alotofpots
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2013
- Messages
- 16
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Hello all. I have a problem that I have not experienced yet surprisingly, and need some advice or predictions on what exactly will happen from those who have experienced this problem already. If nothing else, this should be a good read.
[The Backstory]
Several months ago when I was in a relationship, I met this really pretty girl through a friend. She is young (18) and I'm a bit older than her (23). We were hanging out and though she didn't catch my interest really (I have high standards), I caught hers with the whole ****y and funny thing, which I do very well. She told me to add her on Facebook after the brief interaction, so I did.
A few months later I ask her to hang out as friends on FB, and we do. I don't treat her as a friend really though, and do the typical things the pros suggest, such as teasing her, being ****y and funny, etc. I don't see her often though, and keep things casual, maybe seeing her once every 3 weeks.
My relationship wasn't going anywhere, so I ended it with the girl I was with. A little before that, she had started a relationship with a guy, so now the shoe was on the other foot so to speak. We would still hang out, but not that often still, and I was really turning up the attraction dials with her now that I was single and wouldn't feel bad about it. The whole time her then boyfriend would get jealous whenever we'd hang out, and I'd just laugh it off and play it cool. Like clockwork, after a month or two, they split because of his jealous tendencies and we started hanging out more, only now we were both single, and my alpha male personality was coming out full force. I decided to take things slow though, since she just got out of a relationship and since I wanted to make sure she was worth the investment. My standards were definitely raised after my last failed relationship, so I decided the next girl had to really be up to par.
I was doing everything right; not showing her as much as she would show me, making her earn my attention and acts of kindness, teasing her, being ****y and funny, taking the lead in situations, even being a bit of a playful *******, but then showing a serious side by the end of the night and having deep conversations. We are both very intelligent, so these conversations really hit home for me and that's when I knew I wanted this girl. Of course, I didn't make this known, but you know. Keep in mind this all of isn't an act either, just my natural personality; I was able to display it full force with her. We were seeing each other once a week, and around the 3rd or date, we kissed. From then on, things have gotten more serious (with each confrontation escalating closer and closer to sex, but me withdrawing and teasing and not committing to the act yet to build anticipation, and to go along with wanting to take it slow), and she's very into me now. But there's a problem and a slight roadblock impeding my progress.
[The Current Situation]
Back around that third date, she decided she wanted to throw a test my way. She started hanging out with another guy who was interested in her and hitting her up, and boy did she ever make it known she was seeing him on her Facebook. It was very obviously a jealousy test, and I played it cool and ignored it, while talking to other girls and making it known as well. She hung out with him two times, making it known each time, and both times I ignored it and played it cool. I passed the test with flying colors, and that stopped.
Problem is, I guess she started having actual feelings for the guy, because she would still see him, and she informed me several days ago that she likes him too and that they've kissed as well. He is a good looking guy; as good looking as I am if not moreso, and I'm not ashamed to admit that; but there are some key differences. He is younger (18), inexperienced, doesn't do any of the things I do that she has told me she likes me a lot for (being confident, not getting jealous, having deep conversations) and is being a really really nice guy to her. He has shown he is jealous of me and has gotten angry at her for liking me at the start, as well, while I have remained indifferent to him and keep doing my own thing, while talking to other girls as well and making it known to her. Overall, he is displaying very wussy behavior, so I'm thinking this is another test more than anything, or a way to make me speed things up. Still though, with my experience with women, it seems as if she does actually like this guy, but I definitely think she likes me more, as every time we see each other she seems to fall harder for me.
There are missing details with this, but basically, I would like to know what exactly is going on, and how to move forward with everything. Is she using him in order to get me to escalate things quicker, or does she actually like this guy? Is she just leading him on to fall back on in case things don't work out with me? Do I honestly have anything to worry about from this guy if, despite his good looks. everything else about him is wussy, jealous, needy and overly nice? Remember, she has told me flat out the reason she likes me so much is because I am the complete opposite of this; I don't get jealous, I'm confident, and she has to earn everything I give her.
And one last thing; if this girl actually does pick this guy over me, what should I do then? Ignore her, act indifferent towards the situation but still talk to her and see other chicks, or what?
