Can someone explain why I feel this way?

[sosousage]

Been texting this girl at work for a while now. Since Corona we're stuck at home, but we're in a mutual group chat as well with other colleagues.

During the day, whenever I haven't heard from her yet and she says someone in that group, but not to me in private, I feel worthless. I feel like she has no interest in me anymore whatsoever. Then, if she texts me private later, all is good. And if it was the other way around like she texted me in the morning and then in the group, I don't care.

And currently it's been two days since I've heard from her private, but not in the group chat. Sure I guess how I feel, is showing through my behaviour in texting etc, but I don't get it.

These couple of days I have been stuck at home, really are starting to make me crazy. I've had this behaviour and feelings before though, but it's getting worse.

ngl you need to stop

 

[darksprezzatura]

lack of options

hit up other women to lay later when the lockdown ends #next

 

[SayWhat]

lack of options

hit up other women to lay later when the lockdown ends #next

Yeah I agree, I have no other options at all. Never even used OLD, perhaps should just start with it during the lockdown.

 

[SayWhat]

So like I said on monday (about three posts above), she texted me yesterday with a picture of her pet and some "funny" text with it.

I really had it with her yesterday, so I replied after three hours with a simple gif cause I just didn't really care, no text with it. Ofcourse no reply back, which I didn't expect anyway.

But since this oneitis is clearly not over for me, I'm doubting today if I came over like I was "b*tt hurt". Which in a sense I was/am, but was it ok to be so short in my reply?

 

[Visionist]

She sent you a low quality message. Don't make her a big deal.

 

[SayWhat]

Don't know why I can't edit my previous post, so apologies for another one.

I want to get over her (strange to say as we were never together). But getting over oneitis, especially in lockdown, is even harder.

She just posted a picture of something she was doing in the mutual group chat, I know she would have texted something like that to me in private a couple of weeks/days back. I just don't understand why she doesn't anymore.

And my mind is just trying to look for 'good' reasons why she's doing that, like she's trying to make me jealous. These 'what if' thoughts are driving me crazy, I know all the signs are there that I should just leave her, just like you all are telling me, but I would never forgive me if those things that I think are true and she's just a manipulative, insecure woman. Fine, in the off chance this is true, I'd never would want to get in a relationship with her, but just to nail her once, why not...

These days I also start to realize I'm getting into a depression, I don't do anything during the day even though the weather is quite nice and we're still allowed to walk, ride a bicycle or go running. I started gaming a lot and drink a bit too much in the evening. And I think the depression is 90% because of her. Well actually because of me because I know I just do this to myself, but I can't get out so it seems.

 

[Clamslammer]

Don't know why I can't edit my previous post, so apologies for another one.

I want to get over her (strange to say as we were never together). But getting over oneitis, especially in lockdown, is even harder.

She just posted a picture of something she was doing in the mutual group chat, I know she would have texted something like that to me in private a couple of weeks/days back. I just don't understand why she doesn't anymore.

And my mind is just trying to look for 'good' reasons why she's doing that, like she's trying to make me jealous. These 'what if' thoughts are driving me crazy, I know all the signs are there that I should just leave her, just like you all are telling me, but I would never forgive me if those things that I think are true and she's just a manipulative, insecure woman. Fine, in the off chance this is true, I'd never would want to get in a relationship with her, but just to nail her once, why not...

These days I also start to realize I'm getting into a depression, I don't do anything during the day even though the weather is quite nice and we're still allowed to walk, ride a bicycle or go running. I started gaming a lot and drink a bit too much in the evening. And I think the depression is 90% because of her. Well actually because of me because I know I just do this to myself, but I can't get out so it seems.

Come on man...you need to really work on yourself. You are letting a piece of a$$ get you all worked up for no reason. She should be chasing you and a relationship not the other way around. You need to start a business or find something that occupies your mind man that makes you a better person.

You don't reach out to her anymore. If she reaches out to you tell her to come over to your place for dinner and drinks and thats it.

 

[Kotaix]

Been texting this girl at work for a while now. Since Corona we're stuck at home, but we're in a mutual group chat as well with other colleagues.

During the day, whenever I haven't heard from her yet and she says someone in that group, but not to me in private, I feel worthless. I feel like she has no interest in me anymore whatsoever. Then, if she texts me private later, all is good. And if it was the other way around like she texted me in the morning and then in the group, I don't care.

And currently it's been two days since I've heard from her private, but not in the group chat. Sure I guess how I feel, is showing through my behaviour in texting etc, but I don't get it.

These couple of days I have been stuck at home, really are starting to make me crazy. I've had this behaviour and feelings before though, but it's getting worse.

