can a girl lose interest in you this quick?

[Robert28]

I have gone out with this girl twice, each time we had alot of fun, blah, blah, blah. I asked her if she wanted to go to the fair on Monday(I asked her this6 days ago). we'd planned on it, set it in stone. I get a text from her today saying she had alot more stuff to do on Monday then she realized and asked if we could do it Tuesday or Wednesday. I told her politelly that I couldn't because I had plans Tuesday and Wednesday night. She acts all depressed all of a sudden that I had plans on two days that she took for granted would be availible to her I guess. So now she is like well "forget it, it's not going to work" and I replied back "what's not going to work? going to the fair?" and she replies "no, us.".lol just like that her "interest" vanished simply because I had sh!t to do tuesday and wednesday, but yet I was supposed to accept her cancelling on Monday even though that's the day we both agreed on almost a week ago. you ever had a girl act so interested in you only to have it magically dissapear in an instant over trivial bullsh!t?

my question is why can women be so "busy" but a guy that's busy is a bad thing? what is it that women have going on so that we men don't that keeps them busy bee's? keep in mind that i'm in grad school and own my own business. to me that would define "busy", yet I make time to do stuff I want all the time.

 

[garruk]

to answer your question... yes a girl can lose interest in an instant, especially if they've met soemone else.


in your specific case, im wondering if theres something youve forgotten to mention because her actions are very inconsistent. she was inaterested or she wouldnt have given the counter offer of tues/wed. imo you should have offered another day like thurs or something instead of just saying you couldnt make it on those 2 days.

 

[zekko]

My mother rarely talked to me about the mating game, but I'll never forget one thing she said to me:

"Women are fickle".

That was quite a shock to me at the time since she had stayed with my father her entire life. But she had some insight into it, somehow.

 

[Kenny Powers]

had this one girl i met at a bar, she was sober and super in to me. I get her number tell her my last name and later that night she facebooks me. Next week she comes to a small party my friends and i had. She doesn't know anyone except the two girls she came with.

We talk for a bit and then she says she is going to a bar and asks if i can meet her there later. I say once the party dies down in 30 minutes i will head over. She texts me 30-40 min later saying her friend is upset over some boy and they are going home. I ask if she is available later, but don't get a response. Text her next day saying sry we couldn't hang out at my party more and that i hope she had a good time. No response

Next week hit her up about going to a bar, no response. Call her, she hangs up after two rings (i could here background noise right before). Send her a message on facebook 2 days later asking what happened and that i'm confused. No response.

I'm pissed and super confused, but just chalk it up to another incidence of h0es being h0es. Women are crazy, weird and emotional. It absolutely sucks, but get used to it. I'm guessing she probably met a dude she liked more and just blew me off.

I've met so many girls at bars and stuff who are super into me, then a few days later nothing. Boys will be boys and h0es will be h0es. Such is life. Don't waste time trying to figure this behavior out.

 

[gaspipe]

had this one girl i met at a bar, she was sober and super in to me. I get her number tell her my last name and later that night she facebooks me. Next week she comes to a small party my friends and i had. She doesn't know anyone except the two girls she came with.

We talk for a bit and then she says she is going to a bar and asks if i can meet her there later. I say once the party dies down in 30 minutes i will head over. She texts me 30-40 min later saying her friend is upset over some boy and they are going home. I ask if she is available later, but don't get a response. Text her next day saying sry we couldn't hang out at my party more and that i hope she had a good time. No response

Next week hit her up about going to a bar, no response. Call her, she hangs up after two rings (i could here background noise right before). Send her a message on facebook 2 days later asking what happened and that i'm confused. No response.

I'm pissed and super confused, but just chalk it up to another incidence of h0es being h0es. Women are crazy, weird and emotional. It absolutely sucks, but get used to it. I'm guessing she probably met a dude she liked more and just blew me off.

I've met so many girls at bars and stuff who are super into me, then a few days later nothing. Boys will be boys and h0es will be h0es. Such is life. Don't waste time trying to figure this behavior out.

She lost interest the moment she told you to show up at the bar and you happily obliged. You no longer became a challenge and therefore, she tossed you like a toy she got bored with. thats just the way women are. They drop you like a hot potato once you easily make yourself available.

