Covid is really messing my game

crapstainxo

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1) Not looking for anyone at the moment.

2) While on a trip, girl indicated interest. I wasn't super interested, but always down to chat. She was cute for sure. We hit it off well, and she asked for my number, and I gave. Didn't ask her to confirm she got it right. Figured if she's not interested, she won't bother. She texted me a few hours later that night saying it was great to meet. I reciprocated and left it there. There was nowhere I could take it since I was traveling the next day somewhere else.

3) While on trip somewhere else, I texted her. Delivered, not read. no response for about a week. Felt like this was a pretty bad sign, but perplexed because of interest above.

4) plans changed and I was back in her city (LA). Texted her again to say I'm in town, let's hang. Message was not delivered. But once it eventually was, and read, she responded. apologized for being MIA. went on a camping trip and had bad reception. said shed love to see me. I responded a few hours later trying to put plans together, but no response respond (msg delivered, but not read).

5) Full day goes by, message not read (and she has read receipts on).

6) I'm a very frequent traveler. she's from Europe but lives in LA. I'm from LA but live where she's from in Europe. Anyways, cut my trip in LA short because of Trump closing off the borders.

7) At this point, pretty sure she's no longer interested. But since I've got nothing to lose, I text her again saying I've changed my plans because I can't be stranded in LA, and that I'm leaving tomorrow. If she can meet, awesome. If not, no biggies maybe next time.

8) She responds immediately and proposes coffee the next day at 3pm. Also had a good amount of banter about whether I'd even make it out of the US.

9) Coffee goes really well. I could see it going either way--I'd be happy with a good friendship or romance. Either way, there's something there and I know I want to explore it.

10) It's obvious to me that she was very engaged in the convo, but seems pretty disorganized when it comes to text/tech. She also lives carefree and in the moment. I asked her given covid, how do we keep this alive. She says she's not worried. Just hit her up when she's back in town.

11) After we hang out, as I'm driving out, I decided to text. It was just a thought I had: basically that I'm jealous of people who live in the moment. I always live in the past or the future. No strategy involved--just wanted to express a feeling. She responded immediately and with many emojis, saying she used to be like me, but tries as much as possible to live in the moment.

12) She immediately said after that that she had an amazing time and to let her know when I'm back in town. I respond with "ditto."
head on my trip back to the EU. Land the next evening. Texted her a photo of my home (because I was back home, and I have a beautiful house with some lovely pets). She immediately texts back saying "welcome home!," calls my pets beautiful. We had a bit of banter and she sent the last message (and it didn't warrant a response so I left it as is).

I want to pursue this further. I had another trip booked to LA in June, so hey I just need to keep this a little warm and when I'm back in June I'm sure we'll meet up. she has almost no presence on social media: one insta photo over the last 5 years, and an fb account that hasnt been updated since 2016. i dont bother following or friending. just dont see point. to keep warm, i decide to do text banter, but VERY light. basically value-giving texts--fun pix in my life. especially since she's from here, i thought she'd enjoy. one text every week/10 days.

13) text her a week later. a) sent her a cool pic. b) asking her how she's doing (not in a general way, but in a Covid way--is she safe, is she healthy, is her family safe, etc.). she responds immediately that she's worried about her family back home (where i live), and thinking to move back. we have a decent, but short convo. she's engaged, asking questions, etc. goal here is just to keep warm. i know i cant set up a date, so no point in continuing this longer than I have to.

14) the beautiful thing about whatsapp (which is what weve been using) is that I can tell when she's on it and when she isn't. one day i notice she's online when clearly she should be asleep (it was like 10am my time, 3am her time). i noticed this pattern for a few days more.

15) About 10 days after that convo, i send her another funny pic of my dog. she responds immediately with "hey you! how are you holding up?" she then tells me she moved back to my city. we have another convo. again light, although the dynamic has now changed. she's in my city. we can meet up (in theory).

16) my city is in lockdown. we cant meet other people. we can exercise 1 per day, but only if we observe social distancing. i dont really see the point in trying to set up a hangout with her until this is all over. so my strategy, again, is to just keep it warm.

