can men and woman be friends?

[BeExcellent]

I can't resist, but this is a woman's perspective. Not knocking this though. Enter the judge.



Read between the lin- Thanks for a rather sensible post.

FYI, When I winged I got my guy friends laid with other women. A couple dozen times in fact for one of my male friends; another male friend I introduced to his wife, and the wife is 27 years younger than him

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Oh, what I do is..when (if) I go out at night, I usually wait until the sun goes down, to ensure that it is "nighttime".

Then I leave the house, walk to my motorcycle, put the keys in the ignition, and put it in (D)rive.

Then I take off, and I'm out.

That is how I go out at night.



All by myself.



Why would she (or you) find it odd?

from my experience, if you are seeing a woman more than a couple months and have no close friends/people to introduce to her it's weird. Not your experience?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

from my experience, if you are seeing a woman more than a couple months and have no close friends/people to introduce to her it's weird. Not your experience?

Not my experience at all...not even in the slightest bit.

 

[plumber]

The quote just explain why women who works with men in a job, will eventually cheat one day.

Anyway,

being "friend" with men it's also a "digital" thing nowadays.
I don't like what He says around minute 8, about esabilishing "boundaries" in a indirect way.
If you're serious about your LTR, You MUST tell her what you consider a limit and what is not!
What do you think?


And btw, one of my boundaries I've set for what I consider to be LTR is "to not use social media at all".
Infact, during the LTR, social media will be paused. If she won't agree, I'll next her.

The boundary will not likely work out. So much social activity and professional/business activity that is wired into social media. I get what you want to avoid, but it has to be done a different way.

Social media for sure gives access to your LTR for others. They will just ignore you and continue with getting to know your LTR. Really can't block social media completely and still get things done...

If she is starting or allowing the getting to know with guys and there is no reason other than to become friends that probably is not the LTR you want. Better to find out soon and make the change than to block her (control) and later things go silly. If she wants other men, she doesn't want you the way you want to be wanted. That sucks, but its a fact.

She might try to convince you that its ok, and platonic and bbla bla bla. Its not about her, its about you and how it feels for you. If your that low on her priority, then she should be lower on yours; maybe FWB. Never ever met a man that wants his mate to get to know other guys. I know plenty that tolerate it, and even defend it because that is part of tolerating. convincing self and others.

Plenty of good women screw up good men, because they will not give up the thrill of getting attention from men in general. Some men can tolerate it for time, but it will eventually screw up even the strongest. Never ever heard of a lifetime(60 years) marriage where the woman is or was flirty.

She needs female friends, make sure she has some and or gets more.

 

[jhonny9546]

Some men can tolerate it for time, but it will eventually screw up even the strongest

For a LTR with me, either pause social media, or stay single and keep it active..your choice.

We need to replace online validation with a private, physical connection, like a personal photo album documenting our special moments. Seeking validation from your partner is healthy; seeking it from acquaintances isn't. Find a woman who agrees, and you're set.

Never ever heard of a lifetime(60 years) marriage where the woman is or was flirty.

Interesting pov, please tell us more.

 

[plumber]

For a LTR with me, either pause social media, or stay single and keep it active..your choice.

We need to replace online validation with a private, physical connection, like a personal photo album documenting our special moments. Seeking validation from your partner is healthy; seeking it from acquaintances isn't. Find a woman who agrees, and you're set.

Almost any social group your in will have a social media footprint. Its sort of jerky to not use it for logistics. You do have to pay attention to what is going on with it. I think you mean you don't want men getting to know her on social media, if so I would agree. But social media is part of life now for most interactions. If she is keeping touch with some dude, that's a hard no. If she is scheduling for a party or event, then its ok. If you have social media and she does not allowed, that's not good. If neither of you have it, it will affect you ability to thrive in the world. It sucks, but its part of life now.

Now a different question is if social media should be private between a couple or public. Its easy to hide the social media and just lie about not having it. It probably should not be private, as privacy is the mother of all corruption. If a dude is trying to connect and your the one that answers occasionally and that doesn't bother her, that's good. If it bothers her, then she wants her privacy because....????? Its a blazing red flag. Many women will really fight for this one to have privacy and respect and accuse you of being insecure, find a woman that is happy to have you involved with her interactions with other men.

For short time or non LTR, really don't care who she talks to.

Interesting pov, please tell us more.

Its just the basics, long term LTR doesn't ever work when woman insist to keep contact with the guys. Some women will insist it is ok, and some men will also so that they don't sound weak or insecure. Deep down men don't like that and it slowly takes away from them if she does it and he allows it.

She can be polite without needing to get a connection and not allowing a guy to get a connection with her.

I don't know of any examples where the woman is flirty and its works out for long time. I know plenty of examples where the man is flirty and it works out just fine. Maybe its not fair.

 

[FlirtLife]

The age of each poster predicts their answer.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Yes and I tend to prefer to do business and hire females tbh.

 

[The Duke]

Most women don't meet my standards for friendship. It doesn't work for me.

I never liked most of my female bosses either.

Too much drama. Too flakey. Too self centered. They don't understand the 50/50 game. They don't appreciate male humor.

They lack honor, loyalty, and respect that my male friends have.

If they are hot I want to fuhk them. Just how I am wired.

When you are in a romantic relationship with a woman they become more complimentary.

You ever seen how two best female friends treat each other? Yeah enuff said.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

As long as neither are attracted to the other

 

[RangerMIke]

Sure. But she has to be nothing but a friend to the man. However, I have very few female 'friends', and the ones I do have are more like sisters and cousins than anything else. I do have a number of female acquaintances... but I wouldn't call them friends.

