Can guys over 30 get a high lay count? My thoughts and experiences.

Jesse Pinkman

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How To Beast recently released a video about how the lives of men starts at 30 but in his video, he never really talked as much about game and outcomes. He never answered the question so many younger dudes want to know the answer to and one I get DM'd about a lot, can guys over the age of 30 sleep with lots of different women? The Red Pill never truly answered this question, it just released a phony chart based on loose bro-science which talked about how women would want to date you more in your 30s versus your 20s because of SMV.

When we look at someone like How To Beast, we also realize that he has a girlfriend.

A lot of guys asking me this are in their 20s, struggling with life, and cannot prioritize dating and meeting women. I understand, for a part of my 20s, I was living at home with parents and in a boring suburb so getting my sh-t together was more crucial than chasing tail. This year, I will turn 31. Some of us do want to make up on that lost time or get ours before we finally decide to settle down.

To answer the question, can a guy over the of 30 meet and sleep with lots of new women? The answer from my experiences and observations has been yes but it is somewhat different.

I notice that guys in their 30s who get laid a lot have a different vibe to them that I think men must adopt as they get older or they will struggle.

It is a disadvantage.

Once you are past the age of 25 or even 22, the idea of sleeping with lots of different women becomes frowned upon. The idea of using women for sex and only hooking up becomes frowned upon. Even in media, they are pushing young men and older women as sexual with the rise of "Cougar" porn while trying to take older men out of the picture. I don't want to waste a lot of time on the politics and war on men that the Red Pill does, I just want you to know that once you are over the age of 30, women are less likely to want to just sleep with you unless there is commitment.

Even look at the manosphere and other masculine spaces, LOTS of shaming towards men over 30 that just want to sleep around with random women. Expect the world to be against you.

Being cool and fit beats your career and money.

Women no longer care about money and your career anymore, they are financially set themselves. They are entering college in droves and taking up management roles left and right. The men winning in the dating market are usually fit and cool along with being set enough financially. They are more of a Hollywood Star type of 30 and not an office middle manager 30. Being cool and being fit beats the fancy white collar job title or the yearly salary. However, you do need some money in order to get there.

Living in a big city is a MUST.

The whole "get married and have kids by 30" is still making a huge push in middle America and small towns/small cities. You will suffer greatly and have women try to lock you down left and right. If you are not set on getting married and having kids, you must live in a major city like an NYC or a London. In NYC, it was not uncommon for me to run into guys well into 30s that partied, chased women, got laid, and had sex with a lot of different women. Big cities, and I mean WORLD CLASS CITIES, are the only viable living options for you as a man over the age of 30 if you want to sleep with lots of different women. Try doing it anywhere else and you will face major hurdles.

In these cities, you are likely to find a lot of women DTF and even a solid set of guy friends who support you sleeping with lots of different women.

You learn to stop wasting time.

This means not spending hours arguing on internet forums like you used to. I think that the reason The Black Pill and Incel communities are loaded with younger dudes is because they have all the time in the world to waste. When you get older, you come to terms with your mortality. No more time spent mentally masturbating, theorizing, or any of that nonsense. No more time spent on crappy friends that waste it. No more time to waste on crappy wingmen. No more time to waste reading nonsense black pill theory and debating it.

This is why so many incel movements are flooded with younger dudes, because younger dudes have all the time in the world to waste.

Most importantly, this means no time wasted chasing women that play games.

I have noticed that older guys zero down fast. They are not trying to push through rejections or trying to push through maybes or trying to get with girls that play too many games. Older guys are focusing on girls that are real options and investing all of their energy there.

Younger guys will try to get 100% of the girls and give their time to each one equally. Older guys focus on the 10 to 20% of women that are actual options and spend all of their time there, the other women may as well not exist. You learn to get over rejection fast and just give less f*cks.

You have to become obsessed with it and truly make it the top priority.

The city you live in.

The friends you make.

The content you consume.

The info you take in.

The lifestyle you live.

It has to all revolve around getting laid.

This means cutting ties with otherwise good friends who have an issue with you sleeping with lots of different women.

This means even cutting ties with family that are trying to get you to settle down.

It has to become such an obsession that you will value it over all else in life.

Some say what about money and fitness? Well, as I covered, those things matter a ton for getting laid. You need money to live in a world class city and you need to be in good health to go out and game constantly.
 

