College Bars and Age Gaps

[BPH]

I've asked about this before and I'm at the point where I want some more feedback.

Lately my plates have fallen off or been knocked out of commission; one just had spinal fusion for a herniated disc, another is going through grief with her cat dying of cancer, another found a simp during Valentine's and is now committed, the one from New Years hasn't visited America since, the older flight attendant from my Tinder FR in Philly I lost interest in, and the one from NJ wanted something more serious.

So just like that I'm back to needing to do some recruiting.

Unfortunately, it's been very cold for several months now, and there's not much to do in Delaware. Last weekend I caved and met some friends out in Trolley (the only real go-to spot for post-college young people) and was immediately reminded why I chose to stop going - 1 or 2 cute girls, packed with guys, only slightly closer than the fun places like Philadelphia or West Chester. I left early and visited a closer bar to my home and saw the same gym employees and 40-somethings that I see there every time. Needless to say, I didn't see anybody I wanted and went home alone.

For the first time in a long time, I'm mentally debating whether I should bother with the college bars again.

Back when I would frequent these spots, part of the reason I visited so often was because I was friends with so many of the staff and had a bunch of perks; I skipped lines, my drinks were often free, and it was always a short drive home/to whatever girl's place.

However, almost all of those friends are gone - I would be waiting in long lines with a bunch of college kids like everybody else. Beyond that, I recall plenty of issues related to my age. I'm currently 30, turning 31 in a month, and when I was 28 I remember a lot of girls going from hot to cold when they asked whether I go to school there and discovered I was several years older. There WERE also a couple of times this worked in my favor - I had a really nice lay where the girl thought it was hot that I was older and kept saying that I was "pushing 30" at the time.

Anyway, I just want to see what some of you think and what you'd recommend here. On one hand, I feel "too old" for this scene; the way I dress, talk, act, carry myself, etc is way different than a lot of these kids do, and waiting in long lines or being crammed shoulder-to-shoulder with them during the downtime of not talking to girls wouldn't be the most fun - especially without friends to go with me or staff to lean on and kill time with. On the other hand, I really don't have good alternatives; Philly and West Chester are each about 40 minutes away, and the former only makes sense if I'm staying over with my friend who lives there with his girlfriend, which rarely happens. I have friends who aren't interested because they've "outgrown" college women by graduating - I still don't mind the gap, but I do think a lot of the girls will, since I'd already run into it when I was even younger than I am now.

Curious what you guys think. I'm not looking for anything serious with any of these women right now so I'd prefer to get advice from guys who are sleeping around with attractive women as opposed to those who are more philosophical or relationship-driven.

 

[SW15]

there's not much to do in Delaware. Last weekend I caved and met some friends out in Trolley (the only real go-to spot for post-college young people) and was immediately reminded why I chose to stop going - 1 or 2 cute girls, packed with guys, only slightly closer than the fun places like Philadelphia or West Chester. I left early and visited a closer bar to my home and saw the same gym employees and 40-somethings that I see there every time. Needless to say, I didn't see anybody I wanted and went home alone.

It makes sense why you did that. Trolley is one of the options you have in Wilmington, DE. Delaware is a bit of a pussie dead zone for post-college women, especially the 25-34 year old childless set.

For the first time in a long time, I'm mentally debating whether I should bother with the college bars again.

Back when I would frequent these spots, part of the reason I visited so often was because I was friends with so many of the staff and had a bunch of perks; I skipped lines, my drinks were often free, and it was always a short drive home/to whatever girl's place.

However, almost all of those friends are gone - I would be waiting in long lines with a bunch of college kids like everybody else. Beyond that, I recall plenty of issues related to my age. I'm currently 30, turning 31 in a month, and when I was 28 I remember a lot of girls going from hot to cold when they asked whether I go to school there and discovered I was several years older. There WERE also a couple of times this worked in my favor - I had a really nice lay where the girl thought it was hot that I was older and kept saying that I was "pushing 30" at the time.

