Calling a girl out on flaking: DO or DON'T?

[Solomon]

I've done that once, some chick I smashed flaked on me twice cause she thought she found a BBD..
I invited her to the art gallery and never showed up, ha ha haha


I just don't play that shyt

 

[Georgepithyou]

If she doesn't like you that's fine, another girl will

 

[skinnyguy]

This is why I usually try to have a backup and a backup of a backup. You know that women are spinning plates, the only way to deal with it is to have your own. If a woman schedules a date with you and then Chad or Tyrone hits her up, you know what’s going to happen. Calling her out on it makes you look butt hurt. If you have enough abundance, a flake won’t affect you.

 

[Georgepithyou]

This is why I usually try to have a backup and a backup of a backup. You know that women are spinning plates, the only way to deal with it is to have your own. If a woman schedules a date with you and then Chad or Tyrone hits her up, you know what’s going to happen. Calling her out on it makes you look butt hurt. If you have enough abundance, a flake won’t affect you.

Very true honestly, i don't fully trust girls until at least a year into the relationship minimum, until then I don't even consider them to be my Girlfriend.

Until she can prove her worth, I don't trust her. I'm about to break it off with my current Girlfriend since we just want different things in life

 

[Lookatu]

You must be lazy.

Lol, not lazy but just not worth my time. I just move on as there are way too many gals out there. Sometimes silence or inaction is the best thing. It keeps their hamster wheel spinning as to why they couldn't invoke some kind of reaction that they normally see from butthurt guys.

 

[Lookatu]

This is why I usually try to have a backup and a backup of a backup. You know that women are spinning plates, the only way to deal with it is to have your own. If a woman schedules a date with you and then Chad or Tyrone hits her up, you know what’s going to happen. Calling her out on it makes you look butt hurt. If you have enough abundance, a flake won’t affect you.

Exactly. My rule is the younger they are, the more backups you need because the flaking becomes exponentially higher.

 

[mikey2012]

No. Don’t waste your time. Move on to the next one. Exception is If she flakes and makes new arrangements. Be with someone who wants to be with you.

 

[Tilex]

Calling her out? Like saying why did you flake on me?
No, that's feminine as hell!
Asking her where she was or who she was with just makes you look more pathetic.

However, there's nothing wrong with treating her like another guy.
Once she crosses the wrong boundaries, all bets are off.
Just tell her to go f*ck herself if she doesn't value your time.
I wouldn't even contact her anymore to be honest.

 

[TheGambino]

Best way is to say "ok," try one more time, and if she flakes again just delete her number. If you really want to call her out you can, but I have NEVER, EVER, EVER had a girl actually "fess up" and say "ok, I've been flaking on you/blowing you off because I'm not interested." Most will just stick with their lie/excuse, say "ok, whatever" and disregard you.

This and you dont need to know more.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Mainly for the guys on this site:

Flaking, by a man (or moreso "boy" as men actually DO what they say they'll do) is rude, immature, and frankly pathetic. It's not cute, funny, or "cool." It's even worse when men do it as it wreaks of female behavior, irresponsibility, and weakness - like their balls never dropped. Still p*issing with the puppies and not s*hitting with the big dogs. Maybe they'll grow up, maybe they won't.

Is it REALLY that f*ucking hard to send a quick text saying you or she can't make the date? You don't even need to provide an excuse or reason. Honestly, people (boys and girls) who do this don't value someone else's time which means they don't value theirs either which means they're s*hitty at managing their life and affairs.

DJs and MEN do what they say they are going to do--period. If you can't make it or changed your mind, be a man and say so.

 

[Barrister]

Just move on. Especially in the OLD settings it happens to literally all of us. Females can't help their brain chemistry. They are naturally afraid to deal with confrontation which is what will happen if they actually messaged/texted you to say "hey I am not going to be able to meet you Thursday night because I actually made plans after we did with a guy I think is better looking/more successful than you are" (what she perceives as higher SMV). Instead, they will just "forget" (or ghost completely).

If it happens, no sweat. There are plenty of women out there. On to the next.

 

[Lookatu]

Just move on. Especially in the OLD settings it happens to literally all of us. Females can't help their brain chemistry. They are naturally afraid to deal with confrontation which is what will happen if they actually messaged/texted you to say "hey I am not going to be able to meet you Thursday night because I actually made plans after we did with a guy I think is better looking/more successful than you are" (what she perceives as higher SMV). Instead, they will just "forget" (or ghost completely).

If it happens, no sweat. There are plenty of women out there. On to the next.

