Converting Girl Friends into 'Girlfriends' Painlessly

[Warrior74]

I find it hillarious that potato..one of the fakest mother****ers on this board... has the nerve to try and call someone out.

 

[young_gun]

Didn't really read the original post in detail, but...

In my experience, the difference between the girls I haven't gotten with (been "just friends" with) and the girls I have gotten with, has been the kino (playful touching) I used with them.

That's the best way to get yourself out of friendzone IMO. If you aren't at least a little touchy-feely with her (or her with you) then you most likely will be LJBF'ed.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Didn't really read the original post in detail, but...

It's worth reading, just click HERE

In my experience, the difference between the girls I haven't gotten with (been "just friends" with) and the girls I have gotten with, has been the kino (playful touching) I used with them.

That's the best way to get yourself out of friendzone IMO. If you aren't at least a little touchy-feely with her (or her with you) then you most likely will be LJBF'ed.

No argument there, at least when you're dealing with high-school or college-aged girls. It's more difficult for most men with most women when they're further along in years.


Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[young_gun]

It's a good post, I'll give you that. Women DO love good sex.

 

[DJDamage]

I see what you were trying to do in this thread JS, but this stuff is too much of a PUA mentality for my taste. The difference is that a PUA tries to manipulate the reality he is stuck in while the DJ makes his own reality.

See I don't keep girl friends. I do run into girls I know whom I precieve as acquaintances that I may interact with, if I happen to see them in bars or other social gathering. However I refuse to be a part of their social circle and constantly "hang out" with them on indvidual basis or with their friends. As someone else already mentioned, they bring very little to the table in terms of "real friendship".

I have better things to do then be just "another joe or mike" she talks too when she feels bored. In order to be close to a woman, you have to be almost like a surrgoate boyfriend to her and I believe that time you are spending with a woman be better served with the one you want to fvck with.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

I see what you were trying to do in this thread JS, but this stuff is too much of a PUA mentality for my taste.

I think, DJ, you may be missing the point after all? For instance, this has NOTHING to do with 'Picking Up' anyone; it entirely relates to women with whom you have a legitimate ongoing friendship. ('Pick Up' is about 'salesmanship' - "Customer Acquisition". My focus is on "Customer Satisfaction, Loyalty, and Retention" and I have ongoing non-exclusive relationships going back 15 years with some lovers - through various marriages and relationships on both sides!)

Since you don't have such friendships, it won't have an application in your world. I can't relate to the notion that "real friendships" with women are less valuable or less valid than "real friendships" with guys, since the only real difference I can find between the two is that I don't have sex with my male friends.

I have better things to do then be just "another joe or mike" she talks too when she feels bored.

Of course - me too! That's why I express the fundamentals of the OP to them, and help them appreciate that we can be bed-buddies as well as friends. I have sex with basically all my female friends, and I have for many years.

In order to be close to a woman, you have to be almost like a surrogate boyfriend to her and I believe that time you are spending with a woman be better served with the one you want to fvck with.

I also can't relate to the notion of there being only "one woman I'd want to fvck with" - Sexual exclusivity isn't something I offer to any of my girlfriends, nor do they expect it or suggest it, so the time I spend with them has value on many levels, both as a comrade and confident, as well as a playmate. I have no problem taking on a 'boyfriend role' for a female friend with whom I'm sexually intimate; I just won't take on the 'Boyfriend title'.


Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[DJDamage]

Since you don't have such friendships, it won't have an application in your world. I can't relate to the notion that "real friendships" with women are less valuable or less valid than "real friendships" with guys, since the only real difference I can find between the two is that I don't have sex with my male friends.

They are not less valulable, its just that its nearly impossible to find women in their 20's who make good friends. From my own experience women tend to make lousy friends because they tend to be more self absorbing and self serving creatures then men (maybe it changes with women as they age who knows) and use men for attention purposes. Heck women can't even be good friends to other women! go to any woman you meet and close to 100% of them will tell you that a former close female friends of their's has backstab them in the back somewhere in the past.

Of course - me too! That's why I express the fundamentals of the OP to them, and help them appreciate that we can be bed-buddies as well as friends. I have sex with basically all my female friends, and I have for many years.

