Cold approach is becoming impossible

[SW15]

Outcome: He asked for my number, told me he would like to buy me dinner, I told him thanks I'm married and that was that.

How did he not see the wedding ring? Most men don't approach married women because it is a waste of time. A very small percentage of men might want to see if the married women is open to some side penis.

I was walking back to the office from lunchbreak and this random dude approached me on the street and was trying to talk to me. He wasn't rude at all nor did I feel threatened in any way. It was broad daylight with lots of people around.

I was in a decent mood so I chatted with him a bit while we walked, even though I would have preferred he go away but it was only a few more minutes till I arrived at my office.

Once back, I told my female friend/co-worker about it and SHE went freakin crazy, telling me I should have called the police!!!

I mean she was yelling at me for not calling the police right then and there even tho the guy did nothing except attempt to have a pleasant conversation with me.

This is a conversation around symptoms of a disease and not the disease itself.

The disease itself itself is feminism.

Feminism has created dissent between the sexes since at least the 1970s. You now have 3 full generations of women that have been alive since feminism became fully mainstream by 1980. Those generations would be Gen X (1965-1980s births), Millennials (1981-1996), and the now entering adulthood Gen Z (1997-2012 births). In 2022, that represents adults ages 18-57.

Women from Gen X onwards don't believe that they need men. When they might not need an individual man for provisioning in a romantic relationship, they need the collective of men. Men maintain the electric grid, male computer scientists/engineers created the iPhone, Instagram, and OnlyFans and males are the simps on Instagram and OnlyFans. Males are sanitation workers, warehouse/supply chain workers, police officers, firefighters, auto mechanics, plumbers, etc.

When a woman doesn't have the beta bucks side of hypergamy via an extended relationship committment, there are psychological consequences. She often obtains pets and multiple pets to substitute for men and small children. The woman who can't retain a man long term experiences involuntary solitude (a phrase coined by Chateau Heartiste in the Manosphere 10+ years ago). Insols are the female incels. While the typical woman experiencing involuntary solitude gets laid as much as she desire because she has sex options, she doesn't get the commitment she ultimately desires. She has odd backlashes to that, including pets, perceiving too many men as creepy, etc.

Amongst men, MGTOW and incels are the opposite of the female feminists. MGTOWs and incels have some psychological issues as well. A man might not need a woman for an extended relationship, but he does need her body for sex. His need is more pressing based on the fundamental psychological ideas of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The incel is lacking sex (basest need) whereas the female insol is lacking belonging (a higher level need). It is an easy argument that the incel is in a worse position than the female insol because at least the insol can get sex.

Look at tomi lahren's rant againt men calling them all trash and she's supposed to be a right wing trad-con on fox news. They say they are fighting for equality. I'd give anything for equality.

A lot of so-called conservative women have lives that resemble liberal women. Tomi Lahren is a decent example. She has been a penis carousel rider for 10+ years. She's bounced around from multiple cities and had multiple relationships. Only 13 months after posting her "Men are Trash" rant, a ex-pro baseball player put a ring on her finger.

At Fox News, Ainsley Earhardt claims to be a conservative Christian but is reportedly careerist, is twice divorced, is a single mom, and her 2nd husband was a substantially younger ex-college football quarterback. That sounds like a liberal feminist/careerist to me.

 

[pipeman84]

I agree, feminism has gone too far and now they've got the transgender lunatics to keep them busy.
But as a man, on a forum about men's self improvement in the dating/relationship areas, I can't help wondering, what's with those men that compliment/ask out work colleagues and end up being called into HR or worse, fired. Can't they spot troublemakers in the first place? Or immediately stop after the first compliment didn't pan out the way intended? If they like playing with fire, they why complain when getting burned?

 

[pipeman84]

Women won't typically tell a man to stop giving her attention, she will eat up the attention but then complain about it afterwards to HR. Not all women but most.

So a man has no clue his compliments and attention annoy her.

Hmm, that's an interesting point. But it takes a mean spirited woman to do such a thing and I find it hard to believe a reasonably aware guy can't read it on her face that she's not a good person and/or didn't hear stuff about her on the grapevine.
Secondly, this need of some guys to compliment/give attention to women who have done nothing to warrant it tells me they have some work to do on themselves. It's totally unnatural and the faster they learn it (it should've happened before reaching the age of joining the workforce) the better off they'll be.

I really feel bad for men sometimes. I work in a small office now and one of my bosses commented on my hair one day (gave a compliment) then called me about an hour later asking if his comment made me uncomfortable!