Ding Ding. Bolded from above on what's messed up between the sexes.

There's tons of examples and stories/situations on this. Like guys that think a first date went well and then all of a sudden no response or ghosting by the gal. It's because on first dates, gals are too afraid of confrontation and will say and sometimes do things to avoid it. Like if you lean in and kiss a gal and think she's digging you, think again. She could be interested in you or could just be going with the kiss as to avoid any confrontation instead of pushing you off or saying anything.

Another example is why some women get paid less than the guys but then complain about it or get backed by the Feminists out there. They are too afraid to ask for a raise to avoid confrontation.

I'm sure you guys have other examples

 

[Dash Riprock]

Sounds like You must have been burned a few times. It happens. But when people are fcking with your time your right its not cool. I used to not miss an opportunity to stand the bytch up when she is showing these flaking clues.
It was actually fcking funny.

If you think shes crying over flaking on you its not usually the case. She is probably having a good laugh with her friends.
Blowing s chic off is not female behavior. Freaking out is. Tell them too fck off in one way or another.
Staying on the string is simpy.

My post was mainly for the guys on this site, that it's immature, womanly, and irresponsible to knowingly flake.

The last time I was flaked on was about 3.5 years ago when I was getting back into dating after a 9-year LTR.

Good story:

I dated this woman, 33 at the time, cute, good body, veterinarian too. And she lived close to me. Checked most boxes. We had maybe 8-9 dates. As we were dating the entire time, she had this horrible cough, so I limited my physical contact with her. One night she stays over, we were set to **** after watching a movie, and she starts coughing horribly again. We messed around, I may have gotten a BJ, but we didn't f*uck as her cough was too bad and a turn-off. We're having breakfast the next morning and she says she has a first Match.com date in a few hours. I kind of gave her a look like, "Why the F did you just say that." That's when I started to realize the dating landscape had changed big-time in 9 years. This chick was dating multiple guys--and making it known. Hey, it was within her right to do that. But I'm a very busy guy and frankly just don’t have the bandwidth (or patience actually) to play the dating merry go round with more than a couple chicks at a time. Ironically, she calls a few hours later saying the date was off asking me if I wanted to hang out. I said I was busy. I don't play backup QB to anyone. So things fizzle a few weeks later, I cancelled a date kind of tired of her date-site hopping and other BS.

A couple months later, things rekindle. Can't remember how. I think she reached out. So we set a day/time/place to meet for drinks. I thought maybe she realized her dating merry go round plan was stupid low-percentage so she was circling back to her best option, Dash RR. I pick a place close and that I like, so nothing to lose. It gets to be about 15 minutes past when she's supposed to be there, and she's not, so I call her. She’s out for a walk with her mom and dad somewhere. I say we were supposed to meet and I'm here waiting. She says, 100% true: "You didn't text or call to confirm so I figured you changed your mind." I'm like, "We just confirmed 2 days ago. If there was a question, why didn't YOU reach out?" She says, "Well, I guess I'm the ass*hole then." I just hung up. A 33 year old woman with more education than a human doctor and she can’t keep a date she agreed to. I did have some good whiskey and dinner so not a total loss. She reached out about a year and a half ago via text. I never replied.

I do always confirm dates now as my time is extremely valuable. No confirmation from her = NO DATE from me.
.

 

[bcude]

I do always confirm dates now as my time is extremely valuable. No confirmation from her = NO DATE from me.
.

This is good advice. Not confirming dates can also lead to the girl genuinely mix up the days you're supposed to meet and not show up. It happended to me recently and felt genuine from her side but it still wasted my time and makes me think back to something Glassguy posted. To have a habit of doing a quick phonecall with your date to check the vibe and confirm the date a day before to avoid any questionmarks and more importantly feel out the vibe if she sounds like someone worth spending time with.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Damn, although I've never done this before, I definitely have witnessed something like this when I was on a date with someone. I would see a single gal sitting by herself, checking her phone and she would literally be waiting there for like 15-30min with a sad face. LOL
I definitely knew what was up. Even better if the girl has to travel far or uber it somewhere.

I guess Karma doesn't let me do those things though...

It's funny how things happen right. You see something like that and figure the guy is an arse. Theres always two sides to evry story.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

My post was mainly for the guys on this site, that it's immature, womanly, and irresponsible to knowingly flake.

The last time I was flaked on was about 3.5 years ago when I was getting back into dating after a 9-year LTR.