Anyway, I just want to see what some of you think and what you'd recommend here. On one hand, I feel "too old" for this scene; the way I dress, talk, act, carry myself, etc is way different than a lot of these kids do, and waiting in long lines or being crammed shoulder-to-shoulder with them during the downtime of not talking to girls wouldn't be the most fun - especially without friends to go with me or staff to lean on and kill time with. On the other hand, I really don't have good alternatives; Philly and West Chester are each about 40 minutes away, and the former only makes sense if I'm staying over with my friend who lives there with his girlfriend, which rarely happens. I have friends who aren't interested because they've "outgrown" college women by graduating - I still don't mind the gap, but I do think a lot of the girls will, since I'd already run into it when I was even younger than I am now.

Curious what you guys think. I'm not looking for anything serious with any of these women right now so I'd prefer to get advice from guys who are sleeping around with attractive women as opposed to those who are more philosophical or relationship-driven.

I can see why you'd want to go back to those college bars. It'd be awesome to be 30-31 and be hitting on some 21-23 year old college students.

You might be able to do this if you present yourself as a hot, fun guy. Try not to get up in your head about your age. You have a desirable physique so try to entice women based on your desirable height and physique.

It can be challenging for 30-34 year olds to attract women in the 21-23 year old range (thinking about the typical juniors and seniors at the undergrad level). Money helps with this age gap. You don't have money but you have looks.

With the college nearest to me, there are only a few pure college bars in my city nearest to campus. The college students at that university tend to go to the bars in the city that are mixed crowds (not necessarily undergrad and grad students).

When I was in my early 30s, I went to those few pure college bars a couple of times and I felt out of place. I can identify with those feelings.

I think your best options are still Trolley and the college bars. I think you can do reasonably well with short term casual sex in both those Delaware spots. If you present yourself as a hot guy with a pleasant personality, you can get some short term sex from that.

The toughest thing might be you going solo to those nightlife venues due to a lack of friends who can come out to the bars with you. That's a common problem in your age range, and I'll get into that below.

almost all of those friends are gone

Men in their 30s who are unattached (and often childless) often have a difficult time with getting their male friends to go out to bars with them. A lot of 30 something guys have male friends who are in LTRs/married and often these married guys have younger children at home. Some 30s/early 40s guys are able to get around this issue by making new male friends in a similar life stage to them, but that can be difficult to do. Some men might be fortunate and have a friend in their age range get divorced/breakup from a multiyear LTR and then they have a friend to accompany them to the bars.

 

[Travel memoir21]

What you want to do is build Social Momentum man.

You do that by building a lifestyle where your social skills are being practiced daily. Could be taking a few art classes in The University for fun or joining a club in there, playing pick up Basketball games with a bunch of young guys once in a while and starting your own network of buddies, joining a Martial arts or Yoga dojo. Bring a wing man or wing woman with you and stop going to these places alone and start having fun.

Start Enjoying your life today.

You maybe after one night stands, but don't tell me you're not after QUALITY women as well. Go to Church or a temple of worship and congregrate with the people there after a service, head on over to a Bookstore in the weekend and make friends with the coffee shop baristas, volunteer at an animal shelter or food bank etc. These are great places to meet Quality Women. Take your time Grocery Shopping, yes grocery shopping. A great underrated place to meet women.

Judging from your post, you seem uninspired. You build inspiration by cultivating a sense of Spiritual vigor and Spiritual life. You can start by your morning routine, perhaps start your day by going to the gym or a morning jog, once you come back home - 10 minutes of Yoga stretching, 5 minutes of meditation and 10 minutes reading/praying the Scriptures. Take a Cold shower too and take Dance classes while you're at it. I know I'm going to.

 

[BPH]

What you want to do is build Social Momentum man.

You do that by building a lifestyle where your social skills are being practiced daily. Could be taking a few art classes in The University for fun or joining a club in there, playing pick up Basketball games with a bunch of young guys once in a while and starting your own network of buddies, joining a Martial arts or Yoga dojo. Bring a wing man or wing woman with you and stop going to these places alone and start having fun.

Start Enjoying your life today.

You maybe after one night stands, but don't tell me you're not after QUALITY women as well. Go to Church or a temple of worship and congregrate with the people there after a service, head on over to a Bookstore in the weekend and make friends with the coffee shop baristas, volunteer at an animal shelter or food bank etc. These are great places to meet Quality Women. Take your time Grocery Shopping, yes grocery shopping. A great underrated place to meet women.

