Can I save my LTR?

[cordoncordon]

Looking back, I think what happened with IL was that hers was sky high at first, and her feelings continued to grow deeper, and then at some point I fell for this girl. I felt something for her that I hadn't felt in many years and certainly didn't feel about the women I dated/banged/talked to in the past. I was very jaded and cold.

So I became so incredibly happy about what I was feeling, and finally felt alive again. A woman finally meant something to me again. At that point I think I really lost control of myself, not necessarily the relationship, but my ability to just stay cool. She knew that she had me and I was no longer the huge challenge/value I was in the beginning.

Add in the pressure from school (she doesn't even know if she's going to be living here within a year/200K in debt/now 4th year med/in a year will start residency working ~130hrs a week), the huge emotions invoked by her unmarried best friend (3rd year med also) just having her unplanned baby with her guilt over the abortion, the unresolved feelings of pain from being rejected by an ex she obviously loved deeply, then the realization that she and I were getting serious and she wasn't sure she had the capacity right now to give me the same thing I could give her... it was just too much. As one poster put it, "too much stuff."

Ok this is my point and I have tried to stress this to you for the past week but you don't seem to be grasping it. You talk about feeling incredibly happy finally, about her meaning something to you, about you giving yourself 100% to the relationship as IF THAT IS A BAD THING!? Hello? That is a freaking GREAT THING. And don't let anyone ever tell you it isn't. To truly be in a relationship with someone where you know, you just KNOW they have your back 100%, is really a wonderful thing. To be in a relationship where you don't have to constantly be on guard to say or do the right thing ALL the time. I am not saying you become a pushover afc by any means. You still maintain your frame. Still stay that ****y and funny so she thinks you could, not that you want to, but could get another great girl anytime you wanted. You still tease her. You don't give her flowers on all the made up holidays, you do it when she least expects it because you WANT to. You don't call her or text her 20 times a day. But you give yourself to her. You aren't afraid to tell her how much she means to you, how much you love her. And for the most part it sounds like you did that with her. And her reaction was to start talking to an ex? And your reaction is to blame yourself for doing these kinds of things? For loving a person and wanting to be loved the same in return? Really??

Look, someday, you will find someone that you can love completely, that you can love 100%, and that will feel the same about you in return. You won't have to play little games, you won't have to pretend to be someone you aren't. It took me a LONG time to find that. But I did. I am with someone, and I'm sure this will sound corny, but I am with someone who I tell her how wonderful she is every day. I tell her I love her every day. And she does to me as well. I don't feel a hint of anguish about doing that. We have each others backs at all times. We are lovers, best friends, everything. But we don't have to flaunt it. There are no pics of us together on FB. I have posted exactly once on her wall in 2 years. We don't go around telling everyone how much we love each other. We just....do it. And when you find a person like that my friend, THAT is when you will truly have found the right person. And this girl is not it.

 

[cordoncordon]

And as far as the school stress thing? That is just a bunch of BS. You SHOULD be her release, her way of coping with her stress. You should be the one thing in her life that no matter how stressed is while she is at school, she can think of you and know that later that day, she will see you and all will be well and she looks forward to that all day. That is how my gf and I think of each other. Don't let her tell you otherwise. If this girl really loved you, you would be the shining light in her life, not an extra burden. I once had a girl tell me she was stressed at work and because it was her period and this that and the other thing, and as SOON as she got over all that, we could be together again. She started dating a new guy in a month.

Cmon bro. She just is not that into you. I know it hurts to hear that, but her actions are really speaking louder than words here. Move on. Completely. Believe it or not there are quality women out there who will treat you like a king.

 

[49au]

cordon,

I agree that I did not deserve this. And she has said the same thing 1000 times. I honestly believe that she feels guilt because she is "supposed" to want me. It only makes logical sense that she would.