You are projecting a feeling of worthlesness because you know you ARE worthless in some way. This is what happens when your mind goes to lala land where you and her get married in your mind, or go on hot dates in your mind, or how you might have actually found a unicorn (in your mind) and yadda yadda yadda. You create unrealistic expectations and then you feel bad when they aren't met, which they can never be because they're not based in reality. Then you start looking for potential causes of your failings and you find all your failings. Now you're insecure because you've identified all that, and she will be repulsed by you. Then, you'll be even more frustrated with yourself because you blew it and you go into the downward spiral. I call these mind traps rabbit holes for obvious reasons.

The problem is that you probably think compulsively like most people. If you practice meditation and learn how to quiet your mind on demand, this will improve. It's not possible to stop thinking, you'll always have thoughts, but you need to learn to identify when you're heading down a rabbit hole and shift gears into something else to occupy your mind. Stay on your mission and you'll always have something you love to turn to.

 

[SayWhat]

Thanks all, I know deep down you're all right and I know somewhere I've known this all along. It's just been some very difficult couple of years for me, it's nice to get some attention from a hot girl after all this time, even though I know that it's 'toxic' attention.

And btw, she didn't really get much reply on her message in the mutual group chat, so guess who just sended me a text, again about her pet...

 

[tony.shai]

I think you're definitely better off focusing on other women and forgetting this one, especially given the last thing she messaged you. It's clear she's bored and wants to suck you for attention with no expectation of reciprocating anything. Definitely ****s Chad on the side while having fun with guys like you, imo.

 

[Visionist]

^ This guy has it right.

Chad shows up, fücks her senseless, then leaves her drenched in a puddle of her sweat & cüm.

Desperate for non-sexual validation, she throws out silly memes and dog pictures.

Don't bite.

 

[tony.shai]

^ This guy has it right.

Chad shows up, fücks her senseless, then leaves her drenched in a puddle of her sweat & cüm.

Desperate for non-sexual validation, she throws out silly memes and dog pictures.

Don't bite.

Yeah. I remember what brought me to this forum was similar situation. Now I just know that it's not worth my time and next her immediately if she starts to play games like this. If it's hard for you to get rid of her mentally, just imagine her ****ing some big ass muscular guy and them laughing at your texts while cuddling. It's a mental trick, but it could well be true. Every minute you spend wasting on these attention *****s could be minutes you spend on getting better physically and progressing. That's what I learnt from this forum. Let some other loser have her and move on to girls who want to fvck you. Let us know what you're doing every day and what goals you're putting if you think that's gonna help you mentally

 

[SayWhat]

^ This guy has it right.

Chad shows up, fücks her senseless, then leaves her drenched in a puddle of her sweat & cüm.

Desperate for non-sexual validation, she throws out silly memes and dog pictures.

Don't bite.

Guess I needed to hear something like this, although subconciously I already knew this... thanks.

Today she texted me a picture of her in a group video chat with some of her friends on which something ‘funny’ was to be seen. Now this I don’t get though, because she clearly had her need for attention fix today, so why still reach out? To keep me on the hook so she can use me for validation when the time arises?

Today felt actually quite ok as your responses felt like some kind of relief, some kind of motivation to work on myself, but must admit that her latest text has gotten me worked up again a bit. Trying to figure out her behaviour.

 

[CopperHead]

I like being within my dream girl

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@stormrider is scared of lowering his reaction score on an anonymous message board. Oh! the horrors! Life would come to an end.

Antagonizing shows you're not looking for a genuine answer, it shows you want attention. If you can't be authentic with others then it stands to reason you're not authentic with yourself.

Nonetheless we'll attempt to discuss things with you, because giving people a chance is a good leadership quality. Good leadership is also about disqualifying people that abuse their chances at meaningful discussion.

If you can provide a more specific and meaningful question than 'explain further', then you'll receive a more directed/useful answer, and I'd be happy to engage. Otherwise I'm not going to feed trolling behavior, I have much better things to do.

Attempting to get a rise out of someone, trying to get under someone's skin, is a feminine trait. And frankly you're wasting your time trying with someone like @stormrider. Read his post history before claiming 'woo-woo bs', and consider bringing your points forward with some substance.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I like being within my dream girl

"Within"?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@SayWhat
My advice to you is to completely forget about this girl, and all women for the time being. Not in a bitter way, but because you sound like you've been neglecting your sense of self worth and peace of mind. Nothing a woman does should pull at your emotions so much. You simply shouldn't care because you should have a very intimate understanding and confidence in your own resolve and ability to survive dry spells and rejections. You don't seem to have that, and it's essential for great connections.

