BUSY or BULLSH!T???

[Jus_LikeCandy]

I never said he was with other chicks. He says he isn't with other chicks....

I guess he is pretty busy. I don't want to pressure him by asking for more, but then again should I be selfish and worry about my needs?

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
I guess he is pretty busy. I don't want to pressure him by asking for more, but then again should I be selfish and worry about my needs?

Listen up men. When you have other life other then the girl, it causes the girl to be frustrated and because she wants you to drop your life and be with her. However once you do that she will lose interest and she will dump you.

Thanks Jus_LikeCandy for showing us having hobbies and life outside dating is beneficial to guys.

As for you Jus_likeCandy, you already answered your own question. If he likes the nature of this relationship and you pressure him, he will probably not like it and the relationship will suffer. If you feel your needs are not met, then break up with him but I doubt that you will do that because you are emotionally drawn to him and we know how much higher women place emotions over logic. You like the chase, obviously he is doing something right.

YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT YOU CANNOT HAVE, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE STILL WITH HIM. ONCE HE GIVES YOU WHAT YOU WANT, WHY WOULD YOU STILL BE WITH HIM???

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

That's not true. I wouldn't leave him if he gave me more of his time. I don't want all of it!!! I would not give him all of my time! A little more wouldn't hurt though...

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
That's not true. I wouldn't leave him if he gave me more of his time. I don't want all of it!!! I would not give him all of my time! A little more wouldn't hurt though...

Remember you said earlier " Men just don't get it"

well I have something for you to pounder:
"Women don't even understand themselves"

As of right now you wouldn't leave him because your attraction to him is high. If he is starts to drop a few days here and there to be with you, I doubt that your attraction level will stay the same. You do not understand attraction and you cannot control attraction. Look at all these women who marry for love with vows saying "til death do us apart" and end up divorcing the guy after a few years. This has become the norm not the exception and of coarse there are millions of men and women getting married each year with those frightning statistics flying in their faces without understanding how to maintain a happy marriage and attraction going, but are following with the faith of "love is enough and because I love him/her divorce will not happen to me".

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Well, this isn ot a game. I want to spend more time with him because I care, not because I want to play some stupid game...

 

[HuuBinh]

Candy,

You should be glad that your man isn't spending a lot of time with you.

He cares a lot about you and wants to keep your interest level high. You have a really good bf in that he knows what he should and shouldn't do.

I know you are going crazy because you cannot control this and have things your way. At the same time, you are so emotionally overwhelmed which can make you frustrated.

YOU CANNOT BREAK UP WITH HIM B/C YOU FEAR LOSING HIM.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Well, this isn ot a game. I want to spend more time with him because I care, not because I want to play some stupid game...

Such a naive girly answer, I really like and prefer cute girls such as yourself who don't understand things such as philo/psych or human nature, makes dating a whole lot easier and better for a man. Should have known better then trying to explain things.

Do whatever you want to do Jus_likeCandy.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Is this what men think? If you give a girl time she won't want you?? Bait her by keeping her at bay?? That is crazy!

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Is this what men think? If you give a girl time she won't want you?? Bait her by keeping her at bay?? That is crazy!

That is soo cute! :flowers:

 

[frivolousz21]

listen if you only see him 1 time a week..

I understand ur deposition....I would want to see my girl 3 or 4 times a week...after a 2 months of being together.

4 full days of not being around someone you care for is a lot.

dont feel bad for wanting that.

I agree with you.

 

[ThisGuy]

Hey, now you know how an AFC fels when he starts coming after you. Now I guess that we DJs will have to let AFC have 2 meanings: Average Frustrated Chump and Average Frustrated Chick.

Lol, the chase is what being a DJ is all about. If you are upset about him not spending time with him, you dump him... BUT YOU CAN'T! You can try, but you won't be able to do it. Take this as a challenge. Try leaving him. You will never be able to stop thinking about him after that, and ou will probably show up at his door an hour later apologizing.
:crackup:

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

:cheer: Thank you!!! For understanding..