But I did make mistakes, I did make things too serious too soon instead of letting her come to me, and when I sensed her pulling back a little over the last couple months, I pressured her instead of withdrawing and letting her chase me. For now, it makes it a lot easier to cope with this by looking at what I did wrong so I can have the hope that this will not happen again with someone else. Yeah, she fvcked up. But I don't want to look at women and just think they'll up and leave for no reason when I gave 100%. There has to be a reason. If I can show a woman love after not giving a sh1t about all the other ones, and she leaves, it makes me feel like there was something wrong with me. That is very difficult for me (and my ego) to overcome. Especially because for most of our relationship she was just as into it as me, if not more.

 

[cordoncordon]

cordon,

I honestly believe that she feels guilt because she is "supposed" to want me. It only makes logical sense that she would.

But I did make mistakes, I pressured her instead of withdrawing and letting her chase me. For now, it makes it a lot easier to cope with this by looking at what I did wrong so I can have the hope that this will not happen again with someone else. Yeah, she fvcked up. But I don't want to look at women and just think they'll up and leave for no reason when I gave 100%. There has to be a reason. .

I think you are over analyzing this. This will hurt, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, she just was not that into you. If she was, she would have never done any of this. She would have done the exact opposite. There is nothing you could have done or said differently to change this outcome. Maybe you could have prolonged it. You need to trust me on this.

 

[BadNews]

I find it funny that the title of this post is "Can I save my LTR?", and this is how things played out.

I think you WERE in a position to save this...but you took it WAAAYYYY too far. Starting with pressuring her about the relationship when she's already feeling a lot of pressure from other areas of her life (you should have pulled back and given her some space..women don't want to be smothered...Less is often more), and then jumping to a breakup. That being said, you've now gone WAY past the point of no-return...and you need to accept that and MOVE THE **** ON!

As a side-note: Next time you want to 'save your ltr'...there are other ways to let a girl know you're not going to put up with wishy washy **** from her OUTSIDE of jumping straight to a breakup like you did. There was no reason to push as hard as you did, and had you taken a different route things could quite possibly have played out differently. Would it be forever? Who ****ing knows...but that cannot be answered for ANY relationship.

 

[49au]

cordon,

I hold no illusions that she is still into me. But she was, something changed. I'm telling you, up until 2-3 months ago everything was perfect and she showed was JUST as into me (not just in words, but in action) as I was into her. And I have just been trying to find a reason for it (and think I have found some), to give myself the comfort of knowing that there is a logical reason the disconnect happened and that I can prevent this from happening again. I do not want to feel this way again and have the same thing happen.


BadNews,

I agree that it could've played out differently, because I pushed her away hard and fast. But I was so tied in knots over this that I had to have a resolution of some kind quickly. I couldn't drag it out. I hope in the future that based on this experience, I will be able to see the big picture better and have more patience if something like this happens again.

 

[cordoncordon]

cordon,

I hold no illusions that she is still into me. But she was, something changed. I'm telling you, up until 2-3 months ago everything was perfect and she showed was JUST as into me (not just in words, but in action) as I was into her. And I have just been trying to find a reason for it (and think I have found some), to give myself the comfort of knowing that there is a logical reason the disconnect happened and that I can prevent this from happening again. I do not want to feel this way again and have the same thing happen.


BadNews,

I agree that it could've played out differently, because I pushed her away hard and fast. But I was so tied in knots over this that I had to have a resolution of some kind quickly. I couldn't drag it out. I hope in the future that based on this experience, I will be able to see the big picture better and have more patience if something like this happens again.

Don't get me wrong, I am sure she really liked you. Maybe even loved you to an extent. And I am sure she loved all the trips you took her on and the lifestyle you two led. But around the 6 month mark is a very common area where two people make it or break it. Usually you either break up, or really start to fall in love if both people truly dig each other. She chose the former. Which tells me she really really liked you, she just wasnt head over heals drop dead in love with you.

 

[cordoncordon]

BadNews,

I agree that it could've played out differently, because I pushed her away hard and fast. But I was so tied in knots over this that I had to have a resolution of some kind quickly. I couldn't drag it out. I hope in the future that based on this experience, I will be able to see the big picture better and have more patience if something like this happens again.

