"Buy me uber eats?" Red flag discussion

[DariusTheBartender]

Men,

Ahhh it doesn't take long for the red flags to peak does it? Dating this girl for about a month, somewhat normal girl and nice, which is a hard right from my usual strippers, bartenders, bottle service, and instaslvts. So that's nice, she refereed to us as boyfriend/girlfriend which I politely said, not yet, but we certainly have the potential to go that way, she politely accepted this. This didn't bother me, what did was out of nowhere one day, she texted me:

"Babe can you buy me Uber eats and I'll trade if for a nice massage when I see you." (texted while I was on a 12 hour shift w no chance of sharing this meal with her)

I'm 38, she's 28, you are a grown woman, why the hell should I be buying you lunch when we are not on a date. My reply was simply, "I don't do uber eats. But I look forward to our next in person date." I also feel like this is the slight testing of the door to turn us men into ATM's... Should I be wary of this? Or is it all good and she was just being fun/playful?

Thanks as always men for any insight, advice, and good old trolling comments!

 

[AttackFormation]

You are already paying for her on dates, right?

 

[Xenom0rph]

I salute you, my man. You just avoided opening the floodgates.....

* It starts with "can you buy me uber eats...???..."

* then it becomes "can you front me some gas money...???"

* then it's "can you help me out with rent...???"

* then it's "....you owe alimony and child support...."

 

[AttackFormation]

You are already paying for her on dates, right?

I may as well say what I was going to say after you reply with "yes I have been" as we know is the case.

You have already set a precedent of bribing her to be with her. Now, she is actually giving you something back for your bribes - and that's when you react??? First, you already set a precedent of bribery which is bad enough. But then second, why is it somehow now worse that she offers you a massage plus her presence instead of only her presence that you were already content to pay for? WTF dude, LOL.

You need to understand how your behavior is affecting your interactions to set bad precedents. All I can do is once again hopelessly advice you to stop being a simp, I don't get what it is with you guys and insisting on simping. Women can and should pay for themselves, and it is evidently a big deal to the relationship that they do so regardless of it not being a big deal to you. It's the symbolism.

If you don't respect yourself, how could they? Stop being a simp!

 

[tihash]

Is she banging you?

 

[RickTheToad]

I salute you, my man. You just avoided opening the floodgates.....

* It starts with "can you buy me uber eats...???..."

* then it becomes "can you front me some gas money...???"

* then it's "can you help me out with rent...???"

* then it's "....you owe alimony and child support...."

This. If you were with her, that's one thing. It was a test to see how'd you respond. You passed my friend.

 

[ubercat]

She ain't nice. This scam has been run before. Probably to the bitter end of some poor sucker.

Demote to low girl on roster. Or help her with her seeking arrangements profile and demand a cut.

 

[teacha]

Is she banging you?

does it matter?

 

[teacha]

In the future, if you don’t want women treating you this way, stop acting so desperate.

 

[Trump]

Ahhh it doesn't take long for the red flags to peak does it?

No.

Often, if the guy knows how to act. there are no red flags.
Often, if there are red flags, it takes a long time to show up.
Often, if there are red flags, they don’t peak

Dating this girl for about a month, somewhat normal girl and nice, which is a hard right from my usual strippers, bartenders, bottle service, and instaslvts.

Where did you meet this girl, at the library?

I also feel like this is the slight testing of the door to turn us men into ATM's... Should I be wary of this? Or is it all good and she was just being fun/playful?

Thanks as always men for any insight, advice, and good old trolling comments!

It’s definitely good you put your foot down. We can’t have available single nice decent girls in their late 20s asking us to do simple favours for them when we are pushing 40. Screw that. You are right to be wary,

Oh, and when someone says “thanks for good old trolling comments”, he has shown his hand.

 

[DariusTheBartender]

Is she banging you?

Of course. One month. Every time we hang out

 

[DariusTheBartender]

I may as well say what I was going to say after you reply with "yes I have been" as we know is the case.

You have already set a precedent of bribing her to be with her. Now, she is actually giving you something back for your bribes - and that's when you react??? First, you already set a precedent of bribery which is bad enough. But then second, why is it somehow now worse that she offers you a massage plus her presence instead of only her presence that you were already content to pay for? WTF dude, LOL.

You need to understand how your behavior is affecting your interactions to set bad precedents. All I can do is once again hopelessly advice you to stop being a simp, I don't get what it is with you guys and insisting on simping. Women can and should pay for themselves, and it is evidently a big deal to the relationship that they do so regardless of it not being a big deal to you. It's the symbolism.

