Career First, Women Second

[bigneil]

A lot of members (who are probably under age 23) still live in this fantasy world where somewhere out there exists a woman who will love them for THEM and not for any measurable material benefits he may provide.

Feminists will chime in that men who don't believe in this fairy tale sleigh ride are just bitter toward women in general.

Bullsh*t.

The reality is, a woman is a parasite and a man is a host.

Therefore, 99% of us would be better off channelling our energy into our career advancement, because ultimately woman are a subset of the life we can provide ourselves.

The bottom line: if you are unemployed and somehow pretending that you can play the game and get the girl, you are dreaming. She'll dump you the microsecond she learns about your finances. Work on your career instead and the women will follow.

 

[nismo-4]

As I've learned, women might respect all the ambition, drive, grind, motivation, etc. but they want the money NOW. If this were false, MIT students would have groupies. :crackup:

Women want a working man who made it, not a working man trying to come up.

I've also looked at surveys about what women find most attractive. Said surveys have confidence and personality and charm and what's inside as top qualities. Through bitter experience, it's bullsh*t to the 5th power because women ACTUALLY want a famous muscular millionaire who has lots of time to spend with her.

Reality bites.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I can always agree to put your career first before women. and that when you get more money you will gain more confidence resulting in more ladies. But you don't need to have money to get a girl. I'm not the richest person here but I'm pretty damn sure the girls admire my ambition. I'm nowhere near wealthy and won't be for a couple years but I got more girlies then most people will have in there life.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I can always agree to put your career first before women. and that when you get more money you will gain more confidence resulting in more ladies. But you don't need to have money to get a girl

Exactly. There are plenty of women with jobs and their own money, but no man.

 

[Iceberg]

Even taking it beyond careers, just focus on the things in life that you can control. Gym. Hobbies. Social circle. And of course, career.

With women, sometimes you're hot and sometimes you're cold. So you can't have your self esteem based around something that's an outside factor...Establish controllable goals with the gym or hobbies or your savings account. And worry about women the way you worry about weather...some days are good, some are bad, and that's just how it is.

 

[loveshogun]

Well, that was bitter.

I agree in principle, but there's something about this that makes me feel worried. Like one of my brothers has been hurt.

Anyway, I was going to say not all women are parasites. My mother, for example, who used to bail me out of trouble all the time.

You would say that it's her job, true.

But then, there are a lot of parents who bail on their kids. So... yeah.

Just something to think about.

 

[bigneil]

What a coincidence loveshogun - the only woman I ever knew who wasn't a parasite was my mother also. But then I realized that we are part of our mother - she is the only woman we will ever truly be part of. Don't let the fact that your mother loved you to death lead you to believe there exist any other woman who will offer that unconditional support.

And it's not negative. If women are normally parasites, that normalizes such behavior - so it's not bad, it's average. Every woman can't be bad. It's just a new reality for men to accept, which happens to go against what our #1 woman always told us.

A man is a tree and a woman is a bird who builds a nest in the tree. If the tree falls the bird must fly off or perish.

A woman doesn't love a man the same way as a man loves a woman. Men will die for what they love - women will never die for what they love (besides maybe their children). But that's because in the family unit of father, mother, child, only the father is expendable.

 

[zekko]

The bottom line: if you are unemployed and somehow pretending that you can play the game and get the girl, you are dreaming. She'll dump you the microsecond she learns about your finances. Work on your career instead and the women will follow.

I tend to agree with your main statement that women are parasites and men are the host. However, I have known guys who flipped this. Guys with no job who would lure women to support them. But to do this, it helps if the guy is better looking than the woman.

I've also looked at surveys about what women find most attractive. Said surveys have confidence and personality and charm and what's inside as top qualities

I agree that those are the qualities women want. What the surveys don't mention is that a woman will most likely perceive these qualities in a guy if he is rich and good looking.

A man is a tree and a woman is a bird who builds a nest in the tree. If the tree falls the bird must fly off or perish.

Traditionally that is true, but this is what has changed about the world. Women are now able to support themselves (maybe not as well, but they can do it). So they no longer need the tree. If the tree falls, or if they cut it down, they no longer need to perish. Which has increased the odds of them abandoning the tree.