I can't imagine doing something like that. I mean, how beta can your boss go? He knows you're a married woman, you have your husband to give you compliments. He should mind his own business and if he doesn't have a girlfriend/wife, he should compliment available women who give IOIs after he's made certain they deserve it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Some companies have a "no fraternization" policy - no dating co-workers. I have worked for a couple.
If they do, one has to leave or risk getting fired.

I used to work in the legal field as a paralegal and came across lots of frivolous lawsuits filed by women claiming sexual harassment because a male co-worker repeatedly asked her out and/or complimented her. Or otherwise made unwelcome advances.

Some cases were pretty egregious so the lawsuit was warranted but many were ridiculous.
A co-worker compliments her = harassment
Asked her out on a date = harassment.
Attempts to talk to her = harassment.

The male co-worker is called into HR and given a warning. If it continues, he risks getting fired.

I've seen it!

SMH

But the way you phrased it as, was that it’s against Labor Law. Which it is not. If it’s against corporate policy they’ll likely move one of you to a different department before firing you. A large company expects this to happen and a small one can’t afford the lawsuit.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Sexual harassment is against labor laws and it's subjective.

One woman may feel sexually harassed while another woman given the same attention would not.

In cases where a woman feels sexually harassed, the company is obligated by law to conduct an internal investigation.

I used to work in employment law, I know this for a fact.

You were a paralegal, if memory serves. That’s great and it’s like saying I kept the book for the Brooklyn nets so I too can ball like Kevin Durant. Harassment is a bar that needs to be achieved like anything else, here try prosecute me on this one, “I have nothing to say, I’ve done nothing wrong”… your move

 

[pipeman84]

Oh please. I had just gotten it trimmed, and he said "cool cut"!

He is also married by the way, it wasn't a "come on" or even a flirt.

Nor was it "beta" but your accusing him of such illustrates the point perfectly.

If all was that innocent, why did he feel the need to:

then called me about an hour later asking if his comment made me uncomfortable!

First he makes a comment he probably shouldn't have made then he lacks the ability to read your body language after you received it and asks you an hour later if it made you uncomfortable. Yeah, he is beta.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Sexual harassment is against federal labor law (civil) and it's subjective.

One woman may feel sexually harassed while another woman given the same attention would not.

It doesn't matter how large or small the company is, if a woman feels sexually harassed and complains, the company is obligated by law to conduct an internal investigation.

I used to work in employment law, I know this for a fact.

This is in the U.S, federal law.

Edit: A person can file a civil lawsuit for whatever they want, no matter how frivolous. Many do hoping the company will settle.

Or sometimes the judge will toss out.

In any event, it's a huge PITA for the guy being accused, that's all I'm saying..

Regarding your edit, great, let the girl sue my firm, and not only do I walk out of there squeaky clean the company is also now paying for my defense. Keep up the good work Marcia Clark

 

[Divorced w 3]

Are you okay mate? Lol

Why so angry and defensive?

Yeah it sucks for the guy, I hear ya on that.

Best to be aware of it, that's all, no need to take so personally.

Because you’re feeding bad information to the thread, your story constantly changes and guys here don’t need this blue pill nonsense. I know you’re wrong, it’s a “statement of fact”.

 

[Divorced w 3]

What's the bad information? The blue pill nonsense?

Again, I used to work in the legal field, specializing in employment/labor law.

I know these laws like the back of my hand; there is nothing blue pill about it. They're certainly not "nonsense."

And believe it or not, I'm on your side here. These laws are often unfair to men and on the side of the woman.

But if you want to disregard and call it blue pill, that's fine, no skin.off my nose.

You are a former paralegal. You formerly used to type, file and do what actual lawyers needed you to do. Osmosis is not a law degree.

You said US Labor Law does not permit intra company dating and relationships. That is patently false.

I'm not defensive, I’m irritated. You have never sat on the other side of an accusatory conversation from HR, nor have you ever personally practiced law - you’re putting yourself out as something in which you’re not. Do everyone hear a favor and speak from experience, on whatever topic that may actually be. This one it is not.

 

[jimwho]

I hear ya re feminism. And yeah my co-worker is very much a feminist, a big one.

Then why did you tell her a MAN was talking to you Dumb Dumb!

 

[Don of the north]

Oh please. I had just gotten it trimmed, and he said "cool cut"!

He is also married by the way, it wasn't a "come on" or even a flirt.

Nor was it "beta" but your accusing him of such illustrates the point perfectly.

That it's a sad day when a man can't give a woman a simple compliment without her feeling harassed (which I didn't but many do) or him being criticized and called "beta" or feeling uncomfortable for making the comment, regardless of her (or his) status.