Judging from your post, you seem uninspired. You build inspiration by cultivating a sense of Spiritual vigor and Spiritual life. You can start by your morning routine, perhaps start your day by going to the gym or a morning jog, once you come back home - 10 minutes of Yoga stretching, 5 minutes of meditation and 10 minutes reading/praying the Scriptures. Take a Cold shower too and take Dance classes while you're at it. I know I'm going to.

I'd prefer to get advice from guys who are sleeping around with attractive women as opposed to those who are more philosophical or relationship-driven.

Between this and the question about the truck, it's like you don't even read my posts before replying...if this is going to be a pattern could you stop offering your "advice" please.

I think your best options are still Trolley and the college bars. I think you can do reasonably well with short term casual sex in both those Delaware spots. If you present yourself as a hot guy with a pleasant personality, you can get some short term sex from that.

I think Trolley is a waste of time. I've given it so many chances to change my mind and even on the nights where I've left with a woman they were not at the higher end of the spectrum when it comes to the attractiveness of the women I've been with. Philly and West Chester I think are still worth checking out if it's not just me driving 40 minutes solo while having to stay sober enough to drive back, and maybe Chesapeake Inn when it gets hot out.

Beyond that, it might be worth considering the college bars if I go late and don't have to worry about the lines. I still think I'll come across the age problem. Even if I present myself well I can only do so much to overcome that - kinda like women who disqualify based on star sign and crap like that.

Men in their 30s who are unattached (and often childless) often have a difficult time with getting their male friends to go out to bars with them. A lot of 30 something guys have male friends who are in LTRs/married and often these married guys have younger children at home. Some 30s/early 40s guys are able to get around this issue by making new male friends in a similar life stage to them, but that can be difficult to do. Some men might be fortunate and have a friend in their age range get divorced/breakup from a multiyear LTR and then they have a friend to accompany them to the bars.

Yeah this is becoming a problem...

A lot of my friends are in LTRs with women they'll probably end up marrying. I met some guys that seemed chill through my gym, but they're the ones always advocating for Trolley, and they feel "too old" for college girls now that they're graduated - even though they're only like 23 years old. I don't know many guys around my age who are comfortable going to these places where there's a younger crowd, save for a handful of "any hole's the goal" types.

Some spots might improve when it gets warmer and people start going out, but since I don't know how much longer that's going to be I'll need to figure out where I can meet some new women in the short-term.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think you can pull it off as long as you dress a little douchebag-ish-like the men from Long Island, USA instead of a baby’s daddy.

Nonetheless, I don't think this is a deal breaker. The bigger challenge is that women rely heavily on group consensus to gauge a man's quality quickly. Preselection (attractive women showing interest in you), social proof (being popular among cool people), fitting an attractive archetype, and confidence (showing you're comfortable and likely successful with women like her) all help bypass this filter — you may be on a different tier from the competition. But I guess you know the area and the clubs so you have that to your advantage; all it takes is befriending a younger guy…or starting as the dishwasher

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You’re only 30. Don’t worry about it.

 

[BPH]

…or starting as the dishwasher

10/10

Don’t worry about it.

Can you elaborate? Are you saying that I shouldn't be concerned about how I'm perceived at a college bar by being so much older?

 

[The Duke]

I tried the college bars in my early 30's a few times on weekends. Always ended up being a waste of time. The female groups were really closed off. I had a hard time penetrating that! Most werent very social with outsiders. They always struck me as not very comfortable even amongst their own.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

10/10



Can you elaborate? Are you saying that I shouldn't be concerned about how I'm perceived at a college bar by being so much older?

I’m older than you and have gone to college bars and it’s been fine. Full disclosure. I look a fair bit younger, but still older than you. And. I’m GL. So that helps.

 

[SW15]

I tried the college bars in my early 30's a few times on weekends. Always ended up being a waste of time. The female groups were really closed off. I had a hard time penetrating that! Most werent very social with outsiders. They always struck me as not very comfortable even amongst their own.

This was similar to my experience when I went to college bars around the same age in my life. It is fortunate that there aren't that many pure college bars where I live.

I think Trolley is a waste of time. I've given it so many chances to change my mind and even on the nights where I've left with a woman they were not at the higher end of the spectrum when it comes to the attractiveness of the women I've been with. Philly and West Chester I think are still worth checking out if it's not just me driving 40 minutes solo while having to stay sober enough to drive back, and maybe Chesapeake Inn when it gets hot out.