 

[SgtSplacker]

We all want something, whether it be: children, sex, security, companionship, a family. These are all wants and desires we all share. I'll tell you one thing for sure. Having a crappy attitude like that will never produce a person loving you for the man you are and nothing more. Because what you are is a bitter person and nobody looks up to that. You must live life the right way only for the sake of doing things right and nothing else. Regardless of who thinks what, or what happens. You do these things for yourself and nobody else. This kind of appreciation can't be smooth talked, or bought. It has to be proven by actions in the toughest of times.

What woman will love you for who you are? ALL of them will, they just have to see this good side of you and trust me they will come around. There is no better pickup game than someone realizing you are their hero. When a woman sees a man has strength of character like that, he would have to be hideous indeed for her not to want him. And this is not proven by AMOGing or any other petty crap like that. Wanna know whats better and harder than AMOGing? Making an enemy a friend. One of my best friends now I met because be pulled a knife on me in Jr. High because of some girl whom I don't even remember her name.

Now situations to prove your salt like this are few and far between. It just doesn't happen that often. But keep your balls in the right place and you will be ready when it does.

 

[bigneil]

I'm not saying we shouldn't strike out to be unique individuals. The most significant event of my last relationship was the fact that I drew a picture of her. That was the turning point for us. Fame is fleeting but Art is eternal. But I never would have got to the point where she noticed or appreciated my art skills if I hadn't passed 100 other tests already.

 

[Trump]

The problem with "career first, women second" type of thinking for guys who have trouble with women think: OK, I will focus on being rich. I will study, study, study, get a good job, save up, buy a house, have no mortgage, and the girls will flock to me! Then they get depressed, bitter, and angry when the aren't girls flocking to them when they have all this money.

Have to realize that getting girls are NOT a cause and effect situation. Quality girls don't care about specific things, and if they do, they will leave you for next thing that is bigger and bolder.

Look at PrettyBoy, he's 6'4, but he's not rich, and he gets more numbers in one weekend that others do on one year.

 

[Bible_Belt]

A guy I know from high school is getting set to retire at age 40, when the mortgage on his giant house is paid off. He's literally a rocket scientist. And unless he gets laid any time soon, which I doubt, he will also literally be a 40 y/o virgin.

 

[perseverance]

All I care about is being happy, I don't need a lot of money and I don't need women and guess what? I'm generally happy with life at the moment.

I used to plan out life and it never went to plan, something would also dictate a change of course and you know what? That was annoying, sure, it was infuriating, but I've learned to take each day as it comes and just to enjoy life, treasure the small things and to ultimately just roll with the punches.

 

[OldbutSTRONG]

Therefore, 99% of us would be better off channelling our energy into our career advancement, because ultimately woman are a subset of the life we can provide ourselves.

The bottom line: if you are unemployed and somehow pretending that you can play the game and get the girl, you are dreaming. She'll dump you the microsecond she learns about your finances. Work on your career instead and the women will follow.

You are a very wise poster. Most guys should stop being lazy and focus on a career first, women second.

If guys just want to date a few times, have sex, then split who cares about a career?

But if a guy finds a girl he values, I'm pretty sure she expects you to be able to afford some vacations, property, occasionally going out to eat. It's only human nature for women to want a provider.

I can still get women, but if I actually had a career and made more money, the options would increase.

Guys, don't be lazy. Go to school and get a career! Work on your game on the side, but you still need money in this world to enjoy other things in life.

 

[OldbutSTRONG]

A guy I know from high school is getting set to retire at age 40, when the mortgage on his giant house is paid off. He's literally a rocket scientist. And unless he gets laid any time soon, which I doubt, he will also literally be a 40 y/o virgin.

At least he's a retired 40 y/o virgin as opposed to a virgin living at home working at Wal-mart.

 

[yuppaz]

I personally believe and have seen many many times that guys that focus SOLELY on their career without also creating a healthy balance of social and romantic lives are very unhappy. They are skillful with making money (which is good) but not skillful with dating and friendship. THey are unbalanced as they have their drive and ambition cranking (REAL GOOD), but they don't have the areas that de-stress and relax you, make you feel like the effort is worth it in place (they got the yang, but they are yin-less). You need to aspire and move actively towards reaching your full potential, but you also need to keep your social skills sharp.