If you don't respect yourself, how could they? Stop being a simp!

What's your system for having them pay? Feel free to DM me. As I've said before I'll prob never do it w my salary, just not in my nature. But I'd love to learn the system, results, etc.

 

[lamath]

What's your system for having them pay? Feel free to DM me. As I've said before I'll prob never do it w my salary, just not in my nature. But I'd love to learn the system, results, etc.

I disagree with attack on this.

Its ok to be paying for date, what i see as a problem is that she thinks its ok to ask for this.
This tells you alot on how she thinks.
A women that values you would not risk asking for something this insignificant because it make her look bad.

Red flag man

 

[logicallefty]

Classic sh|t test. Congratulations, you passed. Handled it like a boss.

 

[RickTheToad]

She ain't nice. This scam has been run before. Probably to the bitter end of some poor sucker.

Demote to low girl on roster. Or help her with her seeking arrangements profile and demand a cut.

I've read it online dozens of times, but I just do not know how any dud in their right mind would do this. I wouldn't do this in a relationship; let a lone just dating. It cannot be this wide spread. Paying for food when you are not even there? WTF

 

[mrgoodstuff]

does it matter?

YES, very much so. In this day and age the guy used for fvcking is not the simp she uses to buy her uber eats. Almost every time you do something for her she can or should be doing for herself your fvcking yourself over, weakinging your position.

 

[lamath]

The last two GF I had, I paid for first date, no questions asked. If I liked them and saw potential for a relationship, then on the 2nd or 3rd date, I would flat out tell them, that I don't pay anyone else's way, that I expected us to both contribute.

Both accepted this, although the first never gave up on trying to get me to pay more....including the "exchanges" you referred to.

I don't pay for sex. Period. My time is as valuable as hers, my value is at least as high as hers. There is no reason for me to pay someone to spend time with me.

Good mindset.

Sex is not a favor women do for us, if they dont enjoy it or want it with me i want nothing to do wiith them.

 

[DariusTheBartender]

The last two GF I had, I paid for first date, no questions asked. If I liked them and saw potential for a relationship, then on the 2nd or 3rd date, I would flat out tell them, that I don't pay anyone else's way, that I expected us to both contribute.

Both accepted this, although the first never gave up on trying to get me to pay more....including the "exchanges" you referred to.

I don't pay for sex. Period. My time is as valuable as hers, my value is at least as high as hers. There is no reason for me to pay someone to spend time with me.

What's your age range? Do you vet for salary before arranging a 2nd date?

If I date my age they pay enough or offer almost every time. But if I am dating my age I vet and will only accept higher earners. 21 to 30 I generally don't expect them to ever pay... But I also don't expect the bull **** Uber eats request.

 

[AttackFormation]

What's your system for having them pay? Feel free to DM me. As I've said before I'll prob never do it w my salary, just not in my nature. But I'd love to learn the system, results, etc.

Its really not rocket science.

I dont even go on paid dates in the first place when getting to know them, just take her somewhere free. Then if you do go somewhere paid when you know her better, or you need to do so from the start, you have her just pay for herself it its on the spot or reimburse you if you booked it.

To be honest with you though women have never expected me to pay for them in the first place.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I skimmed the replies but seems overwhelming consensus here is to be insulted. Seems you took it this way too. I totally disagree. People here take such a hard-line on not investing anything ever in women. I guess that's a fine strategy if you're only looking for a short term FWB and nothing more. If you are looking to date, then one of the biggest separators between FWB and dating is mutual investment. You want girls to invest in you and you want to invest in them. It's nice when girls invest on their own but if they don't I will request they do certain things for me and if they don't, I drop them. If they do, I'll return that investment with one of my own. Investment becomes a major part of the glue that binds people. Think about your close friends. They invest in you and you them. It's no different.

She was actually clearly communicating she wanted a mutual investment. She didn't just ask you for something, she told you what she would do to return the investment.... That's really good and kind of rare. I don't even do that. When I ask for investment I don't say what I'll do in return - I just do something at a later date.

For the guys worrying about getting used by a girl they've been banging for a solid month who's only request was $25 Uber Eats, I mean, the worst that can happen is you are out $25 after you do it, then ask her for a favor a few days later, she denies your request so you dump her. You paid $25 to see if she was a user. Seems a small price to me. I think I might have dropped $25 accidentally the other day...

TL;DR it's ok to invest and do what a girl asks so long as she does the same for you, either before or after her request.