SMH seriously.

Great post. We've obviously got some male feminists on the forum. Can't they find somewhere else to go instead of invading our space? It's a don juan forum for petes sake.

Some of them are so scared to approach and possibly get rejected that they have to "justify their not approaching" by saying it's creepy or beta. Ridiculous. Now they're blaming men for getting called into HR. Go figure.

 

[corrector]

@catsmeow2

What are you doing here? This forum is for MEN. Don't you have anything better to do?
I just don't understand, seriously.

She gets a pass on this thread as she is making sense with me. She normally does not get likes from me but has got one in most of the posts here.

 

[Divorced w 3]

@catsmeow2

What are you doing here? This forum is for MEN. Don't you have anything better to do?
I just don't understand, seriously.

look above at her last post and see if you find it…

 

[Don of the north]

@catsmeow2

What are you doing here? This forum is for MEN. Don't you have anything better to do?
I just don't understand, seriously.

I welcome her here. I've only seen a few of her posts, but so far they've pretty good. A woman who has a man's back in 2022 where we are second class citizens are rare. She's not the one going around shaming men for cold approaching call them creepy. Those are the people that shouldn't be here.

 

[corrector]

Great post. We've obviously got some male feminists on the forum. Can't they find somewhere else to go instead of invading our space? It's a don juan forum for petes sake.

Some of them are so scared to approach and possibly get rejected that they have to "justify their not approaching" by saying it's creepy or beta. Ridiculous. Now they're blaming men for getting called into HR. Go figure.

Male feminists dont get it.

 

[pipeman84]

Great post. We've obviously got some male feminists on the forum. Can't they find somewhere else to go instead of invading our space? It's a don juan forum for petes sake.

Some of them are so scared to approach and possibly get rejected that they have to "justify their not approaching" by saying it's creepy or beta. Ridiculous. Now they're blaming men for getting called into HR. Go figure.

Man, it's because of guys like you that sexual harassment laws have been enacted and HR departments are busy with complaints from women against men. You simply can't get it trough your head that most women don't like cold approaching nor unwanted and persistent attention from males at work.

What's 'so suave' about harassing women out on the street or at the mall or worse, in their work place?

 

[Don of the north]

Man, it's because of guys like you that sexual harassment laws have been enacted and HR departments are busy with complaints from women against men. You simply can't get it trough your head that most women don't like cold approaching nor unwanted and persistent attention from males at work.

What's 'so suave' about harassing women out on the street or at the mall or worse, in their work place?

It's not harassment until she says she's not interested or she feels uncomfortable. Repeated, unwanted sexual advances. That's the way harassment has always been defined until this recent lunacy. Going to hr because a guy asked you out for coffee is a RAT snitch move. I'd say the the same thing to any guy who turned in one of him female workers into HR because she gave him a compliment. RAT. #equality.

This will be my last reply to you on anything. If I wanted to argue with male feminists, I'd go on reddit or twitter.

 

[DonJuanjr]

On the street? Yeah, most women want to be left alone, agree with you about that.

Would most women be open to being approached from a guy they considered a dreamboat?

 

[Don of the north]

On the street? Yeah, most women want to be left alone, agree with you about that.

I sometimes do too but mostly if/when a man says hi, I'll smile and say hi back. I'm definitely an anomaly in that regard tho.

Totally disagree. A hot guy can go out and get a TON of numbers from women on the street. That would never happen if what you said were true. They simply don't want someone who they deem unattractive approaching. They've simply be trained that way with metoo. This is purely entitled princess nonsense. Also, they are not FORCED to interact with anyone they don't want to. A simple no thanks is too much work? Give me a break. In a FREE country you can approach anyone you want and ask them for coffee. It's literally protected free speech if it's only done once.

Would most women be open to being approached from a guy they considered a dreamboat?

Of course most would, and they'd love the attention even if they weren't single.

 

[pipeman84]

Saying "hi"? Or comment "cool haircut"?

I've known women who DO consider that harassment and will call cops (or threaten to) or report it to HR. Which is a bit extreme don't you think?

Indeed, it's extreme but I'll make 2 comments: if that is the 3rd unasked for 'hi' on that day and comes from a guy with an aggressive look/body language and she's having a bad day, I can't blame her. I will brush aside one nuisance call, but the third one in a day annoys me.
2. some guys like OP need a telling-to from a cop or HR otherwise they simply don't get it. They still don't get it as OP makes it obvious, but at least they'll probably refrain from that behavior because they're aware of the negative consequences.