Calling a girl out on flaking: DO or DON'T?

[d0g]

Hey guys,

Let's suppose a girl flakes on you, e.g. tells you she'll call you when she gets back from some event so you can meet up, and then doesn't. When you next chat with or see the girl, do you call her out on this or not?

My usual way to react to this is to just ignore it, even if her flaking inconvenienced me. In my AFC frame of mind, I'm so happy I'm getting to see her again that I don't care that she flaked last time. More recently, I just don't want to come across as really caring that she flaked.

However, I'm wondering if there's a better way to deal with flaking. Should I immediately make some comment? Make some comment when I next hear from/see her?

Cheers,
d0g

 

[Korrupt]

Best way is to say "ok," try one more time, and if she flakes again just delete her number. If you really want to call her out you can, but I have NEVER, EVER, EVER had a girl actually "fess up" and say "ok, I've been flaking on you/blowing you off because I'm not interested." Most will just stick with their lie/excuse, say "ok, whatever" and disregard you.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Don't say anything about it. Just take it in as a clue to her low quality and lack of consideration / common courtesy.

Its nice to come on here and read this forum and see questions like this EVERY SINGLE DAY. Its just a reminder of how rude and inconsiderate the average modern female is. A girl told me yesterday she would text me.. I'm still waiting to see if she is going to flake.

Flaky women are only good for sex. For me.. once a woman shows any signs of low quality and weak morals I immediately place her in the "jizz-dumpster" category and withdraw all emotional energy / investment in her.

Flaky women are only for your penis. Your heart and mind have more important things to worry about.

 

[Crazystarf]

There should be an emphasis on what type of women to be careful of in the DJ bible; most of the answers to these questions are in the bible, so they are well worth reading.

To keep it simple; flaking = disrespect towards you. You deserve much better than that.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Hey guys,

Let's suppose a girl flakes on you, e.g. tells you she'll call you when she gets back from some event so you can meet up, and then doesn't. When you next chat with or see the girl, do you call her out on this or not?

My usual way to react to this is to just ignore it, even if her flaking inconvenienced me. In my AFC frame of mind, I'm so happy I'm getting to see her again that I don't care that she flaked last time. More recently, I just don't want to come across as really caring that she flaked.

However, I'm wondering if there's a better way to deal with flaking. Should I immediately make some comment? Make some comment when I next hear from/see her?

Cheers,
d0g

Some dudes on here place far too much value and need for a chick to validate them.

I deal with people, friends, chicks who flake on each other all the time. If you or anyone gets butthurt and pissy over not understanding that they have a life as well as you should then you might want to look into what you might be doing to have these chicks flake.

The more you don't place too much value or need for people to follow up (hey that's the way it is nowadays. People flake.) and don't stress them over it the more they'll see you don't get flustered easily. Now if someone CONSTANTLY flakes or seems to be just "Agreeing" for AWing purposes. Then forget about them.

Flaking doesn't bother me that much. But people have their own threshold for dealing with chicks nonsense. I let it slide as I have other things I can and will be doing IF a chick flaked and don't stop the world because she "said" she was going to meet up with me.

Chick says she isn't going. My reply: "Don't worry about it I've got stuff to do anyway. lol." or "I hear you. I'm not up to meet tonight either to be honest. lol"

You'd be surprised how they come around as you've showed them you aren't pissed and they aren't REALLY the top priority they may've thought they were to you.

 

[BatJuan]

I deal with people, friends, chicks who flake on each other all the time. If you or anyone gets butthurt and pissy over not understanding that they have a life as well as you should then you might want to look into what you might be doing to have these chicks flake.

If someone flakes, it's often because they are too full of themselves and/or have no consideration for others.

I've made a lot of sacrifices for my friends and family over the years. I've made commitments with them and then subsequently turned down better or more-ideal offers simply because of the previous obligation. They know they can take me at my word. And if someone doesn't respect me enough to keep up their end of the deal, they aren't worth my time. I don't care if it's family, long-time friends, or new acquaintances. They can suck it, and I will kick them to the curb. I don't have time for that BS.

It's more understandable for people you just met, but that doesn't excuse the behavior.

 

[Seriously?]

Does anyone have a good response for a flaker that keeps coming back to me wanting to organise dates?

I was thinking of not responding, but she's on my fb and I think that would be immature on my part, she doesn't seem like a bad girl, just a flaker like so many. Don't want to respond all butthurt, but something to the point.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Usually I won't say anything. If she's worth it and the flake wasn't too bad, i'll give her another chance. But the second time around I won't even start getting ready until she calls me. I'll usually mention something about it like "are you sure you wanna go? because the last time I don't know what happened but we didn't make it..." I'll definitely make it somewhere by my place of my choosing. So a flake on her part really won't inconvenience me at all...

 

[perseverance]

I'd just erase her from my existence and carry on with life.

 

[NewAndImproved]

Usually I won't say anything. If she's worth it and the flake wasn't too bad, i'll give her another chance. But the second time around I won't even start getting ready until she calls me. I'll usually mention something about it like "are you sure you wanna go? because the last time I don't know what happened but we didn't make it..." I'll definitely make it somewhere by my place of my choosing. So a flake on her part really won't inconvenience me at all...

