seloifter
Senior Don Juan
Now, I'm a pretty avid reader of Cosmopolitan magazine....... yes yes I know it's a magazine for college chicks...... but it's the most interesting and educational magazine I've ever seen! Some of the articles make me sick, but most of the time they're really good, and reveal alot about women.
In the issue currently in my lap, I found two articles that just made me think of this site..... so.... I'm gonna go thru the trouble of typing out the entire god damn articles..... (this should only take half an hour...... *sigh*)
Here we go......
Article #1:
Are Guys Getting Too Sensitivie?
At any given time, there's a little strife between teh sexes. "Bu the latest point of contention is a particularly surprising one. Women wverywhere, it seems, are sick of guys who have gotten in the habit of showing too much sensitivity. Ironically, females are partly to blame for this somewhat baffling behavioral shift - we've been begging men to be less macho practically sine the dawn of time. But some guys, in a state of confusion perhaps, appear to have taken our request a little too seriously, prompting one observant woman to proclaim, "Guys are teh new girls." Take Cris Judd, for example. J.Lo's husband-for-five-minutes is the poster boy for doormat dudes.
So how did this explosion of touchy-feely fellas come about? "It may be a reaction to the fact taht women today are more educated and therefore more inclined to take on more traditionally masculine roles," theorizes Susan A. Basow, Ph.D., psychology porfessor at Lafayette College in Pennsylvania. Since it's difficult to have two people wearing the pants in a relationship, a new crop of men seem willing to be th eones to don skirts (we're speaking figuratively, of course). Here, we delve deeper into what's behind this overly tender man trend... and how to put it in reverse before it gets out of control.
The meaning of manly is changing
Strong, unemotional, take-charge hulks who always pick up the tab have gone teh way of the blue-nail-polish fad. "As women become more affluent and more in control in dating situations, it makes sense for guys to loosen up and get away from the more oppressive aspects of mainless," says Cheryl Bartholomew. Trey, 24, agrees: "Nobody can live up to Arnold Schawrzenegger standards, and guys can easily go crazy trying - to be able to kick somebody's ass in a fight, to never show it when you're bueed out. It's a huage headache."
The problem? Some guys are overdosing on passivity. Kenny, 30, explains, "I don't want some psyco testosterone machine who starts bar brawls. But is it too much to ask to have a guy who'll stand up for me when a sales clerk is being rude or handle it when I don't get what I ordered in a restaurant?"
Men think women want tons of mush
There's no dobut that guys are getting mixed signals on teh sappiness front. "Traditionally, women have complained that the men they date don't open up and share their emotions," says Bartholomew. But lately, it seems guys have finally been taking to heart the women-love-schmaltz messages in chick flicks and Lifetime TV movies. As a result, guys everywehre have jumped to the erroenous conclusion that they'd better pump the sap factor or you'll blow them off.
Andrew, 30, had a boyfriend who was sweet enough to put her into insulin shock. [NOTE: That's a bad thing] "Steve and I had been dating for a few weeks when he started E-mailing me poems he'd written - in French - about how I was a beautiful flower," she recalls. "On one level, I realized he was responding to my pressuring him to be romantic, but this went way too far!" Luckily, Andrew was able to thwart getting an anthology's worth of pansyich sonnets . "I thinanked him, but not profuesly. I think he started getting the hint when I praised him any time he did little manly things, like holding the door open for me. He still gets a little gooey sometimes, but when it's not overwheliming, I'm able to appreciate his efforts."
chicks have loads of sexual confidence
"Women today have unprecedented amounts of sexual freedom and power," says Bartholomew. "It's becoming more socially acceptable for them to express themselves in bed without suffering repercussions like being called a slut." Of course, guys can appreciate some aspects of the new standard - like getting action more often - but they also may be intimidated. Factor in the fear of getting shot down and you're left with a opulation of men who are scared to make a move - in the sack or even when it comes to asking a girl out.
"This whole new Sex and teh City attitude has thrown everything out of whack," says Deal, 27. "OBviously, it's great that women want more sex. But there's always a chance that if you do something wrong, a womean will call you on it - or just ditch you and then tell all of her friends what a lame lay you are. Who wants to run teh risk of that?"
