Buyers Remorse

[Jay Rod]

Heres my problem. Recently I've become pretty good at going up to girls in the clubs and building attraction, and usually getting a "kiss close". however, i am aware of how girls dont liked to be looked at as sluts - hence the buyers remorse syndrome that occurs every now and then. i really feel like it happens when a confident girl is taken way off guard when a guy is able to make them feel attraction so rapidly and powerfully in a short amount of time and they do things that they "normally wouldnt do". So i have to admit i'm in the time in my life where i would like to find that girl to have a relationship with. i feel like i have worked on myself a lot and my inner emotional state is just right.
So heres the deal..there is a girl i saw (i'm in college - saw her on facebook) that i was mesmerized by..yes mesmerized. I know she had been talkin to one of my older friends who is a TRUE ladies man, so i thought to myself, i need to make a move soon, before he does what he does. So this weekend i saw her at he club, and lets just say it was the best seduction i've ever pulled - i couldn't get her off me - she wouldn't take her tongue out of my mouth (good thing). So 2 days later i sent her a pretty much nonsexual semi-flirtatious email, and of course i get the response basically saying sorry for the all the kissing and its not her to do that and she felt bad about it. What is a GOOD response to when a women feels this way? I want her to feel comfortable and for her to know its ok for her to express herself around me. Any tips, pointers or mindsets would be appreciated with respect to buyers remorse

 

[odietamo]

your email started out really well, but you over did it by the end.

 

[Phyzzle]

You are using seriousness and logic. Two things that should never come out of your mouth or keyboard when you're just starting to get some girl interested.

That was kind of a long, awkward email. I hope there's not much damage. Just invite her to a cafe for lunch, and DON'T expect her to start drooling on you right away. Since she's all bothered about being easy, just do something that doesn't involve boozing.

 

[kingwilliam]

Just act like its no big deal...and then do what Phyzzle said.

 

[Jay Rod]

Thanks a lot Phyzzle, makes a lot of sense - i should know that by now - its part of the maturation process.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Jay Rod,


My advice is:


DON'T TAKE WOMEN TOO SERIOUSLY.

At least, early on. In the future, I would almost totally ignore her attempts at using these "anti-slut defenses". If you MUST address them, continue to address them very BRIEFLY, and very lightheartedly. The less time, credence, and weight you give her objections-----USUALLY the less seriously she'll take them herself.

I would say continue to escalate AWAY from the club setting, continue to invite her to spend time with you in more intimate settings: Like YOUR house or apartment. But whatever you do, don't allow yourself to become a SYMP. Which is a "babe sympathizer".

Refuse to allow yourself to be sucked into HER frames of reference. Refuse to see THE WORLD and your sexually charged encounters from HER point of view. Your job is to LEAD. Be even MORE self-assured and lead her in the directions that YOU want your interactions to go. Always have a plan or two so that you won't be caught offguard as to what to do or where to take her next.

Also, even MORE importantly. You mentioned that you feel you might be in a good emotional state to enter into a relationship with someone. Well soldier, I would advise you to take some time and come up with a list, even if it's a short one, for the qualities and criteria you are looking for in regards to a relationship-type girl.

Start screening the women you meet as closely as you can. Don't even consider "girlfriending" some chick just because there's physical chemistry ONLY. Qualify these chicks in advance before you decide to end your "search". If you're college-aged, time is definitely on YOUR side. So don't rush it. Let the right girl for you "reveal" herself to you by the consistency of her good behavior towards you and her COMPATIBILITY with you.

Always remember that the best relationships are USUALLY cooked better in an "oven" rather than a "microwave". What I mean by this is TAKE YOUR TIME. Avoid thinking of these "instant hookups" as instant relationships, because they are NOT. They are just temporary physical thrills that STILL have to be further investigated before they can be given the seal of exclusive relationship approval.

And lastly, if you really ARE open to having a relationship with SOMEONE, I'd advise you to EXPAND your search to other venues, other times (daygame), and other scenarios. Although clubs CAN sometimes be good for quantity and quality, you will discover that they often are also places that encourage facades and misrepresentations of what these chicks are REALLY like away from that environment.

You'd be surprised how different SOME women act in the day WITHOUT their "bytch shields" up, without their hootchie clothes on, and without the effect of FRESH drugs and alcohol in their systems...

I'm not telling you to dismiss the club scene entirely...just advising you to expand your SCOPE as you look for more "targets of opportunity", soldier.


March on.

 

[Jay Rod]

Great Advice Victory, Day game as a matter of fact is something i need to take to the next level.