Had you said "sorry someother time", her interest in you would have spiked and you probably would have been hitting her up next time around.

The way I see it with club women is you either try to escalate and get a ONS if shes the type or you get her digits and leave while her IL is high thereby leaving her wanting more.

 

[PapiChulo]

a) She was probably losing interest weeks ago and finally arrived at the conclusion.

b) There are other men


c) all of the above.

It is one of those irrational decisions, sort of like buyer's remorse. Men usually think rationally.... we make decisions....and women,well, they just take the shortcut. lol I dont think you did nothing wrong there at all.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Telling her you were busy Tues and Wed was the RIGHT move. Her reaction was either an attempt to mask her interest level or just her way of saying she wasn't interested. Being too busy to see a girl will NOT lower her interest like that.

The correct response? Say nothing and wait for her to contact you again. She likely will; girls can not STAND a lack of closure.

 

[bigneil]

"Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight."

McCartney 1965

 

[st_99]

Can women lose interest that quick? yes and no. Its not that
different than if you had options. You'd forget about girls also.

if yes, they weren't THAT interested to begin with. This does't always
mean its about you, it may be you didnt get a chance to show what
a great guy you are because of logistical reasons, or maybe she is still hung up on someone else, or
maybe she is dating multiple guys and you're not at the top..

no is when you offer something she is looking for AND don't act
AFCish. in this case, no, she will not lose interest quickly, you'll
be on her mind even if she is acting 'funny'.

 

[Jaylan]

She lost interest the moment she told you to show up at the bar and you happily obliged. You no longer became a challenge and therefore, she tossed you like a toy she got bored with. thats just the way women are. They drop you like a hot potato once you easily make yourself available.

Had you said "sorry someother time", her interest in you would have spiked and you probably would have been hitting her up next time around.

The way I see it with club women is you either try to escalate and get a ONS if shes the type or you get her digits and leave while her IL is high thereby leaving her wanting more.

This just sounds like overthinking. Guys can we stop with some of the BS. Sometimes people just decide to go after someone else and/or they werent that into you to begin with. It had nothing to do with OP being a challenge in this case because its extremely early on in him knowing the girl.

Its not like he was an "always there yes man" to the girl. Sheesh. Saying "ill see you later after im done here" is no biggie. He was enjoying his night where he was. He didnt run to leave right away and was doing his own thing. OP, you did nothing wrong, she just wasnt that into you.

a) She was probably losing interest weeks ago and finally arrived at the conclusion.

b) There are other men


c) all of the above.

It is one of those irrational decisions, sort of like buyer's remorse. Men usually think rationally.... we make decisions....and women,well, they just take the shortcut. lol I dont think you did nothing wrong there at all.

Lets stop pretending men are super rational and women never are. Some people are and some people are not. Regardless of gender. I mean come on, most dudes think with their d!ck and let women control everything in the mating game. Is that rational?

Be realistic here. Losing interest is not an irrational decision. She may have decided to go with an initial feeling that she wasnt that into him. And other guys may be involved as well.

But to say that just because she chose not to date him, that it makes her irrational....thats just a childish conclusion to come up with. Its a "cry moar" attitude. Some people like you and some people dont. Get over it guys and keep trucking.

 

[LE6END]

This just sounds like overthinking. Guys can we stop with some of the BS. Sometimes people just decide to go after someone else and/or they werent that into you to begin with. It had nothing to do with OP being a challenge in this case because its extremely early on in him knowing the girl.

Its not like he was an "always there yes man" to the girl. Sheesh. Saying "ill see you later after im done here" is no biggie. He was enjoying his night where he was. He didnt run to leave right away and was doing his own thing. OP, you did nothing wrong, she just wasnt that into you.
Lets stop pretending men are super rational and women never are. Some people are and some people are not. Regardless of gender. I mean come on, most dudes think with their d!ck and let women control everything in the mating game. Is that rational?

Be realistic here. Losing interest is not an irrational decision. She may have decided to go with an initial feeling that she wasnt that into him. And other guys may be involved as well.

But to say that just because she chose not to date him, that it makes her irrational....thats just a childish conclusion to come up with. Its a "cry moar" attitude. Some people like you and some people dont. Get over it guys and keep trucking.

Agreed. For the life of me, I cant discover the source of evidence that says males are any more rational than the opposite sex or any less emotional.