The results from Cosmo's most recent sex survey reveal that Dean isn't the only sex scaredy-cat - 78% of the men surveyed said they prefer that the woman make the first move. Alan Berkowitz, Ph.D., an independant consultant who works with colleges on sexual-assault prevention, has noticed a similar trend but thinks there's a more seroius reason behind it. "Students tell me it's easier to let the woman take the initiative because then teh guy knows teh behavior is welcome."
So, ladies [or dj's reading this], give these poor guys a break - recognize the situation they're in and accept that you may have to start sending less-than-subtle signals if you want action. If you're not up for initiating the connection physically, try letting him know verbally, as Julie, 30, did. "I realized one day that none of the past four guys I'd gone out with had kissed me first," she recalls. "I decided that no matter what, I would wait for the next guy to make the first move. After three dates with Mark and no kiss, I finally broke down and said, "I am dying to have you kiss me." That's all it took for him to lean in and lay a big wet one on me... and it was totally worth teh wait."
guys feel marginalized
"Women don't need men teh way they used to and teh boys are feeling the backlash," explains BArtholomew. "Sinc ewomen are no longer taking teh back-seat - at home, at work,anywhere - they have more of a say," says Gilda Carle. For example, women may make every restaurant reservation and movie suggestion, dictate which parties to hit, and insist on teh vacataion of their choice. "But then they get turned off when their man doesn't even attempt to regained any power," says Carle.
Sounds like women have a lot of nerve, doesn't it? If y9ou're frustrated because you think your guy is too wimpy to do anything but follow orders, hen stop issuing them. "I always start organizing my social calendar for the week on Mondays," says Daniell, 25. "I got in teh habit of signing my boyfriend up for most of my plans. But when I began to get pissy with him because he never took me anywhere, he pointed out that I'd already booked all of our nights!" Oops. The quick fix: "I stopped planning everything so far in advance and instead left at least a few nights a week free so I could ask him what he wanted to do for a change," says Danielle. "Sure enough, his response was taht he'd like to take me out on a date."
======
whew, that was tiring.....
interesting article...... points out some great AFC-points....... but even they have some weaknesses in what they point out..... they don't realize what a TRUE dj is yet..... they just know that they don't want an AFC.... which is a step up
I don't know if I'll type up the second article..... it's about "games you SHOULD play" basically it's how to be a DJ for a woman...... kinda interesting I thought...... but that'll come later, maybe after dinner
Well, thoughts about this article?
In the issue currently in my lap, I found two articles that just made me think of this site..... so.... I'm gonna go thru the trouble of typing out the entire god damn articles..... (this should only take half an hour...... *sigh*)
Here we go......
Article #1:
Are Guys Getting Too Sensitivie?
At any given time, there's a little strife between teh sexes. "Bu the latest point of contention is a particularly surprising one. Women wverywhere, it seems, are sick of guys who have gotten in the habit of showing too much sensitivity. Ironically, females are partly to blame for this somewhat baffling behavioral shift - we've been begging men to be less macho practically sine the dawn of time. But some guys, in a state of confusion perhaps, appear to have taken our request a little too seriously, prompting one observant woman to proclaim, "Guys are teh new girls." Take Cris Judd, for example. J.Lo's husband-for-five-minutes is the poster boy for doormat dudes.
So how did this explosion of touchy-feely fellas come about? "It may be a reaction to the fact taht women today are more educated and therefore more inclined to take on more traditionally masculine roles," theorizes Susan A. Basow, Ph.D., psychology porfessor at Lafayette College in Pennsylvania. Since it's difficult to have two people wearing the pants in a relationship, a new crop of men seem willing to be th eones to don skirts (we're speaking figuratively, of course). Here, we delve deeper into what's behind this overly tender man trend... and how to put it in reverse before it gets out of control.
The meaning of manly is changing
Strong, unemotional, take-charge hulks who always pick up the tab have gone teh way of the blue-nail-polish fad. "As women become more affluent and more in control in dating situations, it makes sense for guys to loosen up and get away from the more oppressive aspects of mainless," says Cheryl Bartholomew. Trey, 24, agrees: "Nobody can live up to Arnold Schawrzenegger standards, and guys can easily go crazy trying - to be able to kick somebody's ass in a fight, to never show it when you're bueed out. It's a huage headache."
The problem? Some guys are overdosing on passivity. Kenny, 30, explains, "I don't want some psyco testosterone machine who starts bar brawls. But is it too much to ask to have a guy who'll stand up for me when a sales clerk is being rude or handle it when I don't get what I ordered in a restaurant?"
