I think the not seeing it as revenge is the best way to put it -- resign yourself to the fact that no revenge may be possible. A few of the guys who suggested that you will regain her interest, or make her sorry, by playing it cool, struck me as perhaps overly optimistic.
The reason for being cool, instead, is simply that it's your least-worst option.
Let's say you call her out. You're presumably doing that to "teach her a lesson" and thereby alter her behavior in the future.
The "lesson" could be one of only two general principles, as far as I see it.
First, you could be trying to persuade her that her flake behavior is wrong because it is against her self-interest and will eventually hurt her, take away some option she would have if she behaved properly, or otherwise impede her attainment of her goals. Well, unfortunately, as the market values things, her experience has already told her this isn't so -- she's almost certainly done this before, or she wouldn't do it so blithely this time, and yet new guys keep talking to her. Even for your particular "break up," what has it cost her? Do her family, or girlfriends, or the new guys who started chasing her in the bar the next night and are dating her now, think any the less of her b/c of how she treated you? Not in any meaningful way. Is there anything she could have had if she hadn't flaked out, that she can't have now? Not really -- except for you (and let's face it, she at least thought she didn't want you). She is not ever going to face any other consequence for flake behavior, other than losing the one guy she most recently flaked on, so telling her "this behavior is wrong" when the "wrongness" doesn't cost her anything she values is like telling a criminally-minded person that murder is wrong in a jurisdiction without any laws against it. It's true she lost you, and that was stupid, but if there is any hope she will ever realize this and feel a pang (and the chances of this are somewhat limited given the lack of introspection by most girls), that chance is maximized by your simply walking away and living well -- and probably minimized by your hanging around to dwell on the busted relationship in a way that at least makes her think you're still obsessed with her and she could have you back anytime she decided to play nice for a bit, so that she hasn't lost anything at all.
If the lesson you're trying to teach her is that flake behavior is morally wrong, you've got an uphill battle. Women are essentially amoral. And people in general are unlikely, once they've already done and committed to a particular act, to seriously re-consider its propriety. As one of the more Machiavellian posters around here said, appeals solely to the integrity of someone else (especially when that person has acted in a way that suggests they have little) are the province of the weak. That's harsh, but probably true. And if she thinks you're snivelling, even if her flake behavior was objectively wrong before you started snivelling, she will use magical girl logic to transport your current confrontation/snivelling with her back in time so as to justify her flaking out ex post facto.