17) about 3-4 days after the last convo, i send her another funny dog pic. my dog does funny ****. and i like the value demonstrated by loving animals. fewer things more attractive than a man who's kind to animals. in the frame of hte pic is a wider view of my back yard, with art I collect (and i know she loves art). suffice it to say, I've done pretty well for myself. net worth is 8 figs. I devote a lot my time to philanthropy. I still have a job, but it's a cool job where im my own boss, get to travel every month in first class, etc. basically, it's obvious I've done well, but im not going to shove it in someone's face. and im focused right now on helping people in this crisis (and tbh thats taken up most of my time while in lockdown).

18) message is delivered, but not read. and therefore not responded to. she is actively on whatsapp every day thereafter and pretty frequently. no idea what's going on, but i play it cool. im always positive, carefree (and kind, but no compliments), and i want to send good energy. the text didnt solicit a response either, although it was weird she wasnt even reading my messages.

19) five days later she responds with a bunch of questions about the photo. she's clearly engaging. she sincerely apologizes for not responding, saying at first she was super bored, and is now super busy trying to help people out. says it's exhausting. asks me how im holding up through all this.

20) I respond about 10 hours later (i couldve responded many days later, like she did, but in spirit of not wanting to seem spiteful and wanting to make her feel bad, i did 10 hrs). response didnt acknowledge her apology. rather, just expressed excitement that she found a way to use her time to help people. responded about the art (she had asked where i got it from; theres a good story behind it). she sent a funny story that warned me not to overfeed my dog and make it too fat (referencing her favorite book growing up; she's an avid book reader. doesnt watch TV or movies. at. all.)

21) none of my messages solicited a response back. written to be self sufficient, and wouldve been fine if she didnt respond. she read the messages later that evening. no response. first time in our interactions that she's actually left me on read. she responds 24 hours later. and her response is again filled with questions, compliments. she's clearly engaging, and these are long texts.

22) she also mentions that she biked to my neighborhood the other day to see a friend (while observing social distancing from her). basically, "i needed to see a friend who got laid off, so biked up to see her and keep our distance in her yard. i was in your hood!"

23) I respond the next day, about 18 hours later. again answering her questions about how i found the art (it was an interesting story). telling her ive been super busy with work and trying to donate money and time to help people through all of this (all high value stuff). i also acknowledge her point about being in my hood, saying it was awesome she was in my part of town, but i feel bad about her friend and that i hope she's OK. again, want to be positive, but thoughtful. being laid off is not cool. and must be challenging for anyone.
this was almost 3 days ago. messages were read that evening, but no response. and she's been on whatsapp. the messages were written in a way that there's no question, so no need for her to respond. but still, lack of response (or further engagement) is noticeable. At this point, not sure what to do. And I have multiple paths forward. Need your help in choosing.
 

crapstainxo

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It's obvious, not to her as I think i've been playing this well, but to me that I'm suffering from one-itis. not easy for me to go out and "spin other plates." I'm not looking right now. I have no interest in other people. And even if I wanted to manufacture interest, covid is in the way. Instead, I'm focusing my time and mental energy on cool projects that I've been wanting to work on since I can't travel anymore. But I admit it's hard and I think about her a lot. Trust me, I'm working on it.

She's also, to me at least, not a girl that does this a lot--there arent 20 ****s in her mouth when she's not responding. She's slightly more "old fashioned" (manner of speaking was very proper when I met her). she's not super tech engaged from what I can tell. And her conversations, in text and in person, are very sincere and authentic. Aside from her exceptionally poor response cadence, I have no reason to believe this person isn't interested. I admit that I find her lack of responsiveness irritating. But when she does respond, it's obvious she's engaged and interested. There are two takes I have on this: 1) she's trying to communicate lack of interest but interested in friendship. 2) she's definitely scatterbrained (and this was obvious to me when we met) about this stuff+busy and sometimes forgets. 3) she's interested, scatterbrained, but also nervous and it takes her mental energy to respond. It's clear to me that she takes our communications seriously (when she does respond). she is obviously very intelligent.

She's also not "hot." she's cute, and that's it. she's in her early-30s, got out of a few serious relationships. obviously single. i am a bit out of her league (and my career and success can be intimidating to others).

