 

[Chamber36]

I understand what you're saying, remotecontrol.

It reminds me of some of those girls I'd met out clubbing, the ones that were most excited about meeting up with me again turned out to be the most flakey as well.

It's just hard because this girl is so fake, it's hard to really guage her interest.

See, the sad thing is, her fakeness is the worst thing that could happen to the OP. He's approaching a fake-azz-bi0tch, who would not really give him proper honest feedback. He started talking about sh!tp0rn and the girl started laughing.

You need to approach some hotter girls, OP, then you won't be wasting your time and you will realise when you make a mistake.

That girl was crap.

Concerning the OP and fluffing: OP, you should think more about essential information. Where is the girl from, what's she doing, what are her interests, etc. Only on video 2 you asked her where she was from. Your germany-talk was fluffing, and the whole conversation had a fluffy tone to it, because you really were stalling before you would get to the point of asking vital info or building rapport.

 

[yuppaz]

I think your body language for the most part was good / strong / dominant. Up until you crossed your arms. She was letting a lot of stuff go, so she must have been into you or noticed the disproportionate value between you two. The stuff she let go that you want to avoid un the future (imho):

Putting yourself down (braces, teasing your culture etc.)
Swearing in set (will put a lot of girls off, safer not to)
Talking about porn, not just porn but sh*t porn - big no no
Negativity - toward her job choices. You were funny, but still putting her down. If you would have brought her up instead it would have been a big deal for her - "you would be awesome at that job"
You were aloof and unatached, which to a degree is good, but try to throw in some excited, good feelings for her, randomly (stop talking for a sec, look closely at her and tell her she has the cutest smile)

As long as you are being direct, when she is receptive to it imagine yourself about to **** her and talk about normal stuff while imagining it. She will pick up on it and lime you even more.

Yu are very close, keep going bro your almost there.

With the text, it was too much. Only use sarchastic humor in person and be more chill in texts. Try calling and you can get away with much more.

Big props for getting out there, keep at it!

 

[Upside]

15 seconds into it and I already disliked, lame voice, stutter, swear. Go back to the DJ bible.

Props for cold approaching and even documenting it. I used to cold approach a lot a (relatively) a few years ago and I did do malls as well. Had some limited success doing it.

However, I do agree with Groovy here. Everything sounded kind of...robotic. Seemed like you actually weren't even enjoying your interaction with her. Plus the swearing. Not that it's bad to do it in it of itself as long as it's not like sailor talk, but when you mentioned why she wanted to work at that one store if "gay white guys who do nothing but stare out windows" I facepalmed. The question was fine, but your little interjection at the end was a bit lame.

Also, why did you bring up talk about braces and invisalign when you had a golden opportunity to build rapport with her when you asked about her nationality. SERIOUSLY, you could have gone in a hundred directions with that:

1. Has she ever traveled there?
2. Does she like to travel?
3. Ask her questions about food popular within her background.
4. Was she born there?
5. Were her parents born there?
6. You could have brought up that you love [x] country and that if you were to travel there, you would [x], [y], [z].
7. Any good beers from there?
8. Could she show you a dance from that area?

INSTEAD, you didn't even let her answer your own question and you immediately got into talk about teeth. You also mentioned how your teeth were messed up, and that doesn't really bode well if you are trying to come off as confident. Really, your biggest mistake happened within the first 30 seconds of talking to her IMO.

Again, props for the approach and it's better to do it and learn from it than not to do it at all. I know I've failed a lot and still do but it's all a process.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Girls do not flake on you if you give them your number! If she isn't interested then she simply won't text you.

 

[the_stig]

She looked very uncomfortable, disinterested, and you two had no chemistry. Even the security guard noticed it didn't look natural. The follow up flake was about what I expected.

When you approach someone you click with, you'll be fine, but like remote pointed out this was a lost cause after the first minute.

Also, the whole "oh what's your name" is a bad opener and just reeks that you're trying to pick her up.

Last time I was at the mall, I negged two girls just for fun with positive results. The first had just walked out of Caribou with a really delicious looking drink, so I looked at her, smiled, and said "You shouldn't have, but thanks" and held my hand out toward her drink. I saw the other spit her gum out in the trash so I sarcastically said "you know you have to recycle that, right?". Both girls smiled and approached me to flirt/chat for a minute. Watching a girls actions and saying whatever comes to mind works like an absolute charm for me, but everyone has to find what fits their personality.

 

[mustfirstregister]

why u analyze so much about this???? what is the point?

if the point is to get the number...ok fine...but what if you get the number and she never answers the phone?

all im trying to say is # dont mean anything nowadays and everyone even the most noob can get it, it has become to simple. when u get a lay report then u post it and we should analyze it.
And to reply to your question....

The good:
Cutting distance.

the bad:
Everything else.
and don't say NICE LOL

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I think I went sexual too soon

Bingo. I have seen girls get uncomfortable with much more subtle hints.