marmel75
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2012
- Messages
- 7,231
- Reaction score
- 5,636
Well, the title says it all, I fvcked up and left my phone upstairs while I was at the computer. Wife obviously has been watching me as I put my swipe code in as she was able to unlock it and saw multiple text conversations I have had with other women. I convinced her nothing else happened other than our text conversations(not true).
She was hysterical for about an hour...crying, screaming...stopping for a few minutes and then starting all over again. Talked at length about my growing discontent over the past few years with how things have been going, espeically financially as her refusal to get a job has put us on uneasy financial footing. Not like we are missing any payments or anything, but in a situation where, for isntance, we just had to have a plumber come in and replace our toilet upstairs as a bad wax ring was causing water to leak downstairs through the ceiling in the bathroom there and had to pay $350 on a credit card as it would have made things really really tight if we paid with cash or check...
She made me to text all of the women:
"Please do not contact me again. I am happily married with two children. I apologize if I misled you."
and then delete the contacts from my phone.
She promises she will get a job part time, said of all the things she would never have expected me to do this was it, and that if I was unhappy and frustrated to this point I should have forced her to listen all the times I brought it up. which I got pretty pissed about and started actually raising my voice over. I have tried no less than 10 times(probably more like 15) to start conversations regarding her helping out financially and have been blown off or had the subject changed pretty much every time. The one or two times we did actually have a conversation she kept making the excuse that I was overstating things and that we were fine the way things are. She said she considers it cheating regardless of what I did or didn't do. Said she is devastated but never once said she wanted a divorce(goes along with my belief that she will never leave me). Asked if I want to be single again, to which I responded no, but that I cannot deal with things the way they are right now anymore either. Something has to change because this isn't what I signed up for when we got married(we both worked full time then and were pretty comfortable financially).
After our hour long convo, it was weird, things seemed like they were back to normal for about 2 hours. Then I left and went to the gym and when I got back she basically didn't talk to me for the remainder of the night and went to bed without saying anything. I can't say I blame her.
Just wondering what I have in store in the upcoming weeks from anyone who has been through this. Obviously I have some damage control to work on. I assume things probably will get worse before they get better the longer she has to dwell on things while I am at work and talk to others about it.
I do feel bad that I hurt her, but at the same time, this might be the only thing that could have forced her to see my unhappiness and frustration that has been growing since my attempts at bringing it up to her are not being heeded. Doesn't excuse what I did, but I do still love her and do not want a divorce.
any advice appreciated by some who might have gone through something like this.
She was hysterical for about an hour...crying, screaming...stopping for a few minutes and then starting all over again. Talked at length about my growing discontent over the past few years with how things have been going, espeically financially as her refusal to get a job has put us on uneasy financial footing. Not like we are missing any payments or anything, but in a situation where, for isntance, we just had to have a plumber come in and replace our toilet upstairs as a bad wax ring was causing water to leak downstairs through the ceiling in the bathroom there and had to pay $350 on a credit card as it would have made things really really tight if we paid with cash or check...
She made me to text all of the women:
"Please do not contact me again. I am happily married with two children. I apologize if I misled you."
and then delete the contacts from my phone.
She promises she will get a job part time, said of all the things she would never have expected me to do this was it, and that if I was unhappy and frustrated to this point I should have forced her to listen all the times I brought it up. which I got pretty pissed about and started actually raising my voice over. I have tried no less than 10 times(probably more like 15) to start conversations regarding her helping out financially and have been blown off or had the subject changed pretty much every time. The one or two times we did actually have a conversation she kept making the excuse that I was overstating things and that we were fine the way things are. She said she considers it cheating regardless of what I did or didn't do. Said she is devastated but never once said she wanted a divorce(goes along with my belief that she will never leave me). Asked if I want to be single again, to which I responded no, but that I cannot deal with things the way they are right now anymore either. Something has to change because this isn't what I signed up for when we got married(we both worked full time then and were pretty comfortable financially).
After our hour long convo, it was weird, things seemed like they were back to normal for about 2 hours. Then I left and went to the gym and when I got back she basically didn't talk to me for the remainder of the night and went to bed without saying anything. I can't say I blame her.
Just wondering what I have in store in the upcoming weeks from anyone who has been through this. Obviously I have some damage control to work on. I assume things probably will get worse before they get better the longer she has to dwell on things while I am at work and talk to others about it.
I do feel bad that I hurt her, but at the same time, this might be the only thing that could have forced her to see my unhappiness and frustration that has been growing since my attempts at bringing it up to her are not being heeded. Doesn't excuse what I did, but I do still love her and do not want a divorce.
any advice appreciated by some who might have gone through something like this.