Paths forward:
1) (Preferred)
Continue to keep warm until lockdown is lifted, then plan to meet. Next text maybe a week and a few days after the last ones I sent above, again just a funny or cute picture and a comment. Nothing more.
2) (Not preferred, but should I consider?) Try to meet up with her in a socially responsible way. when we met, we went for a hug (she initiated), but then pulled away for not wanting to spread the virus. I understood and agreed. Made sense. She also works in health and is close with people in our health system. I've been avoiding trying to set up a meet because I figure it'll be difficult. We live on the opposite side of town. There's nowhere to meet, she seems like she wants to be responsible about this, and I should respect that. At best, we could maybe do a socially distant jog in the park. I feel like it's definitely way, way, way too early to invite her to my house. OTOH, she mentioned above that she was in my neighborhood to see her friend... so maybe she was dropping a hint that she's game to hang in some capacity? I really don't want to bother with trying because if she says no, it'll be unclear if it's because of a lack of interest and using covid as excuse, or genuinely because of covid. Figure I have more to gain by feigning that I'm super busy, committed to my work and my passions, and keeping things warm via text. I don't think I'm losing out to some other guy during lockdown.
3) There's been discussions on this forum about doing calls, zooms, facetimes. I hate, hate, hate facetimes and zooms. I'm great with phone calls, but i dont know what the purpose of the phone call would be. again, purpose is to get her on a second date, not to become her best friend (for now) or be too available, too needy or too wanting. i figure if i cant meet with her, anything beyond the occasional text in (1) above can only hurt me.
 

17 shots

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Well according to the New Yorkers on this forum... you're gonna die, so good luck
 

Xenom0rph

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COVID-19 has actually helped my game....

.....these females are going insane and lashing out at their partners while being extra flirtatious with random dudes.... A random dude like myself..

....they're sick of being isolated with their partners.... They're lusting for that outside d!ck.....

....I'm trying to capitalize on that opportunity....
 

BackInTheGame78

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Well according to the New Yorkers on this forum... you're gonna die, so good luck
Not really. We just know firsthand its not a game. You never respect a chainsaw properly until it cuts your hand off. When you know enough people who have gotten sick and ended up in ICU, died from it or enough doctors and nurses and EMTs on the front lines and they liken it to a war zone then it gives you a little better understanding.

As always the further you are from the action the easier it is to ignore it, think its way less serious than it is or think its being overhyped. The death tolls you are seeing are way low.

They are not yet tracking people who are dying in their homes due to being told they are not "sick enough" to be in the hospital. Can you imagine going to a hospital having trouble breathing but because you don't need to be put on a ventilator they send you home because there is no room?

Then in a day or two or three it worsens and you never wake up from sleeping. This is what is going on right now in NYC. 200-300 people are dying every day in their homes from this and its not being counted. A bunch of others who recovered are dying within a few days or weeks of being released from the hospital due to their organs failing from the trauma of having it. But yet you have people thinking its "no big deal".

So yeah, we are taking it seriously because unlike you we don't have the option not to.
 
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Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

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crapstainxo

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I realize my OP was long and convoluted. if u could do me hte favor of reading it and giving me advice about how to proceed, i would be eternally in your debt. thank you
 

Solomon

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COVID-19 has actually helped my game....

.....these females are going insane and lashing out at their partners while being extra flirtatious with random dudes.... A random dude like myself..

....they're sick of being isolated with their partners.... They're lusting for that outside d!ck.....

....I'm trying to capitalize on that opportunity....
I'm curious if you have or will smash any
I have girls sending nudes and say they wanna meet up just to go ghost
Really after the Quarantine is when it's gonna jumpoff, but that might not be until July
 

Xenom0rph

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I'm curious if you have or will smash any
I have girls sending nudes and say they wanna meet up just to go ghost
Really after the Quarantine is when it's gonna jumpoff, but that might not be until July
It's a work in progress my man....
 