If you found those women attractive then why didn't you just go for the lay right away?! I mean you did say in your post that this tip will only work for guys who befriend women for real, how can you then say that you genuinely wanted to be a woman's friend if you end up fvcking her?! I mean you had to be attracted to her when you first met her right?! so I don't believe you can be attracted to a woman physically and genuinely be her friend. You like her company because you found her physically attractive.

Majority of men who enter friendships with attractive women are in delusion and denial in terms of their own true intentions and would have saved themsleves alot of time and anguish if they went for what they desired first instead of waiting it out.

I also can't relate to the notion of there being only "one woman I'd want to fvck with" - Sexual exclusivity isn't something I offer to any of my girlfriends, nor do they expect it or suggest it, so the time I spend with them has value on many levels, both as a comrade and confident, as well as a playmate.

I probably should have said "the one's you want to fvck with" cause I didn't mean to sound if I am suggesting exclusively. It sounds to me like even though you offer advice on ways you can attempt to have sex with your female friends (because you found them attractive to begin with), I on the other hand suggest to not even get in this kind of jam to begin with and just go for it, without entertaining the idea of friendship first and creating dishonesty with the women and yourself.

 

[Jitterbug]

Johnny, if the female friends you have are in the same industry you're in, it means that you're a very very valuable friend to them and sleeping with you every now and then is the least they could do. I don't think most guys could ever get into such a position of power to their female friends, nor could they surround themselves with females who are so open-minded to such approach.

That's my thought for now, but I'll keep this in mind. Thanks for the posts. Maybe one day, I'll understand it better. Right now I don't believe I have enough life experience with women to comprehend this.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Johnny, if the female friends you have are in the same industry you're in, it means that you're a very very valuable friend to them and sleeping with you every now and then is the least they could do.

Certainly - but 90% or more of my female friends are in completely unrelated fields from me, and there is no cross-over of any sort between their work and mine. We are simply FRIENDS, and I have absolutely no power of any sort over them.

As a matter of fact, I _NEVER_ sleep with anyone where there's any suggestion or inkling of gratitude involved. I only sleep with women where there's mutual appreciation.

I don't think most guys could ever get into such a position of power to their female friends, nor could they surround themselves with females who are so open-minded to such approach.

That is a SEVERELY limiting belief, Jitterbug - one which you should endeavor to overcome ASAP

Have you READ the OP in this thread? It describes precisely the frame required to help ANY WOMAN AT ALL become comfortable that you will accept her and not find-fault with her for choosing to have casual sex with you.

That's my thought for now, but I'll keep this in mind. Thanks for the posts. Maybe one day, I'll understand it better. Right now I don't believe I have enough life experience with women to comprehend this.

Seriously, Jitterbug - think if you have any genuine friendships with desirable girls; it doesn't matter if they are involved with other guys or not - speak with them about the things I detail in the OP, and see what happens!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[Johnny Soporno]

They are not less valuable, its just that its nearly impossible to find women in their 20's who make good friends.

We have very different experiences here - perhaps the observer affects the experiment (ie, you're generating a self-fulfilling prophecy?) in this case?

From my own experience women tend to make lousy friends because they tend to be more self absorbing and self serving creatures then men (maybe it changes with women as they age who knows) and use men for attention purposes.

I suppose it depends, I would say it's about the same, regardless of gender.

Heck women can't even be good friends to other women! Go to any woman you meet and close to 100% of them will tell you that a former close female friends of their's has backstab them in the back somewhere in the past.

Oh, indeed! In fact, if you want a good place to begin a conversation with any women or mixed-set, simply say "I heard someone say something interesting today - 'If there's one thing all men and women can agree upon, it's that you can't trust women!'" and see how all the girls will agree.

With that in mind, MOST of my own female friends were the sort who'd given up on having girls as friends, for that very reason. However, most of my girlfriends get on very well with my other girlfriends, because they know they have nothing to hide, nothing to lie about, and no reason to fear betrayal with one another.