I have many friends that are one or the other and a few that are both. The ones that have the social and seduction skills / the connection skills ONLY date a lot...sometimes serious hotties (sorry to burst your bubble there) and seem to have a lot of well being to them, but they lack confidence and ambition, and therefore they are far behind on their careers. The women they are with won't stay for very long, but they come along often.

The ones that work work work and move up in life are very stressed, and lack a sense of well being, tend to get lonely but do have financial security. They don't work their social muscles and therefore have a very difficult time relating to others.

The ones that do both have women that are excited to be around them, can meet them easily and often and those women will want to stay. They have financial security to enjoy life even more then the ones who are not as driven but are more social. < that's where you want to be. Organize your life so that you feel great about your work life, great about your social life and your romantic life. Being social and seductive are like muscles in your brain that need to be constantly used in order to be most effective. Don't wait until some magical future date to work on all three of them.

Incidentally - having more well being AND confidence makes your life with better and better women more likely and makes your career prospects better (at the upper levels, social skills are essential for your work life, regardless of what you do...well unless you are a day trader or something isolated).

 

[bigneil]

Going to an interview and going on a date are very, very similar events.

 

[Mike32ct]

Going to an interview and going on a date are very, very similar events.

Very true. The only difference is the interviewer usually asks less questions than my dates do lol.

 

[backbreaker]

you know usually I think he OP is one of the.. to be blunt.. worst posters not his forum, but this is a harsh.. well not harsh, but it's a truism. though you will never convince 98 out of 100 guys this regardless of how many guys tell them otherwise.

as most of you know i started a business at a very young age and in that time, i took a sabbatical from women, for a little over 3 years, for practical and business reasons.. to be frank I could not afford to go on dates and even if i could, women at the time just were not interested in me, in comparison to my 2 best friends who were sigmas in college and kicked it every weekend, i was seen as nothing as a tag along. more than once women asked them why they keep bringing me around lol, i could not dress, i was somewhat akward because i lived in my office/apartment working 24x7 and me going out with them was my only real interaction with the known world lol after a few years of that, some things you take for granted leave. but they cared enough about me to get me out the house even if it wasn't popular.

I found first hand, lol no one ****s ambition. i assure you there isn't' enough ambition in the world to get a woman wet. women want the fruits of your ambition, not the ambition itself. i remember one of the girls my friends tried to hook me up with, honestly, wasn't even all that cute but **** after 2 years i would have fvcked a fish if it looked at me the right way, i remember talking to her or what not about what i was doing or what not and how far we had come along and it was around tis time where i could finally, i don't want to say know we made it, but things started looking better and i knew we were on the right track, and she was like oh that's nice and that's great... yeah she never called me again, ended up dating some dude that worked at school.

it was only after things really turned around and i started to be able to do some things for me and not my company, and get my wardrobe and my car game and physical game up to shape that women started to say things like you are so young and ambitious, and i was thinking **** i was ambitous 2 years ago lol you didn't give a **** then.

but as i get older i don't really hold this against women i mean, to put in persdpective, i remember this girl who had this huge crush on me in AA, i mean she followed me like a lap dog and well she was a bit chubby. she wasn't ugly but i was on some serious talent by this time and she just didnt' snuff up. i knew she was going to the gym we even talked about it alot. 8 months later, from 170 to 115 soak and wet she was now easily the hottest thing in the room and i mean, my only real fault was the same fault that every toher guy in trhe room had, we didn't like her when she was big but **** what could i do go to her now and say well you are now cute lol you weren't then. i mean i could and that would be hoenst but it is what it is. it was a very odd relationship actualy we ended up being reall good friends, and god she was hot and i know she was attracted to me but beucase i showed her i wasn't really interested in her outside of her looks nothing was ever really going to happen.

anyway, so i hold no grudges about what. women want the bst, just like men do. i don't want fat women women who have the ambition to lose weight, no more than a woman wants a poor man with the ambiton to get money or have a nice career.

so that's not really what i took away from my whole experience. the 2 most important things i took away from it were this

1. the person i was before the business and byt he time i started dating mwas night and day. i grew up very fast. the family issues people used to call my dad about they called me now about. i was the man of the family. i had went through some things, some good, most bad,l but i came out and i came out, wise, resilient, and level headed. while at the time i still had some seriuos AFC tendences, i had started developing the makings of a back bone, that i couldn't dream of having before the business. I knew from my experience that i was a good catch and there was a level of respect a woman was going to have with me and i would not accept anything less.

