Confused, Confused, Confused - Please help Pro's

[Realityburn]

Hey there all, the name is Llew

Here's my situation.

Friday night [last night] I decided to go buy a lovely vase of flowers for a girl i've known for a long time, a girl that shares alot of same emotional similarities with me [complain about the same stuff generally, how people are unfaithful, etc, you get my drift?] we also generally go over to my house and watch movies alot of the time and I give her rides to and from work and she's slept the night over at my house at least 2-3 times.

I haven't made a move, but deserately want to, but am unsure of if I should or NOT!

Its late Saturday [8:30pm] now, and I haven't recieved a call back from her at all.

I need advise! What do I do, say, act?

Should I make a move on her?
Should I call her?

I need help, I really admire and adore this girl

 

[golf299]

yes, make a move on her. call her up and tell her that you're going to xxx tongiht and she should come along. make sure it's something fun, and even if she doesnt go, then go yourself.

if she does wind up going, then make a move before the night is over...good luck, mate!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Realityburn
Hey there all, the name is Llew

Here's my situation.

Friday night [last night] I decided to go buy a lovely vase of flowers for a girl i've known for a long time,

Its late Saturday [8:30pm] now, and I haven't recieved a call back from her at all.

I need advise! What do I do, say, act?

Should I make a move on her?
Should I call her?

I need help, I really admire and adore this girl

Are you a troll? This doesn't make sense - why buy a vase of flowers? Did you put them on her doorstep and ring her doorbeel and then run and hide in the brush??

If that is the case, then You already made your move and a very weak one!

 

[Realityburn]

No, im not a troll

She was at work at the time so I knew exactly where she was, maybe I should have taken a different approach.

I need advise not critism, you can start by giving me advise Puerto_Rican lover, or leave not make comment at all, I don't see what your getting at be-littling my approach when I already know it may be flawed and am asking the Pro's here.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Realityburn
Hey there all, the name is Llew

Here's my situation.

Friday night [last night] I decided to go buy a lovely vase of flowers for a girl i've known for a long time, a girl that shares alot of same emotional similarities with me [complain about the same stuff generally, how people are unfaithful, etc, you get my drift?] we also generally go over to my house and watch movies alot of the time and I give her rides to and from work and she's slept the night over at my house at least 2-3 times.

I haven't made a move, but deserately want to, but am unsure of if I should or NOT!

Its late Saturday [8:30pm] now, and I haven't recieved a call back from her at all.

I need advise! What do I do, say, act?

Should I make a move on her?
Should I call her?

I need help, I really admire and adore this girl

One thing that is cause for concern is when you say you've known her for a long time. One common trap is falling in the "friends zone". The risk of this increases greatly with time. It also increases greatly with seeing each other a lot just as friends. The more intimate things you do as FRIENDS (i.e. sleeping over), the WORSE off you are. You may think the opposite right now. "She knows me well, knows I'm a great guy..." etc. However, remember attraction doesn't work based on logic like that, it works based on EMOTION and NOT logic for women.

The type of things you explained you did with her seem very consistent with being placed in the friends zone as well. I'm afraid you may have ben transformed into one of her girl friends. I think sleeping over as friends may have sealed the deal.

My advice is to tread carefully...very carefully. Announcing you have feelings toward her abruptly may cause A LOT of tension. There is a slight possiblity that she may even secretly feel the same way, but this usually isn't the case in these types of scenarios.

#1: Hold the gifts.

#2: Feel her out first. Don't jump the gun and gush out all your feelings towards her. Try a bit of innocent flirting first. Read her reactions...is she uncomfortable?, is she flirting back?, etc.

Based on that decide where to go.

 

[FunnyCide]

Originally posted by Realityburn
No, im not a troll

She was at work at the time so I knew exactly where she was, maybe I should have taken a different approach.

I need advise not critism, you can start by giving me advise Puerto_Rican lover, or leave not make comment at all, I don't see what your getting at be-littling my approach when I already know it may be flawed and am asking the Pro's here.

Take a look around some of the best posts and you'll see that buying a vase a flowers is a major mistake....are you trying to buy her. It look like that she was already waiting for you to make a move so you better make it quick or you'll lose your chance. There isn't a perfect move but just boldy let her know you want more than friendship with a strong move like going for a kiss. Oh yeah, stop putting her so high above yourself or she will run your life.

 

[Realityburn]

Your probably right TillTheEndOfTime, thanks for your advise.

It might have been a bit abrupt, but im almost sure she knows, one day it was gonna happen, that in itself is hard to explain.

I have been complimenting her a bit more than I do usually, telling her she looks great, or oh my that perfume smells wonderful, stuff like that..

she's always ranting about massages as well but i've never taken her up on it ...BAKA BAKA

Can you describe innocent flirting for me..?

 

[Grey Fox]

You have bigger problems than just getting the attention of this girl. You seriously need to read up on the DJ Bible, and for now you are one of those guys who has to follow it militantly. I would give you the advise of simply calling her up and taking her out somewhere you want to go; but you are so pressed on this girl that you'd probably either suffer a panic attack and get hospitalized or turn into rambling cheeseball. You place to much on importance upon having this girl. You make it sound like the whole being of your exsitance tetters on having your way with one random ho.

The best thing you can do right now is simply just ask her out, and do your thing. Of course you're not going to fair well since you are way to emotionally involved before you've even been together for at least 3 months, plus there is no quick lesson that will get your mind in the right place. Just go and do. If you fail, learn from it and feel free to learn from the Bible, tips and anyone kind enough to give you advise. If you should do well, keep in mind what it was that allowed you to do well and work from that.