If you found those women attractive then why didn't you just go for the lay right away?! I mean you did say in your post that this tip will only work for guys who befriend women for real, how can you then say that you genuinely wanted to be a woman's friend if you end up fvcking her?! I mean you had to be attracted to her when you first met her right?! so I don't believe you can be attracted to a woman physically and genuinely be her friend. You like her company because you found her physically attractive.

Sigh.... have you never met a girl who was either engaged to be married, just married recently, or involved with someone whom you knew (a friend or friend's family-member, etc) and you felt it would be pointless or inappropriate to make a seductive move?

I meet women all the time whom I enjoy and find very attractive, but due to circumstances beyond our control, nothing erotic is reasonable to expect.

Also, basically every girl I end up taking to bed BECOMES an ongoing friend of mine, these days. I am long-past the era of fvcking girls just because they look hot, and are willing Nowadays I only bother if I find them INTERESTING and charming, as well as sexually attractive.

Majority of men who enter friendships with attractive women are in delusion and denial in terms of their own true intentions and would have saved themsleves alot of time and anguish if they went for what they desired first instead of waiting it out.

No question - I am not one who suffers from this, however I am SO direct, it's disarming... as I always say, I treat EVERY GIRL as though she were my lover... and soon enough, she will be.

I probably should have said "the one's you want to fvck with" cause I didn't mean to sound if I am suggesting exclusively. It sounds to me like even though you offer advice on ways you can attempt to have sex with your female friends (because you found them attractive to begin with), I on the other hand suggest to not even get in this kind of jam to begin with and just go for it, without entertaining the idea of friendship first and creating dishonesty with the women and yourself.

I am never dishonest with anyone. I am COMPLETELY CLEAR up front about my nature (Hell, check out my myspace page! http://www.Myspace.com/JohnnySoporno) even with girls whom I know I will not be pursuing, such as I described above

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[SXS]

the Ideas this guy have are in the least interesting, but what I dislike in them is that it seems to put too value on the women in question. In the end, you offer yourself to her whenever she needs too, but she will be there to you when YOU need her ? Knowing women, I think that if you start with this kind of aproach, you are accepting to be her toy.
What do you think, Soporno ?

 

[DarkShade]

I can attest somewhat to Soporno, I've done it myself

Texted a girl who was downstairs at the time (night was winding down and people were starting to go to sleep, etc), basically all the text said was "Hey if you are interested in some no-strings attached fun, I'm upstairs. Reply if you want to, otherwise I'll assume you don't and go to sleep."

10 seconds she's at the top of the staircase walking towards my door

the Ideas this guy have are in the least interesting, but what I dislike in them is that it seems to put too value on the women in question. In the end, you offer yourself to her whenever she needs too, but she will be there to you when YOU need her ? Knowing women, I think that if you start with this kind of aproach, you are accepting to be her toy.
What do you think, Soporno ?

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a girls boytoy to be played with, especially if you are everyone's favorite toy. Besides, once she gets used to it then initiating sex will be seamless regardless of who does it. The point is to get the process started

 

[Johnny Soporno]

In the end, you offer yourself to her whenever she needs too, but she will be there to you when YOU need her ? Knowing women, I think that if you start with this kind of approach, you are accepting to be her toy.

What do you think, Soporno ?

I disagree - I find you establish yourself as her DESPERATELY NEEDED friend and confidant. Women DON'T TRUST OTHER WOMEN, because they know better - but they WILL trust an honorable man, and confide in him with the deepest, darkest secrets.

Whenever I have needed ANYTHING there have been women who've loved me anxious and enthusiastic to help in every way. To be honest, I think I have had consistently better genuine friendships with women I've slept with, than with men I've merely considered friends.

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[jacob]

Johnny the first post is very true.

I've had couple girls just because I told them in the beginning nothing else but eff buddies, although they do fall in love with you and want you all to themselves but then the moment you start to make exclusive with them then you become afc.

They want to have their cake and eat it too.

 

[Warrior74]

I disagree - I find you establish yourself as her DESPERATELY NEEDED friend and confidant. Women DON'T TRUST OTHER WOMEN, because they know better - but they WILL trust an honorable man, and confide in him with the deepest, darkest secrets.

