i feel really like ****, it's been 3 years, since i've been with a girl, and now i cant even get an eye contact, i stay at home all the time because my friends are all dating. i keep going to sites like facebook or badoo and what i notice is that women even old women pick up the most hot guys, you see like a 42 year old woman going after a 23 year old kid. Even fat and ugly girls think they are all that.
They visit my page, see my pics and pass by like im a piece of **** or invisible. My self esteem hit the bottom and my depression is growing and im becoming a bitter angry person, i wasnt like this.
You guys say the look dont matter but that's BULL****!!!! Im tired of the confidence conversation. What confidence if you are an ugly son of a *****, tell me, what will confidence help me achieve? 3 years of no dating
Alright dude, here's my two cents worth.
Start by actually READING the DJ Bible. There are copies of it on the net if for some reason you can't find it here - I know in the past I couldn't seem to get it on SoSuave. If you can, look for the DJ boot camp thing. I only read through a slim percentage of it and it improved my life. I think there's an active one asking for recruits right now. GO SIGN UP!
*ahem*
Being a Don Juan, or a superior man, is not just about getting girls. Sure, you'll find techniques and things that'll work to help you be a pick-up artist, but these things in themselves will NOT make you satisfied or happy in the long run. All of these things are about being a MAN, and what it takes to get there, because (surprise?) our modern society hasn't taught any of us JACK SH!T about being masculine. Masculinity is even frowned upon it's so fvcking mis-understood.
So, start where you can. At the very beginning. With YOURSELF. You say you're ugly. Get a new wardrobe. Exercise. Eat healthily - this will do wonders for your complexion. Get into the sunlight a bit, it'll make you look less tired and sick (pale) and more healthy and vibrant. Not only that but you will FEEL more vibrant. I found joining a karate class did wonders for my self-esteem. If you're not working, you NEED to get a job. A man needs DIRECTION in his life. Remember: Women should be like a side-dish, not a main meal. If you give them the attention a main meal gets, then it all goes to their ego and they'll walk over you - which is even WORSE than being single for 3 years! More to the point: it weakens your core, or spine, or masculinity. And what does a woman want to be with? That's right - A MAN. So if you compromise your own masculine energy by putting women on a pedestal and worshipping them - it makes them want even LESS to do with you. Don't buy into the bullsh!t - women do not want men to worship them. Women want MEN. And MEN want women. It's all about polarities - hope that makes sense.
First thing first is to find your passion and live it, and then whatever women say or think or feel (which changes like what every 3 fvcking seconds anyways?) won't matter to you and you'll get past this depression like nothing. You'll find you'll be meeting people, and attractive women, in more and more situations, and things will grow exponentially as you work on your life path. The first step to attracting women is to be a MAN - that means you have to live your life with purpose and direction, regardless of what some 42 year old cougar thinks.
Why all this talk about living your own life? Didn't I reply to this to help you get the ladies? Isn't that why you came to SoSuave in the first place? You're precisely right, and that's EXACTLY what I'm helping you do. Women find men who are doing things with their lives VERY attractive. If you can get some life experience by going traveling, sailing, rock-climbing, whatever, then you'll be able to tell stories that throngs of attractive women will be FASCINATED by. As an Internet-surfing kind of guy, I'll put it in a way you'll understand. Ever notice how people on FaceBook who have pictures of them going out, having a good time, etc.... they have more 'friends?' Online girls (who are, by the way, really superficial), DO notice pictures of happy, healthy, and strong men. It's sexy to be alive! Ripped abs and muscly arms are sexy because they're supposed to be a sign of a life well lived!
A man is the best thing to be! We get to fight, be smelly, and swashbuckle (whatever that is)! We get to do risky things, cut business deals, and be filthy fvcking rich! Be a man, dammit, and be PROUD of it! THEN you'll catch the girls because you'll be exuding that masculine energy their feminine polarity so desperately craves! It'll be NATURAL. No amount of tips and tricks will help you unless you get this crucial foundation sorted.
I recommend you read the DJ Bible and the resources available on this site, lurk around discussions, and PRACTICE. Practice, practice, practice! Notice your weak spots, and work on them. If you're shy, practice talking to people. If you dress badly, practice going shopping, or talk to friends about it. Go shopping with a girl you trust - their feedback can be valuable. If you're weak - work out. Believe it or not but men have it a lot easier than girls when it comes to looking good. All you really need is a good haircut (cheaper than women's), a nice couple of outfits (again, usually cheaper than women's), and a bit of healthy exercise and sunshine (cheap as free!), and that can take care of most of what you think makes you ugly. And most importantly, the confidence that most people talk about here which supposedly "trumps looks"? It'll come naturally when you're LIVING LIFE.
So get your @ss off your fvcking computer (unless you're reading something PRACTICAL with the intention of putting it in practice!), AND LIVE!!! Seriously! LIVE!
I also recommend the book,
Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It's not very big, available at many local book stores (so you don't have to order it online) and it should be affordable for you. I mean, you can afford the Internet, right? READ IT.
Life is not hopeless, my friend. I like to think that the best of us go through times like this because they teach us so much that most people wouldn't know sh!t about unless they'd gone through it themselves.
Go well, and ffs, DO SOMETHING, don't just read what we say!