Millard Fillmore

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Once you are past the age of 25 or even 22, the idea of sleeping with lots of different women becomes frowned upon. The idea of using women for sex and only hooking up becomes frowned upon. Even in media, they are pushing young men and older women as sexual with the rise of "Cougar" porn while trying to take older men out of the picture. I don't want to waste a lot of time on the politics and war on men that the Red Pill does, I just want you to know that once you are over the age of 30, women are less likely to want to just sleep with you unless there is commitment.

Even look at the manosphere and other masculine spaces, LOTS of shaming towards men over 30 that just want to sleep around with random women. Expect the world to be against you.
Wrong mentality. You're operating in the frame of other people and their opinions. IDGAF who frowns on what or who shames what - it's irrelevant to me. What people say on the record and what women want in their loins are two different things & this has been shown throughout time. Bro people are going to say what they want no matter what so I go out and do what I want and disregard all that noise. A girl in her 20s will rationalize anything when she wants a guy.

I pulled more and better 20s after 30. It's 100% how you carry yourself and the value you give yourself and not caring what other people think. Doesn't mean be a sociopath. But stop playing by some mass media-made "rules." Obv the usual principles apply, stay fit, focus on success etc. Then go out and approach. Only hard if you make it hard, only weird if you make it weird.
 

CornbreadFed

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I’m 30 and I couldn’t imagine spending my free time chasing tail right now. I’d rather invest my energy on other things because I just do not see the return on investment in raising my lay count for the giggles. I have also never had phenomenal first time sex or one night stand sex because my dvck is special and needs time to adjust to new vaginas.
 

NealIRC

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35 and still a virgin.

Growing wrinkles below my eye, getting bald...
 

Pierce Manhammer

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As an older guy that got most of his notches later in life I agree wholeheartedly.

As you grow older, you will learn to value your time and energy more, which will help you focus on the right opportunities and cut out the distractions. If meeting and sleeping with lots of different women is your ultimate goal, then embracing this mindset and making the necessary changes to your life will set you on the path to success. Remember, it's about making it a priority, fully committing to it, and being willing to make sacrifices along the way.

There will be moments - several - when out of the rush of sex that you will pause and wonder “wtf am I doing?”, these fade fast as you have yet another rip-roaring session with an enthusiastic lover, hopefully one of many.

And you will also struggle with time prioritization - not everyone is built for this and there is nothing wrong with that, you don’t have to do this- it’s a choice. As with all choices there are ramifications the question is are they worth it.

This is left as an exercise for the reader.

How To Beast recently released a video about how the lives of men starts at 30 but in his video, he never really talked as much about game and outcomes. He never answered the question so many younger dudes want to know the answer to and one I get DM'd about a lot, can guys over the age of 30 sleep with lots of different women? The Red Pill never truly answered this question, it just released a phony chart based on loose bro-science which talked about how women would want to date you more in your 30s versus your 20s because of SMV.

When we look at someone like How To Beast, we also realize that he has a girlfriend.

A lot of guys asking me this are in their 20s, struggling with life, and cannot prioritize dating and meeting women. I understand, for a part of my 20s, I was living at home with parents and in a boring suburb so getting my sh-t together was more crucial than chasing tail. This year, I will turn 31. Some of us do want to make up on that lost time or get ours before we finally decide to settle down.

To answer the question, can a guy over the of 30 meet and sleep with lots of new women? The answer from my experiences and observations has been yes but it is somewhat different.

I notice that guys in their 30s who get laid a lot have a different vibe to them that I think men must adopt as they get older or they will struggle.

It is a disadvantage.

Once you are past the age of 25 or even 22, the idea of sleeping with lots of different women becomes frowned upon. The idea of using women for sex and only hooking up becomes frowned upon. Even in media, they are pushing young men and older women as sexual with the rise of "Cougar" porn while trying to take older men out of the picture. I don't want to waste a lot of time on the politics and war on men that the Red Pill does, I just want you to know that once you are over the age of 30, women are less likely to want to just sleep with you unless there is commitment.

Even look at the manosphere and other masculine spaces, LOTS of shaming towards men over 30 that just want to sleep around with random women. Expect the world to be against you.

Being cool and fit beats your career and money.