I mean, most men get married at 24-26 and are in no way really ready to be a head of a household. we all sap up the equal rights feminist BS but women want a man to lead and most men never have and wouldn't know how if they had to. this is not the 60's where most men who got married grew up durning WW2 and had to work extra hard and had to make some sacrifices or the 80's where most black men whog ot married went through the last of the real civil rights drama, you have 25-30 year old men today who have experienced absoutly nothing. have done nothing. a woman thinks you are cute and half ass likes you and now you think you are ready to be the head of a house hold and it does not work like that.

about a year ago my old oneitis, we still keep in touch every so often called me panicking becdause (gasp) they had spent too much money around Christmas and did not know how they were going to pay their mortgage on time for the next month beucase they were trying to sale one of their cars and it did not go through. and i mean she is really freaked out and he doesn't know what to do and i'm thinking seriously? this freaks people out lol? just like i chuckle when i see the little commercials about the "tax people harassing you, call XXX" and they show these people getting worked up and **** over someone calling them and asking for money.

2. more importantly, and this gets over looked in the love mate /age we live in today, the women i was able to catch before the business, i was not poor but no were near rich growing up, cute, handsome but not hot, usually kept a GF and a good looking one but usually a notch down from the serious serious talents, and the women i was able to catch AFTER the business, night and day. my wife now would not have looked twice at me 10 years ago no doubt in my mind. not beucase she is a slut or a ***** but beucase she could do better and she knows it.

this to me is the big reason why you should put your career first, beucase in the long run if you do not you are massivlty selling yourself short as far as your "earning potential" is concerned. girls that i was head over heels for 11-12 years ago would be lucky today for me to consider them a friend.

 

[AAAgent]

So true. In fact I've seen women who go gaga over my muscles give me a look of disgust when they witness what I have to actually do to EARN it. Same with career.

Not sure i agree with what Backbreaker said. Having ambition and to emit a sort of character who will achieve that ambition I think is very attractive to women. There are plenty of guys who are out there great with women who tell them stories of their dreams and the girls just go gaga over it. Like he's so dreamy. They eat up every word the guy says because the guy believes in himself but at the same time most of those guys may believe in themselves but never lift a finger to fulfill their potential. In the end, the women realize they've invested in an all show no go type of deal. Ambition is attractive and sexy, having ambition and the ability to fulfill that ambition is just downright godlike probably. I remember telling my ambitions/goals i had planned in college to a girl who i was interested in. She just looked at me like, wow, where have you been all my life. That look in her eyes just made her look at much more appealing. It was like damn, i got her good with that line, and it wasn't a pickup line of any sort.

Career is my main focus if you've read any of my recent posts. I'm running a marathon and i've barely finished my first mile. Career is just a way to make money which will give you many options of making your life easier. For the majority of men, this is what they opt for including myself. However, many men get sidetracked by chasing tail and eventually fall so far behind by the time they are stable enough financially, they're basically pretty old.

If you are content (which means HAPPY) with living a normal life, normal income, etc. All the power to you and there's nothing wrong with that. I wake up every morning wishing i could just stop fighting for my goals i have set. I would love a very peaceful life in the country/suburbs with a dog, medium size house, yard, 3 kids, etc. and work on this starting now, but there's always that feeling in my gut.....Could i have done more. Could i be the man i believe i can be and not the man i want to be??

So now instead of living the peaceful quiet simple life (i dream of this life everyday), i fvcking struggle, bust my ass at work, fight to make my way to becoming the man i believe i can be just for the sake of proving myself right and basically no other reason. I walk around everything sometimes wonder.....if i closed my eyes and never opened them again, that'd would be such a good feeling....but then again, if i close my eyes and don't open them again, I will have lost the war.