Chronically Late Chick

[HedoRick]

And no, i'm not talking about that kind of late...

Been dating this chick for awhile. She's involved with her church, help the homeless and those with disabilities, goes on missions trips, hot as hell, doesn't drink, doesn't party. Overall, as far as American chicks go, a decent catch.

One issue with her is that she is always late for our dates. I've met her parents, and they've told me that she's always late for work and family functions as well. Being late is a lifestyle for this chick.

The general consensus from some of my friends is to ditch her because of this. However, she's late for everything in her life, so I don't take it as a personal insult to my manhood. How would you guys handle the situation?

As of right now, I just say meet and 8:30 but just show up late myself. Strategy seems to be working somewhat, but don't know if sustainable in the long run. Any help would be appreciated.. thanks.

 

[LongLostFriend]

Whether or not it's a personal insult to your manhood, is it something you want to put up with?

 

[mv.89]

^^^^^^what he said

 

[BeDJ]

Just schedule everything 30 minutes before you show up. If you are the one who is late, she will take the hint after a while.

 

[Cremasta]

The general consensus from some of my friends is to ditch her because of this. However, she's late for everything in her life, so I don't take it as a personal insult to my manhood. How would you guys handle the situation?
.

First up, these friends are either immature or dumb, you just listed a bunch of pretty decent green flags and they focus on this little red one?!? This is NOT a dealbreaker. You're right, this isn't personal.

My wife and her entire family are late to everything and for a while I got angry about it, but there's a simple workaround. Whatever time you've booked something for, you tell her it's half an hour earlier (or an hour, whatever you need).

Cheers

 

[TheCWord]

First up, these friends are either immature or dumb, you just listed a bunch of pretty decent green flags and they focus on this little red one?!? This is NOT a dealbreaker. You're right, this isn't personal.

My wife and her entire family are late to everything and for a while I got angry about it, but there's a simple workaround. Whatever time you've booked something for, you tell her it's half an hour earlier (or an hour, whatever you need).

Cheers

Yeah, Hedo, listen to what Cremasta is saying. You listed off some fantastic qualities about this girl and pointed out one flaw - and you're thinking about ending it because of this flaw?

What do you want her to be? Perfect? Doesn't exist. If the only major problem with her is that she's chronically late, slap a ring on that jesus lover and never come back to this site again

 

[LMFAO]

Turn up late to the next date and see what she makes of it.

 

[ScottMustaine]

Well that seems to be a catch. Just be late sometimes, take it easy bro.

Would you rather like a wh0re who is a BPD, cheats, lies etc or a decent girl who is late because of either preparing herself or because of work ?

Come on man. If she is nice to you etc. Who cares. Use that time to 'get yourself' ready for a date. Have fun bro.

 

[DragonBlood]

I know where your coming from HedoRick I have a friend who is always 1 - 2 hours late for EVERYTHING.

My advice is just to carry on with your life and organise events that are fun with or without your girl. Such as watching a movie at home while you wait for her to show up. Of course if you lose interest in this cat and mouse BS just drop her. Hey, maybe you could squeeze a plate in while your waiting for her to show?

 

[VladPatton]

Easy...make plans for 8:00, show up at 10:00. When confronted: "well whadya know!...your lateness must be contagious!"

 

[Jay Dee]

Easy...make plans for 8:00, show up at 10:00. When confronted: "well whadya know!...your lateness must be contagious!"

Prob is she may see this as passive-aggressive, and us boys end up in a downward spiral from there on. Fine if it works but there's the danger of it backfiring.

...Hey, maybe you could squeeze a plate in while your waiting for her to show?

Now this I like... if she saw you always talking to a bird when she turns up late, even just the waitress, she'll value you more and turn up more promptly to prevent the perceived competition, provided she is truly interested.

 

[Zerro]

This sort of tardiness runs in my family quite a bit and many of those who are on time have just stopped bothering to accommodate these people. If we say that the meal for a dinner party will be served at 5, don't come at 7 and expect us to have set aside food for you. Eventually either they start making an effort to be on time or they just stop coming at all.

It's the same thing for those people who never show up to a party before midnight even if you started it at 9. They have no right to complain if they arrive and most of the snacks and booze are gone. Especially if it's BYOB and they didn't bring anything.