 

[frivolousz21]

I also agree with thisguy!


if he wont see you more than 1 time a week after 2 months..you can see where he places you as importance...so do what you have to do.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

I feel like it is like an out of site out of mind type thing. Almost like he isn't thinking about me. But, we just started talikng again and he came to me....after the separation. I would think him coming back meant that he wanted to spend time and work it out. Not see me once a week and never progress after two months...

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
:cheer: Thank you!!! For understanding..

Here's my understanding of your situation and the topic. A busy man is very attractive to a woman as long as he finds some reasonable amount of time to connect with her. What defines "reasonable" is variable and depends on the intensity of other elements of your life. My rule is no more than once a week in the first three months and no more than 2-3 times per week in a LTR. I am dating three women right now as I am not interested in a LTR at the moment. All of them have admitted that my following the 1X per week rule keeps them excited to see me. Plus they know I am seeing other women and that validates my appeal as a confident, single man.

A guy in an LTR should also remain fairly busy to retain balance in his life. Being busy, happy, and balanced is what life is about in my opinion. Being busy protects men from deevolving back into an AFC. When you are busy, you have other things in your life that require you to say no to women. This translates into necessary power needed in relationships with women. It also increases their interest level and drives them nuts. Once you seduce them, they can't handle the fact that you don't need them in your life all the time. Work, family, health, home, travel, artistic pursuits are just some of the many activities and passions we men should balance with our time spent in relationships.

Women who pressure me for more than one date a week in the first three months of dating get NEXTed. Women that push seeing me more than two-three times per week in an LTR get NEXTed. Let me explain. These types of women are too dependant and focused too much on you. They probably don't have enough satisfying things going on in their own lives or have some emotional need that is not healthy. I don't know if this applies in this case, but since you posted this issue, I assume it does.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Mister Big
Here's my understanding of your situation and the topic. A busy man is very attractive to a woman as long as he finds some reasonable amount of time to connect with her. What defines "reasonable" is variable and depends on the intensity of other elements of your life. My rule is no more than once a week in the first three months and no more than 2-3 times per week in a LTR. I am dating three women right now as I am not interested in a LTR at the moment.

A guy in an LTR should also remain fairly busy to retain balance in his life. Being busy, happy, and balanced is what life is about in my opinion. Being busy protects men from deevolving back into an AFC. When you are busy, you have other things in your life that require you to say no to women. This translates into necessary power needed in relationships with women. It also increases their interest level and drives them nuts. Once you seduce them, they can't handle the fact that you don't need them in your life all the time. Work, family, health, home, travel, artistic pursuits are just some of the many activities and passions we men should balance with our time spent in relationships.

Women who pressure me for more than one date a week in the first three months of dating get NEXTed. Women that push seeing me more than two-three times per week in an LTR get NEXTed. Let me explain. These types of women are too dependant and focused too much on you. They probably don't have enough satisfying things going on in their own lives or have some emotional need that is not healthy. I don't know if this applies in this case, but since you posted this issue, I assume it does.

This is good stuff! now we are talking.

 

[frivolousz21]

Im calling bull**** on this...


2 to 3 times a week in a LTR???

ok superman!


seriously.....less than 1 percent of men want to see the girl they really care for or love 2 or 3 times or less a week.

thats 8 to 12 times in 30 days.

thats 96 to 144 times a yr!


that means you see the person you love less than 1/4 of ur life????

ok?

you can be a man in ur relationship and see her as much as you want.

its about self confidence.

then agian I suppose some guys prefere being busy over getting laid!

 

[iveyleeger]

Less than 1% nothing.

You did a study, professor?

The point is about controlling your need in order to maintain her IL. It's not about you.

 

[Void]

hahaha this is why girls dont come on this site. its like entering the matrix...take the blue pill!
:crackup: :cheer: :woo:

 

[Reed247]

get off the board

stop helping her you morons, this is a board for men not women.
And you women are the ones acting busy all of the time, playing hard to get by the way.