i said i would never do it but i did. and it was harder to say no then i had thought it would be. i have went through other posts but have not found much on the matter. i have been a regular reader but never a poster. but i feel really horrible about what i did and all i could think about after was my girlfriend. the girl i was with had swore that nothing would ever get said but i think that down the road girls say just about anything to get revenge. she said it was stay between us. i have done it but with the way i feel now, i dont think i will ever do it again. this will be the one and only time but all i can think about is my girlfriend and how i have done something like this. i cannot tell her, but i feel now i will carry a terrible secret that i have not been completely true and faithful. it is eating me up a little now i feel it will get worse. how can i come to terms with this? i feel really bad and i would take it back now in a second. it has been less than 24 hours and i cannot get it out of my head. both girls indirectly know each other but have never spoken to one another.
cheating
- Thread starter R2R
- Start date
Kwah
Master Don Juan
How long have you been with her? Also, you want to be the one to tell her, trust me on this one. The last thing you want is to keep it secret and then have her walk up to you one day knowing everything.
You ****ed up royal, its your job to take it like a man and deal with the fallout. If you care about this bird then you better talk to her about it.
You ****ed up royal, its your job to take it like a man and deal with the fallout. If you care about this bird then you better talk to her about it.
InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
Bro.. the guilt, will go away... it happends to the best so relax... try not to dwell on it... just get yourself together.... what she won't know, won't hurt her ok. It's done.. move on.
Let me also add that, sometimes being honest, does not pay... this is one of those times. It's not a matter of doing the right thing here, because if you did the 'right' thing, you would have never done it in the first place... but like I said, it happends to us all. It will go away in time, and chances are, you'll grow a whole knew appriciation for the one you are with now.... just drop it, and move on. It will save yourself a whole lot of BS.
Let me also add that, sometimes being honest, does not pay... this is one of those times. It's not a matter of doing the right thing here, because if you did the 'right' thing, you would have never done it in the first place... but like I said, it happends to us all. It will go away in time, and chances are, you'll grow a whole knew appriciation for the one you are with now.... just drop it, and move on. It will save yourself a whole lot of BS.
InLaw is right.
Why confess? You'll just hurt her. If she hears it from someone else, you can always deny it.
Life's about learning. You're bound to make a few mistakes. If you tell her, chances are she'll leave you. Then how will you feel?
Why confess? You'll just hurt her. If she hears it from someone else, you can always deny it.
Life's about learning. You're bound to make a few mistakes. If you tell her, chances are she'll leave you. Then how will you feel?
trajhenkhet
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2003
- Messages
- 337
- Reaction score
- 0
ask yourself what was missing if you had to look elsewhere.
There is always going to be a risk she'll find out. Thats freaky. But I will tell you from experience that telling her isn't going to do a damn thing. You feel bad and want to get it off your chest? Well you hurt her in doing so. Relationship over. You f*cked up man. You should be the one feeling pain. And from the sounds of it you do. Good.
You'll carry it around for a long time and then it will slowly fade and you'll be reminded of it every now and then.
I've cheated many times and everytime I've regretted it. I know exactly how you feel. Its like everytime I've done it I feel like I've left a little bit of my soul behind.
Don't tell her. It's selfish. Just feel bad and don't do it again.
2N Turbo
Senior Don Juan
Yes....Thats awesome.
Don't tell her, because even if she is cool with it after while. You will never hear the end of it. She will always have that to hang over your head.
This happend to my friend, but he got busted. Because his girl got his phone while he was asleep and called up bout 15 girls that he mess or messed with, in which most sold him out. She stayed with him, but he never hears the end of it.
Anyway he is back to his old ways and so will you.
Does a tree make a noise in the forrest if no one is around? LOL
Don't tell her, because even if she is cool with it after while. You will never hear the end of it. She will always have that to hang over your head.
This happend to my friend, but he got busted. Because his girl got his phone while he was asleep and called up bout 15 girls that he mess or messed with, in which most sold him out. She stayed with him, but he never hears the end of it.
Anyway he is back to his old ways and so will you.
Does a tree make a noise in the forrest if no one is around? LOL
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2003
- Messages
- 546
- Reaction score
- 3
Well, if my girlfriend cheated on me, I would want her to tell me, and I would do the same.
It'll be like lying to her every day you see her.