As far as having patience for someone who is playing you off against another guy. I learned my lesson long ago with an ex who met someone at her work. I tried having patience, said I would be there for her and "our love" was awesome and blah blah blah....and 4 months later I got a letter on my truck window telling me she was in love with the "other guy" and moving in with him. NEVER again. It does not work. Once they start playing that card and see that you are still hanging around? It gives them all the power in the world, and they will abuse that power. Be with someone who is devoting 100% of her energy towards you and the relationship. Anything else is UNACCEPTABLE. You need to get out of this mind set you are in that you did something wrong and that you need to change for future relationships. It sounds like you were a great bf and any girl would be lucky to have you. Don't let this one change how you can feel about someone in the future.

 

[49au]

It sounds like you were a great bf and any girl would be lucky to have you.

Then why leave?

I don't want to beat myself up. I did what I could do.

But it is very difficult to just say, "You did nothing wrong" and subsequently believe that a woman can just flake the fvck out on you and not reciprocate your feelings. It's sick. So you either just be a great boyfriend and hope you get lucky in that she doesn't peace out one day, or, you just don't allow yourself to give a sh1t about anyone and just spare yourself the suspense.

Let me ask you a question: If this happened with you and your girl, what would you do? How would you perceive your ability to keep a woman? As much as you love her, you wouldn't be tempted to feel like you couldn't give enough and weren't good enough?

That goes against the very mindset of this forum, which is that men are the prize. And I agree that logically that is true. But I'm talking about real feelings of rejection and confidence issues. Deep down we all want to love and woman and feel like we are her world.

 

[cordoncordon]

I don't want to beat myself up. I did what I could do.

But it is very difficult to just say, "You did nothing wrong" and subsequently believe that a woman can just flake the fvck out on you and not reciprocate your feelings. It's sick. So you either just be a great boyfriend and hope you get lucky in that she doesn't peace out one day, or, you just don't allow yourself to give a sh1t about anyone and just spare yourself the suspense.

Bro believe me it happens, and sad to say I have done it to girls. I mean the girl I was referring to above, that left the note for me on my truck window? I thought she was it. Our relationship could not be better...so I thought. We did everything together, never fought, sex was great, seemed perfect. Than one day when she was over and sleeping, she got a text from an unknown number saying "whats up or something like that....at 1130 at night. I asked who it was, "oh just a guy I met a work, just a friend". We played back and forth for 5 more months after that, then came the note. Sometimes you just can't explain why people do what they do. Hell I can't explain what I do half the time haha. But when you find the right person, you'll know it, and all those insecurities and fears and games will go out the window.

But until then, you just have to realize this and keep saying it in your head. She was just not that into me, there is no use trying to justify or over analyze this, and I can do better.

 

[cordoncordon]

Then why leave?

I don't want to beat myself up. I did what I could do.

But it is very difficult to just say, "You did nothing wrong" and subsequently believe that a woman can just flake the fvck out on you and not reciprocate your feelings. It's sick. So you either just be a great boyfriend and hope you get lucky in that she doesn't peace out one day, or, you just don't allow yourself to give a sh1t about anyone and just spare yourself the suspense.

Let me ask you a question: If this happened with you and your girl, what would you do? How would you perceive your ability to keep a woman? As much as you love her, you wouldn't be tempted to feel like you couldn't give enough and weren't good enough?

That goes against the very mindset of this forum, which is that men are the prize. And I agree that logically that is true. But I'm talking about real feelings of rejection and confidence issues. Deep down we all want to love and woman and feel like we are her world.

To answer your question....no it would not affect me in that way. 10 years ago? Oh yeah it would have, not now. Because I know I have my sh1t together, I know I am a great catch. So while it would hurt in losing her and the comfort and love that we had with each other, it would not hurt my mindset as far as attracting and keeping women. Just realize how many jerks, idiots, broke, lazy, and downright strange men/people there are out there, and then look at yourself. Realize you are a great catch and any woman would be lucky to even date you. Like Jerry Seinfeld said, 95% of the people in this world are undatable lol. When you get to that point, you'll find the right one.

