A lot of guys here say that it was because their father was beta or an afc or wasn't there enough. But what if he was TOO male? Too much of a he-man? That was somewhat the case for me, though he also was barely home because of work too. But even when he was home, he was TOO male/alpha, I guess you could say. And because of that, he believed that he could be the only alpha. When it came time for us (me and my brother) to start becoming men, he did not want that and tried crushing us numerous times. He still wanted us to bend for him. When it came time for him to yield to us so that we could become our own men, he crushed us instead. And I say, that is one of the worst things that you could do to your sons. He should have let us become the 'alpha' of the family even if it is only perceived as such. If you are a kid and stand up for yourself because someone took the soccer ball away from you and your friends during recess, you don't just hit your son for it because you want all the other families to like you better, that's ****ed up. Fortunately for me and my brother though, it's naturally in our behavior to rebel and just do our own thing lol so that's why we fought with him a lot, especially as we got older.
Essentially, my dad was so much of a man that he was a pvssy. That's why sometimes I say that he is one of the most alpha and beta guys I know. He does a lot of things that could be tough and also a lot of things that could be considered as feminine, and he holds some EXTREMELY strong, intense beliefs that he will die for. Some of those beliefs are even afc as hell too, but only because he strongly believes that women are inferior to men in a lot of ways and that women should obey men. Kind of like 'because they are weaker/lesser, we must protect them' sort of thing. And that's one way he becomes alpha and beta at the same time.
He knew how to exert himself, but he did not know how or when, or that he even SHOULD ever yield. Men know how to exert themselves as the dominant force, yes. But he didn't have the BALLS to back down ever. Think of it like The Secret of the Jerk. The nice guy is a slave, because he is a slave to society. The jerk on the other hand might SEEM more free, but he really isn't because he is slave to his passion. He let's his passion control him so he has no self-control. My father was the same way, but with PRIDE instead. He let his pride control him. You don't have to let go of your pride, but you do not become controlled by it to the point where you are trying to sabotage others and are in denial of your actual strength. Be gracious when yielding. Don't hold any hard feelings in doing so and allow your kids to flourish. If you are unable to yield because of arrogance or insecurity, it is no longer is authentic pride anymore, and instead becomes ego, and thus weakness. It takes strength to back down.
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This is just one problem of many that I had growing up that made me worse off than other kids. There still are many other things to consider as well. However, I recently watched a video by Elliot Hulse and he talked about this and described my feelings about this situation so I was finally able to put it into words what the problem with this aspect of my life was and then I remembered this thread so I decided to write a little bit about this.