It'll be like lying to her every day you see her.
thanks guys. all of this is helping. with a day past now, i feel
1-this has made my feelings towards my gf stronger, because i feel bad, i know that my feelings toward her are sincere and not blinded by something else.
2-there is no point in saying anything. i mean if she finds out, it would be over. so why would i want that to happen now? if she finds out later, again, i could deny it, and also it would have allowed me to spend more time with her.
3-i have forgotten about it as the day went on. it is going to be a bad thing to remember and who wants to remember the bad things in life?
4-after it happened and i got home, i had to call my gf just to hear her voice. i just needed to hear her.
5-i dont feel as bad, although i still do, because i know i will not do it again
before i did it i had the choice to say no. never being in a situation like that, i never realized just how hard it is to say no to something. god definitly left us with enough blood to only work the brain or that. my relationship with my gf is still fairly new so we have not gotten into sex yet and this was an opportunity to release some off the build up. that made it hard...no sex for two months and then it is right in front of you.
the experience was just sex, it was with an ex, but there was no lost feelings that came back and i felt that although i was there, i was not. i did not feel any kind of emotional tie or 'love' and that was awkward. it was just sex. with no feeling. aside from getting off, it did nothing. i dont want to do it again nor do i miss it. after all this when i see my gf all i want to do is hold her in my arms for a long time.
1-this has made my feelings towards my gf stronger, because i feel bad, i know that my feelings toward her are sincere and not blinded by something else.
2-there is no point in saying anything. i mean if she finds out, it would be over. so why would i want that to happen now? if she finds out later, again, i could deny it, and also it would have allowed me to spend more time with her.
3-i have forgotten about it as the day went on. it is going to be a bad thing to remember and who wants to remember the bad things in life?
4-after it happened and i got home, i had to call my gf just to hear her voice. i just needed to hear her.
5-i dont feel as bad, although i still do, because i know i will not do it again
before i did it i had the choice to say no. never being in a situation like that, i never realized just how hard it is to say no to something. god definitly left us with enough blood to only work the brain or that. my relationship with my gf is still fairly new so we have not gotten into sex yet and this was an opportunity to release some off the build up. that made it hard...no sex for two months and then it is right in front of you.
the experience was just sex, it was with an ex, but there was no lost feelings that came back and i felt that although i was there, i was not. i did not feel any kind of emotional tie or 'love' and that was awkward. it was just sex. with no feeling. aside from getting off, it did nothing. i dont want to do it again nor do i miss it. after all this when i see my gf all i want to do is hold her in my arms for a long time.
You've only been seeing her for two months! Get some perspective - two months is a VERY SHORT TIME, you still hardly know each other and you're not even having sex yet.
Until you've been with her and her alone for a good four or five months, with sex, she is not your girlfriend. Unless you're 13.
bp1974
Until you've been with her and her alone for a good four or five months, with sex, she is not your girlfriend. Unless you're 13.
bp1974
isotope
Senior Don Juan
well i agree with the following logic:
-it is possible to **** up royally and make a mistake, since you are so young. once. and by once i mean once in your life, not once with cheating once on each girlfriend.
-ideally, you would tell her and she forgive you and you LTR survive.
-but, it is possible that she might not accept it and break up with you.
-and if you really love her and dont want to lose her, that would be bad.
-so although honesty is nice, you now have to choose between honesty and keeping her
-and if you NEVER cheat on her again, and be the good BF she deserves, i suppose living with a lie is better than destroying what you have.
but on the other hand, its only been 2 months, so she might forgive you since you 2 niever had sex. and also, i do understand the guy who said, "you owe her the truth if you love her. if she dumps you, that is her right, you should suffer." Because i would DEFINITELY want to know the truth if my GF cheated.
-it is possible to **** up royally and make a mistake, since you are so young. once. and by once i mean once in your life, not once with cheating once on each girlfriend.
-ideally, you would tell her and she forgive you and you LTR survive.
-but, it is possible that she might not accept it and break up with you.
-and if you really love her and dont want to lose her, that would be bad.
-so although honesty is nice, you now have to choose between honesty and keeping her
-and if you NEVER cheat on her again, and be the good BF she deserves, i suppose living with a lie is better than destroying what you have.
but on the other hand, its only been 2 months, so she might forgive you since you 2 niever had sex. and also, i do understand the guy who said, "you owe her the truth if you love her. if she dumps you, that is her right, you should suffer." Because i would DEFINITELY want to know the truth if my GF cheated.
isotope
Senior Don Juan
do you really think it would hurt her? has tha thappened to you?
and by this logic, would you advocate breaking up with her, and not telling her the real reason? FOr example. the motivation would be that, you need to punish yourself. And you know tha tshe will break up with you if she knew you cheated.