 

[49au]

But when you find the right person, you'll know it, and all those insecurities and fears and games will go out the window.

I thought she was it. Our relationship could not be better...so I thought. We did everything together, never fought, sex was great, seemed perfect.

That's pretty scary. I think I'm feeling more jaded/cynical right now than I ever have.

FWIW - I'm 28, and other than this weird thing that happened when I was 18, this is the first time I've ever been rejected by a woman I care about and truly wanted. (Yes I've been rejected approaching women I wanted, but I'm talking about the context of a relationship). That's another reason I'm having such a hard time.

 

[cordoncordon]

That's pretty scary.

The girl with the note on the truck happened 12 years ago when I was still an afc more or less. I "thought" she was it, but looking back, it wasn't even close to what I have now. I just thought it was. Now I know. Just comes with experience.


And yes, not being used to being rejected Im sure is playing a role here. It happens to the best of us trust me.

In edit because I am out of posts for the time period. The guy who posted below? First off I can't understand half of what he is saying because so many words are blocked out due to his swearing. Secondly, the guy is the A1 example of an AFC and the kind of guy who gets walked on by women time and time again, but who keeps coming back for more without changing a thing. Thirdly, in looking at his other posts, it appears he has some anger issues. He really seems upset at the world. I see he is only 23 too. So ****y. When in reality he doesn't know a freaking thing. I mean 23? haha can you even drink yet little boy?

He sounds kinda insane too.

 

[BadNews]

As far as having patience for someone who is playing you off against another guy. I learned my lesson long ago with an ex who met someone at her work. I tried having patience, said I would be there for her and "our love" was awesome and blah blah blah....and 4 months later I got a letter on my truck window telling me she was in love with the "other guy" and moving in with him. NEVER again. It does not work. Once they start playing that card and see that you are still hanging around? It gives them all the power in the world, and they will abuse that power. Be with someone who is devoting 100% of her energy towards you and the relationship. Anything else is UNACCEPTABLE. You need to get out of this mind set you are in that you did something wrong and that you need to change for future relationships. It sounds like you were a great bf and any girl would be lucky to have you. Don't let this one change how you can feel about someone in the future.

You're not getting the damn point here buddy. And I'm really getting sick and tired of your complete garbage "advice" you've been giving this guy. THINGS IN THIS LIFE ARE NOT ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE! Its not either A) Put up with her "playing you off against another guy" (somewhat assumed, you DO NOT know all the nuances of this situation...even though you seem to think you do) or B) Break up with the dumb b!tch.

There are other courses of action that could be taken. You don't have to say "I'm here for you no matter what cause I'm a damn pvssy, and whenever you decide what you want I'll be fine with it." And you don't have to say "you're a dumb b!tch, you may as well be cheating on me, get the hell out." There is a middle ground to be found.

The facts:
-She started to seem 'distanced'
-She had been in contact with her ex, and had some sort of unresolved issues.
-Our friend 49 here PUSHED AND PUSHED AND PUSHED trying to 'work things out'...WHICH ONLY SERVED TO PUSH HER AWAY (possibly closer to her ex)

WHAT COULD OUR FRIEND HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY???
-If she is feeling overwhelmed by school/other life issues. DON'T MAKE YOURSELF/YOUR RELATIONSHIP ANOTHER ISSUE FOR HER! Things should be FUN, INTERESTING, and STRESS FREE (obviously not possible 100% of the time, but hey)...ESPECIALLY if you've only been dating for 8 months. This really is NOT a long time. The relationship doesn't have to/shouldn't be SUPER serious at this point in time...you're still getting to know eachother, and still becoming a 'couple' (part of eachother's lives).

