Conversation with Friend - Thoughts?

[Yo'Mama]

I met a very good friend for lunch the other day. I haven't seen him for a long time because I was living abroad, but I'm back now.

This guy used to be a bit of a hellraiser but now he's very focused on career (and doing very well, which he totally deserves).

He's divorced but is now living with a new girl (HB5). I'm 36, he's 34 and she's 32.

I told him basically I had decided that settling down wasn't for me and I was going to go it alone for the foreseeable future. He told me, 'You've got another six years before no bangable woman will find you attractive at all.' To be clear, this wasn't a personal insult (I look younger than my age). He was saying that after 42, no youngish woman is going to be attracted to a guy that age. I didn't tell him that I'd slept with a 21 year old a couple of weeks previously. I also didn't point out that by his logic, by the time he's 42, his own girlfriend (he will marry her) won't be bangable.

Aside from that I just don't think it's true at all. I thought it was a really weird and kind of barbed thing for him to say, almost akin to the 'shaming' that women would do of older guys going for younger girls. I told him I disagreed but didn't turn it into some argument.

Part of me was amused by what he said and his naivety, part of me was irritated and part of me wondered if he might be right. For me 'bangable' means up to about 36. It doesn't seem at all unrealistic for a guy into his late forties or early fifties even to be banging pretty hot women up to 36.

Was he talking utter nonsense or do you think there's some truth in what he's saying?

 

[Zunder]

I met a very good friend for lunch the other day. I haven't seen him for a long time because I was living abroad, but I'm back now.

This guy used to be a bit of a hellraiser but now he's very focused on career (and doing very well, which he totally deserves).

He's divorced but is now living with a new girl (HB5). I'm 36, he's 34 and she's 32.

I told him basically I had decided that settling down wasn't for me and I was going to go it alone for the foreseeable future. He told me, 'You've got another six years before no bangable woman will find you attractive at all.' To be clear, this wasn't a personal insult (I look younger than my age). He was saying that after 42, no youngish woman is going to be attracted to a guy that age. I didn't tell him that I'd slept with a 21 year old a couple of weeks previously. I also didn't point out that by his logic, by the time he's 42, his own girlfriend (he will marry her) won't be bangable.

Aside from that I just don't think it's true at all. I thought it was a really weird and kind of barbed thing for him to say, almost akin to the 'shaming' that women would do of older guys going for younger girls. I told him I disagreed but didn't turn it into some argument.

Part of me was amused by what he said and his naivety, part of me was irritated and part of me wondered if he might be right. For me 'bangable' means up to about 36. It doesn't seem at all unrealistic for a guy into his late forties or early fifties even to be banging pretty hot women up to 36.

Was he talking utter nonsense or do you think there's some truth in what he's saying?

Your friend is a fukwit, and is talking absolut shyt. And you know it.
Btw, he is not your friend.

 

[MOTU]

YM, my guess is he is reflecting back his own insecurities and justifying his own behavior/choices. It's law 36. He has to disdain your path lest he question his own.

That being said, I am 44 and my view of "bangable" is a lot different than it was when I was 36.

I don't think it's a matter of age, it's about SMV; age deducts from your SMV, so you need to offset that with one of the other factors: style, social status, physique, etc. I am fvcking a 39yo shorty who is a h3ll of a lot of fun in the sack. I haven't fvck anyone younger than her since my divorce 15mos ago, but my SMV had gotten quite low as I had allowed myself to become fat and out of shape (but I am down 50lbs, 20 more to go, and I have been in the gym and my arms are looking like tree stumps so I am on the road to recovery).

I know a couple of mid-40's guys who have plenty of early 30's and younger b!tches around, but they have kept their SMV up as they aged.

 

[zekko]

It doesn't seem at all unrealistic for a guy into his late forties or early fifties even to be banging pretty hot women up to 36

He's talking nonsense, basically. I think you have the age range for guys down pretty well. I feel like at 53, I am just right now beginning the downhill slide. Definitely a man can be very attractive to women while he's still in his 40s. I had a 22 year old interested in me last year. I have a friend my age who bangs young girls 18-24 regularly.

But as you get older, your view of what you find sexy might change also. I mean, don't get me wrong, young and fertile women will always be attractive to a man, no matter what age he is. But some of those older women will start to look good to you too. Not all, but some. My current girlfriend is 38, but we got together when she was 28. She looks just as good to me today as she ever did. But I remember when I was around 24, I figured any girl over 30 was too old to look good lol. Now there are women I know who are around 55 that I find incredibly sexy, and I would bang them in a heartbeat (if I wasn't taken).

Now you don't want to be like Donald Sterling, who is 80 years old, crying because he should have known that a young beautiful woman didn't really care about him. But he was still able to get women to bang him because of his money. And that's all a far cry from what your friend is saying.

 

[MtnMan]

MOTU, i got to say man, I love your posts. You attitude is always positive. Also that is a LOT of weight to loose, good work man.

Nohomo, hah.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Thanks guys. Yeah, i can definitely see myself staying single well into my forties at least. I thought that remark by my friend was sort of barbed because it wad basically saying if you dont settle down like me you'll end up as some lonely loser, the proverbial 'old guy at the bar'.

 

[Colossus]

That's the male equivalent of the "old and lonely" myth. Don't buy it.

I think what Zekko said is true---men will always find young and fertile women attractive, but as you age you start to find SOME older chicks attractive as well.

And as long as you stay in shape (not just un-fat, but visibly in shape), maintain some social skills and keep your wardrobe modern, there is no reason you can't pull girls 20 years your junior well on to 50. I bet you my dad could easily date women around 30 if he wasn't married, and he's almost 59. He takes care of himself.

