Can anyone tell me where my game is breaking down and why?

squirrels

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OK here's the situation...I'm doing merely "OK" with women. I can honestly go into a bar and chat up a girl often kissing/mild making out by the end of the night. I can pull a phone number with relative ease. I've NEVER gotten a fake number.

But when I call these girls, it ALWAYS seems like they're not really interested in seeing me again. It's either no answer, or excuses, or broken dates, or promising to call and never calling.

Why do they give me the number?

It's happened with so many girls that I can't honestly believe that they're ALL "flakes." I mean, these girls want it as bad as I do, and have enough interest to kino/kiss me and give me their numbers...where am I losing it?

I know I should just NEXT and move on, but I'm getting tired of NEXTing...it's happening with too many women, and I'm not learning anything to help my game. I'm trying to figure out where the wall is that I keep hitting.

Any thoughts?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Your sarging skills sound as if they are high but in your pick ups, do you offer any challenge to the women? What do you do to hold their interest?

You may be too easy for them. They get their rocks off with you in a quick fantasy but after a few hours or a couple of days after, they decide that you aren't LTR material. Its like when they buy those romance novels and get a quick fix. They enjoy it the first time through but they don't want read it again.

So your job is to become that epic novel that they want to reread again and again. Ease back and don't give them all of the goods at once. Have them work for it (the challenge). Just show them enough to keep them interested.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Your sarging skills sound as if they are high but in your pick ups, do you offer any challenge to the women? What do you do to hold their interest?

You may be too easy for them. They get their rocks off with you in a quick fantasy but after a few hours or a couple of days after, they decide that you aren't LTR material. Its like when they buy those romance novels and get a quick fix. They enjoy it the first time through but they don't want read it again.

So your job is to become that epic novel that they want to reread again and again. Ease back and don't give them all of the goods at once. Have them work for it (the challenge). Just show them enough to keep them interested.
See, here's the deal...most of the time, I don't actively go introduce myself to women. Lots of times, we make eye contact and she comes up to me.

I'm not sure what you mean by "sarging"...I don't try to pull too many tactics...don't really neg-hit unless I see a good opportunity, same with "****y-Funny" and mirroring and all that crap. I just talk about stuff with her, use kino, work up to any kind of serious physical contact.

I don't tell much about myself. The thing I don't understand is what you mean by "goods."

What would be an example of some of YOUR "goods" for instance? I'm not sure what you mean. And how is giving up your "goods" to keep her around any different than buying her drinks or doing her favors, or other forms of supplication?
 

drixsa

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dont just make out in the club. make it an ONS or just get the #. nothin is really gained just from makin out.

maybe you spend too much time talking to one girl at a time

talk to many girls

go to different places to meet woman

the clubs are aight but know that many just wanna have fun and maybe an ONS. its the wrong place to go to establish a good relationship

seems like pickin up girls for u is all work and no play

if it isnt fun do somethin else
 

uniassign

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I had the same sticking point before, and it took me a while to work out why.

Girls must feel like they have EARNT you. They must feel that they are special and you are not just trying to sleep with them. ie: they want to think that you like them as a person and not replaceable.

This means that when you are out getting numbers, you have to QUALIFY them. I mean really qualify them. The things I look for in a girl are:

1. fiestiness;
2. fun;
3. spontaneous;
4. wit.

And that's what I do when I am out getting numbers. I (sometimes) blantantly ask if the girl is adventurous, and ask for SPECIFIC example of their definition of adventurousness. I ask whether they enjoy art, enjoy cooking. This is because that's what I enjoy and if a chick doesn't like that, then there is no point.

You must tease. there is no point in just you attracting, she must do some work in attracting you. This part of the interaction means that SHE must try and pick YOU up. Allow her to show her values.

Most girls just want to make out in bars, and don't want to see you again, because after making out with you, the chick associated you with their own sl*tty behaviour.

Set up a plan before you number close the chick. Arrange an activity to do, and then go and talk about something else. Then when you are about to leave, ask if she wants to do XXX. ONLY THEN get her number. When you call her, it is not a matter of asking her to do something, but SETTING it up.

When you are on the phone, have some interesting story to tell her. Don't just ask her a whole bunch of questions. Make her LAUGH. Build comfort on the phone as this shows you are the same person as you were when you meet her.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Pimp-sicle

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You remind alot of my buddy. He charges the bar scen 4-5x a week. He sits back and girl after girl walks up to him and talk to him. He'll usually end up hooking up (making out etc) at the bar or going back to their house. He'll get the # and then tell me how hot she is and how much he likes her. However when he calls to set up something they'll either say yes and flake or not answer or call back. He calls me and asks me why and I tell him the same thing every time.


BE A CHALLENGE!! Girls at bars, clubs are shallow and will hook up with the best looking guy, but if that guy can't HOOK HER with more than his looks, she'll lose interest like a bad movie.

Teasing was mentioned above and I think that's a perfect answer. Be more of a tease. For example when you know she's on your nutz and she wants you to kiss her, move in and at the last second turn your face away and look her deep in her eyes and smile. Do this a few times and advance very SLOWLY!! You won't realize how powerful these techniques are. Think about it for a second. 99% of the guys out there, especially at bars and clubs will jump all over the chick once he has a chance. But your being different your taking the bait but showing her, your not sure if she's worthy of your love. Its golden!!! I wouldn't be suprised if you try this a few times and tell us how you had 2-3 ONS's in a few weeks.