-You SHOULD have, given her some space. She's obviously got a lot of crap going on, you don't want to be another part of that 'crap'. When you DO see/talk to her, it should be a relieving way for her to 'get away' from all the other garbage in her life. You did the exact opposite! If shes stressed out, give her some space to deal with the crap she needs to deal with, don't stress her out even more. When she wants/needs you to be there with her, you'll know. When you ARE there with her...YOU SHOULD BE TAKING HER MIND OFF ALL THE OTHER CRAP SHES BEEN DEALING WITH! THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END!

-The fact that you jumped from being a complete NUT JOB (read: obsessive) to throwing everything in her damn face and dumping her on her ass was taking it to a whole new level. The idea of 'making her realize how great you are/missing you cause you're not around' is good in theory. BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE ABOUT TRYING TO GET THESE FEELINGS OUT OF HER!

@ Cordoncordon, much of the advice you've given this poor guy over the past week(s?) has been BAD advice (when he got to the breakup stage it was a lost cause anyways)..and if he was taking your advice to heart, I would like to be the one to place much of the responsibility for how this relationsh!t ended on your shoulders. He handled it wrong from the outset (of her distancing herself), but you really helped put the nails in the coffin on this one. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU TRUELY ARE A COMPLETE MORON! If i could de-rep you any more I would. ALSO, much of your 'banter' with other posters on this topic seems FAR too much like you're trying to 'win'; or prove your point..and make sure everyone knows that you're right. YOU'RE NOT RIGHT ALL THE TIME DOUCHE BAG! AND YOU DON'T NEED TO SHOVE YOUR DAMN OPINIONS DOWN EVERYONE ELSE'S THROAT! GROW UP!

@ the OP...for future reference...PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! TAKE ANY AND ALL ADVICE YOU RECIEVE ON THIS SITE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! I'll say it again. TAKE ANY AND ALL ADVICE YOU RECIEVE ON THIS SITE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT These morons do NOT know everything about YOUR relationship, and most of them know next to nothing about making relationships work. This site is focused on picking women up, not helping guys create/build a long-term relationship. Many of the people on here are HORRIBLE with women, and even worse when it comes to relationships. In the future, I would seek advice ANYWHERE but here, because it is quite apparent to me you recieved/acted on a TON of horrible, horrible advice from the people on this site. Ask friends/family who KNOW the people involved, and the situation. Ask a PROFESSIONAL (if it means that much to you, this seemed to be quite important). Seek help on RELATIONSHP sites if that's what you want. DO NOT SEEK HELP FOR YOUR LTR ON A DAMN PUA SITE!

End of rant.

I too am out of posts.

In edit because I am out of posts for the time period. The guy who posted below? First off I can't understand half of what he is saying because so many words are blocked out due to his swearing. Secondly, the guy is the A1 example of an AFC and the kind of guy who gets walked on by women time and time again, but who keeps coming back for more without changing a thing. I see he is only 23 too. So ****y. When in reality he doesn't know a freaking thing. I mean 23? haha can you even drink yet little boy?

He sounds kinda insane too.

Fixed the blocked out words...hopefully you can comprehend now? I think its funny you assume in AFC. Quite frankly I really dont care what kind of assumptions you make about me, or my game. You obviously didn't read what I wrote, because as I said in my post, there were alternative ways for him to NOT LET HER WALK ALL OVER HIM, without resorting to extremes. Extremes being A) being a chump she walks all over B) going overboard and kicking her ass to the curb without putting in an effective effort.

Its humorous to me that you add all kinds of attempts to attack me personally (all of which are assumptions, with no support for said assumptions). And I'm the one that is "AFC" hahahahahaha!

Cheers!

 

[JustinVerj]

You're not getting the damn point here buddy. And I'm really getting sick and tired of your complete garbage "advice" you've been giving this guy. THINGS IN THIS LIFE ARE NOT ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE! Its not either A) Put up with her "playing you off against another guy" (somewhat assumed, you DO NOT know all the nuances of this situation...even though you seem to think you do) or B) Break up with the dumb b!tch.