Isn't Trolley the only scene in Wilmington that isn't college bars?

Philadelphia is far enough away from Wilmington that you don't have good logistics there. I wouldn't want to go out in bars 35-40 miles from me.

it might be worth considering the college bars if I go late and don't have to worry about the lines. I still think I'll come across the age problem. Even if I present myself well I can only do so much to overcome that - kinda like women who disqualify based on star sign and crap like that.

Definitely avoid the lines. Maybe going early could also avoid lines there.

31 is a bit of stretch for the 21-23 year olds typically at college bars. I agree that you can only do so much to overcome it. I think it's worth doing compared to the Trolley option you have.

Yeah this is becoming a problem...

A lot of my friends are in LTRs with women they'll probably end up marrying. I met some guys that seemed chill through my gym, but they're the ones always advocating for Trolley, and they feel "too old" for college girls now that they're graduated - even though they're only like 23 years old. I don't know many guys around my age who are comfortable going to these places where there's a younger crowd, save for a handful of "any hole's the goal" types.

Some spots might improve when it gets warmer and people start going out, but since I don't know how much longer that's going to be I'll need to figure out where I can meet some new women in the short-term.

It is a common problem for unattached guys in the 30-35 range (and even beyond) to lack friends in a similar life stage.

It's fine for 23 year old guys to go college bars. Late 20s is when that starts to get more difficult if you aren't a graduate level student.

 

[BPH]

I’m older than you and have gone to college bars and it’s been fine. Full disclosure. I look a fair bit younger, but still older than you. And. I’m GL. So that helps.

Do you go solo? I wouldn't really have company anymore, save for maybe 1 or 2 bartenders who still works there from when I used to go.

Isn't Trolley the only scene in Wilmington that isn't college bars?

Philadelphia is far enough away from Wilmington that you don't have good logistics there. I wouldn't want to go out in bars 35-40 miles from me.

A lot of people love Trolley - I hate it. It's not far, but it's far enough to be inconvenient for what it is. It's a strip of 3 "popular" bars with 1 main one which I frequent. On a typical night there's maybe 1 or 2 attractive girls in the whole place, at least in my opinion, and they're often there with their boyfriends. It's like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. This last weekend there was some potential; I got there around 11 and saw some decent-looking girls while making my way to my friends, but about 20 minutes later they were all long gone.

Philadelphia and West Chester are logistical nightmares and I don't make those trips unless I have a friend group or a place to stay overnight. West Chester I've had a few lays but they've all involved me inviting myself over. Philadelphia so far I haven't slept with a woman I met from a night out, but I also haven't been up there much.

Definitely avoid the lines. Maybe going early could also avoid lines there.

31 is a bit of stretch for the 21-23 year olds typically at college bars. I agree that you can only do so much to overcome it. I think it's worth doing compared to the Trolley option you have.

I would go later rather than earlier. I don't want to spend my whole night in a bar or in a line, so I'd go around 11ish when lines have mostly died down. I've found that women who are there closer to closing time are often the ones who are actually single and open to meeting new guys.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Do you go solo? I wouldn't really have company anymore, save for maybe 1 or 2 bartenders who still works there from when I used to go.

I tend to go solo.

 

[Plinco]

I'm going to give this a shot pretty soon and I'll report on it. It will be on my journal thread.

 

[BPH]

I'm going to give this a shot pretty soon and I'll report on it. It will be on my journal thread.

If my friends aren't trying to plan something this weekend there's a good chance I will as well. Likely to report here if that ends up being the case.

 

[SW15]

A lot of people love Trolley - I hate it. It's not far, but it's far enough to be inconvenient for what it is. It's a strip of 3 "popular" bars with 1 main one which I frequent. On a typical night there's maybe 1 or 2 attractive girls in the whole place, at least in my opinion, and they're often there with their boyfriends. It's like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. This last weekend there was some potential; I got there around 11 and saw some decent-looking girls while making my way to my friends, but about 20 minutes later they were all long gone.

Doesn't sound pleasant.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Talk about a timely thread because I actually tried this last year with my wing (who was unreliable) and we did it for a few months. Here are some of my findings as a guy in your similar situation in terms of age.