In your posts in this thread it seems like you want something from her. You write as if she is some tyrannical ruler that isn't giving you something you desperately want. What is that thing you so desperately crave from her? If it's intangible then why can't you provide it for yourself?

Do you know what I would do in your situation? I'd respond to every text as if I expect my text to be the last one in the conversation. Let her do all the work if she wants to be in my presence. I usually don't respond to a text unless it's a question, and even then I only indulge the girls that are showing clear interest and being sweet. I really don't have time to entertain anything else, my life is full. If I don't feel like being playful with her then I'm not going to be. I don't want a forced relationship so I never force myself to act a certain way. What comes my way is meant for me, what doesn't isn't, and being genuine inspires others to be genuine with me. I don't need things sugar coated, and people seem to find that very refreshing. I need very little to be content with myself, and in being so I have amazing freedom in my life and interactions.

Rejections don't register, I see it as simple incompatibility. I have a pleasant calm mood at all times, and if I sense a woman is being negative it's a red flag and I disengage. I only acknowledge sweet submissive behavior, and as a result that's all I have in my life. Let the troubled women be someone else's problem.

Don't fantasize about her being with 'chad' or whatever like others have said. Other men shouldn't even come to mind because you should see yourself in your own league. You shouldn't give a flying fuuck where she goes or who she has sex with. Her experience with you will be entirely unique, that's all that matters.

Any time you catch yourself wrapped up in thoughts about how to get her attention take it as a sign to focus on yourself and reinvent yourself. Liberate yourself from limited closed thinking and explore what the world has to offer. There are more women on this planet than you could meet in a lifetime if you tried, there is no shortage.

If I gave you free unlimited pure cocaine what would you do? Would you abuse it and wreck your life? Or would you challenge yourself to manage your intake? We both know the latter will bring more satisfaction and fulfilment to your life. This is the same thing women secretly want. They want to drown you with their uninhibited sexual energy and watch in amazement as you put them on pause to facilitate other aspects of your life. They so desperately want to be your companion and constantly drowning you, releasing themselves into you, that they get pissed off when guys revolve around them. They see these men as pathetic for not being able to manage their pvssy habit. Many women have encountered so many weak men that they've falsely identified me as weak, but it's not my place to convince them otherwise(and it's a fools errand to try). The ones that are open minded enough to sense my strength for what it is are girls that will be a joy, and all I have to do is acknowledge their sweet behavior to keep them around.

Ideally a woman showers you with unlimited pvssy and it doesn't phase you, it's just business as usual. Challenge yourself to get to this state. Don't put them on a pedestal. The universe provided that pedestal for you. If you feel you're unworthy of it then do the hard inner work until you own it completely. When pvssy is inconsequential you will radiate a god like aura, and people will enjoy the blessing of your presence. Do not try to fake it, the universe will know. Put in the hard work to come from authenticity.

Your peace of mind and sense of self are invaluable compared to passing fancies like pvssy, treat them as such.

 

[Visionist]

Flights to Poland are probably going cheap during this pandemic.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

You know I only antagonized him because he first did the same to me and acted all high and arrogant, right? I rebuke Conceit. Plus, I was drunk.

But no, I was endeavoring to entertain a serious discussion: How is my dream girl "within" me when she's likely in Poland?

And no word of a lie, if you gave me information that would bring us together, and quickly, you would not go without your just reward.

Within the same mental vibe(brain wave) as you. The women you subconsciously attract are the women on your wavelength. They are mentally and emotionally receptive to the energy you put out into the world. When you work on yourself, by reading, working out, meditating, or otherwise challenging yourself you naturally raise your standards and will attract a different set(usually a broader set) of women with your subconscious behavior. If you neglect yourself the girls you naturally attract will change again(and usually to a smaller set).

there is no need to attempt to bribe me. show respect and you will be respected.

 

[Speculator E]

Been texting this girl at work for a while now. Since Corona we're stuck at home, but we're in a mutual group chat as well with other colleagues.

During the day, whenever I haven't heard from her yet and she says someone in that group, but not to me in private, I feel worthless. I feel like she has no interest in me anymore whatsoever. Then, if she texts me private later, all is good. And if it was the other way around like she texted me in the morning and then in the group, I don't care.

And currently it's been two days since I've heard from her private, but not in the group chat. Sure I guess how I feel, is showing through my behaviour in texting etc, but I don't get it.

These couple of days I have been stuck at home, really are starting to make me crazy. I've had this behaviour and feelings before though, but it's getting worse.

You sound like someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder would say.
If you really want to know why you feel or think the way you do, maybe go to a BPD forum instead of here and see if you identify with them.
Most of the guys here don't really understand what BPD is and are clueless.