 

[guru1000]

I don't subscribe to the SMV theory. As Latinoman once said:

Late 30s men are stronger than late 20s men in pursuing late 20s women.

Late 40s men are stronger than late 30s men in pursuing late 30s women.

And so forth.

 

[VladPatton]

Been there, and it's all bullshıt!

Yeah I had one of those so called friends. Had, being the key word here. He told me I was 38, I was half way to being dead, and that I didn't have my shıt together with women (no LTR in sight) and that my life is not going anywhere. We were drinking at the time and it didn't phase me. When I woke up I had heart palpitations and these anxiety/adrenaline bursts. I had them for well over 3 months afterwards because I was, like you said, "worried". When I finally got a grip, I rid myself of the anxiety, and this jerk off who owns nothing in this world and is jobless. His only possession and trophy is his gf which is on a mile-high pedestal. Fun fact: She gets fatter by the month to boot. Way to go, buddy! :rockon:

I had no reason to be affected by this fückwad! It's all ramblings of stupidity and declaration of an illusion of having figured out life. These guys ain't figured out shıt! No intelligent, educated person will state a generalization in regards to women. Soooo fück those guys who tell you all that BS.

Truth is no one has any of this figured out. Do your won thing and never let anyone take you of your intended course. Change the subject ASAP, or don't even bring it up.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Yeah I had one of those so called friends. Had, being the key word here. He told me I was 38, I was half way to being dead, and that I didn't have my shıt together with women (no LTR in sight) and that my life is not going anywhere. We were drinking at the time and it didn't phase me. When I woke up I had heart palpitations and these anxiety/adrenaline bursts. I had them for well over 3 months afterwards because I was, like you said, "worried". When I finally got a grip, I rid myself of the anxiety, and this jerk off who owns nothing in this world and is jobless. His only possession and trophy is his gf which is on a mile-high pedestal. Fun fact: She gets fatter by the month to boot. Way to go, buddy! :rockon:

I had no reason to be affected by this fückwad! It's all ramblings of stupidity and declaration of an illusion of having figured out life. These guys ain't figured out shıt! No intelligent, educated person will state a generalization in regards to women. Soooo fück those guys who tell you all that BS.

Truth is no one has any of this figured out. Do your won thing and never let anyone take you of your intended course. Change the subject ASAP, or don't even bring it up.

Thanks Vlad, and others, for responses. I'm now thinking the guy was a complete douche for saying this. And this is a supposedly close friend. I mean even if he was 100% right, why say it? But I don't think he's 100% right or close to it. His girlfriend is also a long way from being bangable even at 32. I wouldn't tell him that! I told him she is really pretty because he's a friend and I want him to feel good about himself.

The guy is doing extremely well in his career, which is good for him (he deserves it, he's worked very hard). I'm doing just ok (but have so much more free time) but dating a variety of far hotter women that the one he's with. If he's happy with his lifestyle, great. I prefer mine. But I'd never say to him, 'In six years your gf/wife will look even rougher than she does now and you'll have lost the remainder of your thinning hair from working 18 hour days in the pursuit of money'.

Back to the issue - I'm really sure that guys in their forties and older can get bangable women. Hell there are some women in their forties I would bang now, although they're the exception rather than the rule. But, yeah, I see lots of hot 39 year olds. And as a few posters have said guys in their forties can realistically get girls from late twenties onwards. I banged a 21 year old the other day (although to be fair she wasn't all that) and am sleeping with a hot 28 year old now. Plus if you look at the guys youngish women swoon over, many of them are in their late forties or older.

My conclusion therefore is that my friend is talking absolute nonsense and it's certainly not going to have any effect on my decision to not get married (and I have absolutely had that option available). Maybe when he's bored in a few years and realises that women still do want him (especially given that he'll have serious $$$ by that point), he'll realise he was wrong too!

 

[MOTU]

MOTU, i got to say man, I love your posts. You attitude is always positive. Also that is a LOT of weight to loose, good work man.

Nohomo, hah.

Thanks dude, I have enjoyed keeping up with your progress as well. It seems we got back in the game about the same time and under similar circumstances.

 

[VladPatton]

Thanks Vlad, and others, for responses. I'm now thinking the guy was a complete douche for saying this. And this is a supposedly close friend. I mean even if he was 100% right, why say it? But I don't think he's 100% right or close to it. His girlfriend is also a long way from being bangable even at 32. I wouldn't tell him that! I told him she is really pretty because he's a friend and I want him to feel good about himself.

The guy is doing extremely well in his career, which is good for him (he deserves it, he's worked very hard). I'm doing just ok (but have so much more free time) but dating a variety of far hotter women that the one he's with. If he's happy with his lifestyle, great. I prefer mine. But I'd never say to him, 'In six years your gf/wife will look even rougher than she does now and you'll have lost the remainder of your thinning hair from working 18 hour days in the pursuit of money'.

Back to the issue - I'm really sure that guys in their forties and older can get bangable women. Hell there are some women in their forties I would bang now, although they're the exception rather than the rule. But, yeah, I see lots of hot 39 year olds. And as a few posters have said guys in their forties can realistically get girls from late twenties onwards. I banged a 21 year old the other day (although to be fair she wasn't all that) and am sleeping with a hot 28 year old now. Plus if you look at the guys youngish women swoon over, many of them are in their late forties or older.

My conclusion therefore is that my friend is talking absolute nonsense and it's certainly not going to have any effect on my decision to not get married (and I have absolutely had that option available). Maybe when he's bored in a few years and realises that women still do want him (especially given that he'll have serious $$$ by that point), he'll realise he was wrong too!

You know when you should get married? When all your friends are going through divorces with their fat wives LOL!