"Buy me uber eats?" Red flag discussion

[lamath]

I skimmed the replies but seems overwhelming consensus here is to be insulted. Seems you took it this way too. I totally disagree. People here take such a hard-line on not investing anything ever in women. I guess that's a fine strategy if you're only looking for a short term FWB and nothing more. If you are looking to date, then one of the biggest separators between FWB and dating is mutual investment. You want girls to invest in you and you want to invest in them. It's nice when girls invest on their own but if they don't I will request they do certain things for me and if they don't, I drop them. If they do, I'll return that investment with one of my own. Investment becomes a major part of the glue that binds people. Think about your close friends. They invest in you and you them. It's no different.

She was actually clearly communicating she wanted a mutual investment. She didn't just ask you for something, she told you what she would do to return the investment.... That's really good and kind of rare. I don't even do that. When I ask for investment I don't say what I'll do in return - I just do something at a later date.

For the guys worrying about getting used by a girl they've been banging for a solid month who's only request was $25 Uber Eats, I mean, the worst that can happen is you are out $25 after you do it, then ask her for a favor a few days later, she denies your request so you dump her. You paid $25 to see if she was a user. Seems a small price to me. I think I might have dropped $25 accidentally the other day...

TL;DR it's ok to invest and do what a girl asks so long as she does the same for you, either before or after her request.

Nothing wrong with.mutual investment on this i agree,.
However what i see as wrong is the fact that she ask him to do.something for her that she clearly can do herself. Its not like she was busy af that day and wanted Lunch when she got home. So that request seems childish at best.

Imo investment should not be ask for but freely given.
When ask its never genuine and in the end will not be benificial.

 

[lamath]

@oldmanofthesea You and I normally agree, and I always look forward to your responses. But this time I disagree.

I think this was a straight-out compliance test, to establish a pattern of him buying her things in exchange for sex. The next step would have been STOPPING sex unless he continued buying. Had this done to me actually.

OR, maybe we are taking it too seriously...and she was sitting around half0cut on wine with a Gf and did it on a dare. Who knows.

But here is her words "Babe can you buy me Uber eats and I'll trade if for a nice massage when I see you."

My question is has ANYONE here ever made such a request of a woman? Think about that...…….

And answer this question, anyone?
WHY couldn't she just order it herself?

Curious to hear the answers, interesting topic.

100% with you there.
Feels like she is testing how much power she has over him or how far he will go to please her.
It is not reciprocal investment.
Not acceptable

 

[RickTheToad]

I skimmed the replies but seems overwhelming consensus here is to be insulted. Seems you took it this way too. I totally disagree. People here take such a hard-line on not investing anything ever in women. I guess that's a fine strategy if you're only looking for a short term FWB and nothing more. If you are looking to date, then one of the biggest separators between FWB and dating is mutual investment. You want girls to invest in you and you want to invest in them. It's nice when girls invest on their own but if they don't I will request they do certain things for me and if they don't, I drop them. If they do, I'll return that investment with one of my own. Investment becomes a major part of the glue that binds people. Think about your close friends. They invest in you and you them. It's no different.

She was actually clearly communicating she wanted a mutual investment. She didn't just ask you for something, she told you what she would do to return the investment.... That's really good and kind of rare. I don't even do that. When I ask for investment I don't say what I'll do in return - I just do something at a later date.

For the guys worrying about getting used by a girl they've been banging for a solid month who's only request was $25 Uber Eats, I mean, the worst that can happen is you are out $25 after you do it, then ask her for a favor a few days later, she denies your request so you dump her. You paid $25 to see if she was a user. Seems a small price to me. I think I might have dropped $25 accidentally the other day...

TL;DR it's ok to invest and do what a girl asks so long as she does the same for you, either before or after her request.

You need to re-read the situation dude. This was a sh!t test. Whether or not she knew it was is not the issue, it was, however, one that was presented. If he complied like a good little boy, respect from her to him would had most certainly declined at a rapid rate.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Although it's now too late, texting this image with the caption...

"Next thing you know, they'll be bartering with bit coins"

I'm sure that this would go over real well.

 

[SoSuave666]

Lmao. She’d receive a response from me like “no” at best. At worst I’d delete her from my phone and not talk to her again

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You need to re-read the situation dude. This was a sh!t test. Whether or not she knew it was is not the issue, it was, however, one that was presented. If he complied like a good little boy, respect from her to him would had most certainly declined at a rapid rate.