It works like magic.



PIMP
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by squirrels
What would be an example of some of YOUR "goods" for instance? I'm not sure what you mean. And how is giving up your "goods" to keep her around any different than buying her drinks or doing her favors, or other forms of supplication?
The new posts have all concluded the same thing, challenge. Women tend to appreciate things that they have to work for more than things given to them. This is the reason why nice guys finish last.

In your case, you are too easy for them. If you want more LTRs, you should focus less on how you can fill their immediate needs to the reasons why they should hang around. What are your long term character traits that would be of interest to women?

As for 'sarging,' it is basically your pick up skills. They seem in tact but again, it looks as if you are racing to the finish line as a sprinter and women feel that the race is over. Adjust to the mindset of a marathon runner and pace yourself. Don't go all out at once and take time to enjoy the game.
 

Bungo Pony

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You must tease.
uniassign hit the nail on the head. ****y/funny is extremely useful when doing the teasing. Saying things like "You're only doing that because I'm so irrisitably sexy" helps create the challenge. You're basically portraying the message to her "I can get any woman I want, so you'd better impress me!". When you say things like this, you're creating value in yourself, and women will see it. They'll want to be the winner.

Another thing, if you haven't started doing it yet, call a new girl 24-48 hours after meeting her. A lot of peopl on here will be against this because of the whole "being a challenge" thing, but it actually keeps them interested. Set up a first date quickly after you meet a woman. After the first date is over, you can pull back a bit and she'll begin to persue you.
 

intel200

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Dude,

No offense but trying to LTR some bar slut? Come on! I can see wanting to go out for fun, but why trip if you cant see her consistently. It aint you man, its where you are finding these chics. Try a grocery or book store or the gas station....
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

squirrels

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Originally posted by intel200
Dude,

No offense but trying to LTR some bar slut? Come on! I can see wanting to go out for fun, but why trip if you cant see her consistently. It aint you man, its where you are finding these chics. Try a grocery or book store or the gas station....
I'm lost as to where you got the impression that I was trying to LTR this chick...I was trying to set up a date or two that could lead to a f**k. LTR was the furthest thing from my mind.

The problem is I didn't even get the chance...got flaked on as soon as I called.
 

Bud Wiser

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You may be too earnest in your approaches at the bars.

As mentioned before, go more ****y+funny (emphasize funny), be more of a challenge, don't make out with them at the bar (save it for later -- "challenge," remember?) and when you get the number be a little indefinite by saying something like "maybe we'll talk soon." (Leaves the strong impression that you're qualifying them.

Then, when you call, you must maintain the same attitude as at the bar -- funny, ****y, fun, teasing, etc. Keep it short, set up the date and get out of there by ending the call before she does.
 

intel200

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My bad dude. I guess these chics are just looking for the one night thing. Maybe more infor on the ONS. I think there has been a lot of good advice for your situation in this thread...
 

bugsquish

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What the guys said is true. But regardless of the challenge issue, the first call is a pretty big test. You got to be more C/F, more playful, more confident cuz you are relying on your voice and words alone. The test is whether or not you can get/keep her interest in those vital seconds.

I think you have already learned this lesson (hence your "Who You Are" VS "What You Want" thread). You said this: "I would've busted on her for watching some goofy reality TV instead of talking to me on the phone.". That seems pretty damn perfect to me. Even if she wanted to get off the phone, you could have kept her talking and piqued her interest by getting her laughing. You can build a rapport with someone even while they are trying to put the phone down. I work in telesales, can you tell? :)

My point is, you are more interesting than that damn TV show, she just never had a chance to find out.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by squirrels
...
The problem is I didn't even get the chance...got flaked on as soon as I called.
Here's a question, when you are talking with these women, are you letting them know that you have things in common? Things that she could think about once she gets home.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Here's a question, when you are talking with these women, are you letting them know that you have things in common? Things that she could think about once she gets home.
I wasn't aware I had ANYTHING in common with them, besides...well...you know. ;) :D
 

Bud Wiser

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Originally posted by squirrels
I wasn't aware I had ANYTHING in common with them, besides...well...you know. ;) :D
Then listen more carefully next time you speak with them and find something!
 

Clint Eastwood

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These guys are giving a lot of really great advice. Focus on having fun and don't have a set outcome in mind. Remember - zero expectations.

It sounds like you're getting off to a good start. I usually have good rapport with a chick in a bar like this, and will often invite them to go with me to another bar, or to get something to eat. If they go, they have high IL, and I'm sure I'll get a ONS. That's what I've been doing the past few weeks, and it works. Give it a try and let us know what happens. I'll pay more attention to what I do next time and let you know how I go from starting a convo to closing the deal. Keep it up squirrels.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by squirrels
I wasn't aware I had ANYTHING in common with them, besides...well...you know. ;) :D
I'm talking about stuff other than TAB A fitting into SLOT B !!!! :p
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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