Can a girl and a guy be legitimately best friends?

[Anonymous56]

My question is....can a girl and a guy be legitimately best friends without any romantic interest? The reason I ask is because I am really really being unecessarily jealous over the fact that my girlfriend's best friend is a guy who she has known since she was 12. She said she is like a brother to him.

He actually moved away but was in town this week. She went out to see him last night and for some reason It really made me insecure even though I definately shouldn't be.

 

[rgeere]

It would be a cold day in hell before she ever screws that guy. why are you being insecure again?

Or she could be lying to you, or.....

Maybe the guy has improved his game and will figure out an opportunity.

Just don't worry about it, that's bad behaviour.

 

[diablo]

I'd say it's nothing to worry about. Remember how everyone always talks about how horrible it is to be in the "friend zone" with a girl, and how there is little to no chance of ever becoming more than that once you're placed in there? Well he's so far into that territory it's not even funny... maybe there's romantic interest on his part, but after so many years of being friends, she's not going to move it up a level - especially when she already is seeing someone. It's normal to be a little suspicious, but in this case it's a nonissue.

 

[Anonymous56]

Ok thanks...one of my problems growing up has always been completely useless anxiety that is so irrational its not even funny. I really really like this girl so some negative thoughts keep creeping into my head. You're totally right though....

thanks for posting

 

[JT47319]

Or he could be a fyck buddy on the side whenever she's single or horny or wants to do a revenge fyck.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by [T]he ishop
I'd say it's nothing to worry about. Remember how everyone always talks about how horrible it is to be in the "friend zone" with a girl, and how there is little to no chance of ever becoming more than that once you're placed in there? Well he's so far into that territory it's not even funny... maybe there's romantic interest on his part, but after so many years of being friends, she's not going to move it up a level - especially when she already is seeing someone. It's normal to be a little suspicious, but in this case it's a nonissue.

Spot on. Good advice!

 

[rjherche]

^ Agreed.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Anonymous56
My question is....can a girl and a guy be legitimately best friends without any romantic interest?

Sure they can. Some of my closest friends are female. I don't try to be anything more than their friend, I don't try to "game" them or anything, because I have no romantic interest. You don't need to be an AFC male to have legit female friends, and not every guy games every female they talk to.

 

[becker]

Depends on how hot your girl is. If she's smokin', you can bet your a$$ that if the opportunity ever came up, that guy would jump on it faster than lightning. The girl, however, is less likely to do that, but as I said, their history will tell you most of it.

I've been on both sides before. I've been the BF with the girl who has a close guy "friend" and there was supposedly nothing going on. But at the same time, my girl was not some super-hot model to the point where any guy would jump on her. This was my very first GF, so I was pretty much getting started with the whole relationship thing, so I didn't really care anyways. I sort of knew we wouldn't last super long, it was just for experience. Anyways, back then I was not too comfortable with this guy around, and it led to some disputes. No longer is that sort of thing happening, but you get smarter with age.

On the flip side, I've also been the guy who the girl is friends with, and the jealous BF gets all ticked about. This is more fun heh heh. Well, anyways, I'd say in general, there is not a lot to worry about, so long as the guy respects the boundaries. If he's playing your girl and actually pulling moves on her, then maybe start worrying a bit. The reason for this is that it may come down to the point where the guy actually makes the girl see what she's missing out on and she'll start re-assessing your relationship with her and start comparing the two. That will make your life more difficult because you'll be thrown into the inevitable position of having to either step up to the challenge and give her a reason to stay with you, or else risk losing her. I know you don't want to hear this, but it's the truth.

I know a girl now who I am STRICTLY friends with. There was never any attraction between us, and if anything, it was her attracted to me. She has a BF and they've been together for like 5 months. She tells me how she met this other guy who's everything she wants, and she's just so confused as to whether she should stay with the BF.

The worst part for the BF is that she's actually to the point where she's finding reasons to justify NOT staying with him. That's rough. I'm sort of acting as the emotional tampon, which is easy because I'm not interested in this girl at all. It's quite an eye-opening experience, and goes to show you that don't believe this friendzone stuff is going to be some absolute BUFFER to her getting with the guy. Anyone who thinks that anything is absolute in this case had better take their blinders off. Relationships are ever-changing creatures. You have to always stay on your toes, that's why you need to make sure you can spend the time before you get into one.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Originally posted by Anonymous56
My question is....can a girl and a guy be legitimately best friends without any romantic interest?

No, its illegal in most countries.


Seriously speaking one of my closest friends is a girl. I've known her since I could talk. As long as the guy/girl are mature, thing'll be fine.

 

[dietzcoi]

I do not beleive in it, but that is my take.

Just think about her describing your sex life to another guy, who will then use the chance to cut you down in front of her.

If you don't think that will happen, you are niaive.

Dietzcoi

 

[DJ Alejandro]

yes, i personally have a lot of these girl bestfriends and they've and still are giving me all the social proof i need as well as the hugs and whenever i get lonely type of dates. i love 'em all.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Sure they can. Some of my closest friends are female. I don't try to be anything more than their friend, I don't try to "game" them or anything, because I have no romantic interest. You don't need to be an AFC male to have legit female friends, and not every guy games every female they talk to.