I'm replying to you but acknowledging the others who've basically said the same thing in response to what I wrote.

I agree that this specific request is questionable at best. Could it be a sh*t or compliance test? Absolutely. I don't care though. I'll do it for her and then I'll ask her to do something for me soon after (you could argue I'm giving her a compliance test any time I ask her anything). Unless her request is something I genuinely do not want to do on my own, I'll consider doing it.

If my ordering her Uber Eats once causes her to lose attraction for me, good. She just screened herself out. If I order her Uber eats and she refuses my subsequent compliance "test" (AKA simply asking her for a favor like two normal people do) then again she just screened herself out. I really doubt this will happen with a girl I've been seeing for a month. My own tests of her investment begin on the first or second date and start out small. So by a month in, there should be a pattern established. It should be no surprise when stuff like this comes up.

Look, I get it... Ordering Uber eats is a really terrible example because it's super easy for her to do from the comfort of her own couch so it does raise a red flag, but it could be caused by her feeling zero investment from OP and being frustrated by it and trying to figure out a way to see if he actually cares about her beyond just screwing. My response is, to large degree, trying to play devil's advocate for all the guys who preach to NEVER do anything a woman asks and never do anything to invest. Things I will do is ask a girl to get me something from the store on her way over, or take me out to dinner and pay for it etc.

 

[Medina]

I had a similar test recently

Girl: There's a few things I'd like you to buy me
Me: You can have a smack for free

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm replying to you but acknowledging the others who've basically said the same thing in response to what I wrote.

I agree that this specific request is questionable at best. Could it be a sh*t or compliance test? Absolutely. I don't care though. I'll do it for her and then I'll ask her to do something for me soon after (you could argue I'm giving her a compliance test any time I ask her anything). Unless her request is something I genuinely do not want to do on my own, I'll consider doing it.

If my ordering her Uber Eats once causes her to lose attraction for me, good. She just screened herself out. If I order her Uber eats and she refuses my subsequent compliance "test" (AKA simply asking her for a favor like two normal people do) then again she just screened herself out. I really doubt this will happen with a girl I've been seeing for a month. My own tests of her investment begin on the first or second date and start out small. So by a month in, there should be a pattern established. It should be no surprise when stuff like this comes up.

Look, I get it... Ordering Uber eats is a really terrible example because it's super easy for her to do from the comfort of her own couch so it does raise a red flag, but it could be caused by her feeling zero investment from OP and being frustrated by it and trying to figure out a way to see if he actually cares about her beyond just screwing. My response is, to large degree, trying to play devil's advocate for all the guys who preach to NEVER do anything a woman asks and never do anything to invest. Things I will do is ask a girl to get me something from the store on her way over, or take me out to dinner and pay for it etc.

It seems, that no only was he requested to order the Uber Eats, but I assume pay for it as well... When he's not even there. There shouldn't be a quid-pro-quo in relationships per se; especially early on. I get what you are saying, but still, it was wrong on so many levels. If he would had complied, I am sure even she would had been taken back. No dude worth his salt would do this. I guess, he may had been able to turn it around and say, what are you in the mood for? He then could say, sure, I'll pick some stuff up for us to share. Be there in 20 or so. That's another way to play it.

I, though, prob. would had been silent for a few hours and said, my bad babe, swamped at work for the last few due to a last minute deadline. I'd be happy to pick something up and we can spend some time together. I'm in the mood for sushi. Does that work for you? My play was kinda like, work first, then me, then you. I am now hungry and willing to share with you. Of course, sex after. ;'p

 

[ubercat]

IDK I'm your vintage too and I don't like to do too much for them in the beginning. I go by the old doc love rule 10 dates or 3 months and once the girlfriend talk has been had sure I'll help them out with all sorts of sh1t. Until then she's just some chick on my rotation.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Men,

Ahhh it doesn't take long for the red flags to peak does it? Dating this girl for about a month, somewhat normal girl and nice, which is a hard right from my usual strippers, bartenders, bottle service, and instaslvts. So that's nice, she refereed to us as boyfriend/girlfriend which I politely said, not yet, but we certainly have the potential to go that way, she politely accepted this. This didn't bother me, what did was out of nowhere one day, she texted me:

"Babe can you buy me Uber eats and I'll trade if for a nice massage when I see you." (texted while I was on a 12 hour shift w no chance of sharing this meal with her)

I'm 38, she's 28, you are a grown woman, why the hell should I be buying you lunch when we are not on a date. My reply was simply, "I don't do uber eats. But I look forward to our next in person date." I also feel like this is the slight testing of the door to turn us men into ATM's... Should I be wary of this? Or is it all good and she was just being fun/playful?