There are other courses of action that could be taken. You don't have to say "I'm here for you no matter what cause I'm a damn pvssy, and whenever you decide what you want I'll be fine with it." And you don't have to say "you're a dumb b!tch, you may as well be cheating on me, get the hell out." There is a middle ground to be found.

The facts:
-She started to seem 'distanced'
-She had been in contact with her ex, and had some sort of unresolved issues.
-Our friend 49 here PUSHED AND PUSHED AND PUSHED trying to 'work things out'...WHICH ONLY SERVED TO PUSH HER AWAY (possibly closer to her ex)

WHAT COULD OUR FRIEND HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY???
-If she is feeling overwhelmed by school/other life issues. DON'T MAKE YOURSELF/YOUR RELATIONSHIP ANOTHER ISSUE FOR HER! Things should be FUN, INTERESTING, and STRESS FREE (obviously not possible 100% of the time, but hey)...ESPECIALLY if you've only been dating for 8 months. This really is NOT a long time. The relationship doesn't have to/shouldn't be SUPER serious at this point in time...you're still getting to know eachother, and still becoming a 'couple' (part of eachother's lives).

-You SHOULD have, given her some space. She's obviously got a lot of crap going on, you don't want to be another part of that 'crap'. When you DO see/talk to her, it should be a relieving way for her to 'get away' from all the other garbage in her life. You did the exact opposite! If shes stressed out, give her some space to deal with the crap she needs to deal with, don't stress her out even more. When she wants/needs you to be there with her, you'll know. When you ARE there with her...YOU SHOULD BE TAKING HER MIND OFF ALL THE OTHER CRAP SHES BEEN DEALING WITH! THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END!

-The fact that you jumped from being a complete NUT JOB (read: obsessive) to throwing everything in her damn face and dumping her on her ass was taking it to a whole new level. The idea of 'making her realize how great you are/missing you cause you're not around' is good in theory. BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE ABOUT TRYING TO GET THESE FEELINGS OUT OF HER!

@ Cordoncordon, much of the advice you've given this poor guy over the past week(s?) has been BAD advice (when he got to the breakup stage it was a lost cause anyways)..and if he was taking your advice to heart, I would like to be the one to place much of the responsibility for how this relationsh!t ended on your shoulders. He handled it wrong from the outset (of her distancing herself), but you really helped put the nails in the coffin on this one. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU TRUELY ARE A COMPLETE MORON! If i could de-rep you any more I would. ALSO, much of your 'banter' with other posters on this topic seems FAR too much like you're trying to 'win'; or prove your point..and make sure everyone knows that you're right. YOU'RE NOT RIGHT ALL THE TIME DOUCHE BAG! AND YOU DON'T NEED TO SHOVE YOUR DAMN OPINIONS DOWN EVERYONE ELSE'S THROAT! GROW UP!

@ the OP...for future reference...PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! TAKE ANY AND ALL ADVICE YOU RECIEVE ON THIS SITE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! I'll say it again. TAKE ANY AND ALL ADVICE YOU RECIEVE ON THIS SITE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT These morons do NOT know everything about YOUR relationship, and most of them know next to nothing about making relationships work. This site is focused on picking women up, not helping guys create/build a long-term relationship. Many of the people on here are HORRIBLE with women, and even worse when it comes to relationships. In the future, I would seek advice ANYWHERE but here, because it is quite apparent to me you recieved/acted on a TON of horrible, horrible advice from the people on this site. Ask friends/family who KNOW the people involved, and the situation. Ask a PROFESSIONAL (if it means that much to you, this seemed to be quite important). Seek help on RELATIONSHP sites if that's what you want. DO NOT SEEK HELP FOR YOUR LTR ON A DAMN PUA SITE!

End of rant.

I too am out of posts.

Fixed the blocked out words...hopefully you can comprehend now? I think its funny you assume in AFC. Quite frankly I really dont care what kind of assumptions you make about me, or my game. You obviously didn't read what I wrote, because as I said in my post, there were alternative ways for him to NOT LET HER WALK ALL OVER HIM, without resorting to extremes. Extremes being A) being a chump she walks all over B) going overboard and kicking her ass to the curb without putting in an effective effort.