Women no longer care about money and your career anymore, they are financially set themselves. They are entering college in droves and taking up management roles left and right. The men winning in the dating market are usually fit and cool along with being set enough financially. They are more of a Hollywood Star type of 30 and not an office middle manager 30. Being cool and being fit beats the fancy white collar job title or the yearly salary. However, you do need some money in order to get there.

Living in a big city is a MUST.

The whole "get married and have kids by 30" is still making a huge push in middle America and small towns/small cities. You will suffer greatly and have women try to lock you down left and right. If you are not set on getting married and having kids, you must live in a major city like an NYC or a London. In NYC, it was not uncommon for me to run into guys well into 30s that partied, chased women, got laid, and had sex with a lot of different women. Big cities, and I mean WORLD CLASS CITIES, are the only viable living options for you as a man over the age of 30 if you want to sleep with lots of different women. Try doing it anywhere else and you will face major hurdles.

In these cities, you are likely to find a lot of women DTF and even a solid set of guy friends who support you sleeping with lots of different women.

You learn to stop wasting time.

This means not spending hours arguing on internet forums like you used to. I think that the reason The Black Pill and Incel communities are loaded with younger dudes is because they have all the time in the world to waste. When you get older, you come to terms with your mortality. No more time spent mentally masturbating, theorizing, or any of that nonsense. No more time spent on crappy friends that waste it. No more time to waste on crappy wingmen. No more time to waste reading nonsense black pill theory and debating it.

This is why so many incel movements are flooded with younger dudes, because younger dudes have all the time in the world to waste.

Most importantly, this means no time wasted chasing women that play games.

I have noticed that older guys zero down fast. They are not trying to push through rejections or trying to push through maybes or trying to get with girls that play too many games. Older guys are focusing on girls that are real options and investing all of their energy there.

Younger guys will try to get 100% of the girls and give their time to each one equally. Older guys focus on the 10 to 20% of women that are actual options and spend all of their time there, the other women may as well not exist. You learn to get over rejection fast and just give less f*cks.

You have to become obsessed with it and truly make it the top priority.

The city you live in.

The friends you make.

The content you consume.

The info you take in.

The lifestyle you live.

It has to all revolve around getting laid.

This means cutting ties with otherwise good friends who have an issue with you sleeping with lots of different women.

This means even cutting ties with family that are trying to get you to settle down.

It has to become such an obsession that you will value it over all else in life.

Some say what about money and fitness? Well, as I covered, those things matter a ton for getting laid. You need money to live in a world class city and you need to be in good health to go out and game constantly.
 

SW15

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I like the spirit of the post in general.

The question is asked "about getting a high lay count after 30". What is a high lay count after 30? What is someone's lay count on their 30th birthday? Someone needs to know the starting to point to analyze. @Epicwinguy started a thread recently about getting 10 notches between 30-39 without a degree or a salary above the median salary for wage earners in his country.


Now on to some quotes and reactions....

To answer the question, can a guy over the of 30 meet and sleep with lots of new women? The answer from my experiences and observations has been yes but it is somewhat different.

I notice that guys in their 30s who get laid a lot have a different vibe to them that I think men must adopt as they get older or they will struggle.
This is close to my point of view on it. A lot of stuff depends on a man's goals for his sex life in his 30s. Some 30 something guys are interested in long term relationships of some kind whereas others are just chasing notches. Men interested in relationships will have lower notch counts by design based on their goals so long as they are monogamous when they do get into relationships. For men operating in monogamous models, frequency of sex is a better measure of their success than total number of notches. The relationship-oriented men will also want to exit the relationships before things get quite bad.

It is a disadvantage.

Once you are past the age of 25 or even 22, the idea of sleeping with lots of different women becomes frowned upon. The idea of using women for sex and only hooking up becomes frowned upon. I just want you to know that once you are over the age of 30, women are less likely to want to just sleep with you unless there is commitment.

Even look at the manosphere and other masculine spaces, LOTS of shaming towards men over 30 that just want to sleep around with random women. Expect the world to be against you.
Most social circles are blue pill in ideology. I covered this to an extent when looking at my own social circle.

A man in his 30s can put up notches even in extended relationships with some level of commitment. He doesn't need to get married to get some poontang. I accept the premise that one night stands and casual sex can be more difficult but that doesn't mean a man needs to go super blue pill, get married, and have babies. The serial monogamist path is a viable one.


Being cool and fit beats your career and money.