Thanks as always men for any insight, advice, and good old trolling comments!

Be like... are you sucking D?

 

[lamath]

I'm replying to you but acknowledging the others who've basically said the same thing in response to what I wrote.

I agree that this specific request is questionable at best. Could it be a sh*t or compliance test? Absolutely. I don't care though. I'll do it for her and then I'll ask her to do something for me soon after (you could argue I'm giving her a compliance test any time I ask her anything). Unless her request is something I genuinely do not want to do on my own, I'll consider doing it.

If my ordering her Uber Eats once causes her to lose attraction for me, good. She just screened herself out. If I order her Uber eats and she refuses my subsequent compliance "test" (AKA simply asking her for a favor like two normal people do) then again she just screened herself out. I really doubt this will happen with a girl I've been seeing for a month. My own tests of her investment begin on the first or second date and start out small. So by a month in, there should be a pattern established. It should be no surprise when stuff like this comes up.

Look, I get it... Ordering Uber eats is a really terrible example because it's super easy for her to do from the comfort of her own couch so it does raise a red flag, but it could be caused by her feeling zero investment from OP and being frustrated by it and trying to figure out a way to see if he actually cares about her beyond just screwing. My response is, to large degree, trying to play devil's advocate for all the guys who preach to NEVER do anything a woman asks and never do anything to invest. Things I will do is ask a girl to get me something from the store on her way over, or take me out to dinner and pay for it etc.

im not the following rules blindly kind of guy, but i still think this is a disrespect.

I can see your point of view and i think on other occasion it would be valid.
For example she is starving and she is driving home so she cant do it while driving, so she ask him for a favor.
But in op example her intention are clear, its not a favor its a game to see what she can get away with.

 

[DariusTheBartender]

Its really not rocket science.

I dont even go on paid dates in the first place when getting to know them, just take her somewhere free. Then if you do go somewhere paid when you know her better, or you need to do so from the start, you have her just pay for herself it its on the spot or reimburse you if you booked it.

To be honest with you though women have never expected me to pay for them in the first place.

And results? How many first dates end in sex? 2nd dates? Ltrs? I know you've mentioned northern Europe for your home base. I've worked all over the world, I'm curious what the difference is our and culture etc and also always happy to learn

 

[AttackFormation]

And results? How many first dates end in sex? 2nd dates? Ltrs? I know you've mentioned northern Europe for your home base. I've worked all over the world, I'm curious what the difference is our and culture etc and also always happy to learn

I've never gone longer than a 2nd date for sex, and it's mostly been the 1st. No ltrs yet, because I haven't found any mutual matches yet. I honestly don't have the most experience in the world though, but I do have enough experience to write based off of it which is what I do, and I feel confident in saying that how women treat you depends on how you see and present yourself. I try to be congruent with myself by presenting myself in a masculine, sexual way and making no apologies. So they know what they're in for. In fact, if anything the complaints I've had have been that I don't act c0cky and sexually aggressive enough.

It could be more of a regional difference, I can't say, but I wouldn't use that as an excuse. Start experimenting with letting them pay for themselves lol.

 

[RickTheToad]

I've never gone longer than a 2nd date for sex, and it's mostly been the 1st. No ltrs yet, because I haven't found any mutual matches yet. I honestly don't have the most experience in the world though, but I do have enough experience to write based off of it which is what I do, and I feel confident in saying that how women treat you depends on how you see and present yourself. I try to be congruent with myself by presenting myself in a masculine, sexual way and making no apologies. So they know what they're in for. In fact, if anything the complaints I've had have been that I don't act c0cky and sexually aggressive enough.

It could be more of a regional difference, I can't say, but I wouldn't use that as an excuse. Start experimenting with letting them pay for themselves lol.

I'll be honest, more than a few ladies have wanted sex on the first date when I was dating over the past two years. I thought they were too easy and considered the high probability that they had and STD or three; so I passed. Most ladies though I did have sex with on the second or third date.

 

[Roober]

Don't ever bargain for sexual acts. Ever. If she even proposes the idea, you punish her.

I think it's normal behavior that women believe men should be rewarded with sex acts. Read Rollo thing on transactional sex.