Men think women want tons of mush
There's no dobut that guys are getting mixed signals on teh sappiness front. "Traditionally, women have complained that the men they date don't open up and share their emotions," says Bartholomew. But lately, it seems guys have finally been taking to heart the women-love-schmaltz messages in chick flicks and Lifetime TV movies. As a result, guys everywehre have jumped to the erroenous conclusion that they'd better pump the sap factor or you'll blow them off.
Andrew, 30, had a boyfriend who was sweet enough to put her into insulin shock. [NOTE: That's a bad thing
] "Steve and I had been dating for a few weeks when he started E-mailing me poems he'd written - in French - about how I was a beautiful flower," she recalls. "On one level, I realized he was responding to my pressuring him to be romantic, but this went way too far!" Luckily, Andrew was able to thwart getting an anthology's worth of pansyich sonnets . "I thinanked him, but not profuesly. I think he started getting the hint when I praised him any time he did little manly things, like holding the door open for me. He still gets a little gooey sometimes, but when it's not overwheliming, I'm able to appreciate his efforts." chicks have loads of sexual confidence
"Women today have unprecedented amounts of sexual freedom and power," says Bartholomew. "It's becoming more socially acceptable for them to express themselves in bed without suffering repercussions like being called a slut." Of course, guys can appreciate some aspects of the new standard - like getting action more often - but they also may be intimidated. Factor in the fear of getting shot down and you're left with a opulation of men who are scared to make a move - in the sack or even when it comes to asking a girl out.
"This whole new Sex and teh City attitude has thrown everything out of whack," says Deal, 27. "OBviously, it's great that women want more sex. But there's always a chance that if you do something wrong, a womean will call you on it - or just ditch you and then tell all of her friends what a lame lay you are. Who wants to run teh risk of that?"
The results from Cosmo's most recent sex survey reveal that Dean isn't the only sex scaredy-cat - 78% of the men surveyed said they prefer that the woman make the first move. Alan Berkowitz, Ph.D., an independant consultant who works with colleges on sexual-assault prevention, has noticed a similar trend but thinks there's a more seroius reason behind it. "Students tell me it's easier to let the woman take the initiative because then teh guy knows teh behavior is welcome."
So, ladies [or dj's reading this
], give these poor guys a break - recognize the situation they're in and accept that you may have to start sending less-than-subtle signals if you want action. If you're not up for initiating the connection physically, try letting him know verbally, as Julie, 30, did. "I realized one day that none of the past four guys I'd gone out with had kissed me first," she recalls. "I decided that no matter what, I would wait for the next guy to make the first move. After three dates with Mark and no kiss, I finally broke down and said, "I am dying to have you kiss me." That's all it took for him to lean in and lay a big wet one on me... and it was totally worth teh wait."guys feel marginalized
"Women don't need men teh way they used to and teh boys are feeling the backlash," explains BArtholomew. "Sinc ewomen are no longer taking teh back-seat - at home, at work,anywhere - they have more of a say," says Gilda Carle. For example, women may make every restaurant reservation and movie suggestion, dictate which parties to hit, and insist on teh vacataion of their choice. "But then they get turned off when their man doesn't even attempt to regained any power," says Carle.
Sounds like women have a lot of nerve, doesn't it? If y9ou're frustrated because you think your guy is too wimpy to do anything but follow orders, hen stop issuing them. "I always start organizing my social calendar for the week on Mondays," says Daniell, 25. "I got in teh habit of signing my boyfriend up for most of my plans. But when I began to get pissy with him because he never took me anywhere, he pointed out that I'd already booked all of our nights!" Oops. The quick fix: "I stopped planning everything so far in advance and instead left at least a few nights a week free so I could ask him what he wanted to do for a change," says Danielle. "Sure enough, his response was taht he'd like to take me out on a date."
======
whew, that was tiring.....
interesting article...... points out some great AFC-points....... but even they have some weaknesses in what they point out..... they don't realize what a TRUE dj is yet..... they just know that they don't want an AFC.... which is a step up
I don't know if I'll type up the second article..... it's about "games you SHOULD play" basically it's how to be a DJ for a woman...... kinda interesting I thought...... but that'll come later, maybe after dinner
Well, thoughts about this article?
