Common Situation I'm in that I Always Screw Up. Let's Remedy That!

[nicksaiz65]

One of the best things I learned to do was the art of guiding a conversation into a direction that benefits me. I could already have a compliment or joke lined up, and I can guide the convo in a way that let's me deliver what I want to say without it being forced or awkward.

I'm trying desperately to think of an example, but I think it's more of an opportunity thing. Taking the current topic and somehow morphing it into another topic that lets you control the frame. This requires a little bit of skill, but can be mastered if you practice it.

I understand what you’re saying. A lot of it comes from the delivery, I’m sure. I can keep working on that in my interactions too.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If you play guitar OP bring up the idea of a guitar serenade when you have the opportunity. If you're gaming a girl from social circle, you want to get her in a one-on-one dynamic, not invite her someplace "out".

 

[kavi]

Now that I slept on it and I'm ruminating on it a bit, I think you're absolutely correct. I am letting myself fall into the friendzone in these social circle type situations. I didn't even realize that I was.

What has happened to me literally multiple times is this: I'll be in a social circle with a woman that I find quite attractive. I'll end up hanging out with her in a group setting. I want to make a move on her later on. So I'll text her. I usually text for logistics so that I can't fvck myself over with the text messages. But this time, I'll send a message with some intent.

Some Examples of Messages that I've Sent to Try to Get the Date:
"Had fun hanging out with you at the house the other day. You're cute, we should go out and drink some Modelo again."
(After hanging out at a karaoke bar in a group) "You have a really nice singing voice. I want to hear it again. We should jam and hang out, when are you free?"
(Reacting to her Snapchat story. She works at a bar, so she's always posting up. I had played pool with this girl at the bar before) "Damn, you look cute in that pic." *A little conversation back and forth* "We should play pool again sometime, when are you free?"
"Damn, you look sexy af with the new hair."

Every. Single. Time. WITHOUT FAIL, I get left on read.

Your getting on left because there is not chemistry there at all. If you are in a social circle with a girl you see regularly you dont need to take her out of that place until her Interest Level is High. Because you can interact with her often at that social circle you do not need to make any effort to ask for number or anything you just interact and flirt there and then. Once her Interest Level is High then you can ask her out.

Only ask for a date or number if you are certain she is gonna say Yes and has already given choosing signals. Its important to interact with her and build chemistry at the social circle and wait for signals before moving forward.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Since I never had a good wing man, that led me to being a primarily non-bar approaching guy.



Roosh was an approacher more than a social circle guy anyway. His expertise was approaching but not social circle.

As I'll say below, as soon as you identify a woman you are interested in, ask her out. Either for drinks or some mutually enjoyable activity. This does not require a lot of thought. It does not matter whether it is a stranger approacher or a social circle scenario.

With the rejections, say F it and move on. Though in my example above, I'm not all that keen on ever seeing Woman C. I only have to see her at most 2-4 times a year. In 2021, I only saw her at 2 social circle events. It is a reminder of her rejection. However, if I had gotten a date with her, she would not have liked my escalation tactics though. Prudish reputation.

The pusssy wars in my main social group during the early to mid 2010s left some hurt feelings and have made some social interactions more strained.



Always show intent. If you find her attractive, ask her out. Women know why men talk to them.

Bam. Well, that relieves a lot of the stress in my mind.

I guess the only other question floating around in my head would be, are the text messages I’ve sent in the past considered “cringe” or just plain bad game?

I’m in the camp of texting for logistics in general because it’s way too easy for me to put my foot in my mouth and ruin it, I’ve found. It’s also less mental strain.

But a tendency I’ve noticed, is if I feel like I haven’t established enough intent in these Social Circle type situations, I’ll revert to calling her cute over text or on her Snapchat stories or whatever. And still got left on read/flaked on lol.

I’m not sure how to feel about that. I’m not sure if that is sh*tty game or not, tbh.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Your getting on left because there is not chemistry there at all. If you are in a social circle with a girl you see regularly you dont need to take her out of that place until her Interest Level is High. Because you can interact with her often at that social circle you do not need to make any effort to ask for number or anything you just interact and flirt there and then. Once her Interest Level is High then you can ask her out.

Only ask for a date or number if you are certain she is gonna say Yes and has already given choosing signals. Its important to interact with her and build chemistry at the social circle and wait for signals before moving forward.

Ok! I’ve heard this strategy recommended as well. What’s the best way to do this without falling into the friendzone?

 

[kavi]

Ok! I’ve heard this strategy recommended as well. What’s the best way to do this without falling into the friendzone?

There is some stuff flying around but for instance this OP is very valid.

Work on your GAME (Why I Don't Get "Rejected")

I came under some criticism in my Juggler FR for allegedly not being truthful about my "failiures" or "rejections". The reason is that the way I do things most of the time does not put girls in a position to do something to me that would be called a "rejection". Conventional DJ wisdom...

www.sosuave.net

I dont really know you understanding of the game but you basically wanna build attraction before asking for the number.

So it depends of how much time you have. If you know you can see a girl regularly by going to a bar or a party then you have no time pressure but if its a one time social event and you need to get a number at the end its gonna be more rushed and difficult.

You want a strategy that pays off as you spend more time with the woman.

If you are decent looking and are not low-value in some obvious way you can create attraction by your behaviours. To not fall in the friendzone you just need to understand the power dynamic. If you are seeking validation from her you will end up in the friendzone. You need to have an effect on her like excitement and she must lose control of herself to some extent. This in simple terms is she wants you to go and talk to her cause you have given her excitement in the past and now she is thinking about it and wants more.

The excitement and thrill you give her comes from you having fun around her, normally the fun should be high intensity and somewhat risky. This is upto you it can be based on looks, on what you say, body language anything. Its all about doses and knowing she wants the next one, then you give her next one or keep her waiting. Once she gets a dose of you she likes (a convo, a comment, a look) she may want another. Then if she shows she wants another hit you can give her some more attention. But each time you cannot fail, so if you made eye contact with a chick and she held it, then sometime later you can go upto her and say hi or go into her group and join the convo but then you dont even need to address her just she her reaction to you as you talk to the group. If she shows you respect you can engage her directly. Then backoff after a short convo and come back later and you can really take it where you want as long she wants another dose. You can keep a woman frustrated and wanting more indefinitely lol as long you dont seem too weak to make a move maybe you are just messing with her.

Its important you give her space inbetween doses for her to feel that she wants your attention, that is the only way you can get her Interest Level up over time.

You can play the game short and maybe go for number close or take her somewhere else that evening (go for a bang) or play it over time for something more serious, the longer the initial part of this the more seriously she is gonna see it and then the bang will take longer but it depends how you wanna play it.