 

[Down Low]

Tardiness is an indicator of low interest. Some people are always late to everything. They are aware of it. They do not change their behavior to ensure promptness. They want you to know that they do not value your company -- or that they enjoy d1cking with you, same difference.

When you fail to hold a woman to any standard, her behavior will get worse and her interest will get lower until she has defacto abandoned the relationship, and you will someday realize it and know the relationship ended sometime ago. If you tolerate having your good nature abused in this way, you deserve the miserable decline that awaits.

 

[Jitterbug]

It depends on her attitude with being late.

If it's simply her tardiness that she doesn't quite know how to manage, and she doesn't have a poor attitude when she shows up, that's ok. You'd rather have that flaw than other things!

However, some girls like her - I know the Christian save-the-world goody-goody type well - think they're holy or too good / important to be on time or respectful of other people's time. It's like, hey she just worked at a homeless shelter today, she's a bit tired and shows up late, stop complaining, what have you done for the world lately??? That sort of attitude is a massive red flag which will eventually show up in much worse situations than being late for a date.

 

[plate's_empty]

9 out of 10 is great dude. If you pass on this girl, can you introduce her to me. I wouldn't listen to some of the black and white thinking on this issue. It's a fault, even confirmed by her family. She cant plan well. If that's her only fault I would take that all day.

 

[HedoRick]

Thanks for all the input guys.

Been hanging out with this chick a lot more lately. This is actually a minor issue that my "bros" wanted to turn into a mountain. Her family even makes fun of her tardiness, but she's been that way her whole life, apparently. It's not that she thinks she's entitled to be late for anything. It's just the way she is.

Now, if this chick was only showing up late for a date with me, and making it to her other obligations on time, that would be a different story.

It will definitely take me some time to get used to dating someone who isn't the local okcupid/pof, or clubrat cvmdumpsters. It certainly doesn't hurt that she is hot as hell, and takes her fitness seriously. I think i'll hold on to this one for awhile.

And yes she's an Italian American that actually knows how to cook. Seems to be a rare breed these days. A non crazy American chick with morals that isn't a drunken ho? Please sign me up. I'll past back up here if/when I become truly whipped.

Yer pal,

Hedo Rick

 

[HedoRick]

Any tips, or kicks in the crotch?

This chick just started her summer internship at the drug and alcohol rehab center, and also works 20 hours a week at a restauraunt.

I called her last night, and now she can't commit to hang out most of the week due to her "schedule". She may or may not have to work on Friday. The way things are, I only get to see her once a week. She said to call her later in the week to work out a schedule. This uncertainty, I just don't dig.


I've actually gone back to spinning plates. I take salsa lessons and have my salsa events on Friday. Too many options, and with the amount of girls out there, I find myself tempted to be hanging out 4 different girls next week.

I don't know if this chick is playing me for the fool or not. Hope i'm doing the right thing by going back to spinning plates.

At the end of the day, spinning plates is the only thing that makes me feel comfortable.

Btw, how do you guys deal with these "busy" chicks? The way I see it, she doesn't have much time for me, so use that time to be meeting other chicks.... Call me an azzhole.:rockon:

 

[Jitterbug]

She's communicating to you that you are not her priority. Her schedule isn't that busy, she can certainly make time to see you more, but she does not, because she doesn't truly want to.

Now it's up to you to make her your priority, or option.

 

[HedoRick]

Any ideas how to make this happen? I'm already back to spinning plates, but would like to make it work this chick. If not, that's the way it goes. Can't win em' all. Again, advice would be appreciated in this situation.

She's communicating to you that you are not her priority. Her schedule isn't that busy, she can certainly make time to see you more, but she does not, because she doesn't truly want to.

Now it's up to you to make her your priority, or option.

 

[Jitterbug]

You can't work on someone to make you her priority. Desire is not a negotiable thing nor a product of direct effort & hard work.

Back off a bit, spin plates, have your own life, treat her like an option, make yourself scarce and see if she misses you at all. She has not promised you anything yet, you haven't had the DTR talk, so don't act like you already committed yourself to her. Have you had any action at all with her btw?