Called her out on her BS.. Did I screw up?

[FeelsGoodBro]

I lost my virginity a month ago and posted about it here.

I have banged the same girl like 6-7 more times since then. Long story short - we met in class together and started banging shortly after.

I developed some feelings for her and she definitely has feelings for me.

She was involved with an ex who should kept around in the picture. We weren't exclusive, but she was still hanging out with her ex and banging him to my knowledge. I didn't really care at the beginning, but it got annoying when she would text me to tell me she was with him and couldn't stand him.

This week was her birthday which she spent with her ex. She had a big party last night that she didn't invite me to, because her ex was going to be there. She texted me a few times last night which I ignored completely.

Come this morning she rings me up very early to tell me she missed me and then to tell me about her night. I stop her mid sentence and say, "I am not interested in hearing about how much fun you had with your ex, call one of your girlfriends for that"

She was PISSED. She asked me if I was over her, I replied I don't know. She then started crying a little and calling me an *******. The phone call ended shortly after that.

A few hours later she calls me to tell me she is back with her ex, and that we can't hang out anymore. I just reply with "okay, later"

Did I mess up by calling her out on this and showing her it bothered me a little?

 

[FeelsGoodBro]

I am not going to lie, I am a little bummed, but not hurt to be honest.

She was flat out disrespectful to me by her actions. One of her texts she sent me was a picture of her all dolled up and it said "maybe on my next birthday you can be here"

I was laughing at how disrespectful it was -- yet she didn't realize it was. Unreal the character on some of these women.

Oh and yes, we are still in that class. So I will see her.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

You dodged the bullet man. It was either this or her going behind your back with him. She got together with him when you guys broke up, so she was probably doing him too.
Well done man.

 

[FeelsGoodBro]

Yeah, that is true.

I know I am in her head though if she is calling me at 7am the next morning telling me she misses me.

It must have really stung her for her to call me like that and tell me she is back with her ex. Almost trying to get a reaction? I am not going to chase her.

I am going ice cold in class when I see her as well. Not even going to acknowledge her.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Good, just dont change your ways for her.

 

[f283000]

Yeah, that is true.

I know I am in her head though if she is calling me at 7am the next morning telling me she misses me.

The only one that's getting his head messed up is you! Are you this naive?

This girl is playing games with you. You say you're in her head yet she tells you she can't hang out with you anymore and that she want right back to her ex. You really are naive to not see what's going on.

She's stringing you along and has you right where she wants you.

If a girl tells you she misses you and wants to be with you yet she is f**** another guy who she claims "she can't stand" that's classic women mind games. You can do a search in the forums and find out just how much women use this tactic on naive guys that don't know what's going on.

The whole purpose of this tactic is to string you a long and make you her ego booster. Women can be players too and nothing inflates their ego more knowing they are wanted by a guy and keep one stringing along.

What you need to do is to delete her from your life.

 

[JLW]

The only one that's getting his head messed up is you! Are you this naive?

The whole purpose of this tactic is to string you a long and make you her ego booster. Women can be players too and nothing inflates their ego more knowing they are wanted by a guy and keep one stringing along.

Exactly, and the OP acknowledges that. He cut off contact with the girl and he showed that he was the better person....what's the problem here?

She's playing head games with him and he refuses to participate in it or acknowledge it. So he wins.

To the OP:

Definitely never get back together with this girl. I know it probably hurts but you have done the right thing, and you must continue to do it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. This is a LOW quality girl, as you know.

 

[HolyG]

you have done everything perfectly so far.

IF she talks to you, be polite but indifferent, and end the convo as quickly as you can. Also go to the tips section on this forum and look for Jariel's thread near the top, about rejection / dumping.

 

[Ease]

If you are a **** buddy, then you need to play the game of being a fuc buddy.

If you were trying to make this girl your girlfriend, then you know yourself that was a mistake.