Most girls really don't care, only the miserable ones do.

The only time my wing and I got bad comments is when we talked to miserable and otherwise busted up girls we should not have been talking to. These two hard 6s who we were talking to were rude to us and then brought up our age. The truth is, most girls do not care and a lot of them are pretty chill about it unless you look grossly out of place. I am sure if you were an actual grandpa or looked visibly middle aged, it would matter.

Having a good wing is paramount, doing it solo is almost impossible, and bad wings will destroy you.

The thing is, most college guys there are there for the same purpose so they are not there to talk to you. This means you cannot build social momentum like you would at a more adult venue. College groups are cliquey as others mentioned so it becomes tough. Your best bet is to grab a good wingman who is either social and has good energy or tall and handsome.

I had a short wing who used to be a former MGTOW and this dude got destroyed in that environment. He was a good guy but just not made for that environment. It dragged me down and drove us apart.

You need to mimic that college energy.

Bring the fun.

These environments are not for the mysterious quiet types. You need to bring the party and be a bit relaxed. This is why I have rarely seen Game guys do well in them. Be fun and bring the fun. It is the language of the game.

Conclusion.

I do want to give it another go but my life has been all over the place. However, I am finding that my experiences with college girls are kinda decent and better than with older women as a guy in his 30s.

It is just that overall, there are changes you need to make. I think as we get older as men, we get crankier and that drives away the youth looking for fun and a great time. I think the more good energy and fun you bring, the better off you would be.

 

[BPH]

Talk about a timely thread because I actually tried this last year with my wing (who was unreliable) and we did it for a few months. Here are some of my findings as a guy in your similar situation in terms of age.

Most girls really don't care, only the miserable ones do.

The only time my wing and I got bad comments is when we talked to miserable and otherwise busted up girls we should not have been talking to. These two hard 6s who we were talking to were rude to us and then brought up our age. The truth is, most girls do not care and a lot of them are pretty chill about it unless you look grossly out of place. I am sure if you were an actual grandpa or looked visibly middle aged, it would matter.

Having a good wing is paramount, doing it solo is almost impossible, and bad wings will destroy you.

The thing is, most college guys there are there for the same purpose so they are not there to talk to you. This means you cannot build social momentum like you would at a more adult venue. College groups are cliquey as others mentioned so it becomes tough. Your best bet is to grab a good wingman who is either social and has good energy or tall and handsome.

I had a short wing who used to be a former MGTOW and this dude got destroyed in that environment. He was a good guy but just not made for that environment. It dragged me down and drove us apart.

You need to mimic that college energy.

Bring the fun.

These environments are not for the mysterious quiet types. You need to bring the party and be a bit relaxed. This is why I have rarely seen Game guys do well in them. Be fun and bring the fun. It is the language of the game.

Conclusion.

I do want to give it another go but my life has been all over the place. However, I am finding that my experiences with college girls are kinda decent and better than with older women as a guy in his 30s.

It is just that overall, there are changes you need to make. I think as we get older as men, we get crankier and that drives away the youth looking for fun and a great time. I think the more good energy and fun you bring, the better off you would be.

I recall us butting heads before your departure, so I appreciate your willingness to offer me your advice upon your return - looks like I'm the first one as well.

 

[SW15]

Having a good wing is paramount, doing it solo is almost impossible, and bad wings will destroy you.

A good wing is important at both the college oriented nightlife venues and nightlife venues that tend to attract more people in the working phase of their lives.

Non-bar approaching is where you don't need a wing. However, in non-bar approaching, it can be difficult to find women seeking new penis. Going to bars is an indicator that a woman is seeking new penis and that's what keeps nightlife venues afloat.

Later Millennials and Gen Z have somewhat soured on nightlife venues.

A lot of nightlife approaching has actually moved to swipe apps and Instagram DMs.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I recall us butting heads before your departure, so I appreciate your willingness to offer me your advice upon your return - looks like I'm the first one as well.

No worries man, we are all here to help each other get better. TBH, I actually do want to game in college towns for a bit in my 30s to see how it would be like.

One thing I have seen dudes do is do the whole street interview or live streaming stuff. College girls LOVE attention and I know these guys used to do Street Interviews at the place I gamed at and girls seemed receptive to that.