-Grey Fox

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by FunnyCide
Take a look around some of the best posts and you'll see that buying a vase a flowers is a major mistake....are you trying to buy her. It look like that she was already waiting for you to make a move so you better make it quick or you'll lose your chance. There isn't a perfect move but just boldy let her know you want more than friendship with a strong move like going for a kiss. Oh yeah, stop putting her so high above yourself or she will run your life.

You boldly make moves with women you just met recently. Long time friends are a whole different story. Many friendships have been ripped apart by bold moves like that. If you care at all about the friendship I strongly advise against bold moves with a friend. Imagine a girl you're good friends with who you see as like the sister you've never had lay a big one on you. Wouldn't that make you very uncomfortable?

 

[Realityburn]

Thanks for the information gents. Im gonna hit a club tonite, Im not going to ****en camp my phone all night, later.

Ill be back later for updates

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Realityburn
Your probably right TillTheEndOfTime, thanks for your advise.

It might have been a bit abrupt, but im almost sure she knows, one day it was gonna happen, that in itself is hard to explain.

I have been complimenting her a bit more than I do usually, telling her she looks great, or oh my that perfume smells wonderful, stuff like that..

she's always ranting about massages as well but i've never taken her up on it ...BAKA BAKA

Can you describe innocent flirting for me..?

Find excuses to touch her. Like when you're watching a movie together brush up beside her.

Is SHE asking for a massage, or offering to give you one. That is an excellent place to start.

P.S. I also agree with Grey Fox. You sound like you're too into her. Just remember to keep your head together and that there are plenty of other women out there and you don't *NEED* her to have fun. This type of attitude is more likely to get you places than the obsessive attitude. Remember until you're in a long term relationship/marriage, no single women should be worth all your attention.

 

[FunnyCide]

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
You boldly make moves with women you just met recently. Long time friends are a whole different story. Many friendships have been ripped apart by bold moves like that. If you care at all about the friendship I strongly advise against bold moves with a friend. Imagine a girl you're good friends with who you see as like the sister you've never had lay a big one on you. Wouldn't that make you very uncomfortable?

I thought he knew this girl for a while but recently starting hanging out with her but it was moving toward the friendzone. And in that case I would give my advice. BTW Time, If that good-friend was hot then I wouldn't minds at all

I agree that you should start casually flirting with her. Kino is great to let her know you're interested. Anything to create sexual tension which will have her thinking of you outside the friendzone.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Realityburn
No, im not a troll

She was at work at the time so I knew exactly where she was, maybe I should have taken a different approach.

I need advise not critism, you can start by giving me advise Puerto_Rican lover, or leave not make comment at all, I don't see what your getting at be-littling my approach when I already know it may be flawed and am asking the Pro's here.

If you gave her flowers at her work that was a no-no - she probably was shocked and embarased - what was her reaction and why are you expecting her to call??

For her not to call you right away is not a good/positive sign!!

I was just joking about ringing the doorbell and hiding (I pictured it in my head though) but you didn't describe the situation well nor did you describe her initial reaction!

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
You boldly make moves with women you just met recently. Long time friends are a whole different story. Many friendships have been ripped apart by bold moves like that. If you care at all about the friendship I strongly advise against bold moves with a friend. Imagine a girl you're good friends with who you see as like the sister you've never had lay a big one on you. Wouldn't that make you very uncomfortable?

no im a slut.

 

[Sabre]

The friendzone isn't THAT bad is it...? Wouldn't she introduce you to her friends that are like her? Then you start dating them (doing it well) Wouldn't she grow increaseingly jealous and thats when you make the move? Besides, even if you don't have her as a g/f... your not completly lost, you got a friend out of it.

I dunno... just a thought

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Sabre
The friendzone isn't THAT bad is it...? ...Your not completly lost, you got a friend out of it.

Please reserve these comments for the Oprah Winfrey show!!

He is not pursuing her to be her "friend" - he is pursuing her as a man should pursue a woman!!!

 

[Realityburn]

-UPDATE-

So late Saturday night she gets online and she messages me along the lines of

Her: Hey
Me: Whats up
Her: I got your flowers, they were very sweet
Me: Thats good, hope you liked em
Her: Heh, I thought they were from Mike at first [-note- her room-mate who she hates]
Me: lol, I figured you might think something like that at first
Her: Yah, wouldn't be anything new, he's given me flowers before, only in hopes of getting ass though
Me: lol, yah that sounds like Mike

Rest of the convo I can't remember, wasn't a long convo, she said BRB and signed off, never got back on. I didn't get heads of what her answer was.

I read the Bible, have no idea on how to proceed

 

[DJDamage]

I like your name Realityburn because it fits your situation. You got yourself a friend! you gave her flowers while still a friend and thats a big no no because you showed her how desperate you were.

As for your conversation online and your sitution- my conclusion is this

a) youv' got oneitis.

b) you are an emotional tampon.

a +b = C which equals frustration, pain and suffering.

And no you did not read the DJ bible because if you did, you would know that the situation is pretty much beyond repair and you are better off going out and start pursing other women.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Realityburn
-UPDATE-

Me: lol, I figured you might think something like that at first
Her: Yah, wouldn't be anything new, he's given me flowers before, only in hopes of getting ass though
Me: lol, yah that sounds like Mike

I read the Bible, have no idea on how to proceed

Ok, the same way she knew this other guy wanted her ass, now she knows you want hers too! You already made your move!

Get on with your life. Don't worry about her anymore. If she wants something she'll call you or give a signal. Look for other chicks and start reading the material here! Take your time and good luck!

 

[Realityburn]

Thanks,

your probably right, I'll probably just revert back to my normal schedule of hitting the gym and soaking my time up with work and hobbies for now.

I won't show any weakness