In some situations you dont make the rules, you play by them. With a AW girl like this with a big EX-problem, the only thing you have is being the fuc buddy that she has sex with behind her ex's back.

Of course you are annoyed by her disrespect, but in such a situation dont raise your expectations so much.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

I agree wit ease, ever situation doesnt have to be wifey. I would keep drinking his water until i found a new well to drink from.

 

[bukowski_merit]

She was involved with an ex who should kept around in the picture. We weren't exclusive, but she was still hanging out with her ex and banging him to my knowledge. I didn't really care at the beginning, but it got annoying when she would text me to tell me she was with him and couldn't stand him.

Texting the other man about how much she can't stand her (ex)boyfriend is common practice for a woman who's cheating or rebounding. You expect her to text you about how much she loves him?

This week was her birthday which she spent with her ex. She had a big party last night that she didn't invite me to, because her ex was going to be there. She texted me a few times last night which I ignored completely.

The act of ignoring her texts is perfectly fine. Your reasoning for doing it (you're mad) is not! You should be out doing other women (good job on losing your virginity though; now go find other minnow bowls to feed!)

Come this morning she rings me up very early to tell me she missed me and then to tell me about her night. I stop her mid sentence and say, "I am not interested in hearing about how much fun you had with your ex, call one of your girlfriends for that"

This isn't bad for a girl like this. I'm sure she got very horny for you after you told her this.

She was PISSED.

Ah... see? Horny! ... Too bad she was not there; you could have turned it into some amazingly violent sex!

DO NOT be afraid of women being pissed. Treat it the same as a child getting pissed.

She asked me if I was over her, I replied I don't know.

Too serious of a reply for such a needy question.

She then started crying a little and calling me an *******.

She liked these emotions very much though.

A few hours later she calls me to tell me she is back with her ex, and that we can't hang out anymore. I just reply with "okay, later"

Really, no reason to reply again to her nonsense. In person - stuff like this coldness would be 100% more GOLD! Because i guarantee all this was making her horny. Through text or on the phone - nonsense should only get replied to if you comes up with good material.

It's the same as a woman texting or telling you on the phone that she's coming over but, "we can't have sex". That's nonsense and never deserves a response. Not even a call on BS!

Did I mess up by calling her out on this and showing her it bothered me a little?

I don't think you did show her it bothered you too much. She just believes you're cold to her now. Which is good (now you are a challenge). However, a lot of this depends on how her boyfriend treats her. If you're going to play the "cheating" game - know that the woman NORMALLY wants a guy who is a contrast to her boyfriend; the opposite... However he treats her - it's best to be as close to the opposite of that without being a supplicant wussy as possible.

That's if you even want to play that game...

As a man who's just had the first sex of his life; and finally felt a little warmth in his heart for a woman - i would HIGHLY advise you to stay away from taken and/or rebounding women! They will do nothing but jade you and make you as crazy as i am.

You've had your first success.... Now build on that and get some more!

Women can be players too

YES! I got the impression that this woman is pretty good with female player game.

FeelsGoodBro - go get more experience and leave this one alone.

I know it's tough to have success and then move on from it; but more success will come.

 

[CantTouchMyStyle]

This is actually impressive.

If she knows you were a virgin (I am assuming, yes?) it will kill her even more. Holy fvck this is gold.

Ignore her texts (they are coming -- wait for it) and go cold/indifferent in class like mentioned before.

I have a huge smirk on my face right now. This is really gold. Imagine how this ***** feels right now? She thinks you are going to come crying back to her and you just pimp slapped her and she knows you were her first! It's going to kill her. Awesome. Don't back down, stay cold and distant.

Oh man.

 

[Joshski]

Amazing work dude. Just don't reply to any calls, texts, IM's, or other messages. She's probably going crazy now.

 

[romanticman]

The only one that's getting his head messed up is you! Are you this naive?

This girl is playing games with you. You say you're in her head yet she tells you she can't hang out with you anymore and that she want right back to her ex. You really are naive to not see what's going on.

