Contact or ignore her?

silverwex

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hi all,

right theres this girl who i was seeing for a week or two, things were going slowly, but surely, and we both seemed to be having a laugh.

Anyway i asked her out one night and she said yeah. The night of the date came and she pulled out (coz she was 'busy' going for a fitness walk with her friend). I said ok, and met her the same night after her walk, walked her home, teased her, applied C+F etc. We were having a laugh and then i turned serious for a minuet saying usually i dont accpect it when girls pull out of dates. After this we went back to kissing and talking.

She then contacted me the day after saying, "are u looking for a serious relationship coz i dnt think im ready for one yet". I said no, justa casual thing. Didnt hear back from her.

Then last friday night i saw her out, told myself to wait for her to come to me first. She did. I then did something AFC - apologised for getting serious with her bout the date. She said its ok. We kissed. Then i told her id better let her go back off to her friends and i got back to mine.

NExt night, saw her in a bar, ignored her, she also ignored me. HEaded onto a club and saw her again. Once again she ignored me. A while later i went over to her and tried to talk to her but she said she had to go off somewhere and walked off.

HEr friend then asked her what the story between her and me was. She said she just wanted to have fun but she did like me.

I said fine, and asked her friend to dance, we frenched. Then when i came back i saw 'my girl' kissing some other fella (a friend of hers). I couldnt handle it and left the club. (apparently before they frenched, 'my girls' friend told her i had frenched with her).

ANyway i went out again the next night and she was frenching the same fella again. It hit me bad.

The thing i wanna know is should i contact her, in say, 2 weeks and ask her hows she getting on? OR should i ignore her and see if she contacts me first?

Thanks guys. Im beginning to get over her but sometimes it comes back and hits me hard! :(
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Originally posted by silverwex

Anyway i asked her out one night and she said yeah. The night of the date came and she pulled out (coz she was 'busy' going for a fitness walk with her friend).
I would have thrown her number in the garbage after she pulled this. Broken dates mean it's over. Move on.
 

Oscar Wilde

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Re: Re: Contact or ignore her?

Originally posted by Dust 2 Dust
I would have thrown her number in the garbage after she pulled this. Broken dates mean it's over. Move on.
You may be right in nexting her, but that's the wrong reason. You need to read the tip about not nexting so easily (what newbies do).

Osc.
 

silverwex

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Oscar, you're from Ireland, you'd understand Irish chicks better than the rest of the guys on the board.

What do you suggest I do?
 

bugsquish

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silver, i seen three posts about this same chick :) i think u already lost her by caring so much. u learned for next time right?
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

silverwex

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hi bugsquish,

yeah i think i may have lost her - not 100% sure tho. altho a friend of mine has said that she does like me and all but doesnt want a boyfriend at the moment. Oh and dont worry - i know im really AFC here on the board but when im with her im confident, a challenge etc...

And yeah i have leanred from it - this has happened a lot to me - its been v hard but ive learned soo much! What one of my friends said to me a few days ago - "You played it 95% right but you did make one or two mistakes that really went against ya!" - he doesnt know about this site but he does know all about psycology and being a challenge etc...

Ok i may have lost her but should i consider contacting her in the next week or two?
 

Quick

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Why not contact her? She doesn't want a boyfriend because she wants to date around, as she's shown by hooking up with this other guy right after you. That should mean she's still open to hooking up with you. Just make sure you don't try to pursue a relationship with her. And just make sure you disinfect her mouth before you kiss her again. I suggest lysol, but girls don't seem to like the taste.
 

bugsquish

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Since I found this site I have met about 10 cute chicks that I see regularly and even got intimate with to varying degrees. But not one of them is as involved my life as I would like. I think even one or 2 AFC mistakes is enough to screw your chances, as well as trying too hard to overcompensate (by ignoring etc.)

One thing I've noticed is that once IL starts dropping it's even harder to rekindle it than it was to get it in the first place. Ten times harder! And trying is dangerous to the old self esteem meter.

But the best thing about it is I don't care now! It's just a learning process, and they're all just cannon fodder. Plenty more where they came from. Looks like we're well on the road to being DJs if we can just forget chicks that outlive their usefulness to our self esteem.
 

DankNuggs

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get rid of one itis, listen, I've read all your posts about this chick, and it is so obvious she wants nothing to do with being serious with you in any way. Don't call, or do anything. You seem to see her out on the town alot, so ignore her, and have fun. No need to chase a girl who wants nothing to do with you other than use you .
 

silverwex

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Saw her tonight...

Hi man,

YEah you're right, shes a little bytch.

Saw a group of her mates, and her, on the street today. One of her mates said hello to me with a wave and a smile but she just kept her head down. I said hello back and continued on my way.

Like, why would she keep her head down and not even look over?!! Such a sad thing to do. Im not the most confident AND im hurting coz of her at the moment but i still manage a wave, a smile and a hello!!

They can be such idiots at time eh...?
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

icehot

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Dude, take the advise that you've gotten so far.

IGNORE HER! Become a cold-hearted bastard. Next time you see her with your mates, say hi to them and pretend she doesn't even exist. No waving or smiling. Nothing.


-iceH
 

Jay26

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Let her go, cut yourself loose. You are too interested too early for any good to come from it. Pursuiting this chick is already starting to sap your energy and confidence, keep it up and it'll all be gone eventually!
 
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