This.

I do think you need to call her out at some point, but you can never be butthurt or frame at as if you're trying to reason, lecture or scold her. That never works and the girl will see right through it. Instead, frame needs to be lighthearted where it's like "how are you going to make it up to me this time?"

It's less about what you say as it is about how you say it.

 

[Seriously?]

Well I'm not looking to give her another chance. Just want to tell her to do one, but in a polite non-butthurt way if possible.

 

[Jitterbug]

Radio silence is the best way to respond. When they flake, they are always curious to see how you deal with it. If they hear nothing.... you're in for some fun!

Does anyone have a good response for a flaker that keeps coming back to me wanting to organise dates?

Get her to organise the date and book the reservation / buy the tickets.

 

[AlexLefty]

Yes.
If they start flaking though, that means you ****ed up earlier.
If they start flaking they probably have little attraction to you.
Thus, you probably won't be able to fix it no matter what you do.

To add to this, u call her out because ignoring her is showing that you care even more. It takes some serious effort to ignore someone..so next time she contacts you "You know what, you flaked on me. That's not how i do things. Goodbye"

 

[cfdagola]

Yes.
If they start flaking though, that means you ****ed up earlier.
If they start flaking they probably have little attraction to you.
Thus, you probably won't be able to fix it no matter what you do.

To add to this, u call her out because ignoring her is showing that you care even more. It takes some serious effort to ignore someone..so next time she contacts you "You know what, you flaked on me. That's not how i do things. Goodbye"

ON each of your three points i've personally flaked many times even with the prospect of sex on the table because of a lot of personal reasons. or maybe a friend got into town that i haven't seen in awhile.

it never meant i wasn't attracted to her because i was.
they didn't **** up. they just weren't a priority to me.
they were being to needy in general however.

i agree on fixing it though. you can't really make me not flake unless i'm totally in love with you.

girls flake guys flake we all do it for pretty much the same reasons. However the one thing that i did in each of my flakes is i was honest about why i was flaking even if it was last minute.

"Hey not gonna make it tonight because a friend i haven't seen just came into town"

"not gonna be there tonight because i'm not really feeling it plus i got an exam tomorrow morning"

you get the picture.

 

[Solomon]

I know this thread is old

I totally get the reason for men not to call women out for flaking, however 7 years since this thread it has gotton worse
Would you flake on a job interview?
a Chance to meet our great president?

probably not, if a woman flakes especially one that you have never seen before I never understood why men gives her a 2nd chance now if this is plate your banging and she makes a counter-offer I'm cool with that, but some thot you met in the field or online whom you never met...no sir

 

[SgtSplacker]

Thing is.. she knows she's flaking on you right. So if you allow too much of this it makes you look desperate or something. You really have no choice in the matter when you think about it. I'd say something in the friendliest way to let her know you do not appreciate wasting your time and move on.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Some guys are done with them right then and there. Word of that type of behavior will get around. "I tried to stretch Mike out on the date, because I really wanted to see my ex, but Mike bounced and never came back".

Another thing to do is to setup an evening that they REALLY want to do. Such as shopping at Nordstroms, and a Fogo De Chau dinner. Have them show up, but never go. That will teach them.

 

[In2theGame]

It depends, If a girl said she would possibly call you back later and doesn't,.... eh i would brush it off for the first time however that's not a great sign because when a girl is into you, she will at the very minimum at least text you to see how you are or apologize she didn't get to call you because of XYZ.

If she did say she would definitely call you and just flakes out on the call then I would shoot her to the back of the line in my rotation of Women. I would completely remove her from my life if she flaked out on a date that she promised she would meet up at. Far too many other Women out there to deal with that type of disrespect.

Side note: If a girl flaked and she made up for it by meeting up with you and letting you fvck her, then you smash that pvssy good and hard and make her say "I'm sorry for flaking on you" while you smash it from behind.

 

[Lookatu]

Another thing to do is to setup an evening that they REALLY want to do. Such as shopping at Nordstroms, and a Fogo De Chau dinner. Have them show up, but never go. That will teach them.

Damn, although I've never done this before, I definitely have witnessed something like this when I was on a date with someone. I would see a single gal sitting by herself, checking her phone and she would literally be waiting there for like 15-30min with a sad face. LOL
I definitely knew what was up. Even better if the girl has to travel far or uber it somewhere.

I guess Karma doesn't let me do those things though...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Damn, although I've never done this before, I definitely have witnessed something like this when I was on a date with someone. I would see a single gal sitting by herself, checking her phone and she would literally be waiting there for like 15-30min with a sad face. LOL
I definitely knew what was up. Even better if the girl has to travel far or uber it somewhere.

I guess Karma doesn't let me do those things though...

You must be lazy. Kharma is implemented by PEOPLE. Someone isn't always going to get the person that did you dirty back for you, you have to take responsibility to enact consequences.

Her kharma for blowing you off, wasting your time and having you setup a nice set of events is something just like I discussed.

If you don't do it perhaps a stronger more game aware guy will do it for you. Wouldn't you rather be that guy?