Alot of overthinking is what usually destroys you from the inside out, Robert. I live by the saying, "The reason is irrelevant."

I do not know if your girl lost interest or not, but why care?

For what its worth, I think she was just frustrated at your unavailability (a good thing), and will come back around, in time..

 

[irocknike23]

to answer your question... yes a girl can lose interest in an instant, especially if they've met soemone else.

This.

Works both ways, guys can loose interest in a girl if they meet someone else as well.

 

[PapiChulo]

My interest level never disappears magically by itself, nor do I stop liking people without a due reason. There is always the culprit to it! I suppose women just need a convenient excuse to change their mind out of the blue, how is that not irrational?

 

[DonGorgon]

interest level can be gone in seconds.. why? cause women have 10000000000 other men they are also interested in

 

[nismo-4]

Of course they can. Introduce another man who's more interesting or better than you. Or not be better than the guy she's with. You may be the guy to boost her ego for the time being. Who the f**k cares? She's just not that into you now.

What the f**k to do? Keep on trucking. Spin more plates, make more money, and make yourself a higher value man. Women have lots of options, so you need to make yourself a better man, which is what you should be doing anyway. That's my ruling.

Case closed.

 

[bigneil]

To see what it's like, go to a strip club and watch how you lose interest in one girl when a hotter girl smiles at you.

 

[thewickedm]

my question is why can women be so "busy" but a guy that's busy is a bad thing? what is it that women have going on so that we men don't that keeps them busy bee's? keep in mind that i'm in grad school and own my own business. to me that would define "busy", yet I make time to do stuff I want all the time.

There is nothing wrong with being a busy man. Imo, her saying its not going to work was a **** test. You flunked her test by asking her what wasn't going to work. My guess is she was trying to get a reaction out of you and you gave it so she lost interest and confirmed that you didnt make the cut.

 

[Jaylan]

*buzzer sounds* ^ Wrong.

She was not **** testing him and I personally dont buy into the whole idea of **** tests. Pick Up is filled with WAY too much overthinking. People should check out this thread by Amazing. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185662 He hits the nail on the head.

Look OP, all that happened is this:

a) either the chick was not that into you to begin with a finally made a decision.

or

b) shes a tad insecure and takes your lack of availability for that one hang out as a sign of you being uninterested in her. Hence she tried to axe you before you axed her. Just give it time, and if she doesnt come around, assume it was scenario A and move on.

I dont get what guys over analyze the mating game this much. Let me tell you this much, if a girl likes you, she is not trying to test you or do anything to screw it up. When a girl likes you, she makes it as easy as possible for you to get with her.

All this over-thinking ends up making guys step on themselves. Which is funny, because for all of the analyzing that goes into figuring out a chicks though PUA, dudes miss the obvious yet subtle cues that women give to men they like. Then she bails cus she felt he didnt want her. Remember most chicks arent assertive and are deathly afraid of rejection, hence they bail if you miss their cues. Silly but true.

Just take it easy. You have to stop thinking so much and not invest in outcomes to get things to work.

Trust me.

 

[PapiChulo]

There is always another better, more interesting sausage to meet. And the woman's interest fluctuates every day depending on her estrogen levels....and the hottness of the sausages she meets. Lol.

 

[perseverance]

For what its worth, I think she was just frustrated at your unavailability (a good thing), and will come back around, in time..

That's her first strike in my opinion. She acted like an immature little girl and I don't want an immature little girl. I want a woman who behaves like one, not some stuck up little girl who is going to throw her toys out of the pram everytime she doesn't get her own way. If she behaved like that again somewhere down the line I'd kick her out of my life.

interest level can be gone in seconds.. why? cause women have 10000000000 other men they are also interested in

Interest levels peaks and troughs this is undisputable, however to assume that every single woman on the planet has multiple options is ridiculous. Go onto some of those woman dating advice forums and see how bitter some women are because of the lack of male attention they have in their lives.

The problem with men is that they tend to chase the same type of women, the low quality women who thanks to comestics and surgery are able to go from being average looking to being considered super hot because they resemble a Playboy Bunny or men chase women with Daddy Issues or Little Princess syndrome. You have 80% of men chasing the same 20% of women, so no wonder these women have a zillion options.