AMEN!

A lot of guys here associate male and female friendship as AFC behavior and "stuff that AFC's do", when this is simply not the case. I know plenty of hot women whom I would never date, but would definitely be friends with. Not everything is about sex appeal, guys. Yes, we all know a hot woman when we see one, but that doesn't guarantee that the intentions of every single guy that ever gets to know her will be based around sex or hooking up. I know plenty of hot women who just arent' my type. They're not bad people at all, but they're just not my type.

No matter how good looking some girls may be, some guys are only going to be interested in being just friends with them.

Some people here tend to look at the "friend zone" as something unfortunate, harmful, and something that should be prevented. However, the only time that this "friend zone" is actually a bad thing is if the woman forces you into this zone against your will (usually, by LJBF'ing you). Therefore, the two of you are not REALLY friends because YOUR wants and needs for the relationship the two of you have are DIFFERENT from HERS. The only time two people can truly be friends is if BOTH people are happy with that kind of relationship.

 

[becker]

Craig, I wanted to add to that and say that the problem will likely arise only when one person LJBF's the other because they weren't interested in them. This means that the person doing the LJBF-ing will be in the position of power unless the other person just totally falls out of feelings for the other. The problem with this whole arrangement is that to me, one of the more interesting parts about male-female "friendships" is that there might be that mystery of whether you two will ever get together. Once that whole mystery is dispelled by the LJBF thing, it becomes a bit boring.

I can see, however, if the person doing the LJBF-ing is actually attracted to the other, but just doesn't want to get into a relationship right now. This means that the potential is still there somewhere down the line, although it will be impossible to know when.

 

[JohnJones]

It can be completely fine, it just depends on the girl.

If she has a history of being involved with someone, finding out that its not the perfect situation she was expecting and then starts enjoying the attention of other people, and acting on it, then you have an issue.

 

[xenopus]

Here a scenario for you....

My ex-girlfriend has this good guy friend who gives her missed calls virtually everyday. Missed calls as in just one or two rings and that's it. No talking at all (at least I never heard them talking)

Naturally, I asked her about this and she tells me they're only good friends, and nothing else. It did make me irritated on numerous occasions and ask her questions, because these missed calls happen quite often when I'm with her.

So, she went back to Spain for holidays (she's Spanish) and I asked her if she met up with this good guy friend of hers. They live in the same town. She told me no . I found this really strange - for a guy friend to be giving her missed calls everyday and not meeting up for a round of coffee or something. Perhaps they did; she didn't tell me this because she didn't want me to get worried or paranoid- god knows.

I did have suspicions that she may well be cheating on me. But I tried to look on the positive side- that she was phoning me almost everyday, telling me that she loved me, communicating online almost everyday etc.

But you just never know women, ....she could well be having someone on the side.


What do you guys make of this?


Xenopus

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by JT47319
Or he could be a fyck buddy on the side whenever she's single or horny or wants to do a revenge fyck.

LOL, dude says this right after he admits of being paranoid



bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

 

[Meffid Man]

whoa..

Man,

I must be the only dude whose completely on the other side of the spectrum. Here's my story...

Around 2 years ago, I was with this girl for a little bit. But she also had the infamous "best guy friend". The ex's mom and I joked around they always argued like a married couple. He was cool and I'm wasn't the jealous type. He was super AFC and I was at the time also, so it was perfect match...lol. We actually became friends and started hanging with each other. Well, the girl and I broke up (of course due to my AFC actions).

Flash forward about 8 months. I no longer make contact with any of the ex-gf friends (even the infamous "best guy friend"). Then a friend of mine calls. This friend still keeps in contact with this girl friend of the ex.

Friend: Guess what?
Me: ???

 

[Meffid Man]

whoa..

Man,

I must be the only dude whose completely on the other side of the spectrum. Here's my story...

Around 2 years ago, I was with this girl for a little bit. But she also had the infamous "best guy friend". The ex's mom and I joked around they always argued like a married couple. He was cool and I'm wasn't the jealous type. He was super AFC and I was at the time also, so it was perfect match...lol. We actually became friends and started hanging with each other. The girl tells me he's like a brother, which seemed true everytime i saw them together. Well, the girl and I broke up (of course due to my AFC actions).

Flash forward about 8 months. I no longer make contact with any of the ex-gf friends (even the infamous "best guy friend"). Then a friend of mine calls. This friend still keeps in contact with this girl friend of the ex.

Friend: Guess what?
Meff: ???
Friend: You know that one ex of yours. Guess whose she with?
Meff: What ex???
Friend: The one with the guy friend.
Meff: Ok???
Friend: She's with that guy friend now.
Meff: lol...That's good. I'm happy for them.

What else could I really say. I figured they would hook up eventually, because if I recall correctly, they were both LSE. So the match is cool, but yea..I guess the opposite can happen sometimes too.

Meffid

 

[Meffid Man]

crap

Double post...my bad guys.

Meff