She's stringing you along and has you right where she wants you.

If a girl tells you she misses you and wants to be with you yet she is f**** another guy who she claims "she can't stand" that's classic women mind games. You can do a search in the forums and find out just how much women use this tactic on naive guys that don't know what's going on.

The whole purpose of this tactic is to string you a long and make you her ego booster. Women can be players too and nothing inflates their ego more knowing they are wanted by a guy and keep one stringing along.

What you need to do is to delete her from your life.

Beautiful post.. Chances are she may even have a 3rd guy tucked away as well. Op good work for walking away.What does she think she is?

 

[FeelsGoodBro]

We had class this morning. I show up just as the class is about to start. We sit next to eachother. She says hey. I just give her a polite hello and refuse to look at her the rest of class.

I just got home a few hours ago and told myself I have to know even if I swallow a bit of my pride.

I am actually embarrassed to post this text convo it was so bad, but here it goes:

FGB: So.... I was the guy you needed to make your ex-boyfriend jealous?

Melissa: Noo! How could you say that? I wanted you! But you took too long!

Melissa: I would have given up EVERYTHING for you early on (she mentions specific night), but your attitude, aloofness, and everything else wasn't worth it. Ugh!

FGB: My attitude? Was that the night you told me you were still staying with your EX? (this is before we hooked up) and how he broke your heart? I wasn't going to be your rebound. And I could never tell if your feelings for me were actually real.

Melissa: I wanted to be with you! My feelings were real!!! The timing was just bad.

FGB: Which was it Melissa? Was the timing bad or did I wait too long? Make up your mind! It doesn't matter at this point anyway.

Melissa: It does matter! Ugh! Just cant do anything now!

Melissa: I told you not to get involved! Just know that I do miss you.

FGB: Can't or won't? It doesn't matter. goodbye

Melissa: I can't help how I feel. I care about you, thats why I said to stay away and I pushed you away. I hate relationships, but I don't know.. I wanted you. I am confusing, okay!?

Melissa: Don't ever say goodbye to me!

I realize I am an idiot for contacting her, but I do feel absolute closure now. She was my first so it stung at first, but I am smiling now. She is her "boyfriends" problem now. I still to this day have no idea what she is talking about "taking too long" we boned like the 2nd time we went out together and then just did the fk buddy thing. She is very insecure / overly emotional.

I walk away from this with my first notch on my belt and some decent sex experience.

I've deleted her number and only have to see her in class a few more weeks. I do have two other plates at the moment now too which will definitely help.

 

[blueline]

Very good work. I love the "Don't ever say goodbye to me!" Bitch is trying to string you along through this "I'm confused" behavior. My ex-girlfriend did the same fucking thing, but at a much faster time frame and presumably did not **** around behind my back. As we were breaking up, we got back together for like 45 min., but during this short period of time, I prodded her about her not being sure she wanted to have sex with me for the next 2 weeks because I hurt her so bad when I broke up with her 5 days before this (we got back together in 5 hrs). I should've just ended it there, she was being a total cunt at that point.

She got to hear exactly how I felt about her during that 45 minute period I told her stupid **** like she was the love of my life, and that I hadn't quite let her in. You know, the kind of shit you leave for your fucking wife. Totally choded out.

Anyways, she realized she had all the power at that point. She was even telling me we should only peck each other on the lips (lol, maybe cause some dude's tongue had been in there before me? hell if i know). So, as I was probing what the hell she meant by not having sex with me for 2 weeks, I got her to bring it down to probabilities and got her down to 20% chance that she'd have sex with me again. She'd still never say 0%, even though that's what she meant. To add insult to injury, she said something like she was attracted to me yet I killed her libido and she was sick of having maintenance sex with me. She was trying to string me along, so I reminded her of the time I said I'd leave her if we didn't **** at least once a week. So at that point, I was tearing up and said "fuck this" and walked out of the building.