Its humorous to me that you add all kinds of attempts to attack me personally (all of which are assumptions, with no support for said assumptions). And I'm the one that is "AFC" hahahahahaha!

Cheers!

I couldnt have said it any better myself, even though I tried. I hope Cornhole is happy with himself for imo destroying this relationship. I have no idea who he thinks I am, because whoever it is, Im not, but I have honestly never come across someone more conceited, full of himself, and more of a horses ass than this moron. He can sit there, call me tons of names for some strange reason, and pretend he knows me, all I know is if you listened to this guy you did yourself and your relationship a great disservice. I would almost guarantee he is not nearly as successful in life as he portrays with his relationships, and if he carries his attitude of "Im always right and everyone else is wrong" over into real life I would care to guess he doesnt have too many people who care for him let alone even deal with him anymore. When you talk about douches, he is the king. So glad I dont know this idiot out there in the "real world." I feel sorry for his family and friends. If he has any left that is.

What Ive been trying to tell you before this got this far is to do exactly what the poster above said. Read his, mine and a few others posts again and again. In no way shape or form do you let anyone walk all over you, but you wanted to save this, not ruin it for good. And imo it was one that should have been saved but You took this way too far and went way overboard. Even after all of that this girl was begging for you to take her back. What is she supposed to do if you keep saying no?

 

[joverby]

Fixed this for ya.

Listen up Men. The number one rule for anyone and everyone should always be Respect First!

Many MANY times a woman will begin the branch-swing with the above steps. These are your clues, this is why you subconciously know something is wrong. This is why we tell you again and again to end it first and move on.

Rest assured, when you have reached a point with a woman where she does the above, 99% of the time it is GAME OVER. What comes about now is who retains their dignity and value, and who can still extract what they want from the dying relationship.

The woman's primary goal is to firmly grab the next branch (presumably higher value in her mind) without losing a grip on the first one. This time frame is where she is *confused*.

The Man's primary goal is typically to keep things as they are, stick his head in the sand and try to get things back to the way they were. He does not yet realize the relationship is already dead, it just has not stopped all of the motions yet.

What we teach men here is that their primary goal is doomed. The new goal is to get out with your dignity, self-respect and confidence intact. That is why the veterans are here. To help the younger or inexperienced men through this process.

I said in my previous post that this is typical behavior of women when men flip the script. You have removed her security branch, she will scramble to get it back.

Newbies will tell you that you made a mistake and could have saved it. You just have to trust us older guys that those men are wrong., it was not salvageable

Experienced men will tell you that you need to next and find someone with higher interest.

I need to keep reading stuff like this for my relationship. Same exact symptoms, minus talking to the ex (as far as I know). But we just hung out like 2 or 3 days ago and had sex. But since then communication has still been very low. Makes me want to take a walk for good. Why do women have to be so damn confusing ( actions vs words). I still have a hard time excepting it but I know you can only go off of actions.

 

[Sue Madre]

Haha I knew it was you. Aka mynameisnobody, bluntmaster, and about 5 other alias's on this site that have all been banned.

OP if you at all listen to this guy you are doing yourself a complete disservice. He has been banned on this site like I said numerous times, and is a certifiable nutcase. He makes up new alias's just to go after one of my posts before he is banned again.

As I said...Douche.

Chicken Cordon Blue thinks everyone who doesn't agree with him is MNIN. You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

This thread should be archived and read for all the newbies in a new relationship. If you don't set the boundries in the beggining things like this happen.

 

[49au]

So the question is,

Will all desirable women try to branch swing? Because there will always be someone better looking, richer, or more established than you.




AJ,

What boundaries? Tell her she's not allowed to talk to her ex?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Before you get into a serious relationship with a women you need to talk to her about what is right and what is wrong. Your not telling her what to do, Your telling her what you wouldn't prefer and if she does it it would be very disrespectful to you. Talking to an Ex would be one of the things I would talk about in that conversation.