Women no longer care about money and your career anymore, they are financially set themselves. They are entering college in droves and taking up management roles left and right. The men winning in the dating market are usually fit and cool along with being set enough financially. They are more of a Hollywood Star type of 30 and not an office middle manager 30. Being cool and being fit beats the fancy white collar job title or the yearly salary. However, you do need some money in order to get there.
Because women are getting bachelor's and advanced degrees and having white collar careers, it changes the type of guy they are seeking.

The market for higher level individual contributor and middle manager white collar type 30 and 40 something guys is diminishing. In the past, a man could have decent looks and a decent white collar salary and base game off of it. That can't happen now, unless the guy has a solid social circle that will feed him introductions now and he only does a few LTRs off of his social circle. The higher level individual contributor/middle manager guy (think salary levels $80,000 - $130,000 in the United States) doesn't have a viable niche off of his salary alone as an app swiper/social media DM'er/cold approacher, even in a bigger city anymore. If a middle manager type is to attract-seduce women at that salary level, he would need to be quite fit and cool. Even a 6-7 in looks with an undistinguished but pleasant personality isn't going to impress women outside of single moms needing a beta bucks. Even a lot of single moms have a bachelor's/advanced degree, a decent job, and get child support from an ex.

Agree that cool and fit beats money and will post more on this later.


Living in a big city is a MUST.

The whole "get married and have kids by 30" is still making a huge push in middle America and small towns/small cities. You will suffer greatly and have women try to lock you down left and right. If you are not set on getting married and having kids, you must live in a major city like an NYC or a London. In NYC, it was not uncommon for me to run into guys well into 30s that partied, chased women, got laid, and had sex with a lot of different women. Big cities, and I mean WORLD CLASS CITIES, are the only viable living options for you as a man over the age of 30 if you want to sleep with lots of different women. Try doing it anywhere else and you will face major hurdles.

In these cities, you are likely to find a lot of women DTF and even a solid set of guy friends who support you sleeping with lots of different women.
How many cities in the USA are feasible according to you?

According to me, a 30-40s single guy can do well with women either as a player or a serial monogamist type in one of the Top 20-25 most populated USA metros. It sounds like your definition is more narrow than mine within the USA.

You have to become obsessed with it and truly make it the top priority. The lifestyle you live. It has to all revolve around getting laid.
Agree
 

Jesse Pinkman

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As an older guy that got most of his notches later in life I agree wholeheartedly.

As you grow older, you will learn to value your time and energy more, which will help you focus on the right opportunities and cut out the distractions. If meeting and sleeping with lots of different women is your ultimate goal, then embracing this mindset and making the necessary changes to your life will set you on the path to success. Remember, it's about making it a priority, fully committing to it, and being willing to make sacrifices along the way.

There will be moments - several - when out of the rush of sex that you will pause and wonder “wtf am I doing?”, these fade fast as you have yet another rip-roaring session with an enthusiastic lover, hopefully one of many.

And you will also struggle with time prioritization - not everyone is built for this and there is nothing wrong with that, you don’t have to do this- it’s a choice. As with all choices there are ramifications the question is are they worth it.

This is left as an exercise for the reader.
I think that if raising a high notch count is something you want in your 30s, it has to become a priority. There has to be something inside of you whether it was being an incel in your youth or something major that gets you out of bed in the morning. What I can say is that literally all major life decisions are based on this in mind. I could easily take a job in a smaller city or a tier 2 city with a high income but I know that getting laid would become damn near impossible if I did that because of the perceptions in such places.

All I can say for any guy wanting to do it after 30, be serious. You cannot pull it off unless you live in a major world class city.
 

Jesse Pinkman

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How many cities in the USA are feasible according to you?
IMO, like maybe 5. Off the top of my head:

NYC
Chicago
Miami
LA (albeit the more man-heavy ratios but it is a big city)
Houston

Under certain circumstances, men can make cities like Boston, Atlanta, and Minneapolis work.

Overall though, the city has to have a good party scene, a lot of new transplants, and not as many Bible Thumping types. For example, Salt Lake City would be terrible because of the religious zealots and wackos that live there.
 

CornbreadFed

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IMO, like maybe 5. Off the top of my head:

NYC
Chicago
Miami
LA (albeit the more man-heavy ratios but it is a big city)
Houston

Under certain circumstances, men can make cities like Boston, Atlanta, and Minneapolis work.