Good story:

I dated this woman, 33 at the time, cute, good body, veterinarian too. And she lived close to me. Checked most boxes. We had maybe 8-9 dates. As we were dating the entire time, she had this horrible cough, so I limited my physical contact with her. One night she stays over, we were set to **** after watching a movie, and she starts coughing horribly again. We messed around, I may have gotten a BJ, but we didn't f*uck as her cough was too bad and a turn-off. We're having breakfast the next morning and she says she has a first Match.com date in a few hours. I kind of gave her a look like, "Why the F did you just say that." That's when I started to realize the dating landscape had changed big-time in 9 years. This chick was dating multiple guys--and making it known. Hey, it was within her right to do that. But I'm a very busy guy and frankly just don’t have the bandwidth (or patience actually) to play the dating merry go round with more than a couple chicks at a time. Ironically, she calls a few hours later saying the date was off asking me if I wanted to hang out. I said I was busy. I don't play backup QB to anyone. So things fizzle a few weeks later, I cancelled a date kind of tired of her date-site hopping and other BS.

A couple months later, things rekindle. Can't remember how. I think she reached out. So we set a day/time/place to meet for drinks. I thought maybe she realized her dating merry go round plan was stupid low-percentage so she was circling back to her best option, Dash RR. I pick a place close and that I like, so nothing to lose. It gets to be about 15 minutes past when she's supposed to be there, and she's not, so I call her. She’s out for a walk with her mom and dad somewhere. I say we were supposed to meet and I'm here waiting. She says, 100% true: "You didn't text or call to confirm so I figured you changed your mind." I'm like, "We just confirmed 2 days ago. If there was a question, why didn't YOU reach out?" She says, "Well, I guess I'm the ass*hole then." I just hung up. A 33 year old woman with more education than a human doctor and she can’t keep a date she agreed to. I did have some good whiskey and dinner so not a total loss. She reached out about a year and a half ago via text. I never replied.

I do always confirm dates now as my time is extremely valuable. No confirmation from her = NO DATE from me.
.

If the chick doesn't reach out to confirm I'll simply let her know my plans a few hours in advance when the meet up time comes. If we're set to meet at 6 I'll text her at 3 or 4 with something like 'grabbing some groceries then I'll get ready and be omw'. Even if she forgot and I've just reminded her she's got plenty of time to get ready and be present. It also lets me gauge her and gives me plenty of time to set up other plans if she's cold.

I prefer to disappear rather than call women out. I don't provide unsolicited criticism or advice, it tends to feel like a waste of breath. I'd never do something salty like set up a date and ditch a girl on purpose.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

 

[backseatjuan]

Honestly? Many will disagree with me. Take her to museum, go take a piss, and get lost. Leave her there alone.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you do it teasingly it can work pretty well

 

[Solomon]

Too many guys fail to realize is that women hate pushovers. I want to be clear on my opinion. Being a dik has its place but if you do it in reaction that is ment to just manipulate her to get what you want instead of true disgust or IDGF.
You run the risk of coming off as an unstable psycho thats going to yell at her instead of saying what you say directly and be done with it.
Women love azzholes. Thats no secret.

I had a chick flake on me yesterday, she has been wishy-washy with texting back and was dropping major clues she was gonna flake
Older, fit blond. Once it was 2.5 hours past our date time I sent a text "I guess were not hanging out tonight thanks for wasting my time"

Some people may say this is being butthurt, or beta but for a guy like myself who works 50-70hours a week it's the principle. She texted back multiple long text, apologizing making up excuses and wanting to meet me on the spot, I never responded. The thing is with that text I'm not trying to manipulate a woman to going on a date, I'm simply stating that I do not appreciate her bad behavior and move on with my life

Stringpuller is totally right!!!! gaslighting a woman or trying to manipulate her makes you look weak, the text I sent has no venom in it, no calling her out her name. The response I have gotton from women is amazing from begging to make it up to me, to all of a sudden meeting on the spot. The power to walk away from a woman with bad behavior shows you have self-respect and low tolerance for b.s.

 

[Lookatu]

The power to walk away from a woman with bad behavior shows you have self-respect and low tolerance for b.s.

x2 Right on man.

I don't see anything wrong with either approach, professionally in a calm manner telling a girl you didn't appreciate her wasting your time or giving her the silent treatment and just having her wonder if she was even worth a response. Both ways are effective in their own rights and will depend on the individual.

It's when you don't conduct yourself in a calm manner and start responding with profanities and such that would communicate a butt hurt behavior. You don't wanna ever give the girl that satisfaction knowing that they affected you that much or that she really mattered that much.