17 shots

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Not really. We just know firsthand its not a game. You never respect a chainsaw properly until it cuts your hand off. When you know enough people who have gotten sick and ended up in ICU, died from it or enough doctors and nurses and EMTs on the front lines and they liken it to a war zone then it gives you a little better understanding.

As always the further you are from the action the easier it is to ignore it, think its way less serious than it is or think its being overhyped. The death tolls you are seeing are way low.

They are not yet tracking people who are dying in their homes due to being told they are not "sick enough" to be in the hospital. Can you imagine going to a hospital having trouble breathing but because you don't need to be put on a ventilator they send you home because there is no room?

Then in a day or two or three it worsens and you never wake up from sleeping. This is what is going on right now in NYC. 200-300 people are dying every day in their homes from this and its not being counted. A bunch of others who recovered are dying within a few days or weeks of being released from the hospital due to their organs failing from the trauma of having it. But yet you have people thinking its "no big deal".

So yeah, we are taking it seriously because unlike you we don't have the option not to.
Dude I'm taking it seriously, I told OP he's gonna die. What else do you want from me
 

skinnyguy

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any advice on the original post up top?
the fact that you're making this long of a post about a girl puts you in orbiter status. even worse is that you live in a different country.

For girls like this, you should simply hit her up whenever you're in LA and smash. That's it. She should not enter your thoughts beyond that.

I get that you're planning to go back to LA in June and you're trying to keep it warm. But you risk her LOSING interest because you're seeming needy with no options by doing that. I really believe that girls are more likely to meet up if you text them a couple of days before you fly in rather than texting her for months and months trying to preserve interest.

My advice is to not text her anymore. If you want to, hit her up in June but if she doesn't feel like meeting up don't get angry about it. There are plenty of girls like her in LA.
 

crapstainxo

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the fact that you're making this long of a post about a girl puts you in orbiter status. even worse is that you live in a different country.

For girls like this, you should simply hit her up whenever you're in LA and smash. That's it. She should not enter your thoughts beyond that.

I get that you're planning to go back to LA in June and you're trying to keep it warm. But you risk her LOSING interest because you're seeming needy with no options by doing that. I really believe that girls are more likely to meet up if you text them a couple of days before you fly in rather than texting her for months and months trying to preserve interest.

My advice is to not text her anymore. If you want to, hit her up in June but if she doesn't feel like meeting up don't get angry about it. There are plenty of girls like her in LA.
she moved back to my city in the EU...
 

zekko

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The death tolls you are seeing are way low.
I think it's a serious situation. However:
You say the death tolls are low for the reasons you gave, others are saying the death tolls are artificially inflated because if anyone has coronavirus, that's their cause of death regardless of what they actually died from. Between the two extreme points of view, I'm just going to consider that the death count is more or less accurate.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I think it's a serious situation. However:
You say the death tolls are low for the reasons you gave, others are saying the death tolls are artificially inflated because if anyone has coronavirus, that's their cause of death regardless of what they actually died from. Between the two extreme points of view, I'm just going to consider that the death count is more or less accurate.
Not really. Because they can and have looked at a lengthy period and taken the average number of deaths on a given day and its 10x higher day after day after day recently.

So either a lot of people are dying of respiratory distress or cardiac events all of a sudden for no apparent reason, or it's COVID-19 related. And this just isn't in NYC it is pretty much across the board for places that have been hit hard with the virus.
 

zekko

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Not really. Because they can and have looked at a lengthy period and taken the average number of deaths on a given day and its 10x higher daday after daday recently.
10x higher sounds like an exaggeration. 6-9000 people die every day in the US normally. 10x that would be at least 60,000 people dying a day.

I did read that eight times the normal amount of people in NY are being found dead in their homes, although that's not the same as saying eight times the daily death rate.
 

Clamslammer

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Come on dude where are your balls....stop letting this
attention who*** string you along. She sees you as her fan and not someone she wants to smash.

You are msking her lose attraction if she had any. You said you are out of her league the way you are acting it seems she is out od your league.

Do this....absolutely nothing. Do not reach out to her. If she cares she will hit you up. If she does tell het too swing by yourvpad for dinner and drinks.

If you are worried about covid then dont meet up and don't waste your time chatting . Stop being weak
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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