Thanks for reading. This girl is special to me, so any advice you have is appreciated.
[The Backstory]
Several months ago when I was in a relationship, I met this really pretty girl through a friend. She is young (18) and I'm a bit older than her (23). We were hanging out and though she didn't catch my interest really (I have high standards), I caught hers with the whole ****y and funny thing, which I do very well. She told me to add her on Facebook after the brief interaction, so I did.
A few months later I ask her to hang out as friends on FB, and we do. I don't treat her as a friend really though, and do the typical things the pros suggest, such as teasing her, being ****y and funny, etc. I don't see her often though, and keep things casual, maybe seeing her once every 3 weeks.
My relationship wasn't going anywhere, so I ended it with the girl I was with. A little before that, she had started a relationship with a guy, so now the shoe was on the other foot so to speak. We would still hang out, but not that often still, and I was really turning up the attraction dials with her now that I was single and wouldn't feel bad about it. The whole time her then boyfriend would get jealous whenever we'd hang out, and I'd just laugh it off and play it cool. Like clockwork, after a month or two, they split because of his jealous tendencies and we started hanging out more, only now we were both single, and my alpha male personality was coming out full force. I decided to take things slow though, since she just got out of a relationship and since I wanted to make sure she was worth the investment. My standards were definitely raised after my last failed relationship, so I decided the next girl had to really be up to par.
I was doing everything right; not showing her as much as she would show me, making her earn my attention and acts of kindness, teasing her, being ****y and funny, taking the lead in situations, even being a bit of a playful *******, but then showing a serious side by the end of the night and having deep conversations. We are both very intelligent, so these conversations really hit home for me and that's when I knew I wanted this girl. Of course, I didn't make this known, but you know. Keep in mind this all of isn't an act either, just my natural personality; I was able to display it full force with her. We were seeing each other once a week, and around the 3rd or date, we kissed. From then on, things have gotten more serious (with each confrontation escalating closer and closer to sex, but me withdrawing and teasing and not committing to the act yet to build anticipation, and to go along with wanting to take it slow), and she's very into me now. But there's a problem and a slight roadblock impeding my progress.
[The Current Situation]
Back around that third date, she decided she wanted to throw a test my way. She started hanging out with another guy who was interested in her and hitting her up, and boy did she ever make it known she was seeing him on her Facebook. It was very obviously a jealousy test, and I played it cool and ignored it, while talking to other girls and making it known as well. She hung out with him two times, making it known each time, and both times I ignored it and played it cool. I passed the test with flying colors, and that stopped.
Problem is, I guess she started having actual feelings for the guy, because she would still see him, and she informed me several days ago that she likes him too and that they've kissed as well. He is a good looking guy; as good looking as I am if not moreso, and I'm not ashamed to admit that; but there are some key differences. He is younger (18), inexperienced, doesn't do any of the things I do that she has told me she likes me a lot for (being confident, not getting jealous, having deep conversations) and is being a really really nice guy to her. He has shown he is jealous of me and has gotten angry at her for liking me at the start, as well, while I have remained indifferent to him and keep doing my own thing, while talking to other girls as well and making it known to her. Overall, he is displaying very wussy behavior, so I'm thinking this is another test more than anything, or a way to make me speed things up. Still though, with my experience with women, it seems as if she does actually like this guy, but I definitely think she likes me more, as every time we see each other she seems to fall harder for me.
There are missing details with this, but basically, I would like to know what exactly is going on, and how to move forward with everything. Is she using him in order to get me to escalate things quicker, or does she actually like this guy? Is she just leading him on to fall back on in case things don't work out with me? Do I honestly have anything to worry about from this guy if, despite his good looks. everything else about him is wussy, jealous, needy and overly nice? Remember, she has told me flat out the reason she likes me so much is because I am the complete opposite of this; I don't get jealous, I'm confident, and she has to earn everything I give her.
And one last thing; if this girl actually does pick this guy over me, what should I do then? Ignore her, act indifferent towards the situation but still talk to her and see other chicks, or what?
Thanks for reading. This girl is special to me, so any advice you have is appreciated.