Whenever I have needed ANYTHING there have been women who've loved me anxious and enthusiastic to help in every way. To be honest, I think I have had consistently better genuine friendships with women I've slept with, than with men I've merely considered friends.

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

This!

All of my close female friends who are like family...I have slept with (except 1). They will and have done anything for me. And they still cheer me on when I'm dating someone.

 

[2.0]

This isn't how to get a girl friend to be your girlfriend. This is how to get your girl friend to sleep with you, a very different thing. Very useful information, but you got my hopes up.

In any case, the advice is good! How do you go about bringing up the topic to her? And also, if she says no will that make things awkward or will you be able to keep on being friends?

 

[Johnny Soporno]

This isn't how to get a girl friend to be your girlfriend. This is how to get your girl friend to sleep with you, a very different thing. Very useful information, but you got my hopes up.

Sorry, Deuce...

This isn't a method for converting a girl friend into YOUR GIRLFRIEND per se, although that is potentially a possibility later on, if you both determine you'd be better-off as a couple than as simply close-friends who sleep together occasionally.

In any case, the advice is good!

Thanks

How do you go about bringing up the topic to her? And also, if she says no will that make things awkward or will you be able to keep on being friends?

Please go back over the OP a couple of times - I cover both your questions pretty well in the original post, I believe?

Whenever you feel your relationship ON A FRIENDLY BASIS is secure and genuine ENOUGH, you may simply begin expressing how you view things (as I have laid out here) and then LEAVE IT WITH HER!!

Odds are VERY GOOD that she'll take you up on it, IF SHE TRULY BELIEVES YOU ARE AUTHENTIC, AND THAT YOU MEAN WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

Good luck with this!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[SXS]

Women DON'T TRUST OTHER WOMEN, because they know better - but they WILL trust an honorable man, and confide in him with the deepest, darkest secrets.

Women don't trust other women because when they tell their girlfriends about stupid things they do, the girlfriend will be honest and tell them the truth, even though she does not want to hear it, while a man will most of the time be nice with them.

Whenever I have needed ANYTHING there have been women who've loved me anxious and enthusiastic to help in every way. To be honest, I think I have had consistently better genuine friendships with women I've slept with, than with men I've merely considered friends.

What I was saying is, when YOU want sex, they will be there for you ? Because I have slept with many friends, but is usually when they want to.
But, well, you cannot have everything, right ?

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Women DON'T TRUST OTHER WOMEN, because they know better - but they WILL trust an honorable man, and confide in him with the deepest, darkest secrets.

Women don't trust other women because when they tell their girlfriends about stupid things they do, the girlfriend will be honest and tell them the truth, even though she does not want to hear it, while a man will most of the time be nice with them.

Um, we must have different definitions of 'trust'?

I would ONLY trust a person who would be honest to me, even when they knew that telling me the truth might be painful for me to accept.

I would NOT trust a person who might consider me a RIVAL, and use her privileged insights against me, as most women presume other women would.

Whenever I have needed ANYTHING there have been women who've loved me anxious and enthusiastic to help in every way. To be honest, I think I have had consistently better genuine friendships with women I've slept with, than with men I've merely considered friends.

What I was saying is, when YOU want sex, they will be there for you?
Because I have slept with many friends, but is usually when they want to.

But, well, you cannot have everything, right ?

I can't think of an situations where I've made an advance and not been well-received by any of my female friends not currently in the throes of an exclusive relationship at the time... But honestly, I'm not 'needy' for sex, and I don't really recall ever having 'asked' for sex, I just put the suggestions out and waited to hear back.

As for having everything, who cares? I certainly have plenty

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[Someone Much cooler]

Johnny Soporno
I agree completly with you, except i try and to do it on my terms. I've had a friend with benifits and for the most part we have ahd a pretty smooth friendship.
Basically what i try and do to acomplish this is to appeal to them in most ways but not in everything they look for in a boyfriend. This doesnt work with all girls, mainly just the ones that are hoes or really confident. Mine was a ho, but she also had a 4.0 gpa in college