 

[jhonny9546]

@plumber

It's not a matter of having social media or not, but of taking validation from within and not from without.
So validation should be taken from family, relatives, friends, and not from social media.
Then, she can talk to a guy and you will never know, but I'm talking about validation and not cutting off his communication with others. He would do it anyway.

 

[CornbreadFed]

After some consideration, I want to say that I only think friendships between men and female can only occur within the right circumstances such as maturity level, lack of sexual attraction, and etc.

 

[SW15]

After some consideration, I want to say that I only think friendships between men and female can only occur within the right circumstances

This is a fair assessment. I think those right circumstances are more difficult to find.

lack of sexual attraction

This is more of a male issue than a female issue. Females are well known for lacking sexual attraction to a large percentage of men. The younger generation (Gen Y/Millennials and Gen Z) females have had more abundance. As a result, they've been even fussier in terms of attraction than their Baby Boomer or Generation X predecessors.

When men lack sexual attraction to a woman, friendship is more possible. However, issues tend to arise in these friendships. They aren't usually as fulfilling as friendships with other heterosexual males. If the friendship is local, the unattractive or mid female friend may or may not provide introductions to her friends. Some of her friends might be attractive.

maturity level

This helps. It's easier to do at age 30 and beyond. More maturity helps but I don't think 30+ men should prioritize platonic female friendships in any way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One disappointment I have in the mating environment over the years is that none of my interactions with my friends' girlfriends/wives led to anything. I never received social circle introductions from these girlfriends/wives. It would have made my life easier and would have reduced the amount of stranger approaching and app swiping I did.

 

[plumber]

@plumber

It's not a matter of having social media or not, but of taking validation from within and not from without.
So validation should be taken from family, relatives, friends, and not from social media.
Then, she can talk to a guy and you will never know, but I'm talking about validation and not cutting off his communication with others. He would do it anyway.

yea, you want a self confident reliant woman that does not hunger for approval from others, accept perhaps from you. its best for them and us to be able to validate self. that's all theory, reality is that most like to have some approval from others.

so can't say "no social media". Definitely don't want her to have provocative photo on social media with lots of likes from men. Also maybe look at the ratio of friends, men vs women. If its all or mostly men, why.... One reason is men will put of with bad behavior and treatment to be connected to a hot woman. Women won't put up with it from other women.

 

[CornbreadFed]

This is more of a male issue than a female issue. Females are well known for lacking sexual attraction to a large percentage of men. The younger generation (Gen Y/Millennials and Gen Z) females have had more abundance. As a result, they've been even fussier in terms of attraction than their Baby Boomer or Generation X predecessors.

When men lack sexual attraction to a woman, friendship is more possible. However, issues tend to arise in these friendships. They aren't usually as fulfilling as friendships with other heterosexual males. If the friendship is local, the unattractive or mid female friend may or may not provide introductions to her friends. Some of her friends might be attractive.

I agree and disagree tbh. I do think women place a large percentage of men in the unattractive category, but I have seen women place men they would sleep with or have slept with before as friends. The second part, I have seen toxic relationships occur with same sex or different sex. For example, If it wasn't for my female friend, I would not have been able to upstart my business. However, my male friends back at home were toxic AF and would have held me back significantly in life it I move away from them. I still hang out with them occasionally, but I keep it like that for a reason.

 

[zekko]

Men and women can't be friends when there's physical attraction for at least one party. In most cases, it is usually the man who is physically attracted to the woman.

I don't think male-female friendship works well when there isn't physical attraction either. I had one female friend at one time who was mid. I rated her about 5. She wasn't overweight and her facial aesthetics were not impressive. She was being chased by hundreds of guys on the apps but barely attracting any attention in real life venues. She had sex with many men but failed to get any lasting commitment.

I think there will usually be attraction from at least one of the parties. But for the friendship to be optimal, it's best that the attraction level isn't high enough to be very disruptive.

 

[jhonny9546]

After some consideration, I want to say that I only think friendships between men and female can only occur within the right circumstances such as maturity level, lack of sexual attraction, and etc.

I had one like that, then the sexual attraction arose, due to the depth of the genuine interaction with this person.
It also depends on the timing

This is more of a male issue than a female issue

Not in my case. The opposite

Definitely don't want her to have provocative photo on social media with lots of likes from men.

Men will like those less innocuous things just to show "covert" interest.

I don't care. If she wants a relationship with me, social media must be paused.

She can find another man who is okay with social media being active.

I know it's a strong boundary, but I don't care.
If she won't bend to that, it means he's not interested in me.

 

[Mike32ct]

I should also add that most women friends I’ve had in recent years are ones I met through work. That sets up a respectful platonic dynamic from the beginning, generally.

I met the boyfriend of my current female friend. I’m sure he was skeptical in the beginning, but he’s been cool with me because he gets that I’m her coworker. So we get along ok.

I’ve always been respectful of their relationship and never said a bad word about the guy.

 

[Drmuscular]

Yeah you can even practice flirting too they do it for fun, I would **** em if I'm really bored but even if you would **** them I think is possible.

There are a lot of women in my career so I am kind of obligated to have female friends, they can be pretty cool and most women do what a lot of guys don't (They listen to you, they give you cute gifts, etc) in fact I found that the things observed in books like the book of pook or rational male, I already knew like half of them because I observe how my female friends behave with their oneitis or whatever and see how they behave in general.

Just never put them before your male friends, rarely a woman will be a better friend than a male, they can be better friends than feminized males though.

Also friendzone feminists, its better that way than to have them be your enemy and give you a headache, in fact if you friendzone them and they are somewhat attracted to you they can even defend or ignore some of the "maleness" they hate so much.