She deserved every single ****ty thing I did like hit on her friends at parties in front of her, jerk off in her bed while we were in it and she refused to do anything with me, call her a cunt in front of our friends, tell her I would drop her if we didn't **** more than once a week, and just generally insult her when she was having bipolar freakouts.

Lessons learned:
-Some women just want to be ****ed brutally in bed. When they say hard and fast, they mean it. I have a pretty big **** (7 inches long, 6.5 inch girth), but that kind of sex would seriously exhaust the heck out of me. Even a large **** ain't gonna save you when you can't thrust fast enough. Get in fucking shape.
-If you're spending all waking hours that you're not working with your gf, and you're only getting laid 2-3 times a week, ****ing dump her. She's not attracted to you.
-If she doesn't use tongue when you kiss, or uses it very sparingly, ****ing dump her.
-If she can't admit in front of your best friend (that she later hits on massively when you split up) that she's in love with you, dump her.
-If she makes you feel worse about women, dump her.
-Never tell a girl she's your gf.
-Don't tell her you love her unless she's EARNED it.
-She knew I had a bit of a player reputation and told me "once i'm done with you, you won't be able to do that for a while." God damn was she right. Two months later, the psychological damage of the relationship is starting to fade away (I literally cannot recall the details like I used to be able to), and voila, I made out with 3 different girls in the last weekend. One is smitten with me. I setup a date with a new cold approach girl yesterday. I'm noticing girls check me out like they used to and even smile at me. It's like I'm getting my old lease on life back.
-Don't **** hot bipolar type II (recent research indicates that this may just be borderline personality disorder) girls that have been admitted to a mental hospital before.
-If you do end up with bipolar type II, you must crush her psychology at all junctions. This girl can't be loved. You need to remain distant and make her the lover and you the beloved. I was doing this early on in my relationship cuz I knew she was bat****, but I eventually let my guard down.

Anyways, you came out of your first relationship relatively unscathed. I'm extremely jealous of you. The female players are either stone cold killers or emotional wrecks that use their instability in their favor. Smash her vagina a few times and then disappear. It's a fucking act, just like how when you game a woman. They will *seem* like they are the lover, but really, they're manipulating all the factors of the relationship behind the scenes.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Bravo Feelsgoodbro, You are well on your way to becoming a dj!!!!! :cheer:

Don't feel bad about texting her, she was your first and you guys clearly had something so making a mistake like that is perfectly understandable. I didn't believe it till it happened to me, but girls fvcking love to string guys along, so I hope you learned a lot from this experience.

She may have had feelings for you, but she kept choosing her ex over you he's her ex, why the fvck is he at her b-day party and if he is why should that mean you can't come? Especially if she keeps saying how much she hates him. Then she choose him right after ending it with you! WTF!? She was playing you man and probably wanted to be with him along otherwise she would have tried to work things out with you.

You 100% made the right move in this situation (except for the text) and remember you didn't break it off with her, you just called her out and as soon as she realized she couldn't control you she was done with you. If this girl really cared about you she wouldn't have done that.

you might want to consider giving her an ultimatum (either you or the other guy) if you ever talk to her again, but no contact would probably be best. Whatever you do make it clear you are not her back up plan!

It'll be interesting to see how she responds if you keep showing your fine without her and can't be strung along or controlled. Keep us updated!

On to the next!

 

[Ease]

Why are people saying 'well done' as though something good happened?

Guy is doing rebound girl. Girl is making ex and new guy compete. Ex wins, new guys loses.

Well done to the girl, ex comes second (he fails however, we dont envy him because she is hoe), new guy comes 3rd with nothing positive.


What am I missing?

 

[Swift Shadow]

He handled the situation well and didn't come off like a complete AFC, that's why he is being congratulated

 

[Gray The Prince]

Somebody get this man (Feelgoodbro) some Karma! That was worth like 30 points.