So you honor her wish by breaking up with her, but spare her feelings by dumping her without admiting you cheated.
but that would hurt her too. so assuming you wnated to respect her wishes and end the realtionship, which takes precedence? sparing her feelings of you dumping her (for a made up reason), or sparing ehr feelings for getting cheated on
princelydeeds
Master Don Juan
AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH, Sum of the sensitive guys on these boards make me sick. Don't tell! Never say anything, what she doesnt know wont hurt her. Keep it to yourself at all cost. If she finds out deny it till your last breath. It will always be an issue and sooner or later she will start throwing it in your face every chance she gets.
DOn't feel guilty you gut sum pu$$y so what you did what you wanted to do accept it. Get over yourself. Now go get sum more, be happy you got what you wanted.
I don't have a girlfriend because I know I could never be faithful. I tell women that fact up front and now that I'm single, I've got 5 that would luv to be my woman. I don't advocate lying to someone so thats why I personally choose to be single.
You did what you wanted, so just move on. You sound pretty young, why have a girlfriend? Keep bangin her and all teh other hotties you meet. Life is short. Two months is nothing trust me, you barely know the chick. There is absolutley no need for guilt
DOn't feel guilty you gut sum pu$$y so what you did what you wanted to do accept it. Get over yourself. Now go get sum more, be happy you got what you wanted.
I don't have a girlfriend because I know I could never be faithful. I tell women that fact up front and now that I'm single, I've got 5 that would luv to be my woman. I don't advocate lying to someone so thats why I personally choose to be single.
You did what you wanted, so just move on. You sound pretty young, why have a girlfriend? Keep bangin her and all teh other hotties you meet. Life is short. Two months is nothing trust me, you barely know the chick. There is absolutley no need for guilt
drixsa
Master Don Juan
I dont get a guilt trip by cheating or really anythin for that matter
its a lose lose situation though
i guess you have to determine if you can live with it, i know i could
but if it is important then dont do it again
its a lose lose situation though
i guess you have to determine if you can live with it, i know i could
but if it is important then dont do it again
i am not saying anything to her. yes to some it is a bad thing if the roles were reversed, yes i would want to know as well. i have always said that if someone cheated on me, they would be gone cuz there is no trust. talk about flunking the life test huh?? but as the days have past i have forgotten about it. yeah she deserves to know but am i going to say anything?? no. some here say it is ok and that we all slip, others say it was a bad thing to do. i was just looking for some reassurance that these things happen. if i care for my gf, why did i do what i did? temptation, and finding it very very hard to say no. but i did it, and will live with it. i am not going to say anything to my gf, and again, denial is a very powerful thing. i have learned my lesson. and will learn from it.
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2003
- Messages
- 546
- Reaction score
- 3
princelydeeds
Master Don Juan
If your going to quote me quote all of what I said not just bits and pieces. I don't lie to people Ive learned my lesson. I dont believe in GF's that why I don't have one. I had a GF who I told the truth too, it was thrown in my face every chance she got. Ultimately it destroyed the relationship. If I was gonna have a relationship and cheat. I certainly would never tell her.
KiInCollege
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2002
- Messages
- 424
- Reaction score
- 3
R2R, I agree that you shouldn't tell her.
I heard from a girl once that her BF told her he had cheated, and now their relationship is doing great, but in the back of her mind she always has his admission and thinking of it hurt her everytime.
But, 2 months? I'm surprised you decided to go exclusive that soon, if there is no sex from her. That's eating the hambuger without the meat, man. You set yourself up to gobbling up random grilled meat tossed to you in the street.
I heard from a girl once that her BF told her he had cheated, and now their relationship is doing great, but in the back of her mind she always has his admission and thinking of it hurt her everytime.
But, 2 months? I'm surprised you decided to go exclusive that soon, if there is no sex from her. That's eating the hambuger without the meat, man. You set yourself up to gobbling up random grilled meat tossed to you in the street.
Walden
Master Don Juan
You need to decide wether you're telling her for her benfit or yours. You soundlike you've learned a valuable lesson though. (Don't bang 2 women who know one another!)