Overall though, the city has to have a good party scene, a lot of new transplants, and not as many Bible Thumping types. For example, Salt Lake City would be terrible because of the religious zealots and wackos that live there.
What about Dallas?
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BadBoy89

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Much tougher for a man in his 30s and 40s than it is in his 20s.

In my 20s I cleaned up, you didn’t even have to try, the hot girls would just appear and you could get sex very easily. Once a woman hits30, then they have rules and regulations for having sex and if you don’t their requirements; i.e. height, they won’t give you a 2nd look.

I got way more action in my 20s than later in life. Much much harder when a man is older.
 

Jesse Pinkman

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Much tougher for a man in his 30s and 40s than it is in his 20s.

In my 20s I cleaned up, you didn’t even have to try, the hot girls would just appear and you could get sex very easily. Once a woman hits30, then they have rules and regulations for having sex and if you don’t their requirements; i.e. height, they won’t give you a 2nd look.

I got way more action in my 20s than later in life. Much much harder when a man is older.
What part of the world are you in?
 

The Duke

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Some of the over analysis and limiting beliefs crack me up. Too much mental masturbation keeps one from reaching the goal post. Sometimes you just gotta go for it. Stand on the gas and the hell with it. You either win or crash.

Let me share my story....

I married my high school girlfriend and divorced when I was 32. She was the only girl I had ever been with besides the 3some we had.

I was basically clueless. Had a lot to learn. In about a 10yr span I went thru close to 50girls and 5 of those years was spent in two different relationships.

And @Jesse Pinkman I did all of this in the big city of Dallas.

I had a good job in corporate engineering, made good money, nice house, nice cars, a hobby that attracts women, and an extroverted personality that was working all the dating sites and going out 2-3nites a week. I still went to the gym 3 days a week. There wasn't much time for anything else. I've always been a "hunter" with high energy. Once I got things figured out I rarely ever got turned down for a 2nd date. Lots of first nite lays. All types of girls.

I also had two buddies that were doing the same thing I was. We even ran thru some of the same girls.

I finally reached a point that I got tired of sharing my life with strangers that would be gone in 2-3months. It's a shallow lifestyle, but it's a damn good time too. I've got so many crazy stories.
I didn't need any more trophies. I have proven to myself that I was capable.

So I don't want to hear anyone saying it's unlikely or can't be done. It got so easy it became predictable. My ability to connect to women is what made it all possible. Always had plenty of confidence and get what I want. Never been a Chad, no big muscles, bald head, didn't use any gimmicks, never faked it, always stayed true to myself. And most all of them were top 20% girls as far as looks go. Rejection never bothered me, and I don't get hung up on what people think of me.
 
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HaleyBaron

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Can guys over 30 get a high lay count?
Yes. End thread.
 

BadBoy89

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What part of the world are you in?
West.

In my 20s, I went out with a Maxim Cover Model and a Chinese Actress.

In my 30s, couldn't get divorced women to call me back.

I’m in my 40s, I can get girls in late 20s but it’s transactional. I look decent but not 6’1.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I've fvcked about 50 women in the last 5-6 years in my late 30s to mid 40s. About 3 years total I had an exclusive GF twice so that means 48 women or so in 2-3 years of having plate rotations.

Didn't see anyone frowning and frankly most people don't really care. Maybe if I brought different ones to get togethers with friends or families but I only did that with the 2 GFs, plates don't get to meet my friends or hang out with them.

Pretty much don't agree with very much of this post. This sounds like some stuff that sounds great in theory but doesn't really play out in real life.

With OLD it's very easy to get high lay counts these days as long as you are able to get the women out on dates.
 
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jaymbrs

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West.

In my 20s, I went out with a Maxim Cover Model and a Chinese Actress.

In my 30s, couldn't get divorced women to call me back.

I’m in my 40s, I can get girls in late 20s but it’s transactional. I look decent but not 6’1.
2 thoughts come to mind: First is you're probably not frequenting the same type of places you did when you were in your twenties. Why would you? Second, during your 30s you were probably looking for women closer to your age, which as you pointed out, those women have all kinds of rules and regulations.
I'm experiencing similar and I blame most of it to the fact that I don't hit the clubs/bars like I used to. I prefer dives or sports bars. I also stay in way more often. It just is what it is and I've come to terms with it.
 
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